Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

T he family gathered around the table for dinner that night. Matthew was dining with them as well, so the table was more laden with food than it ordinarily would have been, and the place felt warm and inviting. At least, it might have if Edwina had deigned to look her sister in the face.

“You don’t need to be so distant with me,” Lavinia said. “We’re still family, Edwina.”

“Of course, we are,” Edwina agreed. “But I don’t feel as if I can trust you right now, Lavinia. Not after you forced me into this predicament.”

“You make it sound as if I’ve done something horrid to you. You’ll be going on some dates with a perfectly nice gentleman.”

“He wasn’t nice today.”

Her father set down his fork. “You saw him today?”

“Yes, I did,” Edwina replied. “He came by during breakfast while Lavinia and I were eating. We all went for a walk together.”

“I see,” her father said slowly. “Well, how fortunate. Did you have a nice time?”

“No, I didn’t!” Edwina declared. “That’s what I’m trying to say, Father. He wasn’t nice to me at all.”

“What did he do that bothered you?”

“He…” Edwina hesitated. “…told me that he would make me like him.”

“And…that angered you?”

“It was the way he said it,” Edwina observed. “He didn’t sound like he was trying to build a friendship with me. It was more like a threat.”

“How could something like that be a threat?” her father wanted to know.

“No, I know what Edwina means, I think,” Matthew said. “This is why I wasn’t sure about Allan. I know that we know him well. He’s a family friend. But he isn’t the sort of man anyone wants for his sister.”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” Edwina agreed. “He’s not trying to win me over because he wants to get to know me better. It’s because he wants to prove he can do it. He knows no other gentleman has ever been able to impress me, and he wants to be the first because in his mind, that will make him superior to all the others who have tried. It’s a game to him, nothing more. I’m a game to him.”

“That’s right,” Matthew agreed. “I don’t like that he might treat Edwina that way. She doesn’t deserve that.”

“Matthew, you must admit that she’s had a great deal of luck in attracting suitors lately,” Lavinia said. “Someone is at the house almost every day trying to spend time in her company. Everyone is so curious about her—so eager to see whether a bit of Allan’s good fortune might rub off on them. Edwina might not be interested in a courtship with Allan—and you’re right, perhaps she shouldn’t be. But this has put her in the public eye, and we’ll find the person she does belong with.”

“I don’t think you should dismiss the idea of a match with the Duke,” their father argued. “Look at how happy you are with your duke, Lavinia.”

“That’s different,” Matthew interjected. “Seth is a very different sort of man, Father.”

“We didn’t always realize that,” their father pointed out. “We had reservations about him at first. Don’t you remember?”

“Only because he was so closed off and distant,” Edwina spoke up. “We thought he might not be a very kind person. But once he began to open up, once we all got to know him, we realized that he’s a good man and a good match for Lavinia. That’s not the case with the Duke of Harbeck at all. He has no hidden depths. He’s simply a scoundrel. That’s all there is to him and all there ever will be, and I want nothing to do with him.”

Lavinia was beginning to look uncomfortable. “Edwina, you know I made these arrangements out of a desire to help you,” she said.

“You didn’t even ask me if I wanted to be helped.”

“You’re right. I should have…I don’t know. I should have said something to you, I suppose. If you really don’t want to see these dates through…I can talk to Seth. I can have Seth talk to Allan. Perhaps we can find a way out of it for you.”

It was all Edwina wanted. She ached to take her sister up on the offer.

But a part of her resisted.

It was the stubborn part of her buried deep within that hated the idea of not rising to a challenge. She felt that the Duke of Harbeck had issued her a dare of sorts by claiming that he would make her fall for him, that she wouldn’t be able to resist. She felt the need to prove that she could, in fact, resist him. If she walked away now, it would be like admitting defeat, and that was the last thing Edwina wanted to do.

It was her father who spoke. “You can’t cancel the dates,” he said firmly. “Edwina should do this. There’s every possibility that the Duke will do what he said, you know, and make you fall for him, Edwina. And then you would be a duchess, just as your sister is.” He beamed. “I can’t think of anything better for my two daughters.”

Edwina couldn’t think of anything worse. She knew that Lavinia was happy with her life, and she was glad for her sister’s happiness, but she herself was not going to find happiness in the same way. That wasn’t what was right for her.

And it certainly wasn’t going to happen with the Duke of Harbeck, of all the miserable people.

She allowed her father to have his opinion and didn’t argue because she didn’t want the dates to be canceled. She wasn’t going to enjoy them in the way her sister thought she should, but in her own way, she would have a good time. Each date she returned from having not fallen victim to the Duke’s charms would be a victory, something she could hold on to. Something that would show the gentlemen of the ton—all these new suitors she had lately—that they were wrong to try, wrong to hope. Even the most dashing and charming gentlemen of the bunch wouldn’t get anywhere with her, and the rest of them would see that they ought to give it up.

And she would finally have some peace.

“I don’t mind going on the dates,” she decided. “He’ll discover for himself that he’s wasting his time with me—that it’s never going to amount to anything.”

“I expect you to give him a chance, Edwina,” her father said.

“No,” Matthew countered. “She shouldn’t. He’s not good for her.”

Edwina ignored them both. “Excuse me,” she said, rising from the table. “I think I’m finished eating.”

“Edwina,” Matthew objected, “we’re not done talking about this.”

But Edwina was finished hearing about it. She didn’t let them call her back. Instead, she strode from the room and hurried up the steps leading to her bedroom.

Once there, with the door closed behind her, she settled down on her bed, laid back, and closed her eyes.

This was going to be exceedingly difficult. She wasn’t looking forward to it at all.

But the idea of defying the arrogant Duke of Harbeck—well, that was appealing. She did want to prove to him that he had been wrong to think he could get her attention and favor so easily. He could try as hard as he wanted to, but it was never going to happen—and, in fact, he might end up looking foolish for trying. She knew the Duke wasn’t accustomed to rejection. He was used to being able to charm his way into getting anything and everything he wanted.

Will I be the first lady to ever resist him?

There was something wonderful about that idea. It would be something to be proud of, she thought, resisting where so many other ladies had succumbed. Especially now that she had experienced how alluring he could be for herself. And when it was done, the suitors would stop, and she would finally be free—free to live the life she wanted without having to spend time fending off the advances of unwanted men.

It sounded like a dream come true.

And all she had to do to make it possible was to get through five dates. She could do that. Five dates were nothing at all. She would manage it easily.

There was a knock at her door.

Edwina didn’t particularly want to see any of the members of her family, but she also didn’t want to remain on bad terms with them, and she knew they weren’t happy with her after the way dinner had gone tonight. She went to the door and opened it.

There stood Lavinia. She was holding a cup in her hands. “Hot chocolate,” she explained.

Edwina couldn’t resist that. She stood back and allowed her sister to enter.

It was an old ritual of theirs. Whenever something unpleasant had happened in their childhood, one of them would come to the other’s room with a cup of hot chocolate. This was Lavinia’s way of saying that she hoped things were all right between the two of them. And though Edwina was still frustrated by the situation, she knew that there might be benefits to it—not the benefits her sister had wanted, to be sure, but benefits, nonetheless.

And she could never be angry with Lavinia. It was a wild idea her sister had had, but it stemmed from a place of kindness.

She accepted the cup and took a sip. It was piping hot. Lavinia had done a good job as always.

“I am sorry, you know,” Lavinia said. “Truly, I did think that it would be for the best.”

“I know you did,” Edwina reached out and took her sister’s hand. “I’m not angry. I only wish you remembered more clearly what it felt like to be unmarried and to have your family putting pressure on you about it, Lavinia. As I recall, you had a miserable time of it when Father was trying to arrange your marriage. You were so unhappy. And part of the reason was that he was forever trying to put you together with people of his choosing instead of people you yourself had chosen! You hated the idea of someone else choosing for you. Now that I’m in this situation, it’s as if that version of Father has come back to life. He left me to my own choices all these years, and now, he’s treating me the way he once treated you. I know how much you hated that.”

“I did,” Lavinia agreed. “But, Edwina, my situation isn’t yours, and you know it. You’ve had five years since your debut. Father was going to force me into an arrangement by my second season. He’s much easier on you than he ever was on me, and that’s why Matthew and I feel the need to step in.”

“I’ll go on these dates, but I have no intention of allowing the Duke to win my heart—and no other man ever will either. With a little luck, these five outings will be the very last of my life, and when nothing amounts of it, everyone will accept that I truly am the unattainable spinster and will give up on trying to attain me!”

“Oh, Edwina,” Lavinia sighed. “I only want you to be happy. That’s all I care about. I don’t understand.”

Edwina drank her chocolate quietly.

She knew that her sister didn’t understand.

Lavinia was in love. It was different for her.

She would never understand the way Edwina felt about this.