11. Jax

Jax

I stumble out of the shower, pull on a pair of clean jeans and a black hoodie, and grab up my phone. I pace to the front of my apartment, pausing as my phone turns on and immediately starts filling with messages. With a huge yawn, I rub my eyes and try to focus on what I need to do. Fuck, I wished I'd had more sleep last night.

I read through the messages one by one. The stalker has left ten. I ignore all the texts inside them after scanning them quickly. Nothing but idle conversation and taunts. But there are four photos. I open each image. Two are of me in the park, close ups of my face, the torment clear to anyone who knows me. My heart pounds as I try to work out where he was standing. How close.

The next one is inside the pub with Stevie. I look cold and bitchy. No wonder she hates me. The last is me disappearing down the hallway. I haven't forgotten what happened, but I'd managed to push it into a deep, dark hole for a minute.

I open the message from River and freeze. Call me, urgently.

I put the phone to my ear and let it ring while I pick up my keys and slip out of my apartment.

"Oh, thank fuck, you finally answered," River snaps.

"What's going on, Riv?"

"You got their asses out. You saved them again, didn't you? I swear, those girls need to grow up. All this time, you've been saving them without them ever realising." River barely breaks for a pause. "Did you hear? Lisha went missing last night from the club. Some idiot found a dahlia on her car. The rumours are that he's back."

His words fade away as white noise fills my ears. I blink, and I'm suddenly closer to the floor. My chest feels so tight, my head is stabbing with pain. I unfold myself, unsure of how I got on my knees.

I reach for my phone. I must have dropped it.

"River?" My voice sounds like a little girl's, like a lost child.

"Jax, are you all right?" River asks after a pause.

"I have to go." A whisper of sound. "Who?" I clear my throat, trying to get some sound. "Who saw the calling card? Who found the flower?"

"One of Titan's goons. A man by the name of Rocks."

I know Rocks. He's solid, sensible, other than being involved in Titan's gang. He wouldn't say there was a dahlia if there wasn't. So, maybe it's a joke. Some kids' idea of a joke. Not real. False alarm.

"I have to go," I say in a calmer voice. "There's a, I have a job this morning."

"Oh, okay. Sure. Can we catch up later?"

"Yeah, this afternoon? Do early dinner?" I say absently.

"It's a date. I'll meet you at Dana's."

I hang up the phone and realise I've got another text. I open the image to see a picture of me folded over on the ground in my apartment building. This was taken seconds ago. Bile rushes up my throat, my skin prickles as fear spreads. I whip around, looking down the corridor both ways. I can't see anyone. But my skin ripples with fear. The usual sounds of the apartment building are muted. I back down the stairs, feeling my way. When I'm halfway, I whirl and race for the exit.

It's a relief to be on the street, but I watch everyone who walks past, taking note of the way they look at me or don't. Looking at their clothes, looking for weapons. In ten minutes, I'm exhausted, and the headache is reaching a new level. When Dane's car pulls up, I wrench open the back door, slide in, and sigh with relief.

It's only when he's driving down the street that I consider that I don't really know these men. The panic grips me. I can hear them talking, but I can't understand the words. Rafael turns in the seat and puts a hand on my knee. It's the lightest touch, it's a warm anchor back to the present.

The world shrinks down to his face. His light brown hair that looks like its past needing a cut suits him. Light brown eyes that turn gold when the light lands on them radiate warmth and empathy. His face is softer than Dane's. And he has a faint sprinkling of freckles. His brows lower, and his lips turn downwards.

He reaches out and moves his hand to mine. Warm and strong, it drags me back to reality. I blink, and his lips quirk upwards. The tiny smile tugs at my stomach, melting the cold away, and leaving something warm and good behind.

"You okay now, Jax?"

"Yes. Thanks."

His smile widens, and it's impossible to tear my eyes from him. I can't do this, I can't. I've done this, and it doesn't end well. With self-loathing, I clear my throat and pull my hand free of his.

He opens his mouth, but Dane interrupts. "Now that you're done melting down, any chance you want to tell us where we're going?"

"I wasn't melting down," I snarl and grind my teeth. He seemed like a nice guy when I first met him. What happened? I glare at the back of his head and try not to wish him dead.

"Of course, not. Just hyperventilating and having a panic attack in a stranger's car. That's, like, an everyday occurrence. Totally normal."

"If you're going to be a dick, you two can drop me off and hunt for Terrance on your own."

"Ha! You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"What does that mean?"

"Dane!" Rafael growls in a cold tone that makes me do a double take. I would never have guessed that sound could come out of him.

Dane grunts. "Where am I driving?" he grits out.

"Drive out to the mine," I snarl.

"Fine."

"Fine."

Rafael slumps in his seat. This is not the pretty cherry red car but a more sedate SUV. It doesn't smell new.

"You heard?"

My face tightens, and then I nod sharply.

"They're saying he's back."

"Conveniently," Dane hisses under his breath. I almost miss it, but I just catch the sound, and my body goes rigid as I realise what his problem is.

"Oh, I see. You think I'm in on this? I helped him get rid of Terrance. You blame me?" I say it mockingly, but it still cuts deep.

"You keep a hell of a lot of secrets," Dane growls and drives into the lookout and slams the car into park. He turns in the seat and leans towards me, ignoring Rafael, who tugs at him.

"Terrance told us all about this woman he met, this wonderful, amazing woman. A few weeks later, he's gone, and so are you. And then, lo-and-behold, there you are in the news. Your face splashed on every paper, every internet article, every radio and TV station, and you wouldn't talk. You never said a goddamn word. But he knew you, and you knew him. And no one cared what we said or when we reported his disappearance. He is my brOTHER, and I won't stop until I find him."

I'm pressed up against the back seat, trying to get away from Dane's rage. I knew he was angry, but there is so much bottled up, so much emotion. He's so intense. A part of me is afraid, the other half is impressed with his control. I open the car door and slip out into the bitter air.

I walk to the edge of the lookout and let my eyes trace over the remains of the mine.

"Fifty years ago, this mine was shut down when they realised asbestos was toxic. By then, it was too late. Too many people had been exposed, they started to get sick. But the only industry that could supply jobs here was a lumber company. There were too many people and not enough jobs. Too many who are now sick, stuck here with nowhere else to go. Even though they cleaned it all up, it's still here, it's still in the people who live here."

"What does this-"

I glare, and Dane subsides. Rafael stands quietly at his side.

"A lot of families grew up in this all-consuming poverty. Louis was born here. In this poverty, somewhere. The clues to who he is and how he thinks are here if we can unravel his past. That's why I came back to Hurricane."

Dane grabs me by the shoulder and spins me around. "How don't you know anything about him? You lived with him for years? You were going to marry him!"

I wrench myself free and shove him in the chest. "Keep your hands to yourself. And you want to know how I didn't know? Because he lied, constantly, easily, with no regret or remorse."

"You should have seen-"

"What, red flags? What fucking red flags should I have seen? We had a perfectly normal life, and I trusted him," I scream.

Dane blinks, and Rafael reaches for me, but I shift my arm away from him.

"How was I supposed to know that when he was going to work, he was hunting?" I ask, trying to lower my tone and failing. "How was I supposed to know that underneath the surface of the man who brought me Advil and chocolate was a man who was so evil he wasn't even human?" I shake my head, furiously dislodging the memories.

"Jackie…"

"How was I supposed to know? I thought my life was set, it was written, it wasn't perfect, but it was nearly, and it was enough for me!"

"Stop, please." Rafael reaches for me, even as Dane takes a step backwards, his face blanching.

I'm sobbing for air. No tears but so much rage.

"How was I supposed to know there was a serial killer in my bed and in my heart? Tell me, Dane, how was I supposed to know?"

He doesn't answer me, but then I don't really expect him to.