Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Claire could not stop thinking about Lord Simon turning up at Little Harkwell several days ago.

She had yet to tell Lord Bannerdown of his visit, for he was already trying to protect her from so much. Additionally, she did not want him to get the wrong idea. She had told him Simon was a part of her past—perhaps bringing him up now would only cause more damage.

So, instead, she refocused her attention on packing for the trip to London, but her mind was on the pitying look Simon gave her. If he had heard rumours, then who else had?

When Claire only had an unpacked pile of clothing to show for her efforts, she headed down to the basement, finding the staff preparing for the day. They were taking plates up to the dining hall to lay out for breakfast.

However, she found Winnie fussing with a pot over the stove. She turned around to face Claire. "Claire! How is your morning?"

Claire sighed, sitting in a chair. "I am struggling, Winnie." She rubbed her forehead. "Lord Bannerdown wishes Lady Florence and I to take a trip to London, but I cannot seem to focus on packing. I am feeling rather overwhelmed."

Winnie frowned, turning to face her. "Why must you go to London?"

Claire hesitated. "For my protection. There are some things going around about me, Winnie, and I think I would like to tell you myself before you find out from Lady Katherine." She steeled herself. She truly did not think she would have to discuss her true identity so often in one week. "I used to go by the name of Lady Claire Garner." Her voice was lowered despite the kitchen having been emptied out already. She did not want anyone else overhearing, but it felt as though it was only a matter of time before the entirety of Bath knew who she once was.

She waited for surprise, but Winnie only smiled as she sat down, pouring them both a cup of tea. "I should be surprised, but I am not," she said. "You have always been very perceptive and free with your opinion and outlook. Many of us cannot always speak our minds as you do, but you have little fear about it."

Claire was surprised at Winnie's ease with her true identity and surprised even further that the young lady's maid was not angry at her. But she would understand the need for protection and secrets. Instead, Winnie reached over and held Claire's hand.

"I know who you are, Claire, no matter your name," she comforted her. "And whatever you have been through, or whoever you are, whether that is a lady or a governess, I am your friend, and you are mine."

Tears unexpectedly sprung to Claire's eyes. She held her friend's hand, squeezing tightly. "Winnie, you do not know how badly I have needed to hear such a thing."

She embraced the other girl, smiling into her shoulder.

"But you must do one thing for me if you are in London," Winnie whispered, giggling.

"Ah, I see your motives now," Claire teased. "What can I do for you there?"

"I was hoping I could convince you to drop off my manuscript with a publisher." She bit her lip.

"You do not have to do any convincing. I would be very honoured to do that for you."

Winnie let out a squeal as she clapped her hands together. "Thank you, Claire! I will drop off the story to you soon, so you have time to finish packing and include it in your belongings. I have absolutely no doubt this book will be a hit—you'll see! It is much different than anything else I have ever written."

"Then I shall ensure the publisher receives it in the very best manner." Claire laughed as Winnie jumped up with excitement, bustling about the kitchen with a renewed purpose as she gathered what she needed to begin serving tea upstairs. Claire supposed she could not put off her packing duties any longer.

Returning upstairs, Claire entered the music room where both Lady Florence and Ernest stood at the pianoforte. At her entrance, Ernest's face brightened.

"Ah! There you are. Miss Gundry, you are exactly the woman I am looking for."

Am I? Truly? Claire's heart rose with hope, even as she knew she had been the one keeping her distance from Ernest. It was unfair of her to do such a thing to him but with news of her identity potentially spreading from the mouths of both Lady Katherine and Lord Simon and who knew who else, she had wanted to spare him the downfall of being too associated with her.

"Tonight is the charity ball held in honour of my fallen friend, Archibald White. It has been named the Toasting Ball due to his love of toasting announcements. It is a silly thing Graham decided so the ball was not directly connected to either of our names but so the focus could be solely on Archibald himself. However, before the ball, a luncheon will be held in a nearby assembly hall."

He looked between the two of them, happiness radiating from his face. His cheeks were flushed, and his hands gestured excitedly.

"I would like you to attend with me, cousin, and for you to chaperone, Miss Gundry."

Claire's heart, so full of hope moments before, positively dropped as she considered it. Of course, she would have to chaperone if Lady Florence wanted to attend, but with so many rumours circulating about her, she felt so very hesitant to agree as she wanted to.

Guilt weighed on her for not yet telling Ernest about Lord Simon's visit, and she could not help thinking that if she attended, then eyes would be on her, questioning, whispering about her heritage.

"I would love to attend, cousin!" Lady Florence said, as expected, clapping her hands. "I have not been to a proper ball before. I believe this shall prepare me for my upcoming Season!" She turned to face Claire. "You shall chaperone me, will you not, Miss Gundry?"

"Of course," she heard herself saying, because she had made a promise upon her employment to put Lady Florence above her own needs. But she felt distant, detached from her body. She swallowed, meeting Ernest's gaze, silently begging him to understand her hesitance.

He only nodded as if to tell her he would keep her safe. It was only a few more days until they could escape to London, and Claire would be relieved of all the eyes on her.

"I think Lady Florence's lessons can be set aside for today," Lord Bannerdown said, smiling. "And instead, you shall both prepare for the luncheon. I shall meet you in the entrance hall at midday."

"Thank you, cousin!" Lady Florence squealed before turning to Claire. "Come, Miss Gundry, we must prepare!"

Claire let herself be pulled away, still in a daze, and automatically prepared Lady Florence for her luncheon.

***

In the carriage ride, Ernest informed Lady Florence about the guests present for the luncheon and whom he planned to introduce her to. For now, it seemed like the day was proving a good distraction from the girl's heartbreak.

Claire could not find the same solace as she lost herself in her thoughts. Everyone who walked past the carriage glanced in, and she pressed herself back against the seat, not wanting to be recognized. She was being overcautious. But now, with Lady Katherine's poison spreading through Bath, Claire could not assume people would not look harder at her.

They had not recognized her in all these years, but a prompt could change everything.

"Are you feeling all right, Miss Gundry?"

"Yes," she answered, but it was too quick, and Ernest saw right through her. He looked back at her, utterly unconvinced.

"Do you think Lady Alison will be there?" Lady Florence asked. "I met her at the public library several months ago, and it has been some time since we have been able to speak with one another."

"Miss Harchester, the daughter of the Baron of Harchester?"

"That is her."

"I am sure she will be. The baron has been invited."

Lady Florence looked pleased, and as they continued the journey to the assembly room, Claire's dread only grew. If many peers had been invited, did that mean Lord Simon would be there? And Lord Victor? She could only hope neither showed and did not cause a scene for either herself or Lady Florence.

Soon, they arrived at where guests went in and out of the assembly hall, and Lady Florence could not exit the carriage quickly enough upon seeing her friend, Lady Alison. Claire went to follow, but Ernest held her back.

"Please stay a quick moment," he said.

She looked up at him questioningly. His hair had been pushed from his forehead, exposing those intelligent eyes she loved to look into. She swallowed now, her throat closing up.

"Have I overstepped, Miss Gundry? I feel as though you have grown rather distant from me in recent days. Should I return to our formalities of addressing one another? I do not wish to overstep in any way so if I have, please do set me back on the right path with you."

It was only at his worry that Claire found her voice once again. Eyes began to bore into her back, watching them, whispering, and she felt the pressure of it all.

"I assure you, Lord Bannerdown, that you have been the perfect gentleman," she told him softly. "It is not you at all that has me on edge. It is not only Lady Katherine who has threatened my identity, but just the other day, I had a visit—"

Before she could confess about Lord Simon's visit, his carriage pulled up behind theirs, and the man jumped out, smiling brightly.

"Ah, there she is! The very woman I have yearned to see once again."

Claire's breath caught, and she looked for a place to escape, but there was nowhere she could run to. Ernest moved just in front of her, looking at Lord Simon head-on.

"Lord Simon," he greeted. "I believe you shall not like to cause us any trouble at such a charitable event. We have exchanged pleasantries, and you have helped me greatly regarding your brother and my cousin. It would be a shame to damage that."

"Do not worry, for I am not here to damage anything." His gaze locked on Claire. "I only wish to congratulate Lady Claire on her reentry into society, although I must admit, Lord Bannerdown, it seems you are keeping such a well-discussed woman to yourself. Are you coveting her to finally have a chance to court her, as the rumours say you wish to, or are you simply trying to protect her now that news of Lady Claire's real identity is spreading?"

He bowed to Lord Bannerdown. "I shall see you inside. Enjoy your luncheon and ball later."

He walked away with his head held high, and Claire turned to Ernest.

I must leave, she thought, even as he directed her to move towards the entrance.

"I cannot remain a governess for much longer," she murmured to Ernest, who nodded. "I am risking both of our reputations. I can find work yet again in another city. I shall run as long as I need to, as long as I am safe, and finally escape the rumours and those who know me, but you … Lord Bannerdown, I cannot risk your reputation." Dread filled her chest. "London is a brilliant idea, and I am grateful for it, but I cannot hide there forever."

I shall have to make a decision about my future once the trip is over, she concluded.

Together, they entered the assembly hall.