Chapter Four

Chapter Four

The animals and Justin were on high alert as they approached Carcross. Something just wasn't right. It was so silent that Carly could hear the wind whisper through the long grass beside the road and the tiny waves that lapped at the shore of the lake.

Justin took another gun from the wagon, stuck it in the back of his belt, and pulled his T-shirt out over it. He told Carly to check her weapon to make sure it was loaded, and she fumbled through the process while he scanned the town, his eyes sharp and intent.

Beside Carly, Sam let out a soft whine. His ears swiveled as he searched for sounds. Justin cursed. "I don't like this."

"Neither does Sam." Carly tried to reassure the wolf by stroking his soft ears, but he ignored her. Behind them, Shadowfax gave a snort and shook her head.

"I'd leave you here to wait if I thought that would be safer," Justin murmured. "But I don't think we should split up right now."

"Is there someone here?"

Justin nodded. "I think so. No need to assume the worst; it could be someone just wanting to trade, and they're watching to see if we're friendly or not."

"Let's go around. We don't need any supplies right now."

"We can't go around," Justin said. "This is the only way across the lake, and we're leaving the Klondike Highway here. This is the last town you'll see for a long while."

"I don't care about seeing a town. Can we maybe go around once we get on the other side of the bridge?"

"We'll be all right, Carly. Just don't wander off."

The end of the bridge opposite the town had two police cars parked nose to nose to block traffic. Someone had tried to ram their way through in a Chevy Cavalier, and the front of the car was crushed all the way up to the cabin. Carly avoided looking at the interior. Behind the crushed car was a line of vehicles, which stretched all the way across the bridge into the little town. Carly kept an eye on the buildings while Justin scavenged a few things here and there from the cars themselves, canned goods, a few cases of bottled water.

Sam let out another soft whine, and Shadowfax stamped her hooves with a toss of her head, as if to say, "Come on! Let's go!"

"We've got to grab supplies wherever we come across them," Justin said, and Carly wondered whether he was speaking to the animals or to her.

The last vehicle in the line was a van. It sat just a few feet from the end of the bridge. Justin slid the side door open. "Jackpot!" It was loaded with food and water, even a couple of twelve packs of soda.

A shot rang out and hit the road behind the van. "Down!" Justin shouted at Carly and used the corner of the van as cover while he fired off shots in the direction from which the gunfire had come. Carly was only a couple of steps behind him when the gunfire started, and she immediately crouched down behind the wagon. Shadowfax, who had strolled ahead, let out a squeal of fear at the sudden noise. Sam darted toward Justin just as a man surged up from under the end of the bridge behind them and threw a fishing net over Sam. Carly fumbled for her gun, but she didn't have Justin's quick reflexes. The man grabbed her around the waist and yanked her back against him. He pressed a knife to her throat so hard that she felt it burning as it sliced through the top layer of skin before she felt a small trickle of blood.

"Don't move, bitch," the man said with a hiss. His sour breath fanned across her face, and Carly gagged.

Justin spun to face them, his back to the van and his gun pointed straight at the man behind Carly. Beside them, Sam snarled and writhed in the net, entangling himself more with every movement.

"Drop it, asshole," the man spat at Justin. "Or the bitch dies."

She had seen the icy calm in Justin's face only once before—when she had been attacked in Fraser. Justin opened his hand, and the gun fell with a clatter to the pavement.

"We got ‘em, Mikey," the man shouted.

A second man emerged from behind a corrugated metal building with the words "General Store" painted on its pink, false front. He crossed the road to them and grinned at the man holding Carly. "She's a cutie. We're going to have a lot of fun with this one."

"Kill him," the man holding Carly said in the same mildly contemptuous tone he might have used to direct Mikey to step on a bug.

"Nah, it's more fun to tie ‘em up and make ‘em watch." Mikey began poking around in the wagon to see what they had brought.

Then several things seemed to happen all at once. Carly heard the clomping of hooves on asphalt as Shadowfax ambled up to the man holding her. Out of the corner of her eye, Carly saw the horse stop just a few feet away. Her captor glanced back once but ignored the horse, turning his gaze back to Justin. Casually, as though she were munching on some grass, Shadowfax extended her neck and chomped down on the man's shoulder. He bellowed, and the hand holding the knife to Carly's throat fell away as he grabbed his shoulder. Carly let her legs go limp before she dropped like a sack of cement to the road in front of his feet. Justin moved so fast she could barely track him. He whipped the gun out of the back of his belt and shot the man who had been holding Carly.

Mikey shouted and tried to bring his rifle up. Shadowfax reared and struck with her front hooves, and Mikey flew back. He slammed into the van behind Justin and collapsed down to the road with a pained moan. Justin shot him twice before he walked over to Carly, who was still sitting on the road. She had a hand clamped to her bleeding neck.

"Let me see," Justin said and pulled her hand away.

"It's just a scratch." Carly was surprised at how calm and steady her voice sounded. Adrenaline pumped through her veins, making her tremble, making her breath come short.

He peered at the cut and then turned to poor Sam, who had ceased to struggle. He panted heavily, his amber eyes pleading. Justin drew out his knife and cut the strands of the net around him. Sam surged free of it and gave Justin a lick of thanks before rushing over to Carly, whom he sniffed all over. He pushed at her with his head, trying to urge her to her feet.

Justin helped her stand. Without a word, he led her over to the wagon and retrieved an alcohol wipe from the medical kit. He dabbed at her cut with it.

"Seems like I'm always patching you up, huh?" Justin's voice was gentle. He applied a bandage over the cut. "There you go."

Carly burst into tears.

Justin pulled her into his arms and laid his cheek on top of her head. She distantly heard his soft murmurs and felt him stroke her hair.

"I'm s-sorry," she gulped. "I d-don't know w-why I'm crying."

"Delayed reaction to fear and adrenaline," Justin said. He released her to get a cloth from the wagon so she could wipe her face. "It's normal. You have to get it out somehow."

Carly heard the click of Shadowfax's hooves as she came over to them. She snorted in Carly's face and bumped her nose against her shoulder. As Carly petted her, Shadowfax hooked a foreleg over Carly's hip as though to draw her closer for a hug and laid her head over Carly's shoulder with a soft rumble.

"Good horse. Thank you for biting that awful man."

"I've never seen anything like this," Justin, said with wonder in his voice. "I swear to God, you're like a video game Druid, sending animals to do your bidding."

Carly let out a shaky laugh. "Bet you're sorry now that we haven't found a bear yet."

"I changed my mind. Add whatever animals you like to our group. In fact, we'll stop at the next city zoo we come across, and you can take your pick."

Carly giggled, as he had intended. Justin hugged her again. "Smart of you, dropping down like that."

"I knew you needed a clear shot."

"I didn't know if you'd remembered the second gun."

Carly shuddered. "We're lucky they didn't see you put it back there. What if they'd taken it from you, too?"

"I still had my knife."

Carly gave a soft snort. "What could you do with a knife from ten feet away?"

Before she could blink, Justin whipped the knife out of its scabbard and flung it at a telephone pole. It buried itself nearly up to its handle.

"Questions?" Justin arched a brow.

Carly's jaw dropped. She shook her head slightly to clear it and looked around at the little town as he pulled the knife out of the pole. "Justin, can we please just go? I mean, we got some supplies. Can we move on, now?" If this kind of thing didn't stop, she was going to start developing a phobia about towns.

"I want to check out the store." Justin picked up an empty backpack from the wagon.

"Justin, no, please." There was no way she was going in there.

"Stay right here by the door. Shadowfax and Sam will be with you. Look at them—they're relaxed now. They know all the bad guys are gone. I'll be quick." With that, Justin kissed Carly on the top of her head and went through the doorway.

It seemed as though Justin were gone for hours. Carly sat down on one of the benches outside the store. Sam hopped up, sat by her side, and panted, his tongue draped out the side of his mouth. Justin was right, he was relaxed. But, his ears still swiveled as he searched for sounds, and his amber eyes were watchful. Shadowfax, on the other hand, contentedly chomped at the thin strip of grass between the sidewalk and the street.

Justin emerged, his backpack bulging and a shoebox in his hands. "I found you some better shoes." He withdrew a pair of black moccasin-style shoes with a thick rubber sole. "Size seven, right?"

Carly nodded and slipped off her sandals to try on the pair he'd brought. She took a few steps. "Perfect. Thank you."

They mounted their bikes, rode down the main street, and turned onto Tagish Road. "There were others in there," Justin said suddenly.

"What? Other bad guys?"

"No, other victims. There were other travelers who passed this way. I'm glad I killed them, Carly." Justin shook his head. "I've seen this sort of thing before. When the center doesn't hold, there are people who take advantage of it."

Carly sucked in a startled breath. " ‘The center doesn't hold,' " she repeated. "Where did you get that?"

"Hmm?" He looked at her with a small shake of his head.

Her father's voice echoed in her mind. Things fall apart, Sugar Bear. The center does not hold. Carly swallowed around the lump in her throat. "It was something my father said to me. I just wondered if it was something—I don't know, something that you guys said in The Unit."

"Maybe." Justin thought about it for a moment, as if trying to recall where he'd first heard it. "It was something Lewis said to me once. He was one of our commanders. He said it to me right before—" Justin cut off abruptly. "Right before something I'll tell you about another day. So, maybe it was a line he used around your father. I don't know."

"Justin?" Carly paused, biting her lip, as she wondered how to ask her next question. She could think of no other way but to come right out and ask it. "Does it bother you to kill people?"

Justin was silent for so long that she didn't think he was going to answer. "Sometimes. The first one is always the hardest."

She tasted blood from her lip. "I—I need to tell you something, Justin. That man in Fraser wasn't the first person I killed." It was so difficult to force out the words, but she had to say them, had to tell him. If she didn't tell him immediately, she never would. She had to get it out so she'd hopefully never have to discuss it again. Wasn't confession supposed to be good for the soul? Carly certainly didn't feel better. She felt awful, and it was very hard to look at Justin to see what his reaction was.

He didn't look as shocked as she expected him to. He slowed his bike to a halt, and Carly reluctantly stopped, too, though she kept her gaze on the sand dunes beside the road that had once been part of the lake bed. There was a sign nearby that identified it as the "Smallest Desert in the World," and ordinarily, Carly would have been fascinated with such an odd geological feature, but at that moment she simply stared at it to avoid having to look at Justin.

"What happened to you, Carly? Talk to me, please."

"I don't want to." Now that it came right down to it, she didn't want to talk about it. Maybe it had been a mistake, saying as much as she had. A small inner voice chided her for chickening out, but it felt like all of her courage had abruptly deserted her.

"I think you need to. Look at me, Carly."

With effort, she did.

"Do you think I'll judge you?"

Carly watched as Sam loped off to explore the underbrush along the road. A butterfly flitted through the branches and Sam bounded after it, gleefully jumping and twisting in the air to try to catch it. Carly envied him—that he could take such joy in a simple thing. Perhaps there was a lesson in that. She would have died today if Shadowfax and Justin hadn't protected her. Or, worse, she might wish she was dead after Mikey and his friend were through with her. Life was such a fragile, precious thing, and it could be gone in an instant, like a puff of wind through dandelion down. She should take pleasure and joy when life offered it to her for she might never get another chance. And she should appreciate the important things, like friendship.

Carly turned to Justin and took a deep breath. "I didn't mean to. I didn't want to. It just sort of happened."

He nodded. "An accident."

She shook her head and dropped her gaze back to the ground. "I can't really say that either. My dad didn't die of the Infection. I killed him."

Though it was one of the hardest things she had ever done, she looked up and met Justin's eyes. He wasn't shocked or horrified. If anything, he looked compassionate. That somehow made it worse, because she didn't feel as though she was worthy of sympathy. "Why?"

She gripped the handlebars of her bike so tight her knuckles were white. "I was taking care of Dad and Mom. Both of them had the Infection. My dad had begged me to go. He said he and Mom weren't going to make it, but I couldn't just abandon them." Her eyes blurred with tears, and when she blinked, they fell to the dust at her feet. "I was so exhausted I could barely function, and it was so awful that for a while, I almost hoped I'd catch it, too, so it would all be over. And when I went to get something to eat and turned on the TV, I kept seeing these horrific images of what was happening out there, and it just seemed like one endless nightmare. Even now, it seems like a memory of a dream."

She risked another quick glance up at Justin and saw that he was watching her, waiting to hear the rest of it. There was no condemnation in his eyes, and it gave her the courage she needed to go on, to finish it.

"I must have fallen asleep in the chair beside my parents' bed. I woke up and it was dark, and my dad wasn't in the bed. I looked around and saw him standing in front of the bedroom door, his back to me. Just standing there. He was swaying a little, rocking on his feet like a man trying to keep his balance on a boat. I thought if he was out of bed, it must be a sign he was getting better. I said his name, and he turned around—"

Carly's voice broke, and she had to pause for a few deep breaths before she could go on. "He turned around, and he wasn't my dad. I mean, he was, but I'd never seen him like that. His face—it was twisted with hate, and he shouted at me in another language. It was like he didn't even recognize me."

It was getting harder to force the words out of her tightening throat. Carly hugged her arms tightly around herself and shivered, though the day was warm. "H-he hit me. Hit me so hard I fell out of my chair onto the floor, and then he was choking me. I know he didn't mean it. He never would have hurt me, not in a million years, but the fever—I shoved him off me, and he hit the wall at a bad angle, and his neck broke. I killed him. I killed my dad." The last word was barely a whisper, but she had gotten through the worst of it. In the midst of the pain, there was a small glimmer of relief.

"Carly, honey," Justin said softly. "I had no idea you were carrying a burden like this."

Almost over. Tell him the rest of it, and let it be finished. "I don't remember much after that. I know I put him in bed next to my mom. She died less than an hour later."

Justin must have heard the guilt in the last few words because he said her name and moved toward her as though to hug her. Carly stepped back. If he took her into his arms, she'd cry and maybe never be able to stop. She had to finish this.

"I clasped their hands together. I took some things—my dad's ring and my mom's pearls— and left. I went home. I tried to call 911, but it always rang busy. I kept trying until the day the phone didn't work anymore. I just left them there, Justin. I should have... I don't know. I should have done something for them."

His warm fingers, rough with calluses, tilted her face up. Her vision was blurry from the tears. She blinked and they fell onto her cheeks, and she drew in a shaky breath. "Now you know. I killed my dad."

"He'd be proud of you, you know."

Her mouth dropped open slightly, and she stared at him. What in the world did he mean by that?

"He would have been proud you fought back and saved your life. Honestly, I can't say I knew him well, but I know Carl Daniels would have wanted his daughter to be able to defend herself and be capable of getting away from someone hurting her."

"But... it was my dad." She didn't know how to explain her confused feelings because she'd never quite managed to sort them out herself. Guilt and sorrow warred with her practical side, which reminded her again and again she hadn't had a choice. If only her head could convince her heart.

Justin pulled Carly into his arms. She sank gratefully into the hug, hiding her face against his chest. The rumble of his voice was soothing. "No, he wasn't your dad at that moment, just like you weren't his daughter. As you said, Carl never would have hurt his daughter. You were someone else to him. A stranger. An enemy. And he was someone else, as well. He would have wanted you to save yourself, Carly. There's not a doubt in my mind about that. Even if you had meant to kill him, I'd say the same thing."

Carly closed her eyes. She could hear the strong, steady thump of his heart beneath her ear. "You're not just saying that to try to make me feel better, are you?"

"I wouldn't do that. If I thought you'd done wrong, I'd tell you. And then I'd tell you to forgive yourself and do better with your life from now on. But I don't need to say that. Because you didn't do anything that needs forgiveness."

She could hear the sincerity in his words, and as she had told him before, she knew he was right in her mind, but her heart was another matter.

"Do you believe in God, Carly?"

The last question threw her. It seemed so out of the blue, and for a moment, Carly didn't respond. "I suppose. I mean, I'm not religious, but I'm not an atheist, either."

"Do you believe in the afterlife? Meeting up again with your loved ones?" She felt something brush against the top of her head and wondered if it was his lips.

She thought about it for a moment. "I like that idea. I'm not sure how much faith I put into it, but I hope it's true. I would love to see Mom and Dad again."

Justin's voice was low and gruff. He tucked his fingers under her chin and lifted her face until she was looking up into his eyes. "The first thing he'll do when he sees you, Carly, is tell you how proud he is of you and how much he loves you."

"How do you know?" Carly asked. She didn't want to sound snarky, but the question came out a little irritably, nevertheless.

"Because that's how I'd feel."

Three days later, Justin had to admit he was in trouble.

They had just left the town of Watson Lake after staring in bewilderment at the Sign Post Forest. Hundreds of poles and trees were covered in signs of all shapes and sizes, from road signs to hand painted plaques, which all bore the name of a town. Handwritten names and stickers adorned some of them. Some were veritable antiques, faded and weather-beaten, while others were bright and new.

"I wonder how something like this gets started?" Justin asked. He shook his head slightly as he gazed around at the innumerable messages around them. He'd never seen anything quite like this in all his travels. "Who was the first person who put up a sign, and why?"

"It's leaving a mark," Carly said. "It's a way of telling the world, ‘I was here. I was.' In that way, they can become a part of it, you know?" She reached out and touched a wood sign with burned letters that read Shreveport, with a name carved below. "This person—he imagined someone coming along fifty years from now and thinking of him, even just for a moment." She traced over the letters, a thoughtful expression on her face. "The ancient Egyptians believed that as long as your name survived, you were immortal. Maybe people still think that way." Sadness briefly crossed her face, but she turned away and they headed into the town.

The wagon was bulging with supplies. They could have taken more from Watson Lake if they'd had room, and Justin mourned that fact. Justin had even looked for a larger wagon or a second he could hook to Carly's bike but had no luck. He could tell Carly was tired after a long day of scavenging, so they set up camp on the outskirts of town.

Carly and Sam had gone down to the lake for a bath and a swim, respectively. Justin was gathering firewood, and he honestly didn't mean to go toward the lake, unless his body had become a tractor beam where she was concerned. That seemed likely, considering he'd woken the last two mornings on her side of the tent, with Carly's back spooned against his chest. He'd managed, both times, to carefully ease away without waking her.

Carly stood with her back to him, her arms raised in graceful pale arcs above her head as she shampooed her hair. The wood fell out of Justin's arms with a clatter, which she didn't hear because Sam went bounding through the small waves at the shore to pounce on her and knock her into the water. Carly sputtered and laughed as she surfaced. She stood, and that's when Justin knew he was doomed.

She was wearing a white tank top and white cotton shorts. He thought all women knew the danger of wearing white cotton in water, but Carly didn't seem to realize she might as well have been nude for all the transparent-when-wet material revealed. She giggled and playfully lunged at the wolf.

She didn't notice Justin in the tree line, intent as she was on her game with Sam. Sam darted around to her back and knocked her into the water again, and Carly laughed as she lunged to try and catch him. It was such a sweet sound. She didn't laugh enough.

Yep. Doomed.

Feeling like a pervert, Justin gathered up the bundle of sticks and small logs he'd gathered and headed back to camp. He laid them in a pile on the ground beside the fire ring he had already constructed. Carly intended on starting the fire for practice. He sincerely hoped she changed her clothes first.

Justin had tried to fight his attraction to her. He told himself sternly he was much too old for her. He sure as hell wasn't good enough for her; her father would have killed him before he'd allow Justin within ten feet of her. And it would be wrong to take advantage of her feelings of gratitude and dependence.

His body disagreed.

Vehemently.

He'd tried to force himself into a paternal role with her, but then he ruined it by saying something flirtatious. He couldn't help himself. He delighted in seeing her giggle or blush.

Sam trotted back to camp, smelling of vanilla-scented shampoo. He gave his fur a vigorous shake as if to throw the aroma off him and gave Justin a doleful look.

"Sorry, man," Justin said. "Girls like that stinky shit. And if you roll in anything, she's just going to wash you again."

Sam lay down with a long-suffering "Hmph!"

Carly followed him into the campsite just a few moments later. Her hair and torso were wrapped in a towel, and Justin said a silent prayer of thanks at that. She smiled at Justin and disappeared into the tent. She emerged a few minutes later in a T-shirt and pajama pants that were light blue and had little white sheep printed on them. Her wet hair hung down her back in soft waves. Justin had been all over the world and admired female beauty of many races and cultures, and in his opinion, Carly's hair was the most beautiful he'd ever seen. He liked it best when she left it loose to tumble down her back. It caught the sunlight and turned to gold. In the firelight, it was rich amber with dark honey shadows.

Yep. Doomed.

Carly whipped it into a braid and caught it at the bottom with a black elastic hair tie. Where did she keep getting those damn things? Whenever Justin came across one, he made sure it got "lost." He must have tossed a hundred of them so far, but she had an apparently inexhaustible supply.

"I'm going down to the lake," Justin announced. He grabbed the things he needed from his pack.

"Okay." Carly tossed him a bright smile and started building a tiny pyramid of kindling. She had his knife and had worked the piece of flint out of the pommel. He wanted to stay around and watch because he knew as soon as she managed to get a fire going she would give that proud little grin that always made his heart swell.

Doomed.

Justin walked out into the water, holding back the urge to shout a curse at how cold it was. He had no idea how Carly stood it as well as she did. Maybe she had acclimated to it while growing up in Alaska, but as much of a "city girl" as she had been, he doubted it.

Justin washed quickly with a bar of unscented soap, a habit he had acquired in The Unit. He'd once detected an enemy due to the faint scent of his aftershave and had used unscented products since. He wondered if Carly would like it if he got a bottle of men's shower gel—the stinky shit they sold in those stores that just carried lotions and perfumes. Maybe he should keep an eye out for—

Justin chided himself. If anything, he ought to be thinking of ways to keep her away, not to attract her.

He shaved, the first time he'd done it in months, and it was a relief to get that itchy fur off his face. He walked back onto the bank and scooped up his towel just as Carly burst from the tree line. "I did it! I did it!" She slammed on the brakes when she realized he was nude save for the towel he held in front of his junk.

"Sorry!" Carly blurted and spun around. "I—uh... I wasn't thinking. I was just so excited I wanted to tell you right away."

"It's okay." Justin blushed and then was embarrassed for blushing. He pulled on a pair of boxers and his jeans and hoped the heat would fade from his cheeks before she looked at him again. "I'm decent now."

She spun around again with a big smile before it suddenly died as her eyes went wide. She stared, openmouthed. Justin glanced over his shoulder to make sure she wasn't staring at something behind him. "What?"

"You shaved."

Justin rubbed his hairless jaw. "Yeah, I did."

"I didn't—You—"

"I don't usually wear a beard, if that's what you mean. I only had one because I couldn't find any decent disposable razors before this." He couldn't get a read on her right now, which troubled him slightly. She just stared at him, openmouthed. Justin heard himself talking and realized he was babbling, which brought the blush back. "I found one in that Carcross store. It's like men all over the country said, ‘Oh shit, it's the apocalypse. I might not be able to get refills for my Gillette Mach3, so I'd better stock up.' "

Carly chuckled weakly, still staring.

He patted his cheeks and throat, checking for blood. Did he really look strange to her without the beard? "What?"

"N-nothing." Carly turned and walked back toward the camp.

Doomed.

Justin was no longer the scruffy Biker Guy who had lurked outside Carly's apartment building. He was still the same tall, muscular man, but shaving had transformed him.

Carly kept stealing glances at him as he cooked dinner. For the first time, she noticed his high cheekbones. His nose had been broken and had a crooked bump at the top, but it somehow only enhanced the rest of his features. He looked... strong, especially since his angular jaw wasn't hidden under all that hair, and she discovered he had the cutest dimple in the center of his chin. Carly couldn't resist peeking at him again.

She wondered where he'd gotten the numerous scars he had all over his body before she blushed when she remembered how much of that body she had seen. From his wide shoulders down to his knees, his body was covered in scars. Some were smooth and thin, and others were jagged and twisted, like a wound left to heal on its own without the benefit of stitches.

Carly stole another glance at him and then forced herself to look away. Being attracted to him would only end badly, she told herself, because despite his lighthearted flirting, she was pretty sure he wasn't interested in her that way. If she had to guess, she would say Justin saw her in the same light as if she were someone else's pet he was taking care of while they were on vacation. That is, a somewhat annoying, sometimes vaguely amusing pain in the ass he'd be grateful to offload at the first chance he got. Carly wasn't even sure he really saw her as an adult, or as a woman, and not a silly little girl he had to take care of. And every time Carly did something stupid, like fall off her bike or stumble into danger, and he had to rescue her yet again, it made it worse.

At least Carly had proved tonight she was able to start a fire. Justin had been full of praise when he returned to the camp and saw it burning brightly, the flames dancing high and strong above the pyramid of logs. They had to let it die down a bit before he could cook, so they both settled down to rest and relax. Carly took her book from her pack and saw Justin had done the same.

At some point, Carly looked up from her book to see Justin struggling with his own. He closed one eye. He tried bringing the book closer and then holding it out further away. Carly watched his eyes drift over the page. He blinked hard then tried to focus again.

Carly got up and went over to her pack. She was hesitant knowing Justin didn't like to talk about his dyslexia. When she'd seen these in one of the stores they'd visited a while back, she had grabbed this item, wondering how she might approach it and if it might work for him.

Carly walked over to where he lounged with his back against a tree. Justin glanced up at her. "Hey, what's up?"

She gnawed on the inside of her cheek. "I wanted to see if you felt like trying something."

"Trying what?"

Carly held up the report cover. It was light blue, transparent plastic. "My mom used to volunteer to help tutor kids in summer school. This was one of the tricks they used to help the dyslexic kids with reading. If you're willing to try it, we'll start with the blue one because blue was the color that worked for most of the kids."

Justin arched both brows in skepticism. "I never heard that."

"It's worth a try, right? We can just throw it away if it doesn't work."

He took the report cover from her and opened it. He laid the top layer over his book and held it up again to read. He was silent for a long moment, and then he looked up at Carly in astonishment. "It really does help. It's not perfect, but this is amazing, Carly. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Carly grinned and barely restrained herself from skipping as she went back over to her own spot on the other side of camp. She lay down on the sleeping bag on her stomach and propped the book she was reading on the pillow in front of her. Her legs were bent up behind her, ankles crossed in the air. She didn't know Justin was watching her until she looked up. His expression was strange, indecipherable. When he caught her eye, he quickly looked back down at his plastic-covered page, a small frown on his lips. She thought she detected a hint of a blush and wondered why.

God, she hoped she hadn't offended him in some way. People could be really sensitive about that sort of thing.

Later, as Justin cooked, that small frown returned. Carly couldn't contain her curiosity any more. "What are you thinking?" she asked.

"Nothing important."

"You seem to be concentrating on nothing rather intently."

"I'm sorry, Carly. I just have... some things on my mind. Don't let it worry you, all right? And thanks for the plastic idea. It really helped me."

"You're welcome." Maybe that was what was bothering him. Who knew? She could never figure out men's thinking patterns.

After dinner, Carly took their dishes down to the beach to wash them, and she sat there afterward, looking out over the water at the mountains. She was leaving behind everything she knew and trying to shape herself into the kind of person this new world required. Struggling to adapt, just like in evolution, to develop the traits she needed to survive. Then, maybe, Justin wouldn't see her as a helpless little pest. Maybe he would see her as...

Carly didn't finish the thought.

Their days soon fell into a comfortable pattern. Justin was careful not to rush them. Every day, Carly got stronger, and they were able to cover more ground. They traveled with the sun. Justin woke her each morning at dawn, and they'd have breakfast before tearing down the campsite and reloading the wagon. They were usually ready to start moving again by the time the sun broke over the horizon. When it began to set in the evening, they would stop and set up the camp again.

Justin showed her how to purify water, using bleach or iodine, and then how to make various distilling devices, and how to capture water from the earth itself through evaporation if she couldn't find a creek. He showed her how to make a snare to trap game, though Sam brought them a rabbit or squirrel almost every night. Sam appeared to be proud he was feeding his "pack."

Justin seemed to enjoy teaching her survival skills and Carly worked very hard to remember it all. She needed him to know she wasn't dumb; she just had never learned these things. Once she learned them, she would be just as capable as he was.

While they traveled along, they chatted companionably. They discovered they both had a taste for British comedy, and Justin declared she was the sole woman under forty he knew who liked Monty Python. That led to both singing the songs from the movies and television shows, and Carly discovered his singing voice really was as off-key as it had been when he sang Come Sail Away while he washed their clothes. He seemed to know every single love ballad from the 1980s, and to hear him belting out Total Eclipse of the Heart in his awful voice made Carly laugh until tears streamed from her eyes.

Whenever they passed a house, Justin would go in to scavenge, replacing the supplies they'd used. His goal was to have enough for them to survive for at least six months if they were trapped somewhere, unable to move on or replace what they used. Carly knew he was thinking of winter. It was unlikely they'd make it to the South before the snows came.

If the house was empty, they would sometimes stay the night, but Carly was always a little uncomfortable about it. She looked at family photos, clothes left behind in closets, toys scattered in small bedrooms, the artifacts of the prior owners' lives, and felt like she was violating a shrine left to them. This would be their only mark left on earth. The sole memorial to their lives since no tombstone would ever be erected to mark the place where they lay.

Justin didn't seem to be troubled by the same thoughts, which became quite obvious when she found him tearing up a white silk wedding dress one evening.

At her cry of horror, he stopped. "What?"

"Why are you doing that?"

"Making bandages."

"Out of silk?"

"If the wound doesn't need absorbent padding, silk bandages are gentler. They were working on modified spider silk bandages when I was in the service. It promotes healing, because of the proteins in the silk. I'll boil them and then store them in an airtight container."

Carly was quiet for a moment. "You're ripping up someone's dreams."

Justin stopped. "Carly, they're gone. They don't care."

"It just doesn't seem right. If I think of someone tearing up my mom's wedding dress, I—" Carly stopped suddenly. Tears filled her eyes, not at the thought of the dress being destroyed, but at the realization she'd never be able to wear it when she got married as she'd always dreamed.

"What would your mom think?" Justin asked. He laid aside the cloth and took Carly's hand in his own. "If her dress could help someone survive, wouldn't she want them to use it?"

She knew she was being overly sentimental, and she tried hard to keep the emotion from her voice as she answered him. "Yes, she would want them to use it." She gave his hand a squeeze.

"Because it's people who matter, Carly, not things." Justin gestured with his other hand, indicating the items in the room. "All of this is nothing compared to life. When I die, I hope someone finds my things and is able to use them. Hell, they can hollow out my body and use it as a canoe for all I care."

Carly sat down beside him. She picked up one of the large sections of the dress, and began to help him rip it into strips.

"Were you ever in love?" Carly asked that question one afternoon as they coasted down a slight incline. Justin was throwing a tennis ball for Sam, who galloped ahead to catch it and then trotted up beside Justin to drop it into his hand. She was amazed at how fast Sam was. He could sometimes catch it on the second bounce, leaping high into the air with a graceful twist.

Justin cast a quick glance at her—one she couldn't interpret—before he answered. "No, I never was. Thought I was once, but that was when I was very young, and very hormonal."

"So, it was just physical?"

"Just a crush," Justin said and didn't add any more detail to it.

"Did you—"

"Oh, shit." Justin coasted his bike to a stop.

"What? What is it?"

"Look," Justin pointed ahead. Carly followed his gaze to the river ahead, though she still didn't see the problem. She parked beside him and then was able to see from his angle.

"Oh, shit," Carly whispered, her voice faint. Up ahead, the bridge across the river was broken about half way down the span. The opposite bank was torn away, eroded back at least twenty feet by the river, which had decided to change course and eat away at the embankment until the end of the bridge fell away from lack of support.

"Is there another crossing nearby?"

Justin was already fishing around in his pack for the map. He unfolded it on top of the tarp over the canned goods and scanned it.

"Fuck!" He traced the route they would have to take and then looked at the river and then at Carly speculatively. "How well can you swim?"

"I can do laps in a pool, but I've never tried to swim across a river."

Justin rubbed his chin. She could almost see the gears turning in his mind.

"I don't think it's a good idea, Justin. We don't know how strong the current is."

He nodded to acknowledge Carly's words but continued his thinking, staring at the river as though he was trying to gauge their chances.

"They always tell you not to drive your car through a flood, let alone try to swim it."

"It's not flooding right now. See the marks on that bank over there? The river is at its normal stage."

How the hell he could tell by striations on a bank, she had no idea.

"It's either swim or backtrack over three hundred miles, Carly. We're going about ten miles an hour now, so that's thirty hours of riding. That's at least four days at our current pace and another four to get us back to where we are now. Eight days of progress lost."

"How would we get the wagon over?"

"The tarps are waterproof. We can run a tarp beneath and bind up the sides, and it just might have enough displacement to make it float. I'll attach a rope, swim to the other side and then haul it across, and just hope like hell the bastard doesn't sink. Even if it does, the meds and everything fragile are stored in those waterproof plastic tubs. I'll tie everything down well, so even if it does get wet, it won't float out and get lost."

"I still think this is a bad idea," Carly said. "What about Shadowfax and Sam?"

"Both of them can swim."

"I know, but what if they don't want to cross the river?"

Justin's voice was soothing. "Honey, they'll be fine. I'll swim back across to get them if need be, okay?"

Carly helped Justin prepare the wagon, passing one tarp beneath to tie up around the sides and then using the second to tie over the top to keep the things inside from floating away if the wagon did sink.

Carly didn't have a swimsuit, but she knew how heavy clothing could get when it was wet and didn't want to be weighed down. Justin looked away as she stripped down to her sports bra and boy shorts underpants. Carly didn't know why. She was more covered in that than when she wore the bikini she used to have.

Justin stripped off his jeans and shirt before he put their clothes into one of the plastic tubs. Carly sneaked a peek. She had never realized how cut he was. Not vanity muscles built up in a gym but lean, wiry muscles from hard work. She reminded herself to ask him the meaning of the symbol tattooed on his chest over his heart, which looked like a series of letters, twined together. Three jagged lines of lightning wound around his upper arm. It looked like the lightning bolt from his Unit tattoo, but she couldn't be sure without staring.

Justin paused at the bank. "Wait here for me. I'm going to swim to the other side and tie off a rope and then come back."

"Justin, this really scares me." Carly couldn't call for help if he was swept away or sucked under by the current.

"I'll be fine." Justin came over to stand in front of her. "Trust me, Carly."

"I do... It's just..."

"I know, but I wouldn't do it if I didn't think it was safe. If I thought there was any danger, we'd make that four-day trek to the other bridge."

Carly nodded, but her brow was crinkled with worry. Justin gazed down at her for a moment and then planted a swift kiss on her forehead. Carly felt her heart hammer in response, and she wondered how he would react if she hugged him, but she lost her courage. "I'll be right back."

Justin waded out into the river until it was up to his chest and then began to swim. He went with the current, swimming at an angle toward the shore. She held her breath until he emerged on the other side. His boxers hung low on his hips and were glued to his flesh. Is it wrong to admire his ass right now? Right or wrong, she enjoyed a nice, long stare.

Justin tied the rope to the tree with a complicated knot and then headed back into the water. He swam back quickly and surged up out of the water onto the bank. "See? Nothing to it."

"I see all right," Carly said, her tone full of awe. She gaped at him.

"What?"

"Um..."

"Jesus, Carly, what is it?" He spun around to make sure there wasn't something behind him that would justify her reaction and the look of impressed astonishment on her face.

"You... Maybe the current was a little faster than you thought."

He followed the direction of her gaze and discovered he had lost his boxers. He snickered. She giggled. They both burst into laughter, and Justin flushed a little. Still shaking his head at the absurdity, Justin untied a flap of the wagon and fished out another pair of shorts. This time it was in a boxer-briefs style, which would hopefully stay on.

Carly was glad for the laughter. It made her a little more relaxed when she approached the water. Justin tied the rope around her waist.

"That's for the wagon," she said. Though it would make her feel a little safer, she couldn't help but be a bit embarrassed by the tether. She felt like a kindergartener's mittens, attached to a string so they couldn't get lost.

Justin shook his head. "It's more important you feel safe. You can't get washed away or dragged under because I'll pull you right out."

Carly nodded. The mud squished between her toes and made her grimace. She waded into the water up to her thighs, and Justin stayed right beside her. Sam gave a small whine and looked at Carly as if to say, "Are you serious?"

"Come on, Sam," Carly coaxed, and they all plunged into the water at the same time.

The current was gentle, the water icy cold. They swam at an angle as Justin had before. They landed a bit downstream from where Justin had the first time he crossed, but Carly encountered no problems. She let out a sigh of relief when her feet felt the mud of the shoreline. She walked up to the grass and sat down. Her legs were wobbly.

"I'm going back to get the wagon and Shadowfax." Justin crouched down beside Carly. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just cold," she said, to explain her shivers. Stupid adrenaline. It always made her want to cry when the situation was over.

She watched Justin as he took hold of Shadowfax's halter and coaxed her toward the water. Carly wondered if Shadowfax had ever swum before. The mare hesitated just for a brief moment before plunging in. Her tail streamed behind her as she swiftly swam across the river and headed for Carly. She churned up out of the water and trotted across the bank to bump Carly with her nose. Carly stroked her jaw. "Good horse. I'm glad you weren't scared."

Justin swam back to the other side and tied another of those elaborate knots to the axle of the wagon. He plunged back into the river as though it were the city pool and swam to the other side—the fifth time he had crossed. Once on shore, he began to haul at the rope, pulling hard and fast. The wagon plunged into the water, and Carly held her breath. The front surged back up, and Justin pulled even faster, essentially skimming the wagon across the river's surface. They both sighed with relief when he pulled it up onto the shore.

"Nothin' to it," Justin said cheerfully. "Here, let's get you into a towel." He untied the tarps and opened one of the plastic bins.

She dried herself quickly and pulled on some dry clothes while Justin dressed on the other side of the wagon. They both laughed as Sam strolled between them and shook vigorously, announcing his displeasure at having to swim with an indignant huff.

They mounted their bikes and set off down the road again. Shadowfax loped beside Carly, flicking her tail as though to help it dry quicker.

"Do you think Shadowfax is getting fat?" Carly asked.

Justin gave a small snort of laughter. "No. She looks the same to me. Why?"

"I don't know. She just looks bigger to me."

"I haven't noticed any changes, but I'll watch her more closely if you're concerned."

Carly shook her head. "No, I'm probably just imagining things."

That night, Justin showed her their progress again. They were inching their way down Justin's map. Every evening, he marked off their advancement with a highlighter. It was sort of humbling to see how little they moved each day, but Justin seemed pleased with their progress. He no longer spoke of reaching Florida before winter. He hoped to get into the Midwest somewhere. He mentioned a farm, someplace they could hole up for the winter.

Carly still felt a little guilty about it. Without Carly and her menagerie, she had no doubt Justin would have traveled much faster. He might have used one of the vehicles they found along the road. Surely not all of the vehicles were dead, though many of them had open doors, which could indicate a drained battery. Justin never tried to start any of them, though a beautiful, shiny Rolls parked by the road once made him moan as he stroked the hood. That car had contained a bounty of supplies in the trunk, and Justin had been cheerful all day as a result.

Justin was a pleasant companion, and her attraction to him seemed to increase every day. She caught herself staring a bit when he wasn't paying attention. In their other lives, they probably never would have met. Carly would have been afraid of him, as she had been when he was Biker Guy, and he would have dismissed Carly as a silly little ditz. It went to show one could not judge a book by its cover.

When Justin laughed or gave that wicked, teasing grin, the skin around his dark eyes crinkled. Carly's mother had once said those lines appeared on people who laughed often and knew how to find joy in life. Carly wasn't sure if Justin was a joyful person, but he had a good sense of humor. And good grief, a man who knew every single line in Airplane! and could sing all of the songs from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, albeit badly, was someone who was bound to be fun.

That was not to say Justin didn't have a brooding side. On occasion, Carly would find him staring into space, a dark and distant expression taking him into memories he wouldn't discuss with her. There were moments when he was terse and cold, but she found she could often draw him out of those moods with humor and compassion. There was no doubt he'd gone through some very rough times, but he seemed determined not to let them hold him prisoner. It was yet another reason to admire him, as if she needed more.

I might be in trouble, here.