3. Dane

Dane

I grip the steering wheel with one hand and glance at Rafael. He stares out the window like there's nothing else more interesting. My jaw clenches, and I shift in my seat. I make an angry sound. He still doesn't look over.

"Are we going to keep letting them run us off?"

"We don't live here, Dane. If we want help, we have to play by their rules, and our intrusion on whatever was going on tonight wasn't welcome."

I can't believe that I'm hearing this. "We are so close, and you're going to go all soft right at the finish line."

"Don't be an idiot, Dane. We aren't even nearly close, the hardest part is ahead, and we might be here, this is where it started, where we find out how it ended. We tread carefully now."

It's rare for Rafael to lose his patience with me. Rare enough that it slaps me out of my anger. I slump. "I just want it over with."

"So do I."

"I need to know what happened to him."

"I know. We'll find out."

The dirty lights of Hurricane come into sight and, with a sigh, I drive down the slight hill and into the town. The roads are cracked beyond repair, fixed a hundred times over with thick ropes of black tar that look like hundreds of snakes slithering. No building is intact. The streets, even though it's bitterly cold, are filled with the sick and homeless making their way towards a safe hole for the night.

We pass billboards with peeling pictures, shops with signs half torn down. Every storefront has bars or a roller door made of chain links. This city is one of the most depressing places I've ever been, and we've barely scratched the surface.

"Here." Rafael leans in front of me and points at a tall building. There is nothing special about it. The dumpsters out the front are overflowing, and the brick walls are a rainbow of overlapping graffiti.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, if I've followed the trail right, this is where we will find her."

I pull the car onto the side of the road and twist in my seat to look up at the building. It goes up fifteen stories. It's an absolute dump. Who would live here voluntarily?

"I feel wrong about this," I mutter.

Rafael looks away. "Me too. But it's for Terrance."

My hand clenches around the steering wheel, and then I pull away. "Yeah. For Terrance."

It used to be the three of us. We met at different stages of our lives. Three messed up, lonely kids who found each other and built a family. I owe Terrance so much. I can't let whatever happened to him just be another cold case sitting in some detective's drawer. He deserves more. I don't care what they say, there is no way that Terrance just up and walked off. He didn't meet someone and go get married. He didn't just leave. Terrance never would have left us! We were family, and that meant everything to us. No matter how hard we fought. He would have come home.

"Dane, stop."

I smile bitterly. "You aren't clairvoyant yet, Rafe."

"Fucking am so." He turns in the seat so he's facing me, a sardonic grin on his face. He looks older, but I think it's the stress. We're both running on fumes. His brown hair is spikey from him running his fingers through it, and his clothes are rumpled. There's a scar near his ear that he got back when we were happy. When I look at Rafe, I see all my failures. "It's not your fault."

I grab the handle of the car. "So, 2B?"

Rafael shakes his head slowly. "Gonna have to face all your feels one of these days, brother."

"Maybe so, but not today."

In the dark, I can feel the kind, intelligent gaze of one of my best friends as he tries and fails to drag me into another feelings talk.

"Yeah, 2B."

"Are you coming with?"

"Nah, you know I scare the women. You go and find out if we are in the right place."

Rafael looks at me, and even though I look, I can't see it. I know what the women have said to me when I ask. It's something in his eyes. He looks dangerous. But I've never seen it. Rafael is a big teddy bear. I think it's the knowledge of the world that makes his eyes look older, jaded. I think it's what he's seen. His eyes look old. To me, he's just Rafe.

I open the car door and step onto the street, a quick jog, and I slip into the building. So close, I can't bear much more failure. My mouth waters thinking about getting the answers, and my hands get shaky. I can taste the excitement. This lead has taken six months to get. Six months to track down this one address.

I step onto the second floor landing and look up and down the hallway. The carpet is a disgusting, washed-out blue that is so covered in stains. The more accurate name of the colour would be closer to brown. The walls are equally filthy. I can hear people crying and screaming at each other. The sound of TVs at full volume mixes with the smell of rotting food and something that smells dead.

"How can anyone live here?"

A woman snickers and steps past me. Her long brown hair swishes down to the middle of her back, over the soft leather jacket. Knee-high boots and jeans that perfectly cup her ample arse. Soft curves everywhere that just beg to be explored. She is so out of place in this building that, at first, I think I've imagined her.

I clear my throat and jog to walk beside her. What does she look like? I need to see her face. I smile and lift my chin a bit.

"Hey." I let my voice go to that sexy bedroom drawl. "Do you live here?"

She glances at me, and I see she's wearing eyeliner that frames the most amazing eyes I've ever seen. Silver eyes. All my thoughts just pause as I stare into her eyes, and then she glances away. I let out a quiet breath and mentally slap my myself. I've never had that happen before.

"Dane Galbraith."

She sighs like I'm annoying her. "Jax Shade, and yes, I live here."

"Sorry." I feel off my game here, on the back foot. I give her my trademark smile. It does nothing. I'm stunned for the first time in my adult life. A woman isn't noticing me at all, and I really, really want this woman to notice me.

"No problem. We all hate being here. It is what it is, though."

"I'm just passing through. Hurricane has a certain…charm." I try for friendly, sidling up closer to her so our arms brush. She spins away, putting distance between us. I can't tell if it's accidental or intentional.

She gives me a slow up and down look that makes me stand to attention. "That is the kindest description I've ever heard. Want some free advice?" She doesn't wait for me to answer. "Get out before it sucks the soul out of you."

I chuckle, but she's not even paying me attention. She's looking away from me. Into the shadows down the hall.

"Unfortunately, I have some business. Maybe before the city sucks out my soul, we could meet up for a drink?" What the hell did I just ask that for? Where is my brain?

"I don't think so."

The rejection cuts deep. It shouldn't. Why am I upset she said no?

She stops in front of a door and smiles again. "This is me. Enjoy your night, Dane."

I glance up at the number, already formulating how I'm going to come back and apologise properly tomorrow.

2B.

I swallow hard, and all thoughts of getting laid in this shitty town vanish. Bile races up my throat.

"I have to ask you a question, if you don't mind." Damn, my voice sounds cold, and judging by the sharp look she gives me, she hears it, too.

She shrugs and puts the key in the door but doesn't open it.

"I'm looking for Jackie Blackwell. Do you know where I can find her?"

Her body stiffens. She turns the door handle and slips inside and starts swinging the door closed.

"Hey, wait." I put my hand on the door to stop its swing.

"Asking about people here is never a good thing, Mr Galbraith. You're either a cop or you want her for something else. I'm not stupid. And I'm not going to help you."

"I'm not a cop, and I just need to ask her some questions about a friend of ours."

"I've never met or heard of a Jackie Blackwell. Your information is wrong. I've been living here for five years." She shrugs like it's unimportant.

"But-"

"I have to go."

"Listen, just a few questions. Do you know where I can find-"

She looks over her shoulder. "Hey, babe, nah, just getting rid of him." I hear something slam in a room behind her.

Fuck. Of course, she's with someone. I step back and watch as she promptly shuts the door in my face. I stare at the peeling paint of 2B and feel my stomach turn hollow. It was our last good lead. Our last lead. It's over.

I barely remember how I got to the car. I just slip behind the wheel and lay my head on it.

"What happened?"

"I just tanked so hard. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"With the investigation, idiot," Rafael snaps irritably.

"Jax Shade says she's never heard of Jackie Blackwell, and she's been living there for five years. 2B is a bust."

Rafael opens his bag and whips out his tablet. He types away, and then grins broadly. He turns to me and smiles. I watch out of the corner of my eye, but I don't bother lifting my head. Rafe pokes me in the ribs. I snarl. He does it again. I lift my head up and push his damn hands off me.

"What?" I shout.

"We found her."

"What?"

"Jax Shade, she legally changed her name six years ago. This was buried deep, like, really deep. You need to know her new name to find the old one, but I found it."

"We found her?" I can barely believe it. That tiny, curvy little goddess was the woman we were after? It almost seems more cruel than her having a boyfriend. No, I don't want her to be Jackie. That's not right.

I groan.

"What's wrong?"

"Wait till you see her, man. She is exactly your type. I don't know how we are going to get her to help us. She's like an ice queen."

Rafael scowls. "That doesn't matter. What matters is-"

"Yeah, the investigation. I know." I cover a yawn with my hand. "Let's get back. I've got to get some sleep. The past three days, I've been living on energy drinks and sugar."

"We found her." Rafael laughs giddily and slams his fist on his leg. "I knew this wasn't a dead end."

I turn the keys in the ignition and pull away from the curb. "Let's go back to the hotel and plan because, I'm telling you, that girl is ready for this. She's been expecting it or planning for it, but she's going to fight or run."

"Then we'll be ready for both."

Rafael glances out the window and watches the city go by. I see his reflection in the window. He looks sad.

"What do you think Terrance would say?"

"He'd call us both idiots," I say dryly, instantly.

Rafael smiles softly. "Yeah, and then he'd join in and probably come up with some genius thing we hadn't thought of that makes us both feel like amateurs."

I laugh. "He would, too. Do you remember that time we tried to build the deck?"

"Oh, yeah, it would have worked, too, would have looked awesome if we had remembered that beam was rotten."

"He came home and watched us all day. Refusing to help. Finally, just before dark, that stupid beam gave out."

"He didn't say I told you so."

"It was pretty damn close enough," I growl. "Then he ordered us beer and pizza, and the next day, five contractors came out and built it for us while we watched. When I asked him why he didn't want us to build it ourselves, he said, ‘I work long hours. I'm not fucking building shit. I know my skills, and I know I'm not a builder. You're not a builder. Rafe isn't a builder. Rafe is a counsellor, you are a chef, and I take care of idiots. It's who we are and what we do. Get the right people for the right job.'" I snort. "The pricks had it done in two hours."

"He always knew how to deal with problems. Sort it all out." Rafael punches the side door. "He should've been a dad. He should've gotten a chance to get married. Terrance deserved those things. He was the best of us. Fuck."

"Hey, man, it's all right. We're going to get answers and nail whoever is behind it to the wall."

Rafael shifts his glasses and knuckles his eyes. "I know. I'm just tired. We've been chasing this girl for five years. I'm happy we found her but pissed off and sad, too."

"You want to know…but you don't."

Rafael nods. "Where is he?"

I don't answer because we've already discussed this. Only one thing would keep Terry from coming home. He's no longer among the living. It's the only reason he would have left us!

"If she had anything to do with it, I swear to…" Rafael chokes off.

He's not wrong. I'll fucking help him if it comes to that. I think of the girl with silver eyes, and I can't see her murdering Terry. But all signs lead to her. Everything leads back to Jackie Blackwell. Evidence doesn't lie.

One way or another, we are getting answers.

I pull into the hotel car park. "Let's get some beer and pizza and brainstorm a plan. Make sure everything is perfect."

Rafael climbs out of the car and stomps towards our room. I watch for a moment. Maybe it was wrong to pursue this, but Rafael was breaking. It seemed like the right idea at the time, but some days, I wish I'd never suggested it.

I throw my head back on the headrest and let the pain rise up. Terry held the family together. I'm a poor substitute. If we don't find answers soon, Rafael is going to shatter, and I'll never put him back together. He doesn't even resemble the sweet guy I grew up with. That always laughing book nerd has turned into a cold, calculating man almost as ruthless as I. How long can he survive this shit?

Me…I'll survive…that's what I do. But the beating heart inside me is dying. Soon, I'll just be another walking corpse.