CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Sternwood Manor buzzed with excitement. The lighting of the Yule Log was the final event before Christmas Day, and everyone was in very high spirits.

Many of the guests were laughing together in the great hall, waiting for Lady Sternwood to arrive to light the log. The hubbub of many voices and the odd shriek of laughter echoed around the corridors as servants flitted about making the final arrangements before it took place.

Emilia and Charlotte came downstairs together, their eyes bright with excitement on the eve of a day that might change their futures forever.

Emilia’s footsteps were soft upon the marble stairs, and she linked her arm in Charlotte’s as they approached the guests, who were chattering happily in small groups. The Cheswicks were speaking to the Pinkertons on the edge of the room, and Seraphina was the only member of the party who seemed visibly out of sorts.

Emilia felt a pang of guilt at the downcast expression on her face, aware that any rumours about the growing connection between herself and the Earl of Bellebrook would have doused Seraphina’s hopes for a match in that quarter.

Emilia’s guilt grew as she was unable to suppress the vicious wave of satisfaction she felt at the knowledge.

As they reached the final steps, Emilia saw Lord Spencer look around, his eyes alighting on Charlotte. If Emilia had entertained any doubts of his feelings for her friend, they were gone instantly with that look. Even Lady Spencer looked delighted to see Charlotte, and it was clear everyone involved approved of the match.

Emilia’s heart swelled for her friend. She was eager to go over to the Spencers immediately, but before she could do so, her plan was thwarted by a footman who approached her to request that she make her way to the drawing room.

Emilia frowned at him in confusion but could not deny the request.

Leaving Charlotte in the capable hands of Lord Spencer, who gallantly came forward to join her, Emilia went to the drawing room, feeling an inexplicable sense of unease wash over her the closer she came to the door.

She pushed it open find her parents standing in the centre of the room, quite alone.

She frowned, the sense of unease growing as she took in her mother’s ecstatic expression and the stoic happiness on her father’s face.

“My darling girl,” her mother said, walking toward her, her skirts sweeping behind her as she took her daughter’s hands. “I am so proud of you. I could weep.”

Emilia stared at her, glancing over her mother’s shoulder to look at her father.

“I always knew things would come good,” Lord Sternwood said happily. There was an air of confidence about him that Emilia had not seen for many years; it sent a chill down her spine. “Finally, I am able to release you to the capable hands of a good man who can secure your future.”

Emilia stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Benedict Easton, the Duke of Elderbridge, has come to see me this afternoon,” her father continued. “He was most eloquent in his manner and bearing and has asked for your hand in marriage. I can tell you without hesitation that I was happy to accept it. I am thrilled and beyond proud of the connection that you have secured.” Emilia’s heart plummeted to the floor. “I would never have expected such a match and am thrilled that it has come to pass after everything you have been through.”

She looked at her mother, and the tears shining in Lady Sternwood’s eyes made Emilia’s stomach turn over.

“To think,the Sternwood name will now be linked with the Elderbridges.” Lady Sternwood sighed as though all of her dreams had come true at once. “I know this will be a transition for you, my love,” she said earnestly. “There will be obstacles in your future that you will overcome. But I have no doubt this will be the beginning of a great step forward for you. What a wonderful match. What a glorious Christmas present for us all.”

Emilia was aware she was standing mutely with her mouth wide open. Unable to retain her strength any longer, she sank slowly into the chair behind her, unable to think of a single intelligible thing to say. Her mother smiled at her warmly, taking her silence for shock and happiness.

“We will go and light the log, just as I had always planned, but this year, it marks the beginning of a new life for us all.”

Lady Sternwood clapped her hands in delight as she reached out to her husband. Lord Sternwood crossed the room to join his wife, and they stood together, waiting for Emilia to do the same.

Although Emilia felt as though she might faint at any moment, she could not muster the strength to ask her parents for a reprieve. This should have been the happiest time of her life—for her parents, it was.

With feet of clay, she stood, forcing a smile to match their joy, and followed them slowly from the room. She wondered why she could walk so steadily on a floortilting on its axis. Why could she put one foot in front of another when a great chasm had opened beneath her, ready to swallow her away from this world and into oblivion?

Everything is over now. I cannot refuse the duke. My father has given him his blessing. If only I had foreseen this. If only Adam had not waited.

They walked as a family into the great hall, the high ceilings dancing in the candlelight. A myriad of fabrics met Emilia’s gaze, a swirling array of purples, reds, and greens as the women and men walked about, waiting for the event that would mark the true beginning of Christmas.

Emilia stumbled a little, drawing away from her parents and seeking refuge within the crowd around her. Thankfully, most of the people present were too enthralled by what was to come to analyse her behaviour too closely.

Four footmen had gathered at the doorway to the room behind the guests. The log itself was magnificent, twice as long as the year before and three times as thick. The men carrying it were already breathing hard, and as her mother swept before them, there were many exclamations as the log was carried forward toward the hearth.

Emilia sank further into the crowd, not wanting to catch Charlotte’s eye. Her friend was standing beside Lord Spencer, only inches separating them. For the briefest moment, Emilia felt no happiness for them, only pure, unbridled sorrow and jealousy.

As she stood silently staring after her parents, a servant passed by and handed her a glass of sherry. It took everything in Emilia’s power not to drink it in one gulp. She felt as though she might swoon; her head dizzy, the blood pounding in her ears, and each sound in the room was loud and alarming, as though magnified to five times its normal volume.

Her mother had reached the hearth, and the whole room was admiring the log against a background of excited chatter.

The log had a wide circumference and a large section at the front that twisted outward and almost split it in two. When she had first looked upon it, Emilia had been excited for when it was lit. Now, she looked upon its gnarled surface, and the wood was no longer magnificent; it was twisted and scarred—beastly and ugly to her eyes.

The crowd stood in rapturous silence as Lord and Lady Sternwood came to stand beside the log as it was placed before the fire on a special brace fashioned for the purpose.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” her mother called out. “With this log, we honour the spirit of the season and the warmth of home and hearth. May its flame burn bright and bring light to the darkest days. We ask for health, happiness, and prosperity to all within these walls, and may its warmth bless our friends and family near and far.”

Emilia’s eyes sought out Adam in the semi-darkness. Like all the others, hewas watching her parents, but now and again, his gaze would move about the room as though searching for something. Emilia sank further into the crowd,horrified at the thought of him seeing her now. He would never be able to look at her with kindness and understanding again.

“As we kindle this fire,” her mother continued, carrying a taper toward the log as the footmen lifted it and placed it into the hearth itself.“May it carry away the troubles of the past and guide us with hope into the new year. To peace, joy, and good fortune for all."

Lady Sternwood sprinkled the log with salt, which cracked and popped in the nearby flames, and Lord Sternwood poured whisky over the top. The resulting flame along its length was blue in colour and violent at first, as the crowd went wild with applause as the log was lit and everyone toasted the event.

Emilia drank her sherry in one gulp now, her fingers flexing so firmly against the stem of the glass that she thought she might break it.

Peace, joy, and good fortune will never be in my future. I shall never be happy again .

Adam watched the bright orange flames illuminate the enraptured faces before the hearth. He looked about the crowd, eager to find Emilia and toast the lighting of the log with her. Lady Sternwood’s words had filled him with renewed hope and gratitude for the life he was to begin with her. He could not wait to celebrate by her side.

Turning, he finally spied her at the back of the room. She looked terribly pale, and he felt a jolt in his gut at the sight of her expression. Frowning, he moved slowly between the guests toward her, eager to ascertain the reason for her unhappiness and to do all he could to make her smile again.

However, before he could, there was another stirring in the crowd, and Elderbridge stepped forward in front of Lord and Lady Sternwood, his glass raised.

Adam paused, not wishing to appear rude by continuing to make his way through the guests in so small a group and waited for the duke to make his toast before returning to Emilia.

“My lords, ladies and gentlemen,” the duke shouted over the hubbub of voices, and everyone fell silent again. For a long moment, there was only the sharp crackle of the log behind them and the quiet clink of glasses as the servants moved about the room.

“I have another announcement to make,” the duke said with a smile, his glass still raised. “I would like to make a second toast. The first, I will repeat, for it was of an excellent and worthy nature and should be celebrated with the joy of the season behind it.” Everyone raised their glasses with him and Adam began to move, but it was clear the duke was not finished yet.

“Indeed,” Benedict Easton rumbled on, “Lady Sternwood’s words filled me with much greater joy than any other in this room. The depth of my own happiness lies with this family, after all.” He looked around him, a smug smile curling his features as he sniffed and raised his glass for a second time. “I would like to announce the news that I am engaged to Lady Emilia Sterling and could not be happier to celebrate with you all tonight on this most auspicious occasion.”

With that, the duke turned, his eyes searching the crowd just as Adam had done. He lifted a hand, and, like a ghost moving through the room, Emilia emerged and walked toward him. Her expression was impossible to read, utterly blank and devoid of feeling.

At the front of the room, her parents watched on with fond smiles. Lord Sternwood raised his glass, and the room all toasted the happy couple.

Adam stood stock still as the crowd began to applaud. The sights and sounds around him faded into a muted blur. He stood in a vacuum of nothingness, numb and utterly broken.

On the edge of his hearing, he thought he heard the faint chime of a pianoforte, a lively tune that splintered into being and was then cut off abruptly on a discordant note, the sound ebbing away, as though it had never been there at all.