Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Claire woke up the morning after the luncheon with excitement thrumming through her. It was like somebody was lighting a candle from the inside, sparking energy through her. Preparing for the day was an easy task, her focus renewed by the thought of seeing Ernest.

She could not entirely remember when she had gone from going through the motions of her life to enjoying being a governess to now hoping that every day would begin with Ernest. Requesting him to break his fast with Florence and herself had been for the young woman's benefit but Claire found herself with plenty of selfish reasons to hope he kept joining them in the breakfast hall.

However, when she arrived, dressed in one of her nicer gowns that was practical for her role, she found only Lady Florence waiting at the table. For the first time in a while, there was no sign of Lord Bannerdown.

And Claire could not help her steps faltering as she blinked, looking around.

"Lord Bannerdown shall not be joining us today?" she asked Lady Florence. "Have I missed his presence?"

Lady Florence shook her head. "No, he did not arrive at all, not even to explain his absence." She sighed heavily. "My toast has grown cold, and my mood has grown miserable. It feels as though we are right back to the start of when he arrived and wished to have little to do with me."

"Oh, Lady Florence, I am sure that is not the case," Claire said, sitting down. But she could not help as her attention strayed to the empty chair at the head of the table that Lord Bannerdown usually occupied.

He had once confessed to her, a week ago, that breaking his fast with her was his favourite part of his new routine, for he got to start his day with her. And that thrilled Claire, especially as their departure for London grew closer.

Soon, they would be away from Bath, away from the rumours and the threats and the constant feeling of looking over her shoulder.

But disappointment weighed heavily on her now as she buttered some toast and joined Lady Florence. They retreated to the library, where Claire continued the girl's lessons in Spanish. Lady Katherine had said a Spanish prince might attend some seasonal balls, and Lady Florence was to be prepared to speak with him.

"And how do you ask how someone is doing?" Claire asked, but her attention kept flickering to the open doorway, waiting for Ernest to walk past on his way to his study.

"Que tal," Lady Florence recited.

"Very good," Claire said, her voice faint and distant, barely listening.

"It is not really, though, Miss Gundry," Lady Florence protested. "As that is the informal way, is it not? I could not very well address a Spanish prince so informally."

Claire realized then that she had tricked her into acknowledging that she was distracted.

"Miss Gundry, I do not know if a governess is allowed a day of absence, but you seem distracted. If you are sick and need to retire, then I certainly shall not breathe a word of it to anyone. But I suspect you are not sick at all but distracted by thoughts of my cousin. Am I correct?"

Lady Florence's knowing smirk was enough for Claire to know she had been caught.

"You are right," she admitted timidly, feeling shy about admitting this to her tutee. "I … I admire Lord Bannerdown greatly."

Lady Florence laughed quietly. "I know you do. It is rather plain to see. You look at him like—"

"Please do not say like Juliet looks at Romeo," Claire interrupted.

Lady Florence only laughed harder. "No, I was going to say like you see a brilliant, bright future with him. When you first arrived here, you did not look such a way. You often looked … lost."

"Oh."

"But I am happy if my cousin has brought you back to knowing your way again. He can be your compass."

Claire blushed furiously at that before trying to compose herself.

"There is another thing," Lady Florence said tentatively. "And I have not entirely known how to broach the subject with you, but I do suppose this is as good a moment as any. I have … I have heard some rumours, especially at the luncheon yesterday, that you have not always been a governess but rather a former lady like I am. That you were courted by Lord Simon, Victor's brother. Is this true?"

Claire hesitated before nodding. "I am sorry I did not confess my secrets to you directly."

"They are your own," Lady Florence assured her. "And I did not confess mine to you."

"I almost did if that is any consolation. I almost told you when I found your letter from Victor. I wished to share my true story of my courtship with Lord Simon."

"And if you ever wish to share that story with me, I will listen. You have been kind and patient with me when I thought nobody else had the time for me after my parents' death. So, thank you, Miss Gundry. If the rumours come to light, then I am sure you might not stay on as my governess. You might even be able to reclaim your title. But I would still like to have you in my life, regardless. And that includes you having my blessing to pursue your admiration for my cousin if it is what you both wish."

The information was something Claire processed slowly, and she was hesitant to realize that Lady Florence was offering her something beyond simply governess and tutee. She was offering confidence and friendship.

For which Claire was grateful.

"Now, how might I formally address the Spanish prince?" Lady Florence teased, but before Claire could answer her, Lady Katherine appeared.

"Lady Katherine!" Lady Florence called out. "If I may bother you for a moment, do you know where my cousin has gone? He has not attended his study nor breakfast this morning. We have not seen him since he left for the ball last night."

Claire's dread grew the moment she watched Lady Katherine's smirk grow. She shrugged as if unbothered, encased in a smart, beautiful red gown. "Perhaps he was up early to spend as much of his day as possible with Lady Samantha. After all, they were caught together at the ball last night. I found them myself in an incredibly compromising situation."

Claire fought to keep her composure neutral, but her heart was crushed. She had feared his feelings for Lady Samantha, and he had admitted she was lovely in looks and personality. Had everything got too much for him? Had he decided that Lady Samantha was a good, safe option for him?

Her chest tightened.

Ernest was not a rake. She had to believe that. He had barely known how to be around Claire at the very start, let alone court another woman simultaneously. There was something not right about Lady Katherine, who had been the very person to discover them, and she was bragging about it. Surely, a mother who had caught her son in a compromising situation would be somewhat ashamed or muttering about honour and doing the right thing by the woman he was caught with.

Lady Katherine only looked pleased with herself, as pleased as she had been during the other times she had set up a meeting between the two.

But…

A small voice in her head whispered that perhaps Lord Bannerdown had finally succumbed to all of that and fallen for Lady Samantha.

Lady Florence glanced at Claire before smiling at Lady Katherine. "Indeed. Well, I hope he is back in time to dine with us."

"I would not hold out hope."

And then Lady Katherine was gone in a swish of red, and Claire was left hardening herself against the onslaught of disappointment and crushing weight of a potential circumstance she did not like.

I must know the truth, she thought.

"Lady Florence, I think I shall end our lessons here for the day. You may return to your beloved Shakespeare."

***

Claire waited, waited, and waited. She waited throughout the afternoon, long into the evening, and as the sky had well-turned inky black, she still waited, but there was no sign of Ernest.

She paced and paced, so much so that she imagined she would wear out the floorboards.

Hours passed, Lady Florence retired for the night, and still, Ernest did not show.

Claire switched between watching from her window, keeping a candle lit so he would know she was waiting for him, and watching the door, hoping he would knock.

And when a knock did sound on her door, Claire jumped to open it, wrenching it open—only not to find Ernest but Winnie, who looked troubled.

"Claire, there is a visitor downstairs for you."

Claire did not waste any time. Perhaps it was Ernest arranging a secret meeting! Perhaps they were fleeing to London early. She raced past Winnie, who called after her to slow down. Would Lady Florence be down there, waiting?

She had been right.

He did not have affection for Lady Samantha after all.

Ernest wanted her. He wanted—

It was not Ernest who waited for Claire in the basement but an unfamiliar face. She halted sharply, slowing her gait right down to a respectable pace as she beheld the stranger.

"Lady Claire Garner?"

The name dropped through her. Not another Ton member from her past coming to seek her out.

"Yes?" Her voice was shaky as she tried to place the woman's face.

"You are as beautiful as the day I walked away," the woman said, causing Claire's stomach to drop. "You have grown into such a beautiful woman. You have thrived, as I knew you would, even without me. I am Lady Magdalene Garner, Claire. I am your mother."

Claire felt the room spinning around her. That was why the colour of her eyes was so familiar—they were her own on a stranger's face. And her hair… it was the same wheat colour as Claire's. She was so very much like her mother, and it hurt to know.

But anger came from that hurt as she stormed forward. "Leave. I would like you to leave this house immediately. One person has already seen you, and that is enough."

"Claire, wait—"

"Oh, I waited long enough," Claire snapped. "Your six-year-old waited at the window for you for years before giving up, finally. Do not even ask me to wait for you any longer."

"I only mean please wait to hear me out before you send me away."

"Why?" She cried. "Why should I hear anything you have to say? Why now when I have made a new life for myself?"

"And I am so proud of you for it."

"Do not condescend to me."

"Claire, I have come to reconcile with you!" Magdalene protested. "I was encouraged to seek you out by Lady Katherine of this beautiful home."

Claire gaped at her. Of course, Lady Katherine was at the centre of yet another ploy to upend Claire's plans. "I do not wish to reconcile. You are barely a mother to me after you abandoned me. I would like you to leave and never come back. Do not write to me, do not seek me out, and do not ask about me."

Magdalene lifted her chin, her mouth quivering as if hurt. "I will return, Claire, and that is my promise. I have a right to know my own daughter."

"And I had a right to know my mother when I was a little girl, but you took that away from me."

Her anger simmered in the basement. If Magdalene would not be the first to leave, then Claire would. She did not have to endure this. But before she could stomp away, Magdalene departed, and Claire was left alone in the basement.

I have sent her out, yet I feel exactly as I did twenty years ago, wishing she would come back.