Twenty-Five

I run after Highgate as we silently slip through puddles of moonlight, his figure a thin shadowy silhouette against the imposing stone walls of the rear of the palace. Tears streak my cheeks, and I can’t tell if they’re from the biting wind or the despair that no matter where I go, I can’t keep my life from falling apart.

We reach a dimly lit doorway where a lone guard stands watch. Without a word, Highgate pulls out a small sack from his cloak. The guard peers around Highgate and eyes me suspiciously before holding out his meaty hand. The pouch lands in his palm with a jingle. He opens it and takes out a single gold coin. He bites it between his yellowing teeth and, with a grunt of approval, drops the coin and the sack into his pocket.

Highgate turns to me, the hood of his cloak shading his eyes and nose like Batman. “This is where I leave you, Lady Ashwood. And be warned, you don’t have much time. Four wants you in this dungeon too.”

“Thanks,” I say. “You’re a complete ass, but I appreciate this.”

His lips thin, and he disappears into the shadows along the perimeter of the palace.

The guard steps forward and opens the heavy iron door leading to the dungeons. The metal groans on its hinges, echoing through the stone corridor beyond. A shiver runs down my spine as I step inside, the air growing noticeably colder, the flickering torchlight casting eerie shadows on the walls.

The door slams shut behind me, and I stiffen as the guard brushes past, motioning for me to follow. His torch lights the way as we descend deeper into the bowels of the palace.

The smell hits me first—damp, mold, and the sour stench of unwashed bodies—and my stomach churns. Water beads along the walls, and my breath comes out in white clouds, the cold pressing into me.

Men in cells line either side of the wide corridor, shadowy figures that move and mutter in the dark. I stiffen at their disjointed low grumbles and wrap my hands around my middle at the piercing shouts and jangle of chains. A prisoner lunges at the bars as we pass. He grabs my skirt, and I clamp my hand over my mouth to stifle a scream. The guard kicks the bars with the toe of his boot, the sharp clanging like a death knell.

Finally, we reach the cell at the end of the corridor. Kane sits on a rough wooden bench, his shoulders slumped, his head in his hands. My heart lurches, a physical pain that squeezes my chest, and I forget every lie he told and every bad thing that’s happened between us as I run to his cell and clutch the unforgiving bars.

“Kane.”

For a moment, all the pain and betrayal between us fades, replaced by a desperate need to reach him, to touch him, to know that he’s safe.

Kane looks up slowly, his dark eyes meeting mine. Lord Ashwood’s eye patch is gone, revealing the full depth of his gaze. The flickering torchlight casts long shadows across his face, highlighting the hollow tracks of worry and exhaustion carved into his features.

“Fawn?” His voice is hoarse, like he’s been screaming, or crying, or both. He shuffles to the bars, his chains clanking with every movement. “You shouldn’t have come.” His fingers curl around mine, his grip tight.

“I had to see you. I had to say I’m sorry and make things right.”

“Make things right?” Kane shakes his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. “It’s far too late for that. With what happened…” He glances at his hands on mine and shakes his head again. “You practically presented me to Ivy and Four on a gold platter.”

“You lied to me. You had an entire plan focused around rekindling things with her,” I snap.

“That is in the past.” Kane’s expression softens, his gaze searching mine. “I didn’t—” he begins, but the words die on his lips.

“You two were engaged . You used me to get into the palace to get her back and morph into the great warrior you used to be.” The truth is cutting, and I pull my hands away, the warmth of his touch lingering even as I step back.

“I used you to save Alderic, my friend, my brother.”

“And if it worked out that you got your old fiancé back, that would just be icing on the cake,” I say, the sting of betrayal sharp and burning.

“Letting my guard down and allowing myself to ever be manipulated by Ivy was a mistake. One I regret but should not cost me my life.”

Tears well in my eyes, and I take a deep breath and blink them back. My voice is quiet, the lump in my throat making it difficult to speak. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

“Neither did I,” he says, “but I don’t regret being the one tasked with keeping you safe while on your journey in this realm.” Kane’s chains clank as he shifts. “Hannah, please. Believe me when I say that everything I did, I did with the hope of protecting you. Of fixing things within this kingdom on the edge of collapse.”

Despite the lies and deception, there’s a part of me that wants to believe him, to trust that his intentions were pure, even if his actions weren’t.

He lets out a puff of air, his breath visible in the cold. A humorless grin tugs at the corners of his mouth as his gaze sinks to the floor. “The magicks told the elders of a girl, a woman the Tower would send for, who would arrive from a different time and place when Pentacles was on the brink of devastation. Someone has to save our kingdom; ridding it of Four is not enough.” His eyes meet mine, and the darkness in his gaze brings goose bumps to my skin. “You may not believe it, Hannah, but you are that woman.”

“The elders, the Tower, they got it wrong. I mean, look around. I’ve already fucked it up.” I cross my arms over my chest, my body shaking with a mixture of anger, disbelief, and cold.

His grip on the bars tightens as he stares at me. “Now is not the time to stay here and sort out whether you believe in your destiny. You need to run, Fawn. Go home before Four decides you’re a threat.”

I throw my hands in the air. I would laugh if I weren’t afraid I would start crying instead. “I lost the Empress. I’m stuck. I can’t go home.”

Kane’s expression shifts, and he pushes himself away from the bars. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the card I’ve been searching for, its metallic pentagram glinting. It glows faintly in the dim light, casting a soft, ethereal shimmer that dances along the edges of the cell.

“I cast an alteration spell over the Empress. Command her to return you home, and she will. But only this once. If you hold the card again and command her to return you here, to Pentacles, you will be at the mercy of the Tower. I cannot cast this spell a second time, and the Tower will not allow you to return to your world until the rot within the kingdom, within the realm, is healed.”

I take the card from him, my breath quaking in my chest. Kane’s magick is stitched across the Empress in gold velvet symbols that pulse with an otherworldly light. The craggy peaks of a mountain, a lantern, a six-pointed star, and the weathered face of an old man are the same symbols that were on his trunk back in the cabin, what feels like a lifetime ago.

“You’ve had this the whole time?” My voice is barely more than a whisper, suspicion and fury warring for attention.

He nods and drops his gaze.

“I almost died. I—I risked my life to come to this palace, to find something you had all along.” Anger wins, and hot tears blur my vision, spilling down my cheeks. “I thought I loved you. But every single thing was a lie.”

“No!” Kane slams his fists against the bars, the metal rattling under the force of his blow. “My feelings for you, what we have, that is not a lie. Every moment we shared, every touch, every word, it was all real. You make me want to be better, to fight harder, to do everything I can to protect this kingdom, protect us. Hannah, I—”

“Don’t say it. Don’t say it because I said it. Don’t say it because you’re locked in there and I’m out here. Don’t say it because you got caught in a lie.” My voice shakes. “I won’t believe you. I can’t. I can’t believe anything you say.”

“It’s the truth!” he thunders, his voice echoing through the cold stone corridor. “Believe me or don’t. It no longer matters.”

I force a wry grin and wipe my tears with the back of my hand. “On that, we agree.”

With a final shuddering breath, I turn away from Kane.

“I will miss you, Little Fawn,” he says softly, his words falling against my back.

I stop, my chest squeezing at the familiar nickname. But I don’t look at him. My heart is shattered, the pieces too sharp to handle.

I motion for the guard and trail him down the dank, cold corridor. I clench the card in my hand, its magick symbols pulsing rhythmically against my palm, a faint steady heartbeat in the silence.

The guard opens the door, and I walk out into the alley. The door creaks closed behind me. Once again, I’m outside the palace, in the dark, by myself.

“Back where I started.”

As if answering my mutterings, the sky quakes, and lightning splits the air, unleashing a deluge that soaks me to the skin.

“Fuck off!” My voice cracks, swallowed by low rumbles of thunder. I don’t know who I hate more—myself or Kane. Either way, I’m getting out of here.

Rain streams down my face, mingling with the tears I no longer hold back, and plasters my dress to my body. I shiver, cold needling through my arms as I hold the card out in front of me. The ancient symbols Kane wove into the tarot card’s magick pulse—the Empress alive and listening.

“Take me—”

My heart squeezes, and I bite the tip of my tongue to keep the words at bay. There’s nothing left for me here, but a part of me still wants to stay, to hope.

How many times can I let this happen? How many times will I repeat this same sad pattern? I’m stuck in the lowest part of a movie, when everything sucks and there’s absolutely no hope. Unlike the movies, tomorrow won’t bring a new day, a new opportunity, a fresh start on my way to a happily ever after. All I’ll get is more shit.

“I can’t keep living my life like this. I won’t.” And, this time, I mean it.

I clutch the card between my thumb and forefinger. Energy pops along my skin like bubbles on champagne. The symbols glow brighter, and I squint, locking eyes with the woman on the card. She seems different now, bolder, more intense. Or maybe it’s just me.

“Take me home,” I command.

The world around me tilts and swirls. I take one last look at the palace. Then, with a rush of wind and light, it’s gone.