Chapter 34

Thirty-Four

My hands looked so…ordinary. My skin was smooth, unbroken. No sign of blood or a wound—even a scratch.

Nothing, just skin.

" You're being silly, " I whispered to myself, shaking my hands because it felt like they were burning again. And when that didn't work, I reached out for the tiny piece of oak, where Grey had engraved my eye and those two words for me—my birthday gift.

Een aeva. I read it again and spun it around my fingers, hoping it would distract me.

Since I woke up before dawn in our bed, in our bedroom in the third tower, I'd been having these hot flashes, these memories coming back to me so suddenly, and they didn't last. Only for a split second I'd feel as though I had magical flames burning me or pouring out of me or coming inside me the way the magic from that box had done.

It was painful—so goddamn painful, and it took my nervous system a good couple seconds to understand it was just a memory, so I panicked. Of course, I panicked—the future was so blurry. I couldn't see what was going to happen at all. From my bedroom windows, I couldn't see anything different about the world around me, either, except how alive the Whispering Woods now was. How green the trees, how tall. How blue the sky and how golden the sun.

I couldn't see how the Isles came together from here, though. I couldn't see how the people felt, and though I knew that I would later that day, a big part of me just didn't want to.

"It's over," I told the sky. It was over for good.

This moment in time was what I'd been wanting, praying for, begging for since the morning Grey was banished. This moment was all I'd wanted all this time—for all of the madness to just be over.

Now it was, but it wasn't the same. It was over, but there was a hole in my chest that was threatening to absorb me completely if I let it, and every time I got those hot flashes, those memories of the day before, of all that magic leaving me, then entering me again, it got worse.

Because Valentine was gone.

He wasn't here. He wasn't coming. He was dead because of me. Undone because he'd stepped in front of the sirens to protect me while I ran.

Gone, and I couldn't even say goodbye.

So much had changed already.

Genevieve was dead. Romin had found her in her chambers two days after I left the Woods. She'd poisoned herself with a witch potion. Had died painlessly and on the spot.

I could say that I was sad for her, but I'd be lying. And when Grey told me about it, he wasn't sad, either. He didn't even say that he would miss her—just that she was gone. After all she had done… God, forgive me, but good fucking riddance.

Now Grey was downstairs, speaking to his brothers. Tristian had survived, according to him, even though he'd ripped his brand-new wings off his back the day before. He'd had it coming, Tristian, but I still felt like shit about it. Grey forbade me from feeling guilty before we slept—actually forbade me from feeling anything bad at all regarding Tristian, and I was going to free myself of that guilt for sure. But it was going to take a little time, unfortunately. It wasn't going to happen in a day, even if we did decide to stay in the castle.

Right now, nothing was certain. The Evernights would be hosting a meeting that could potentially last a few days to a few weeks with all the other rulers, Grey said. They needed a system, and he'd gone downstairs to start planning with Romin since dawn, but I'd chosen to stay in the room for a little while longer. Take a shower. Get dressed.

Just…breathe.

Everything was going to be okay. Reeva searched me with her magic—my baby was okay, too. That had been my biggest fear, and even though I was not looking forward to seeing an actual doctor with an ultrasound device, I trusted Reeva with all my heart. She would be staying here in the coming weeks, together with Mama Si, and I knew we'd have a good time together, as weird as that sounded.

It just wasn't enough.

Eventually, my legs got tired, and I sat on the windowsill.

Eventually, I leaned against the wall and the tears dried completely.

Eventually, I saw movement through the corner of my eye.

My heart jumped, my body so hyperaware of everything it was painful. I was on my feet, looking out at the blue sky, just as something flew— incredibly fast —somewhere over my head.

I didn't catch it. I didn't see it, and common sense said it was a bird. Just a bird—there were so many of them around us now, singing the day away. Just a bird flying into the sky, that's it.

But my instincts were on fire and my mind was racing. My legs were moving because I couldn't see enough from the windows and I needed to see up there. I needed to see the whole goddamn world right now.

Shadow, my mind echoed as I ran, completely breathless, my heart about to beat right out of me. It was Shadow flying around the tower, Shadow disappearing from my view, Shadow teasing me with that long tail that I was almost sure I saw before he disappeared above the window— almost.

And if Shadow was here…

My bare feet slammed against the stone floor and the stairs as I ran like I didn't need air to survive. I didn't really see anything at all as I climbed another two floors to get to the fifth, the large balcony of the third tower from where I'd have a much wider view of the Whispering Woods.

I pushed the door open, and my body locked down instantly, right there against the frame, and my eyes didn't blink at all, and my heart didn't beat.

Only my tears moved as they filled my eyes, though they hadn't started falling yet.

Valentine was sitting on the railing, one leg up to rest his elbow on, his back against a pillar as he faced the sky.

Shadow was sitting on the railing right next to his foot.

A dream, my mind said. It was just a dream.

Their silhouettes were completely black against the bright sky, and though I knew them both by memory, it was much more logical to assume that this was only a dream.

Until…

"I know, I know. I'm supposed to be dead."

It was his voice. It was Valentine's voice and his words and him.

He turned to me, a small smile curling one corner of his lips, and it was his smile. His face.

I ran.

A miracle my legs held me when I was so weak still, weaker than before. Weaker than when Fessa had been going on and on about what it meant to be a siren.

Valentine jumped to his feet just in time to catch me.

I locked my arms around his neck, and I was never going to let go because it was him. His scent and his body and his hair—Valentine Evernight, the strangest man I knew, fucked up in the head, completely senseless.

He was laughing as I squeezed him with all my strength until my muscles were sore. Until my own limbs protested, and I had no choice but to let go.

"You…you d-d-died! You fucking prick—you died for me!" I stuttered. "How dare you. How fucking dare you!"

I slammed my fists on his chest and I was so weak he hardly felt it. He grabbed my face in his hands and came closer until his eyes were all I saw.

"I didn't, Sunshine. Look at me—I'm alive. I'm right here," he said, over and over again, and I still didn't believe it.

His eyes were dark, no brown left in them, and the bags underneath were nearly blue. He looked pale, paler than usual, and the hollows of his cheeks were more pronounced, like he'd lost weight. Like he was exhausted .

"What the hell happened, Valentine?! Where were you?" My voice shook and broke a couple of times, and I held onto his forearms for fear I'd fall. For fear he'd move away and disappear again, and I'd have no choice but to believe that he was really gone.

"I was…away," he said, bringing his forehead to mine. "I was healing."

Laughter bubbled out of me, even though a few tears escaped the corners of my eyes. "You prick! " Here I was, thinking he was dead , thinking he was gone because of me, and I'd had to carry all that guilt.

Did he not realize how tired my shoulders were?! Did he not realize how much I loved him?

I had to tell Grey. I had to tell Reeva and Mama Si and the whole damn world right now.

"I know, Sunshine, but you're okay," he said, eyes closed as he sighed, as if he'd had air in his lungs. "All is well. You're okay, I can feel it."

Squeezing my eyes shut, I held onto him and I breathed, and I told myself that he was okay, too. I could see it. He was standing, and Shadow was on the railing still, watching us curiously, like he couldn't tell why we were holding onto each other like that.

Until I was no longer breathing so heavily. Until my heart no longer beat so fast.

We leaned away to look at one another, and he smoothed my hair behind my ears and smiled.

He was smiling.

"Where were you, Valentine?"

"I was in the woods."

"But why? What happened? Did you fall unconscious? Did you?—"

"I came after you," he said, shaking his head. "I saw you and the siren, but I was weak and my legs didn't work, so I was dragging myself with my hands. I didn't get there in time and you opened the box." He closed his eyes. "Then the fire started."

"My God," I whispered. "Did it hurt you?"

"It knocked me out. When I came to everything was done. I saw you and the others. You were all okay."

"And you didn't think to come say hi and tell me you're alive?!" I shouted so loud Shadow jumped and spread his wings in panic.

But Valentine only grinned. "I knew you wouldn't care about me, Sunshine. It's not like you came to save me from sirens."

I was laughing and crying and hugging him again like a fucking lunatic, and it lasted a good couple minutes until I was able to focus again.

"You could have just come to my door, you know. Or my window," I said.

"I didn't want anybody else to see me," Valentine said, and when Shadow jumped on his shoulder, he touched his chest with the back of his fingers, like usual. Like when he was praising the little guy.

I reached out my hand and did the same, and Shadow purred like a cat, making me laugh.

"Why not? They're going to be glad you're okay," I said, looking him over once more. He was dressed in his usual clothes—all black. And he looked fine, except for the face. How pale he was. How tired.

But alive.

"Not really," Valentine said. "You can't tell them that you saw me, Sunshine."

I leaned my head back. "What?"

Valentine smiled. "I don't want them to know I'm alive. I don't want anyone to know right now."

"Are you serious?" He turned to the sky, hands resting on the railing, and I did the same. "Valentine— why?! "

"Because I want to leave here. I want to leave Ennaris," he said. "I know my brothers. They won't let me—and if they do, they'll try to hunt me down eventually. Romin's ego is very fragile." He looked at me and grinned. "He'll feel less of a man if I'm here and he doesn't punish me—and I will not be accepting any punishment from him. Or anyone else for that matter."

I shook my head, at a loss for words for a moment.

"It's what I want," Valentine continued. "What I always wanted—to be out there. To be free. I want to learn about life."

I laughed again, but it came out bitter this time. "Then read a book!"

He flinched. "I prefer making mistakes."

"But…but Ennaris is finally healed." As I was sure he'd noticed.

"Yes, thanks to you ," he said, turning to me as he shook his head. "What you did there was incredibly dangerous. That magic should have killed you."

"It wouldn't. I didn't plan to keep it, I just wanted to give it to the land so the sirens couldn't get their hands on it. Magic knows —isn't that what you write about in your famous book on the Basics of Magic?" The journal he'd written for me by hand to help me get a hold of my magic in the beginning—because he couldn't just come up to me and tell me the truth, no. That would be too easy. No drama. Too boring for Valentine Evernight, I supposed.

"And I'm glad it worked, but please don't put your hands into magic that powerful next time, Sunshine, okay? Just… don't ."

I grinned. "You mean the next time the end of the world knocks on the door?"

Throwing his head back, he laughed. "I don't plan to awaken any dormant sirens anytime in the future, so no. I think we're safe for now."

I was smiling, the urge to cry just there as I wrapped my arms around his and rested my head on his shoulder. He kissed the top my head and brought his hand over mine, and for a moment, we just looked out at the blue sky, at the birds flying. At the world.

And it was okay.

I understood where he was coming from. After all we'd been through, it made perfect sense that he wouldn't want to deal with the drama of the aftermath—I didn't, either. He wanted to leave, be free, be out there, and he would.

"It's okay," I said eventually, both to him and myself. "It's fine. Go out there and explore the world. And when you're ready…" I turned to him and touched his cheek. "When you're ready, you'll come home."

He smiled and it was so sad it broke my healing heart a little bit again. "This isn't my home, Sunshine. It never was."

"Not this place— me. You'll always have a home with me," I promised him, and I meant it. For all his faults, he was mine. He was my family. We'd always belong to one another.

"Then I will," Valentine said with a nod. "But I have to go now."

My heart jumped.

"One more thing," I said when he stepped back, and I went closer again.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Bite me, asshole. Right here, on the wrist." And I shoved my hand in his face.

Valentine laughed. "I'll be fine, Sunshine. There's plenty of blood out there to feed me."

"Yes, but how many people do you really love , Valentine Evernight?" My blood made him stronger the same way it did Grey, and he knew it.

"Only one," he admitted.

"So far," I corrected. "The world is vast. Who knows—you might meet the love of your?—"

He bit into my wrist so fast my own scream cut me off. And I got it—he didn't want to hear it. But I had faith. A soul like Valentine's would be restless without someone to connect to, and he'd find that someone. I knew in my heart that he would.

He didn't take much from me, only a few mouthfuls, but when he was done and licked the puncture wounds on my wrist, there was color on his cheeks and the bags under his eyes were completely gone.

I felt like I was on top of the world as I sighed.

There. Much better now.

"Thank you, Sunshine. But really, I have to go now—he's coming for you," Valentine said.

"Who?" I asked, a second before I felt the energy against my skin, an energy I knew well.

Grey—and he was getting closer.

"Your husband," Valentine said with a grin, then wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

I locked mine around his waist.

"Stay." I would be so fucking happy if he'd just stay, even though I knew he wouldn't. "You'll have a nephew soon if all goes well—just stay with us."

"I will, and I can't wait to meet him," he whispered against my hair.

"Then s?—"

"I'll see you soon, Sunshine," he cut me off and kissed my cheek. "Keep rising."

My heart was heavy as I watched him jump on the railing. Shadow flew off his shoulder and came toward me, flying right in front of my face.

Tears in my eyes again. "Take care of him, will you? The same way you took care of me." He was always there, always behind me, and I loved him with all my heart. He purred again, and I gave him a kiss right on his pointy face.

Shadow must not have seen it coming because he became disoriented for a moment, lost control of his wings and almost fell. I laughed—couldn't help it. But then he picked himself up and flew toward the sky, and when I turned, Valentine was not there anymore.

He was gone.

I gripped the metal in my hands and looked out at the castle, at the woods—at the sky.

He had disappeared.

"There she is."

Grey came out onto the balcony, and the sound of his voice raised the hair on the back of my neck. I turned around and when he saw me, his smile dropped.

"What is it, baby?"

A long, loud breath left me.

Slowly, my lips stretched into a smile. "Nothing at all." Grey was alive and well—and so was Valentine.

Everything was perfectly fine.

"You looked scared just now," he said as he came to me, and I turned back to the sky just to make sure that Valentine was really gone and to look at my wrist—healed. My skin wasn't even red where his fangs had been.

"I was just thinking."

Grey wrapped me in his arms and my soul rested within the second, just like that. This man was really something.

"About what?" he said, and when I leaned back on his chest, he proceeded to kiss every inch of me he could reach.

"Just…the future."

"And?"

"And…nothing. Just thinking."

"Have you decided what you want to do next? After we're done with these meetings?"

"No idea," I admitted as my eyes closed slowly. Fuck, I was still so tired, and he calmed me down so well I wanted to fall asleep right away. I felt safe in his arms.

"We can stay or we can go. We can do anything you want," Grey said, slowly turning me around so I faced him. So he could reach my lips with his.

His kisses were magic.

"Okay," I said with a nod. "Then we'll figure it out."

There was a time when I'd wanted nothing more than to explore the Isles with Grey, see every place there was to see, maybe find one we could make ours. Maybe settle.

Back then, it had only been a dream, but now?

Now, it sounded like a really good plan, actually. After all, we were going to have a baby in a few months.

A baby . The thought still shocked me all over again.

"We will, my queen," he said, kissing my lips gently. "But right now, I need you to eat so we can get started. All the rulers are here. They're waiting for you."

My eyes opened wide, and I leaned back to look at him. "Me? Why are they waiting for me ?"

"To start negotiations," he said.

"But I'm not a ruler of an Isle." And it beat me why I had to remind him of that.

Grey laughed. He actually, genuinely laughed, and my toes curled all the way as if a button was pushed. Fuck, I loved the sound of his laughter more every time.

"You're far more than that. You saved us. You saved the Isles. You saved Ennaris," he said. "Now you get to be the first to decide what happens to it."

My mouth opened and closed and opened and closed…

"No." No way in hell. Just… no way .

"Yes, my queen." He was still grinning, amused by my panic.

"Grey, I wouldn't know where to even begin. I don't know anything about anything—let alone how to run a magical continent." He had to realize the absurdity of what he was saying.

"That's why the other rulers are here. And I'll be there, too," he said, like he really saw no wrong in this. "We'll take a look at the systems each Isle used until now, and we'll figure out a new way to work together."

"But—"

"Let's look at the papers first, can we? Let's listen to the people," he said.

I shook my head, silent for a moment, but trying to think about it calmly and rationally wasn't working—there was no sense to this at all as far as I was concerned.

"But I don't know anything about any of this, Grey. You know this—why do you insist?" I was not the right person to ask about governing anything, let alone an entire continent—I just wasn't.

His smile turned a bit sad. "Because this is where our son will grow up, if we so choose," he whispered. "And I want to create a better world for him to live in. There is nobody in existence I'd trust to know how to do that other than you . To make sure that not just our kid—but all the kids in Ennaris live better lives than they did until now."

Well, fuck.

"When you put it like that…" It was most definitely something I wanted to be a part of.

"No need to be overwhelmed. Let's just listen to the people and figure it out, okay? One step at a time."

Suddenly, the idea didn't seem so completely and utterly ridiculous. "One step at a time," I repeated.

"Reeva will be there. So will Mamayka."

I nodded. "That's good. That's good."

"And again—so will I."

My smile was automatic. "You'll never leave my side again?"

He grabbed me in his arms and spun me around while I screamed in surprise and laughed my heart out.

"Never, my queen. Not even when the stars fall," he said and kissed me.

Just like that, he made everything work.

I knew it wasn't over. On the contrary—we were only just beginning. And Grey was right, we owed it to the people to try to make things better now that the curse was gone and all that magic was back where it belonged. There was still so much to do because the sirens were on the loose, and the continent was whole, and the Enchanted were one people again.

But I had faith. As absurd as it sounded, I had faith that we could do it, just like Grey always said—one step at a time. After all, my life had changed so drastically, had become so much more than I ever thought it could be, and I'd survived it. I rose on top of it—simply because I didn't give up. Not once. Not even when there was no hope and the end of the world was right in front of me—I did not quit.

That tells you something, doesn't it?

It's a hell of a mindset I plan to stick to for the rest of my life.

— THE END