5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

E liza closed and locked her door, securing herself inside her chamber, finally free from Nick’s presence. She couldn’t help but glance at him throughout dinner, and every time she did, he stared back at her. His presence drove her to distraction. Heat pooled between her thighs, and the dampness from her wet core caused her to shift in her chair throughout dinner.

She flirted with Viscount Irvine, who had been seated next to her during the meal. He was a notorious rake, but at least if she selected him to release the building tension with a bit of physical attention, he wouldn’t try to convince her to marry him. She had to be careful who she selected for such an endeavor because if the gentleman wished to wed her badly enough, all he would have to do was threaten her reputation.

Digging through her trunk, she found Nick’s letter. She read it to herself and then read it again for good measure. She needed to remind herself why they would never be, and it was all his fault. He threw her away, lying and tricking her.

There was a soft knock at the door, and Eliza’s breath caught. She tucked the letter back into her trunk, too embarrassed to let anyone know that she carried it with her. That she still needed to read it, and often.

“My lady,” Dot said, from the other side of the door. “Shall I help you ready yourself for bed?”

She unlocked the door and allowed Dot to enter. Once Eliza was out of her gown and dressed in her night rail, Dot brushed and plaited her hair.

As soon as Dot took her leave for the evening, Eliza locked the door again. She wasn’t sure if she thought she was locking others out or attempting to lock herself in.

Nick was even more handsome, which she wouldn’t have thought possible. His skin was slightly more tan than she remembered and his shoulders were broader. She wondered if his muscles were still just as taut beneath his coats. They certainly appeared as if they had grown larger. She hated that she’d noticed and even more so that her notice brought her wanton needs even closer to the surface.

She climbed into the bed and stared at the top of the canopy that covered the large four-poster. She closed her eyes and his naked chest flooded her thoughts again. Forgetting about the letter and the reminder of his cruelty, the throbbing between her legs became almost unbearable. She imagined him licking his full lips before he positioned himself to kneel between her legs.

Grasping the side of her night rail, she pulled it up so that her wet heat was exposed to the cool air of the room. Eliza ran her hands down her body until she reached the places where she imagined his tongue might explore. She used her fingers and imagined Nick’s tongue circling and flicking her pearl where she touched herself. She increased her pace and used her other hand to slip two fingers inside of herself, fantasizing that the fingers were Nick’s.

As she came closer to her release, she bit her bottom lip to keep from crying out and rocked her hips against her hands until she claimed every second of pleasure from her climax. She dropped her hands to her sides and worked to return her breathing to normal.

She had imagined similar scenes many times over the years. She told herself she fantasized about Nick every time because he was the only man she had made love to, fucked, sucked, licked, and everything in between. But the intensity of her orgasm outed her as a liar. None of that could happen again. Nick was cruel and never cared for her. He didn’t deserve her thoughts or her desire, even if he wasn’t aware that she desired him still. She could only imagine the haughty look he’d give her if he knew she allowed him to fuck her in her fantasies.

Perhaps she should consider a tryst with the handsome Lord Irvine in earnest. She needed her urges to be sated and soon if she had any hope of preventing Nick from consuming her every thought.

“What is this mood of yours?” Juliet asked the next morning, her eyes fixed on Eliza as she moved about her chamber. She attempted to appear as if she were looking for something, when in actuality she hoped to delay being in Nick’s presence again.

Eliza huffed. “I’m not in a mood. It is a perfectly delightful day.”

Juliet laughed at her, causing Eliza to roll her eyes in annoyance that her friend was far too accurate for her liking, but she didn’t wish to explain why sleep didn’t come easy for her the previous evening. Or why she would suggest they took trays in her room if she thought her friend would agree to the notion.

“You could just tell me what is troubling you,” Juliet pressed.

“I didn’t sleep well. It’s nothing of import.” She glanced over at her friend and saw the look of disbelief spread across her face. “I am just looking for my hair clip, and we can depart.” Dot had already tended to Eliza’s hair, which she expected Juliet to quickly point out.

To her surprise, and gratitude, Juliet accepted the excuse and didn’t press her further. She used the quiet in the room to center her thoughts and prepare herself for seeing Nick again. It was an inconvenience they would both have to accept, and she could only hope it irked him even more than it had her.

Deciding she couldn’t prolong the inevitable any longer, she grabbed a hair clip from her vanity and pressed it into her hair.

“Very well. Let’s join the others downstairs.”

“I will get you to tell me what this is about,” Juliet said as they exited Eliza’s chamber.

“I told you…”

“And I don’t believe you.”

Eliza couldn’t be all that irritated since her friend was right. She would tell her about Nick later when she was ready to speak of the matter. Juliet would be introduced to him sooner or later, so she couldn’t keep her secret for much longer.

They made their way to the breakfast room in silence, their arms looped together. Eliza’s heart stopped when she saw Nick sitting with some of the other gentlemen at the table. She glanced away as soon as he noticed her, not in an attempt to play some sort of game of hard-to-get, but to ensure Juliet didn’t take notice.

Going straight to the sideboard, they each prepared their breakfast plates. Eliza wasn’t all that hungry, but she wouldn’t give the liar sitting at the breakfast table the satisfaction of thinking for even a moment that he had affected her to such an extent.

When they had finished making their selections, Eliza nudged Juliet to the other end of the table, taking their seats as far away from Nick as she could get them. Viscount Duncan followed them and took the seat on the other side of Juliet.

The upside to the gentleman joining them was that he spoke to Juliet and kept her friend’s attention. Anything to keep Juliet from asking her why she pushed her food around on her plate or why her mood hadn’t improved.

“I do hope you won’t mind my company, my lady,” a man’s voice said from her right.

Lord Irvine dropped into the empty seat beside her .

“Not at all, my lord,” she returned, shifting her full focus to the broad-shouldered, attractive man. If she were going to consider taking another to her bed, he would certainly be a pleasing option.

“You look lovely this morning if you will allow me to say so,” he said, the words rolling off his tongue smoothly.

She fought a smirk, smart enough to know that he was employing his rakish charms on her. Instead, she flashed him a demure grin. “I would hardly turn down a compliment from a handsome gentleman.”

He had a cocky air to his response, and she contemplated deflating the man’s ego just a bit. But it would suit her if she decided to entertain more physical things with him. The man would at least have enough experience to make it worth her while. Her cheeks reddened at the thought of such wicked things, and she hated how her thoughts flashed back to Nick.

It was a wise choice on her part to ensure they sat on the same side of the table as him, if not she might have looked down the table to catch a glimpse of him. But if she attempted to do so in their current seating arrangement, all she would see would be Juliet and Lord Duncan.

Lord Irvine droned on about some of the latest on dit about some of their mutual acquaintances until it was time for all the guests to make their way out to the yard for games. Once they had all assembled, everyone shifted their focus to their hostess.

“I want everyone to pair off in teams for a game of Pall Mall. There will be a prize for the winning team,” Lady Ockham explained to everyone who had formed a circle around her in the grass.

Unable to stop herself, Eliza glanced at Nick out of the corner of her eye, half expecting him to be watching her as he had done the previous evening. She fought the twinge of jealousy when she noted he was in conversation with Lady Preston.

She was a beautiful blond widow, and Nick already appeared far too familiar with her. Not that she cared. He was nothing to her, and he could do whatever he wished. It was of no matter to her if he took up with the lady.

In a moment that she refused to admit was jealousy, Eliza noted Lord Irvine standing nearby and caught his attention with a sultry grin.

“Would you do me the honor of partnering with me, my lady?” he asked, stepping closer to her.

She almost laughed out loud at how easy it had been to lure him in.

“I would be delighted, my lord.” She grinned up at him through her lashes.

She glanced back at Lord Irvine and caught him staring at her chest. Deciding to toy with his notice, she inhaled slowly, causing her chest to rise. Eliza smiled to herself when he licked his bottom lip. It wouldn’t be the least bit difficult to hold the man’s attention if she should want it.

Lady Ockham caught everyone’s attention again. “Everyone line up here and select your mallet. You will share with your partner, taking turns for each swing. The first team to get their ball through the final wicket shall be the winners.”

“Please, select for us, my lady,” Lord Irvine said, motioning towards the stand of mallets. There were eight total couples playing, while a group of spectators watched from under the cover of tents.

Eliza noted that Juliet had been paired with Lord Duncan and wondered if her friend might have an interest in the gentleman. Eliza would speak with her about the man later. She didn’t care for the way he ogled her friend when she wasn’t looking, and she heard many rumors about his gambling debts. He wasn’t for her friend if she thought to make a match with him.

Stepping up to the rack, she looked over the mallets and grabbed the red one, right as Lady Preston selected the purple one from beside her.

“I hope you won’t mind purple, Nick, but it is my favorite color.”

Eliza did her best not to scoff and roll her eyes at the lady, noting that Nick had already given her leave to use his given name. In truth, she took no issue with Lady Preston, normally, but she struggled to tamp down her desire to wipe the smile off the lady’s face.

Eliza spun back towards Lord Irvine. “I got us red, my lord. It’s such a passionate color, is it not?” she asked, looping her arm in his so he could escort her to the first wicket. Cheesy at best, and she should be embarrassed of herself, but it was all she could come up with, with so much rage coursing through her. She told herself again that it wasn’t jealousy, just the residual rage that was well within her right to have after a man used lies and charms to get between your legs.

“I quite agree,” he said, leaning down so he spoke close to her ear, heating it with his breath.

Eliza noted that she had no reaction to the man, which irritated her almost as much as being in Nick’s presence. Irvine was handsome, to be sure, with his dark chestnut hair and intense eyes almost the same color, but her body felt nothing.

There was no electricity or draw like she had from the moment she saw Nick emerging from the stream that day years ago, water dripping from his taut form. But eventually, she must will her body to move on from the memories.

She shook off her thoughts and glanced back at Nick. That time he met her gaze and his jaw clenched. What right did he have to react in such a way? While he was all too familiar with a young widow who would gladly invite him to her bed, and she was left wound up and still desiring a man who had broken and betrayed her.

Everyone lined up to await their turn. Lady Ockham randomly assigned colors to the turn order. Nick and Lady Preston would take their turn after she and Lord Irvine took theirs, so they lined up beside them.

The heat and electricity she hadn’t felt for Lord Irvine hit her like a boulder when Nick came to stand on her other side. She angled herself away from him, facing herself more towards her partner, hoping Nick wouldn’t notice her flushed skin. And to keep herself from grabbing Nick and pulling him against her, which was something that she just could not do.

Once the game began, the location of their balls at the end of each turn helped to put a bit of distance between her and Nick, which she was thankful for. Eliza tried to focus on light conversation with her partner. She learnt more about his country home and his beloved horse. She told him of some of her favorite books and he laughed when she confessed how she loathed embroidery. A hatred that she and Juliet had bonded over.

The conversation helped distract her from watching Nick. She found she enjoyed chatting with Lord Irvine, even if she didn’t have the urge to bed him. Perhaps the urge would build as she spent more time with him. Her needs certainly weren’t going anywhere.

The game progressed with Eliza and Lord Irvine edging out Nick and Lady Preston for the win. Eliza clasped her hands at her chest, cheering their victory.

“What do you say, my lady? How about a kiss for the winner?” Lord Irvine asked.

She stepped closer to him and placed a quick kiss on his cheek, far closer to the corner of his lips than was proper. Let Nick stew over that. “I’d say you earned it,” she said, smiling up at him through her lashes.

Lady Ockham approached them with a bundle of flowers and a bottle of brandy. “For the winners,” she said, handing Eliza the bouquet and Lord Irvine the bottle.

“Perhaps we might share some of this one evening,” Lord Irvine said, holding the bottle up to Eliza.

She glanced at Nick, who had his hands fisted at his sides and his jaw set in a firm line as he observed the scene.

“I would enjoy that very much,” she replied to Lord Irvine. Looking back at Nick, she smirked at him. She wasn’t yet certain she would encourage a physical arrangement with Lord Irvine, but at least Nick would know that she could do so if she wished. And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

“I would like to put these in my chamber,” Eliza said, nodding towards her flowers. “I shall join the others on the terrace after a brief respite.” In truth, she just wanted to get away from Nick.

She moved across the grass and climbed the steps to the terrace to reenter the house. She neared the staircase, when suddenly someone grabbed her by her arm. Looking up, she saw Nick’s stern expression as he pulled her into the nearest room. He closed the door behind them and locked it.

“What do you think you are doing?” he asked.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not certain what you mean, nor am I aware what business it is of yours.”

He stepped closer to her, and she raised her chin, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of moving away from him.

“You know exactly what I refer to. I won’t allow Irvine to dally with you.”

She shrugged her shoulders and glanced at the bouquet in her hand. “You would certainly know about dallying.”

He released a low growl. “I mean it.”

“So do I. And what exactly do you think you are going to do about it?” she asked, stepping so close to him that their chests almost touched, holding the flowers to the side. His familiar, intoxicating scent drove her to distraction. Her thoughts muddled in her head and dampness coated her thighs .

He circled her waist with his arms and pulled her against him. She dropped the flowers to the floor and wrapped her arms around his neck just as he pressed his lips against hers in a searing kiss. She opened for him, and his tongue swept into her mouth. His hands massaged her back and held her tight against him, then she undulated her body hard against his groin, driven wild by the hard bulge in his breeches that pressed against her.

He groaned and gripped the fabric of her skirts, raising them so he could dive his hand between her legs. She moaned against his mouth when his fingers teased her slit.

“So wet,” he said. “Is that for him or me?”

Her eyes rolled back in her head when he massaged her pearl, coating it with the wetness from her folds. Her traitorous body wanted everything he could give her. And as much as she’d like to believe herself a more strong-minded woman, she didn’t have the willpower to resist.

“Answer me, Eliza,” he whispered, his breathing ragged and rough against her ear.

She shook her head, unwilling to admit to him that it was all for him.

He laughed before licking and kissing her neck. “Well, if you wish for me to make you come, you must say so,” he said, kissing along her collarbone and stilling the hand that had been teasing her mons .

“Nick,” she moaned.

“Yes, Eliza?” He brushed his thumb a single time against her nub. “Was there something you wanted?”

She tightened her hold on him. “Touch me,” she pleaded. “Fuck me with your fingers.”

“Who do you wish to make come undone, Eliza?” he ground out.

“You,” she whispered. “Only you.” She should have regretted that she allowed herself to make such an admission, but she lost her good sense with his hand between her thighs.

Nick released a low growl and took her lips again. He edged her back until she was pressed against a nearby wall. He clasped her hands and pinned them to the wall over her head, holding them in place with a single hand. Then he used his free hand to raise her skirts again and resume the attention where she throbbed for him.

She cried out when he slid two fingers inside of her.

“As much as I love to hear you moan, you must be quiet,” he said, pressing his lips against hers again.

He increased his pace with his fingers, and she hooked her leg around his hip, causing him to groan into their kiss. When his thumb brushed her pearl, she moaned, and he massaged her tongue harder with his.

With only a few more thrusts of his fingers, she shook and rocked her body against him to draw out her climax for as long as she could, suckling his tongue to keep from crying out.

When she stilled and set her foot back down on the floor, he withdrew his hand and brought his fingers covered in her climax to her lips, then ran the tips of his fingers along her bottom lip before he brought them to his own mouth, sucking and licking them clean. Never once did his eyes leave hers.

She poked her tongue out and licked the wetness from her bottom lip, and then he took her lips again, their tongues mating when she parted her lips to allow him entrance, tasting herself on his tongue.

He released her hands from above her head and shifted back to capture her gaze again. He appeared to contemplate her, and she would have given anything to know what he was thinking. But she was far too proud to ask.

“I think we should discuss what occurred between us,” he said.

“Just now?” she asked, scoffing. “I’m uncertain what there is to discuss. Surely you don’t require words of gratitude.” If he intended to make her feel bad for taking the pleasure he freely offered her, he would find himself disappointed. If he were going to afford her the opportunity, she would take it, and that was that.

He took a small step back. “No, Eliza,” he said. “We should discuss what happened three years ago. ”

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t wish to discuss that,” she said, brushing down her skirts. “The past is in the past. This changes nothing.”

She stepped around him and picked up the bouquet from the floor.

“Eliza, please.”

“I achieved an orgasm, so you have served your purpose,” she spat, although she knew she wanted so much more from him. “I don’t wish to hear a hollow apology from you.”

His jaw dropped as if she had struck him. “Why on earth should I apologize to you?” he asked.

She scoffed and hated herself for the tears that instantly formed in her eyes. The man was even more cruel that she believed him capable, and she already knew he was one of the worst men who had ever walked the earth. “You cannot be serious,” she said. “You are nothing but a wretched bounder.”

Eliza dashed away before he could stop her, unlocking the door and quickly getting herself on the other side of it. She hurried up the stairs, doing her best to keep from drawing notice and feeling grateful as she settled herself on the other side of her chamber door. She must find a way to evict Nicholas Craven from all of her desires, and her heart.