Chapter 9

Nine

So hard to breathe.

The night was bright, very unlike what the Whispering Woods used to be, and I still couldn't come to terms with it. I still stood underneath the open sky, not a single cloud in sight, and I shook my head at myself, at the stars twinkling in the darkness, but I wasn't sure whether they were mocking me.

The end of the Seven Isles was indeed upon us. I myself had seen it written in the stars.

" Why ?" I asked myself with barely any voice. "Why don't you care?"

It was the end of the world. The fucking apocalypse for the Seven Isles—and I couldn't even be bothered to think about what it would be like, how many people were going to lose their lives, what would happen to the Enchanted. No, I couldn't be bothered to think about that at all. It was as if my instincts hadn't picked up on what those words actually meant— Fall of the Seven Isles. They had no clue what was coming, and so they only fired up about Grey. Only Grey, all the time, every waking second.

Tomorrow morning, Mama Si and Reeva Lorein were going to get on a boat and sail to the Eighth Isle.

Tomorrow morning, they were going to tell Syra all about what the stars had predicted, and if she chose to go back to Witches' Wing to see it herself, I'd be on my way to Grey.

If she chose to remain on the Eighth Isle and ignore the warning or even just believe the women without needing to confirm it with her own eyes, I'd also be on my way to Grey.

Knowing that, at least, gave me some peace of mind. No matter what happened tomorrow, I would be there. Hopefully I'd see Grey, even if it was for one last time.

Then, it would be over.

The sound of those wings beating never caught me by surprise anymore. I heard it and I knew Shadow was nearby, that tiny dragon that made no sense to me more often than he did. Since the day Mama Si brought me to the Whispering Woods and he bit me, sneakily slipping under Storm's talons to do it, he was the exact same dragon. He hadn't changed. He hadn't grown in size at all, which was strange. All the other dragons had grown—even Emil's, though he was the smallest of the four.

Shadow had remained the same since he'd hatched, and he was always behind me, always watching out for me, those wings always beating in my ear.

Then I felt his energy as well.

Valentine Evernight might be the most unusual, absolutely absurd person I'd ever meet in my life, and a lifetime of studying him wasn't going to shed light on who he was. I doubted even he knew. I really doubted he understood himself any more than I understood him.

He'd lied and manipulated to get banished just so he could go to the Eighth Isle and awaken Syra. And when he did and doomed basically the entire Isles, he still came back here to this castle, and he still came close to me, knowing exactly how much I hated him with all my being. He still found me in the dead of the night when I was all alone among the trees around the castle, and he still spoke to me.

"Did you find what you were looking for, Sunshine?"

The sound of his voice made ice-cold chills rush over my skin. Goose bumps covered my arms as I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath and begged myself to not let him get to me.

It was done now, everything was done. What he said, or whether he still existed, didn't matter. All I had to do was get to Grey.

"Today, when you left on that tiny boat. Did you find what you were looking for?"

His footsteps echoed in my ears as he approached me. Shadow sat on a branch nearby and watched in silence just like always, his long, thin tail swooshing to the sides—he was definitely a cat in another life.

Valentine stopped maybe five feet behind me, and I had to constantly remind myself that it wasn't worth it. I could turn around and fight him and I could call him names, but it wouldn't be worth it. I'd just be wasting breath.

"You disgust me," was all I said, even though I knew it wouldn't hurt him.

"That's okay. I disgust me, too," Valentine said, perfectly calmly, and by the tone of his voice alone, you'd think he was asking me how my day was.

Here I thought I could wait for dawn out here in the open, where the walls of the castle didn't threaten to close in on me. Here I thought I could spend the night in peace now that I wasn't afraid of Emil or Tristian or Romin or any animal that could be wandering about the yards of the castle.

"So, what was it? What were you looking for?" he asked again, taking another step closer to me.

A bitter smile stretched my lips. "Do you even regret it?" Not that it mattered or that I was trying to make sense to this, but did he ? Because he came out here and talked to me like he hadn't fucked everything up—and not just for me but for all his people. He just…talked.

"I do," Valentine said. "I hurt you. I'll regret it for as long as I live."

I turned around just to see him, to convince myself that I wasn't making this shit up—no, he actually talked to me that way.

"You're awful, " I whispered because it really was him standing there under the moonlight, looking like a drawing, a work of art, so beautiful it made me sick to my stomach.

"I am, Sunshine." He came closer. "I'm awful. I'm worse than awful. I'm plain wrong."

And even now those words struck me. Even now they hurt me because I was a damn fool.

So, I laughed. "Yet you still have the balls to come out here and talk to me. You ruined my life, Valentine. You ruined everybody's life, yet you won't at least lock yourself up where nobody can see you and stay out of everyone's way. Why?"

My words affected him even though he kept a neutral expression. But the night was bright now in the Woods, and I saw his eyes with so much clarity, eyes I knew, eyes I'd trusted once. I saw the regret flashing in them, the hurt.

"Because you still need me," he said, his whisper so low I barely caught it.

And so I laughed again. I laughed from the heart this time. The audacity in this man astounded me still.

"Laugh all you like," Valentine said, lowering his head. "But it's the truth."

"You ruined my life!" I reminded him yet again because he seemed to forget it so soon.

"And I'm sorry," he said, making the laughter catch in my throat. "I'm sorry for every tear I ever put in your eyes, Sunshine. If I could turn back time, I'd do everything differently, but that's a fool's wish. We can't turn back time. This is what we have now." He came in front of me lightning fast, his hand on my cheek as if he couldn't see the disgust in my eyes as clearly as I saw the pain in his. "I'm sorry, Fall. For everything. I was fooled," he whispered. "You of all people should know what that's like—I was fooled and?—"

I slapped him before I realized I'd even moved. It must have been all that magic burning, raging inside me, so I slapped him hard across the face and I stepped back.

"Don't you dare touch me again, Valentine," I said, and I was crying. I was fucking crying because he still knew how to get to me. He still knew how to tug at my foolish, foolish heart. "I don't care about your sorry. I don't care about anything that has to do with you. And don't you dare compare yourself to me, either, or try to guilt-trip me into understanding you. You're evil—I'm not. You and I are not alike."

He lowered his head. "You hate me," he said, and he was smiling as he said it. He was smiling that bitter smile I'd seen on him so many times before.

"I don't think I hate you more than you hate yourself." And that should have made me happier. It should have eased the pain in my chest, but it didn't. Somehow, it just added to it.

Throwing his head back, Valentine laughed. "No, you don't," he told me. "You're a blinding ray of sunshine in my life, Fall Hayes. And to be honest, real sunshine is overrated. It doesn't even come close to you." And he winked.

The asshole winked as he stepped back toward the castle.

"Leave me alone, Valentine," I said, shaking my head at him, too exhausted to feel so much for him that it had spent me within minutes. Hating him was like running a goddamn marathon—it took all the energy out of me.

"Never," he whispered—again, smiling. "I'll be here when you need me. Just look in the shadows."

"I don't need you!" I suddenly screamed, so frustrated my fists were shaking.

But he wasn't fazed. "Look in the shadows, Sunshine."

He disappeared from my sight so fast, I barely saw the blur of his figure running behind the trees to the other side of the castle.

Fuck, I wanted to scream. I wanted to kick something, slam my fists against the ground. He was so damn impossible !

Shadow was still there, still sitting on that branch, still watching me in silence. "You realize he's a monster, right?" I said, but his answer was that squirrel-like squeaking I'd found cute once.

With a sigh, I lowered my head and forced my thoughts to fall in order. It was useless to feel like this. Valentine knew how to get to me—but only because I let him. It didn't matter what he said or how much audacity he had or how we'd ended up here. What mattered was Grey, and that's where all my focus needed to be.

So, I turned to the sky again and I breathed in deeply, thinking about his face. His smile. His kiss. Those beautiful eyes on mine.

Within minutes, the thought of Valentine faded away, and all I was left with was the hope and fear of seeing Grey again.

It was an hour to dawn when I felt his wings— big wings—beating, and my heart jumped at first.

It jumped because I thought maybe it was Grey—he had wings, too. He could fly.

But I'd been in his arms when he did, many times, so that's how I knew three seconds in that it wasn't him. That's how I knew that the rhythm was off and that sound was different from Grey.

It was Romin flying over me in circles as he watched me in the dark. The shape of him, the strength of his wings would have been impressive if I'd cared right now. As it was, I just lowered my head and closed my eyes and prayed that he flew away soon. That he knew I didn't want to be bothered, and he just went away and left me alone.

He didn't.

Instead, I felt someone else approaching, too, and by the energy alone I was able to recognize Emil when he was still ten feet behind me. I'd gone to the rose garden at the back of the castle hours ago just to change my view, and now I wished I'd stayed inside. I wished I'd stuck to the rooftop of the third tower or my bedroom.

Except the walls had been about to swallow me whole in there, so outside was the only place I could be without driving myself insane with paranoia, so it hadn't really been a choice.

Fisting my hands, I released a long breath and told myself that it didn't matter. Only hours separated me from Grey—it didn't matter that the brothers were here. Whatever they wanted, they no longer scared me. Nothing did anymore—only Syra.

"Can't sleep?" said Romin when he landed in front of me, a small distance away. He was barefoot and naked from the hips up, wearing only a pair of black pants and his wings, which folded behind his back and disappeared completely. They were very similar to Grey's—all sharp claws and black leather, big and strong enough to carry him in the air without trouble.

"I don't want to," I said, holding his eyes, though half my attention was on Emil, who was behind me. So far neither looked like they were going to jump me, but if they did, my magic was right there. If they did, I'd unleash it on the both of them without hesitation. Even if I didn't kill them, I'd give myself plenty of time to walk away.

"You've visited the witches and the Burrow," Romin said, putting his hands in his pockets as he slowly, casually strode over to me. "And you've been out here all night."

"And?" I challenged, and it made him smile.

"And I'm wondering why."

I smiled, too, though mine was bitter as all hell. "Keep wondering."

Romin laughed like I'd said the funniest thing in the world, and it just pissed me off more. Of course, he laughed—to him, I could have been out here with the sole purpose of entertaining him in this early hour.

"So feisty," Emil said as he came closer, too.

"So stubborn. I like it," said Romin, but he kept a good distance from me.

"You should taste my magic. I'm sure you'll both love that even more," I said, and I wasn't afraid in the least.

Emil stopped right by Romin's side, and they were both looking down at me—big, beautiful monsters who could devour me with a single bite. Big, beautiful monsters I'd been scared shitless of just a week ago when I was helpless. When I was weak.

Now, I couldn't even bring myself to not be irritated by their presence—but that's it. That's all I felt. Irritation .

"No, thanks. Tristian told us all about it," Romin said, and he wasn't worried. I had no illusion that they were afraid of me or anything, but just the fact that they were keeping their distance from me was enough.

"Is that why he didn't have the balls to come face me tonight?" I asked, pretending to be genuinely curious.

Again, the brothers looked at one another and chuckled. "Oh, boy," said Emil.

"You do realize that attacking a master is considered a crime, don't you?" Romin said, but he was having the night of his fucking life if the sparkle in his eyes was anything to go by.

"He was never my master, and neither are you, Romin," I said. "Besides, what are you going to do about it—banish me?"

I swear, these men thought me a goddamn comedian with the way they laughed.

"Jokes aside, Fall, don't use that magic here again," Romin said, and my magic raged as if it heard him. As if it understood him—and it wanted to show him exactly why he needed to take those fucking words back.

I bit my tongue until I tasted blood just to hold myself back—both from attacking him and saying something.

"What did you talk to the witches about?" Emil said. "We were told Reeva Lorein ate with you. That's quite an honor, if you didn't know."

"And why the Burrow? Don't tell me you've made nice with Mamayka now that Grey is gone for good," said Romin.

I saw fucking red.

"Grey is not gone—we all know where he is. You're just too cowardly to go get him back."

The way the smiles dropped from their faces was fucking epic. I took a mental picture of them and was going to carry it with me until the day I died.

"And what my relationship with the other Isles is shouldn't concern you, not anymore. What should concern you, however, is the fact that the rulers of the other Isles don't feel the need to even tell you when the end of the fucking world is at our doorstep." Priceless, priceless, priceless the look on their faces. "How about you worry about that, Romin? How about you wonder why Reeva Lorein wouldn't bother to even tell you that the end of the Seven Isles is coming? Maybe because you didn't give a damn about going to even speak to her now that you're no longer bound to the Woods?"

That's what she'd said, hadn't she? Yesterday, after I'd met Mama Si, I'd gone back to Reeva to tell her about the plan. She'd agreed because she hoped that if Syra knew that the end was coming, she could be persuaded to stop before it was too late. Not only that, but she'd insisted she go with Mama Si to see Syra herself.

I had no complaints about it at all. I just asked her if it was okay to tell everyone else about the prophecy of the stars, and she said, "Why wouldn't it be? The stars speak to all Enchanted, not only my kind. Let everyone know. In fact, the Evernight Court should have come to see me by now—if they had, they would have been the first to find out, but alas…"

Those were her exact words.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Hold on, Fall," Emil said, shaking his head and smiling, but it was forced.

"How is it that every time I talk to you, you have something disastrous to tell me?" said Romin, already a bit pissed off.

"I don't know! But how is it that every time I warn you about something disastrous, you never believe me, and then it ends up happening?!"

I'd warned him about Genevieve. I'd told him about Sedelis, about Emerald and those men—what had ended up being just a distraction technique to keep the Evernights busy while Valentine prepared to awaken Syra. They'd organized a big group of over a thousand Enchanted from all Isles with the pretext of overthrowing the Evernights, and even though Romin and the brothers hadn't had trouble dealing with them at all when they came to the Woods, the plan had worked—they'd really been distracted.

And I'd warned Romin about Valentine, too, but he'd only laughed in my face.

He wanted to do the same now as well. His lips parted and he wanted to say something, laugh or accuse me of being a liar—it mattered very little, anyway.

But in the end, he said, "You're serious."

"I am."

A pause.

"What the hell does that mean?" said Emil.

"I'd advise you to go see Reeva yourselves, but she'll be busy tomorrow morning. Maybe at noon?" And I turned around to go back to the castle, knowing full well they wouldn't let me.

Before I'd taken the second step, both brothers basically materialized in front of me. "Don't play games with me, Fall," Romin said.

"What the hell does the end of the Seven Isles mean?!" Emil demanded, no hint of amusement anywhere on them anymore. They were most definitely not being entertained by me now.

So, I told them.

I told them about Reeva and about the stars, and I told them that I'd seen the constellation myself through the Star Reader. It was more to warn them, to have them tell the people, to maybe try to come up with a plan that might actually work, even though I knew it was useless. Syra wasn't someone you just stopped—it had taken so much the first time around, when everyone around her had had their full powers, like Mama Si so kindly reminded me.

Now, it was impossible. I'd seen the ease with which she'd frozen a dragon the size of a mountain, the ease with which she'd killed Sedelis, the ease with which she'd expelled us from the Isle and thrown us in the ocean.

I'd seen.

But I still hoped somehow because maybe I was made wrong, or maybe that's what it meant to be human—who knew?

"So, there," I concluded while they looked at one another, then at the ground, then at the sky with bloodshot eyes.

"Impossible," said Emil, but he kept shaking his head because he knew it wasn't.

"Very possible. Maybe it's something worthy of your attention and you can think about this rather than wonder where I've been or what I've done. Maybe you can find a way to warn the people, too."

"Warn them of what?" Romin said through gritted teeth. "If the stars say it…"

"It's already as good as done," said Emil, again—like he couldn't quite believe his own words.

"Maybe," I whispered, and his words settled on my chest, too. "So, I guess the question we should all ask ourselves is, what do we want to do most when our days are literally numbered?"

For once, I had a crystal-clear answer: I wanted to be with Grey.

This time, when I turned around to go back to the castle to rest for a bit, the brothers didn't stop me. They didn't call for me or tell me to explain—they were too shocked still.

But they knew now. It was their responsibility to share it with the people or go talk to Reeva and the other Isles.

It occurred to me that the gravity of the situation hadn't quite hit me yet, not the way it did the others. Reeva had near lost it, and Mama Si had actually been glad for the end, and the Evernight brothers had literally been left speechless—they were still right where I left them, perfectly motionless, staring at the ground with their fangs extended when I entered the castle.

No, the situation had yet to make full sense to me, and it wouldn't until I found Grey.

And when I saw him again, I'd deal with all of this. I'd probably lose my mind worse than Reeva—but after I found Grey.

In the main hallway, I heard the slow beating of Shadow's wings and I knew Valentine was close. I knew he'd been out there listening to us, too, and I was glad for it. He should know, too—that the end he fought so hard for was upon us for real.

And maybe, hopefully , the guilt would crush him under the same way it did me.