CHAPTER NINE

Two days later

– EASTLYNNE –

"I shouldn't have stayed away," I grumble as I close Buckey's stall.

With what happened at my ranch, Cosima getting hurt, I had no choice but to stay there instead of working with Buckey. He needs love and attention regularly, even though I had my hands full with taking care of Cosima. The complications due to the attack are causing extra stress and she needs to be cared for. Then there's the fact that I've also been working on the new, injured horse Rourke left in my stable.

"It'll be fine," I hear a voice rumble and I turn to see Colt, one of the older Iron Hot Blood generation. "My horse, Cavier, was injured when he was young. He was in an accident where the trailer he was in crashed. I didn't have the time to work on him every day because of my own issues. He turned out just fine."

I give him a tiny smile, knowing he's right. I've been around his son, Walker, more than a few times and he looks just like him.

"I know, but I'd rather have the horses I work with at my ranch. It's why I bought the place." I sigh and lean against the stable.

Colt shrugs. "Tell Prez, I'm sure the man would be open to the idea if you'd welcome more brothers into your home. You know, 'cause the horse in question is the centerpiece of the hate raining down on us and all."

I cross my arms in front of my chest, feeling the frustration and annoyance fill my veins. My life took a drastic turn the past few days. Trying new meds to help dull the triggers and anxiety, opening up to new people. Well, more like Rourke slipping under my skin by working together.

With him comes a circle of people who all have their own demons to fight. Muriel, Kathleen's mother, for instance, used to be a germaphobe. Kathleen told me how her parents met because of her mother having a stalker. She was placed in Decker's care because of his ties with the FBI.

Their dog, Hammer, an Australian cattle dog, was one of the first who helped her overcome, and get a handle on it, along with everything else on the ranch. Sadly, Hammer died, but they have some of his offspring. Kathleen has one, Wrench, and he's trained as a K9. Sadie, Spiro and Tristine's daughter, has two and they're trained search and rescue dogs.

Which reminds me. "Kathleen and Rourke are in church to talk about how things are going with the…hate raining."

I frown and wonder if I should have mentioned the meeting.

Colt chuckles. "I know about the meeting, little one. You knowing about it shows the level of trust Rourke puts in you. Some old ladies don't thrive well if details are kept from them. Rourke mentioned to everyone how you like routine, not having your personal space breached, and no surprises. I used to be a loner myself. PTSD changed me, but so did my horse, this brotherhood, and my old lady. Life hits you with challenges, but thank fuck there are also things that help balance it out. Well, if you allow them into your life. You being here, opening up? Good shit, darling. It might be hard to keep focus with all the turmoil, but the road of life will clear up when you let the dust settle."

I let my body relax as I take in his words and dammit, "I don't regret the tiny steps I've taken since I met Rourke, even if some were forced. The meds also help, along with Rourke who seems to have all the patience and understanding in the world when it comes to me."

"Everything is worth the patience and understanding when it comes to finding the one woman who shines bright and overshadows the downsides in life." Colt grins. "I happen to speak from experience, and I've seen many of my brothers fall for their old lady. There's no better feeling than knowing you are able to stand side-by-side and share ups and downs. Even if we have a whole brotherhood at our back."

My head bobs. "These past few days have been–" I try to think of how to describe it and finally go with, "Uncomfortable."

"Understandable with her handling most of your social contacts. She's recovering, and it's forcing you to step up as well."

He's right. "It scares the crap out of me. Cosima is a highly active person and now she's mostly resting in bed. Like you said, she would handle everything when it comes to communicating with others. I don't want to bother her and she needs the rest with her concussion, and the complication she has along with it." Shaking my head I admit the scariest part, "I hope the loss of sight is temporary and that there's no permanent damage to the optic nerve."

Colt reaches out and places his large hand over my shoulder to give it a gentle squeeze. "From what I've heard? Cosima is strong and will handle whatever hand life deals out. Besides, she has a fierce sister who's the president's old lady. You both have a whole brotherhood to fall back on as well."

I'm still processing his statement when he steps back and strolls out of the stables. My mind jumps to the fact that he breached my personal space and touched my shoulder. Yet, within the moment I didn't think about it because I know him. Tiny steps forward are a way to overcome issues that block things in my everyday life.

There's a bounce in my step when I walk in the direction of the clubhouse. The chat with Colt gave me confidence and the ability to see things from another perspective. The situation with Cosima has held my heart in a grip of fear. All while I now feel strong enough to handle anything she needs.

I owe her. She's been my rock for years and it's the least I can do. I might fail, but like Colt mentioned; I have a brotherhood at my back. Some of the old ladies of the older generation showed up to drop off food the past few days, along with some of their grown kids who are around my age. It made me feel awkward, but it's also nice to have friends, and the option to ask for help.

When I enter the main room of the clubhouse, I notice Parker sitting at the bar.

"Hey," I quip.

He glances over his shoulder at me. "Hey, yourself. How's your sister?"

Cosima has asked me to keep Parker out of the house. He was sweet and helpful the first day but the day after he came to visit and she refused to so much as talk to him. With the added complications she demanded I didn't share it with anyone. The only ones who know are the doctor, Rourke because he went with us to the hospital, and now Colt.

"Still recovering," I reply and point at church. "Are Rourke and Kathleen still in there?"

Parker glances at his phone. "Yeah. They're expecting company so if you need to talk to your old man I'd do it now."

I smile. "Thanks, Parker."

He clears his throat and hesitantly asks, "Cosima still refusing anyone to visit? Or is it just me?"

Shit. I don't like lying and Parker is genuine and a nice guy.

I wring my hands and tell him, "She's not herself. She needs time and needs to heal. The complications show she has to take as much rest as she can."

Parker jumps to his feet and is barking out his words. "Complications? What fucking complications and why am I only now hearing about fucking complications?"

I wince and take a step back. Parker curses and mutters out an apology.

At the same time, I hear a door opening and Rourke's voice asking, "What's going on?"

Parker glares at Rourke. "Eastlynne just mentioned Cosima has complications. What's going on?"

Rourke's eyes collide with mine before they land on Rourke. "It's Cosima's private business and she's asked Eastlynne to keep it that way." His arm comes up. "Mind joining me in church for a bit, East? I only have a few more minutes until our new contact will be here."

I rush toward him and let my palm glide over his so he can pull me close. His lips land on mine and I melt into him. The delicious pause button of my brain always hits whenever Rourke has his hands on me.

Every touch, every kiss, every-freaking-thing he does soothes my soul. It's easy to follow him because he makes me feel like he's always there to have my back, to catch me if I stumble, and to give me a shoulder to cry on.

Pulling back, I murmur, "Thank you."

His eyebrows shoot up. "Why's that, sweetheart?"

"For your patience, your help, your persistence." I can feel my cheeks heat. "For being you."

The dimple in his cheek becomes prominent.

"I'm more me because of you." He pulls me tight against him and I place my head against his chest. "Pacing myself, forcing a different approach to get to know you also made me more aware of shit. I can't explain it. I guess it's somewhere along the lines of becoming aware of how life rushed past me. How I've taken things for granted, while in fact, everything can be a struggle either inside your mind or facing tasks. Doing everything myself, throwing out orders, so many fucking dimensions and you never really think about all the details unless you stumble to a stop and put life itself under a microscope. Hell, I'd freak out too."

He pulls back and his voice turns into a whisper when he says, "Kathleen and her mother don't eat strawberries. Wanna know why?"

My lips slightly part, but I'm almost afraid to ask.

It seems he doesn't need me to ask when he gives me the answer anyway. "Because when you put strawberries in saltwater…worms come crawling out."

"You asshole," Kathleen snaps and smacks Rourke's shoulder. "You shouldn't ruin strawberries for her. Now she'll never eat them again." She pierces me with a look. "Please don't Google it, you don't need those images inside your head. Trust me. I didn't believe my mom when she answered my question of why she never ate strawberries. Details are overrated, sometimes you just need to say fuck it and enjoy."

I process the weird information and all I can come up with is, "So you do eat strawberries?"

Kathleen looks horrified. "Hell no. But I do sometimes use the two-second rule if I drop something delicious."

"Two-second rule?" I muse and then it hits me. "Oh, yuck. Everything that lands on the floor needs to be thrown away."

Kathleen snaps her fingers. "Not everything. Besides, we all need some germs every now and then. It's the whole balance of good and bad."

I wrinkle my nose and hear Rourke rumble, "That's enough. Not everyone needs the germs reminder. The balance of good and bad, though? That's what we'll be discussing."

"Oh," I quip. "That reminds me. Would it be okay if we take Buckey to my place? I'd rather have him there to work with him."

"I don't think that's a smart idea," Kathleen states.

Rourke sighs but doesn't get a chance to answer because Parker rumbles, "Incoming. I think reinforcements are here. Well, it's just one guy."

We glance at the monitor and watch a large man swing his leg off his bike. He's wearing a Stetson with a leather chin strap instead of a helmet and the cowboy boots, along with the leather vest, shows he's like all the others around here. The patches on his leather vest, though? They're different than the Iron Hot Blood ones.

The guy steps inside the clubhouse and it's Kathleen who states, "You're not Atticus Wolffield."

The guy chuckles. "Nice of you to notice, sweet thing."

He dismisses her and steps closer to Rourke who guides me to the side to put some space between me and the stranger. I don't know if he's doing it out of protection or for my warry brain, but I do appreciate it.

The guy holds out his hand. "Rourke, I presume. I'm Marvin. My father told me you guys unwittingly crossed the fuckers I've been building a case against."

"You're building a case against Erwin Desmond?" Kathleen questions and then snaps, "I call bullshit. Cowboy Bikers MC Lawmen are an official division of the government. Being above the law, but upholding it to bring down criminals in your own way. It doesn't mean you work offline. So, why aren't you guys linked to any of the active cases involving Erwin Desmond? No one has been able to bring him and his men down due to lack of evidence."

Marvin's head slowly turns to Kathleen. He lets his gaze glide over her body from her lips down to her cowboy boots. Her dog is leaning against her leg and bares his teeth. The corner of his mouth twitches.

Kathleen is visibly fuming and I can tell she's a breath away from snapping at him some more when Marvin completely dismisses her and tells Rourke, "Prez? Mind if we have a word?"

"I'm the one who called you here," Kathleen snaps.

Rourke holds up his hand. "Enough. Kathleen, mind keeping my old lady company? And for the love of everything that's holy…please don't bring up stuff you did before this fucker stepped into the clubhouse."

It's a good thing Rourke and Marvin both turn their backs on us and head for church because the look Kathleen is stabbing in their direction? It's clear she wants to throttle both of them.