36. Jax

Jax

I stare down at his pale face. The white hospital sheets make his skin look too pale. I want to curl myself around him and hold him close so that I can make it all go away.

"Gideon, what did you do?" I murmur and brush his hair back from his head.

Rafe comes in carrying a cup of coffee. He sits beside me and pushes it into my hands.

"You're okay."

I lean into him, wrap my arms around him, and cling.

"I'm okay."

"I've missed you these last few days," Rafe whispers and squeezes me harder.

I end up curled up on the bed beside Gideon. Dane gets up and closes the hospital door. Hours pass with just the beeping of the machine.

We talk softly amongst ourselves, whispering stories and plans. We talk to Gideon over and over, calling him, demanding, bribing, blackmail. All of it. Nothing works.

He lays in that bed with no sign of being here.

"He came to me," I say. "I would have died, but Astaire and Mason were there. They kept breathing for me, pushing the smoke and heat away. It was exhausting them. I…" I trail off, feeling desperately sad.

"Jax…" Dane moans .

"Then he appeared. Gideon, as he's been with me in his ghost form since I woke up in the hospital after I killed Louis." I start to cry. "How did he leave Mason's body?"

Rafe shakes his head. "I have no idea. He just dropped like a stone. I fought to keep his heart going while Dane went in after you."

I sit up and lean over Gideon. "You have to come back, G. I need you."

All at once, there's pressure in the room. So strong it makes the hairs rise on my arms. I glance around, but Dane and Rafe are staring with wide eyes. Neither appear to be able to move.

I'm so tired. I lean over Gideon, whimpering as darkness snags me under.

I don't know what happens, but I'm standing in that forest with my mother again. She's wearing a blue dress, and she looks happy as she spins around.

"I'm so proud of you, baby."

"Mum, how…why are we here?"

"Isn't this place magical? I know you want to find it, but you will if you trust yourself. Just remember, you know the way. It's in here." She taps her chest and beams at me.

I feel so sad as she moves close to me and hugs me. She was so young when she died. We hold each other tight, and then I'm a child again, my tiny hand in her larger one.

"Let's have some fun."

We run and laugh, and she picks me up and cuddles me. It's a perfect memory, and I think it's a true one. I think she's giving it back to me. We pick flowers, and she tells me she loves me. We spend an eternity rolling in the grass.

"Ah, if only this could last forever."

"Mama, I love you. "

"I love you, too, darling. But…it's done. You're safe now, and I have one last gift I can give you. One last gift, and I'll go into the light and leave you be. But I will always be with you. And I am so proud of you."

I'm crying, I'm so sad, but none of it makes any sense. I'm confused. Her expression fills with sorrow, but when she smiles, she's so transcendent. She spins and then kneels in front of me, her flowery white dress shimmering with rainbow light.

"My Jackie. Live a good life, baby."

She plunges her hand into my throat.

"WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP!"

I'm screaming the words, straddling Gideon, my knees on either side of his waist, my face half a foot from his, and I'm screaming, and I can't stop. I can feel her inside me, forcing the words out. My fingers curl into the bed on either side of him, ripping into the sheets. My tendons tighten until I think they might snap. The pain makes my voice harsh.

"Gideon!" I scream. My back arches, the invisible hand in my throat tightens, squeezes harder, and then it lets go. I slump, panting.

I jump backwards, almost falling off the bed, when Gideon's eyes shoot open wide. He sits up, hugging me to him in one smooth move. It's like he hasn't been asleep. At all. But I'm too amazed to do anything but gape at him.

"What?" He rasps out.

There's banging on the door, but I don't care. I laugh and cry, and Dane is there, and Rafe, and we did it. We survived.

It's a miracle.

"I heard you calling," Gideon whispers and strokes my back.

"I needed you," I say and wipe my nose. "Gideon, fuck. I needed you so bad," I say softly. I laugh and reach for someone's hand, squeezing it. "Oh, fucking hell, Gideon, I need you. Don't leave me, you promised."

He reaches up and puts a hand over my heart, then draws a cross.

"Cross my heart," he murmurs.

"An act of God," Dane says in awe.

Rafe just rushes forward, tears streaming down his face, and buries his face in Gideon's neck.

"Oh, my god," Dane whispers and staggers to the wall, reaching out to grip it to hold himself up. "Leroy was right."

The doctors burst in, and Dane, Rafe, and I are sent out of the room. We protest, we fight, but in the end, the doctors banish us. An hour later, we're allowed back in. The doctors are happy, yet annoyed, because they can't figure out what kept Mason in his coma.

It's a mystery.

None of us are volunteering any information.

I crawl up on the bed, slipping under the sheets. Gideon strokes my arms, leans down, and touches our lips together. I run my hands over his shoulders. He's warm, and he's alive, and he's here in my arms.

I let out a small sob. "I thought I'd lost you."

"I told you, not even death would keep me from you," he whispers.

I sob, and when he lifts the skirt of my dress and slowly pushes his fingers into me, I cling to him. My ghost. He slowly pumps in and out, then withdraws his fingers and strokes my clit, only to return.

We move in small movements but don't break eye contact. I roll my hips into his, the pleasure and tension coiling inside me. A fire that's ever-growing when he's around.

"You came back. "

"I'll always come back," he whispers and brushes his hand down my body, gripping my ass.

"Terrance."

His eyes flare, and he shoves deeper into me. "Every moment since the one where I met you. Every single moment, I would do it again. If it means that we end up here."

I lean forward, wrapping myself more firmly around him, rolling my hips. He hisses and withdraws his hand, bringing his wet fingers to his lips and sucking them clean.

He rolls us so I'm underneath him and thrusts into me with long, hard thrusts that push me to the edge. I whimper and wrap my legs around him as he pushes into me.

I hear people talking in the hall and freeze, but Gideon doesn't even slow down.

Someone tries the door.

"Hey, these doors are locked."

Dane snickers. "Wrap it up, you two."

Gideon adjusts his angle, pushing harder into me. I groan and nip at his throat.

"We'll spend the rest of forever together," Gideon whispers.

I pant, my soul splintering along with my body as I shatter around his cock. My eyes roll, and I arch my back, shuddering under him.

He pushes in three more times and then growls in my ear. "Cross my heart."

Rafe pulls me out of the bed just as the door unlocks. A very suspicious doctor glares at us, but Gideon distracts them with a charming smile and some ridiculous questions.

Rafe holds me, snickering into my hair. He holds me in the comforting circle of his arms. My solid and reliable Rafael. I bury my face in his shoulder, breathing his scent. "Love you, baby."

"I love you, too. "

I look across the bed at Dane. He stares at me with no smile. Just this burning intensity. He came into a building on fire with a serial killer to save me. Gideon almost died again, a third time, to keep me safe. And Rafael went to a Detective and told her a story so outlandish she should never have believed it, and yet, we stand here, free, because of him.

Three men worth fighting for. Worth living for. Three hearts that belong to me.

I exhale roughly as a slow smile blooms across his lips.

"Forever," he mouths.

I nod. Forever.

It's a promise.