Chapter 13

13

T he butler's words were like a great, shadowy beast that settled its weight on his shoulders, and Roland turned on his heel to go back into his study. Privacy. Discretion. What terrible things had been happening in Northumberland because of the fear of telling the truth?

Grace must have dismissed Withers. He did not hear the man depart, or Grace as she approached him. But he felt her hands upon him as he was guided to his chair, and a glass of brandy pressed into his hand.

He reminded himself that this was not, after all, more than they were beginning to suspect at any rate. But what had before simply been a disturbing spectre had now been given strength and body.

Looking at the glass of brandy, he set it aside on one of the tables, dropping his head into his hands as his mind began to deal with the many implications.

“Are you all right?” his wife asked him softly.

“I am fine,” he said, and laughed shortly. “I do not know why this was such a surprise, to find our worst fears about the duke coming true.”

“That is because you hoped it would not be.” She knelt by his side, brushing her hand over the side of his face.

He was still vexed with her for keeping secrets. He caught her hand in his and held it, searching her face with his piercing eyes. “How much did you suspect about the duke’s state of mind? I need the truth from my wife, Grace.”

Grace did not shrink away. “Withers was correct. I had no real sense anything was wrong until I took him to the library and he called me Hannah,” she said. “I had only a vague notion to look into it more deeply, which I confess, I did not have much chance to do because I was feeling sorry for myself.”

“Because we argued,” he commented. And she nodded slightly.

“That would be a rather large part of it, yes.”

Finally, she was being more forthcoming, which was both more in character and a mighty relief. He did not want to be dealing with these obstacles, thinking she might withhold something he needed to know. He relaxed his grip on her hand, pressing it to his cheek. Taking comfort in it.

“Did you hear all of the conversation with Mr Harding after all, then?”

“Of course,” Grace said tartly. “I set a glass upon the wall to listen.”

Roland snorted in amusement. “ That sounds more like my Grace.”

“Before you give me too much credit,” Grace added, “it was not something that I really needed to. You had raised your voice quite a bit.”

“Well, it seems you had the right of things. The duke is unwell. If my grandfather had set my father, of all people, to handle some of the duties, then he must have been concerned about his health for some time. This, atop the news that children are being kidnapped from their beds and villages are crumbling from neglect. This visit to Northumberland has been one nightmarish revelation after another.”

“Might I remind you, he travelled to Brighton and concealed the indications of his illness from everyone as well as he did. Had he been anyone else, we might have suspected he was ailing sooner. His sheer perversity kept everyone at such a distance it was hard to see. But the very fact he was able to muster that perversity in character… he is not necessarily at death’s doorstep, but the duke is an old man, Roland,” she said kindly. “It is somewhat understandable that neither one of us anticipated the need to step in.”

“Or perhaps I was willfully blind. I was so desperate to avoid letting the duke get a hold on Thorne and me that I did not see what was there to be deduced simply by being present. Not sooner with the ill-advised passing of monetary duties to my father, or later when I was living in the same house with him this summer.

“I plan to check the books to make sure, but I would not be surprised in the least to discover that Thaddius had been shorting the bailiff of necessary monies to fund his vices. What I saw in Lesbury and some of the farms…” Roland swallowed his ire. “I should have noticed sooner. It was there, plain as day. I could not see the forest for the trees.”

“You have had a few other things to occupy your mind, my love.”

Roland looked away, guiltily. “I am the heir to the Duke of Northumberland. I need to recall that fact. The tenants’ well being is part of that duty, and it should not be superseded entirely by my marriage.”

“I do not think it is something you have forgotten,” Grace murmured wryly. “As I recall, you were most incensed by the idea of someone stealing children from their families. Your speech was most stirring. And quite possessive.”

It had been, at that. His lip curled faintly, before smoothing out.

“You may find that the duke will require more assistance, but Elsie reminded me that we do not need to bear our burdens of the role alone. We can command the additional help we need for endeavours without risking yourself. Roofs can be rebuilt, and searchers conscripted. I can even help you with the books, if you like. We will sort out Northumberland.”

He glanced sideways at her, at the challenge in her voice. “You think you can help with the books, do you?”

“Lord Percy,” she mocked. “Do you think I cannot add and subtract?”

“Well, you are a mere woman,” he replied jestingly, pulling her into his lap and winding his arms around her waist. “I have been told that women’s heads are not built for the strain of such things.” She looked down her nose at him, and grinning, he pressed a brief kiss to her lips. “I am sorry for how we left things last night.”

“I am too,” she said quietly. “Although I suppose we are both stubborn people, so it will not likely be the last time we bicker. Perhaps we should promise not to go to bed angry with one another.”

“That would be wise. And Thorne reminded me that everyone was entitled to keep some worries in their private thoughts. I will respect your wishes, if that is how you feel about it, as long as you promise me that you would never keep such a worry to yourself simply because you do not want to trouble me. There is no issue so trivial I would not wish to know it. No burden I would not shoulder, happily, if I knew it eased your mind.”

Grace stilled, one hand on his chest, as she studied him. Roland let her look, let her see the truth of it upon his face.

“Speaking of worries, however,” he continued, his chin dropping as he looked off into the distance, thinking. “I must confess, I believe you when you say we will manage to set this dukedom to rights, but… it will take some time. You wanted adventure, and I will happily grant you that journey. However, it would be selfish of me to demand I must experience it with you. If Withers is correct, and the duke’s mind is failing, I must be prepared to shoulder his responsibilities sooner than his death.”

“It is all right. I know,” Grace said softly, her breath catching. “You would not be happy if you felt you were derelict in your duty. And I would not be able to bear suggesting it to you.”

“While I attend to the needful, what will you, my lady? If you still desire to travel, I can send you to Portugal after all, with an escort.”

“I would rather wait to go with you,” Grace told him, poking him in the chest gently with one finger, and he smiled. “We will have years to travel, after things are settled. But, Roland…”

“But, country living is tedious, Grace, and this castle is rather dreary. Did you not say that Charity would be in London this year? We can send you back to the townhouse for the season. I can likely have things well underway and join you as people prepare to leave for Brighton. Surely I can justify a small trip to check on the southern holdings.”

“No—I cannot go to London?—”

“What?” he interrupted, ignoring Grace’s look of exasperation. “Whyever not?”

“If you will simply let me get a word in, my lord,” she said caustically, putting her hands on her hips, “I am prepared to tell you why.”

Or so she claimed. Roland stilled, mystified at Grace’s reaction, because even though now he gave her the space to speak her thoughts, she was clearly tongue-tied, and there was a long silence.

Finally, she said, “By the time the roads are passable, I would have to stay here with you anyway.” She picked up his hand and laid it against her belly, to explain all the words she could not seem to find.

“You—” he sucked in a breath, his mind a perfect blank as his thoughts struggled to cope with this new information. “How?”

Grace laughed somewhat bitterly. “Believe me, husband, I spent a good many weeks asking myself the same question. I believe we both know the answer.”

Stunned, Roland let his fingers press more firmly against her, finding the barest curve beginning beneath his hand. Grace was carrying his child? And clearly, for some time, too. Had he somehow been so thick headed that he missed all the signs?

“I had no sickness in the mornings,” she added. Apparently the trajectory of his thoughts were clear. “Just fatigue. I let you believe that I closed the door to you during my courses. I am so sorry, Roland. For the longest time, the signs were so vague, and I was uncertain. And then I could not bring myself to dash your hopes for leaving Alnwick as soon as we were able. After that, I did not want to add to the list of things that you would be worried about. I kept hinting… hoping there would be a time the news would be welcome instead of another burden.”

“Oh, Grace,” he sighed, letting his hands slide around her again. He pulled her close to him, letting some of the worries he had been holding slip away as new ones jockeyed for attention.

“Are you angry with me? I know you wished to wait,” she asked softly.

“No, dearest,” he murmured, pressing their cheeks together, his gaze travelling down what he could see of the length of her body. He wondered how they would reckon with this newest development. How soon she would begin to show. Whether the duke would live to see his great grandson. Somehow, they would see it through. “I am a muddle of surprise and relief. And joy. Annoyance, too, because I am wondering how I managed to be so blind that I somehow missed… this .”

His emphasis was so pointed, Grace looked to see what had caught his notice, and realised that in this position, he had a clear view of her neckline and chest. Her belly was not the only thing that had been beginning to swell against the hems of her clothing.

Grace’s face flushed.