Twenty

As the last of the children scamper off, small arms overloaded with food, a townsperson approaches and offers a small curtsy. I stiffen, aware that in the wrong hands, recognition could get us killed.

Marion stretches out her arms and envelops the young woman in a hug. “Clara, how are you? How is your sister?”

“She had the baby not two days ago, Lady Marion. A healthy little girl,” she reports, pride swelling in her chest.

“A baby girl!” Marion lifts onto her toes. “May I visit? I don’t want to intrude.”

“Of course, Lady Marion. She would love to see you.”

Eyes lit with joy, Marion turns to me. “Hannah, I’m going to see the new baby! I won’t be long, and you’ll be safe with Ashwood.” She glances over at Kane, who’s busy tightening the straps of Shadow’s saddlebags. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She winks before turning to follow the woman, leaving me with a fluttering heart and a stomach full of nerves.

I step out of the shadows and approach him. I’m drawn to Kane in a way I don’t quite understand and am not interested in fighting.

His back is to me, and everything in me wants to shout his name, run to him, throw myself into his arms, and wrap my body around his—to kiss him and tell him that I see him, I know him, I’m falling for him. But this isn’t the end of a holiday rom-com, and I don’t feel like much of a main character.

Instead, I walk to him on wobbly legs. My heart is a trapped bird flapping in my chest like I’m back in sixth grade and Johnny Bellows has just moved in next door.

Kane glides his palm along Shadow’s back as he rounds the mare and secures the last few buckles on the saddlebags, his brow furrowed in concentration.

“Leaving so soon, Lord Ashwood?” I call out, much braver than I feel.

He looks up, and I catch the flicker of a smile before his gaze darts around the near-empty square. “The middle of town is no place for a lady such as yourself. No matter how well disguised.”

“Afraid you’ll have to save me again?” A coy smile pulls at my lips.

“Afraid?” He runs his hand through his jet-black hair. “Never.”

Shadow knickers in agreement.

“You know, I almost like the way you play the hero.”

His brow arches, and he stares down at me. “Is that what’s keeping you here?”

I stiffen slightly, but it’s enough. I can tell he noticed by the smirk that lifts the corner of his mouth. “You know what’s keeping me here. I haven’t found my purse, the card…”

Kane takes a step closer, his presence as overwhelming as ever. “And once you do?”

“The Tower will heave a sigh of relief that I recognized its error, and the Empress will take me home. Back to my life. Away from being afraid of getting murdered because I don’t belong, and back to being afraid of getting murdered if I go for a run at night.” I shrug, hoping he sees nonchalance and not the way I have to ball my fists at my sides to keep from touching him. “I can’t wait to get back to my realm.”

“Liar.” He moves even closer, invading my space, his dark eye boring into me. “You don’t want to leave.”

I scoff and take a deep breath, buying myself time to sort through my whirling thoughts. That breath was a mistake. All I can smell is him—pine and smoke—and I’m suddenly dizzy with need.

“I know more about you than you think, Fawn.” The air between us crackles as he slides his rough hand down my arm and grabs my wrist. He pulls me against him, our bodies pressed together, my heart clamoring in my chest. “You say you want to leave? Fine. But we both know you have a job to do before you can. And, if you did leave, you would miss me.”

I tilt my chin defiantly, even as my heart races and my knees threaten to buckle. “Careful, Kane, you’re starting to sound like you want me to stay.”

His eye narrows, and his mouth opens, but there’s no witty retort or double entendre.

For a swollen second, I think he might agree with me—that he might ignore his own rule and give me his heart.

Could it be possible?

My own heart beats dizzyingly fast.

There’s a chance Kane might feel the way I do—like there’s something more between us than the physical, something real.

Calm down, Hannah. Don’t get all clingy and scare him away.

He clears his throat and glances at Shadow before returning his attention to me. “It’s simply that your former lover was wrong about you being bad in bed.”

“Lucky for me, there are plenty of men back in Chicago just as arrogant as you.” I force myself to think about them, about the array of Chads in the city far from this dangerous, captivating man.

But instead of faceless strangers, all I see is Kane, all I feel is his touch, his strength, the way his body fits against mine.

I swallow.

I don’t want to fall in love. Not with Kane. Not unless I know he could one day feel the same.

“Besides, I can’t trust anyone within this kingdom. Doesn’t that include you?”

He smirks, his lips just inches from mine. My breathing quickens, my bravado wavering as his grip tightens on my wrist. The warmth of his touch spreads through me, and my traitorous heart flutters as he leans in.

“Admit it,” he murmurs. “You don’t want to leave.”

A shiver hums down my spine, and for a moment, I forget how to breathe. His mouth brushes my earlobe, and I bite my lip, the truth teetering on the edge of my tongue. My mind screams at me to push him away, to hold on to my defenses, rebuild my armor, but my body betrays me, and I lean into his touch with a moan of surrender.

“Show me why I should stay.”

He pulls me into the run-down barn. The door closes with a creak, and we’re plunged into shadows. It takes my eyes a moment to adjust to the bands of light filtering in through the cracked roof and planks.

The barn is old, the scent of coal and earth mingling with the faint aroma of wood and leather. Dust motes float in the beams of light dancing across rusted anvils, tools, and the solid wall of Kane’s body.

“And what was last night?” His hands never leave me as he guides me farther into the dimly lit space. His touch is possessive yet tender, and I lean into him, craving more of his warmth, more of the connection that seems to bind us together despite my protests.

“A good start.”

His laugh is a rumble that brings goose bumps to my arms as he pins me to the nearest post. “If I remember correctly, Fawn,” he murmurs, his hand brushing my cheek before finding my loose braid, “it was a loud, wet finish.” He pulls my hair, and I don’t stop the begging moan that falls from my lips. “Does my good girl want another?”

I do. I want this. I want him. I want those dark eyes to look at me forever.

“Please,” I whimper.

Our mouths collide in a fierce kiss, all teeth and tongues and raw, unrestrained passion. He presses me more firmly against the post, the wood scraping my back as he pulls down the neck of my dress, exposing my breasts.

Kane’s grip tightens on my braid, and he pulls my head back. His lips trail down my neck, hot and demanding, leaving a burning path that makes my pulse pound. He sucks my nipple into the heat of his mouth. The sensation sends a jolt of pleasure straight through me, making my legs part for him instinctively.

My dress rustles as he hikes it up and dips down to hook my thigh over his arm. I press closer, a soft moan escaping me as his fingers brush the wet heat between my thighs.

“You like this, Little Fawn.” His thumb finds my swollen clit, rubbing in slow, maddening circles that make me gasp and writhe against him. “No choice but to be spread open for me.”

He slides his finger in, and I react with a sharp intake of breath, rocking my hips against his hand.

“At my mercy,” he continues, sliding another finger inside, the stretch making me moan.

My fingers fumble to unbutton his breeches, and when I finally free his thick cock, a rush of heat courses through me. His fingers slip out of me, and he releases my leg. Cupping my ass with one hand, he lifts me, and my legs wrap around him.

He impales me with his cock, and I let out a wild cry, arching my back against the wood.

“But you like being tied up more.” He takes both of my wrists in one strong hand. With a jerk, he pins them over my head against the rough wood.

“Yes,” I whimper.

“You like being my good little girl,” he rasps, plowing into me, the rough wood biting my back.

“Yes,” I gasp, barely able to find the word.

My world narrows to the feel of him inside me, the heat of his body pressed against mine, the commanding intensity of his voice. He thrusts deeper, powerful and unrelenting. I’m teetering on the edge, every nerve in my body sizzling with pleasure.

“You’re mine,” he whispers against my mouth.

“Yes.” I arch against him, my body hurtling toward release. “I’m yours.” My body convulses around his, waves of ecstasy crashing over me as I surrender.

Kane doesn’t let up. My wrists are still pinned above my head, my legs spread wide around him. His thrusts grow more urgent, more frantic, and I feel the heat of his climax as he spills into me.

Kane releases my wrists, brushing his fingers lightly against my skin before he kisses my chest and gently re-covers my breasts with my dress. My breath comes in ragged gasps, my body trembling as the high fades, replaced by a profound realization: I don’t want to leave Towerfall. I don’t want to leave him.

“Kane,” I start, vulnerability making my voice wobble, “what if you were right? What if I wanted to stay?”

He lowers me to my feet, his hands steadying me as I adjust my clothing. Although his touch is warm and reassuring, there’s a guarded look on his face that washes over me like ice. It’s subtle, but it’s there—a slight tightening of his jaw, the way his gaze doesn’t quite meet mine as it usually does. My stomach knots with the sudden, painful understanding that something has shifted between us.

Panic creeps in, twisting my thoughts.

He’s pulling away, Hannah. He knows you’re desperate and needy. You should have kept your thoughts to yourself.

No matter what my inner critic believes, I can’t leave it like this—silent and awkward.

“We should talk,” I blurt.

“Yes.” He continues to avert his gaze from mine and looks down at his feet. “There’s something I must tell you.”

I open my mouth to tell him I wasn’t serious, to tell him any one of a hundred lies that will undo the past few minutes and take us back to where we were, but before I can, a distant voice cuts through the stillness of the barn.

“Hannah, it’s time to go!” Marion calls from outside.

Kane stiffens, and his expression flickers with a hint of something I can’t quite place. “We’ll talk in our rooms. After we meet with the queen.”

A sinking feeling settles in my stomach. It’s hard to shake the sense that I’ve ruined things, that the wavering edge to my voice and my eagerness to talk have scared him off.

I’ve been here before, opening up just to have the person pull away. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. Kane was desperate for me a moment ago, and now he’s distant and closed. I knew feelings were off the table from the beginning, and I caught them anyway. My biggest mistake was thinking it was possible he could feel the same for me.

Even though he doesn’t, I can’t go on pretending our relationship is just about convenience and sex. My heart can’t take it.

“Yeah, sounds good.” I stare up at him, waiting for a kiss, a hug, handshake—something to bridge the gap I feel growing between us—but Kane won’t meet my gaze. “I’ll, uh, I’ll see you back at the palace.”

I hesitate for a moment, but the silence between us only grows, the weight of this unspoken thing between us like a physical ache. I suck in a breath and stare up at him, my eyes silently pleading for a response. “Kane—”

“Go.”

His rejection is a sharp pain that takes my breath away. My heart constricts and tears well up, threatening to spill over.

I get it. It’s not that Kane can’t give me his heart—it’s that he won’t.

I’m a passing amusement, something to do while he plays the hero and rescues the kingdom.

It was cute, Hannah, thinking you had a chance with him.

Swallowing hard, I nod and rush out of the barn toward Marion.

“I’m here, Marion!” I call out, my voice shaking.

“Oh, good! I hope I gave you enough time.” She smiles, taking in my flushed cheeks and disheveled hair. I must have become a very good actress, because there’s not a hint of concern on Marion’s face. “We must be getting back before Highgate becomes restless and thinks it a good idea to search for me.”

As we walk back to the palace, my mind remains with Kane and the heart I made the mistake of leaving behind.

I struggle to hold myself together, to keep from sinking onto the dirty cobblestones in a puddle of tears. What I had with Kane wasn’t perfect, but it was something. He is gorgeous, and it was earth-shattering, and I felt like magick when I was with him.

The ache in my chest grows, and I bite my lip to keep from crying.

I should have known better than to think something real could come out of what he’d called a bit of fun .

But, like every good thing in my life, I had to get in my own way.