Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

“ W ell, this is a fine state of affairs.”

The Duke was laughing, and Edwina couldn’t resist laughing along with him. She shook out her sleeves, which had become soaked when she’d thrown out her hands to catch herself, and struggled to her feet.

The Duke stood and held out a hand to her.

She looked up at him, perplexed.

“Allow me to help you.”

Edwina nodded and held out her hand. The Duke took it and pulled her to her feet.

They still stood in the river, and the water rushed around their ankles, but because the current was mild, it was easy to keep their feet. The difficult part was walking along the riverbed, which was slick and uneven. Several times, Edwina lost her footing and found herself clinging to the Duke’s arm in order to remain upright. She was embarrassed by that fact, but at the same time, it pleased her to have a reason to remain close to him, little though she would have liked to admit that out loud.

They reached the water’s edge. The Duke climbed out first, and then, much to Edwina’s surprise, he reached down and swept her up into his arms.

“What are you doing?” she protested. “I’m perfectly capable of walking, Your Grace.”

“I’m sure your skirts are very heavy, soaked in water as they are,” he said. “In fact, I know they are since I’m carrying you.”

“Put me down.”

“I will if you insist, but we’ll move more quickly if you don’t have to fight to walk in those skirts. And besides, I do believe you’ve left a shoe at the bottom of the river, and I wouldn’t want you to injure your foot.”

He was right, though it embarrassed Edwina to realize he had noticed the loss of her shoe. She tucked her foot up inside her skirt. “Very well ,” she said. “Up to the house then and quickly—let’s get this over with.”

“As you wish, Lady Edwina.”

Fortunately, they were on the far side of the house, and there were no other treasure hunters on site. They reached a side door, and the Duke opened it and slipped inside.

“We shouldn’t be alone together,” Edwina told him. “Put me down now, and I’ll go to my room and change. I suggest you do the same.”

He set her down on the floor. “I won’t tell anyone we were together,” he said. “You needn’t worry about your reputation.”

“I’m not worried about my reputation.”

“No, I suppose a spinster has no need to worry about such things,” he agreed. “After all, what could happen to you? You don’t wish to marry anyway, so what difference does it make if no man wants you?”

“You have such a fixation with the fact that I am a spinster,” she marveled. “How can that be a fact of such interest to you—to anyone? Why do you care?”

“I don’t believe I ever said that I cared.”

“But if you didn’t, you wouldn’t bring it up anywhere near as often as you do,” she pointed out. “Sometimes I think you find it to be the most interesting thing about me.”

“That’s certainly not true,” he said. “I can tell you that right now.”

“Then why? Why do you bring it up so much?”

“I think one of the most interesting things about you is how stubborn you are and how independent,” he explained. “I think you wish to be a spinster because of those qualities. You don’t want to marry, and it makes me want to understand you better—to know more about you. That’s why I ask you those questions. It’s not because I’m fascinated with the fact that you are a spinster. It’s because I’m interested in the reason why.”

“But you don’t approve of my reasons,” she said. “You said it yourself. Waiting for love is foolhardy. That’s what you think, isn’t it?”

“I believe that the best reason to marry is that one has found the right person, yes.”

“And you don’t believe love plays any role in that?”

“But what does it matter what I believe?” he asked her. “You are at perfect liberty to hold your own opinions on the subject, Lady Edwina, as I’m sure you do. You don’t need me to agree.”

“You seemed as though you needed us to agree. I can’t imagine why else you would have argued with me about it.”

“Well, that’s what I wanted to apologize to you for,” the Duke said. “That’s why I asked to be paired with you for today’s treasure hunt. I wanted to be with you so that I could apologize for the argument yesterday because I knew that I was in the wrong. I shouldn’t have spoken ill of you like that. I shouldn’t have criticized your approach to marriage. You’re right—if you choose to remain a spinster forever or you decide to marry for love, it has nothing to do with me. I shouldn’t have mentioned it. Can you forgive me?”

She swallowed. He had guessed correctly that she still harbored hard feelings about it, much as she wished she could pretend otherwise.

“I can let it go,” she said. “We can put it behind us.”

“I’m grateful,” he replied.

“But I meant what I said. I don’t believe you and I should continue to see one another. I think we should let go of each other,” she said.

“Why do you think so?”

“You thought so too. Don’t act as if it was only me who felt that way.”

“I was trying to respect you,” he said.

“No. There was more to it than that. You seemed relieved when I made the suggestion. I would like to know why you reacted that way.”

“And you truly can’t believe that it was just out of a desire to give you what I thought you wanted?”

“I’m not a fool, Your Grace, no matter what you might think. You were happy that I decided to let you go.”

“Happy is putting it far too simply.”

“Then what? Explain it to me. Tell me what you felt.”

“I was relieved,” he said. “I had come to see that perhaps the time we spent together was a losing game, that I would never convince you to abandon your stubborn ideology. You must understand, I’ve never struggled so much to win a lady’s favor before. Usually, I find it very easy.”

“I suppose I’m different from the ladies with whom you usually associate.”

“You’re very different from them.”

“And that made you wish to end your relationship with me.”

“You’re the one who said it first,” he reminded her. “You’re the one who said that we ought to stop seeing each other. There’s a limit to how upset you can be with me for simply agreeing to something that you wanted anyway.”

She sighed. “I suppose you’re right,” she admitted.

“I didn’t expect you to give in. You’ve never given in to anything I’ve said before in all the time you and I have known one another.”

“And can’t you see how difficult it’s becoming for me to maintain that?” She gazed up into his eyes, unable to force herself to look away from him now. Her heart was beating so fast and so hard that she was sure he could to hear it, and her skin was flushed and hot. “I try constantly, Your Grace—I fight so hard to keep you at arm’s length. And I fail. Over and over again, I fail.”

“When have you failed? What are you telling me? Do you mean to say that I charmed you after all?”

“You can’t mean to tell me that you didn’t notice it when I kissed you.”

“I kissed you.”

“I didn’t stop you.”

He was silent for a long moment, and Edwina had no idea what he was thinking. She ached to know, and at the same time, she didn’t want to know at all.

At last, he spoke. “Did you want to stop me?” he asked quietly.

She opened her mouth to respond and found that she had no words.

He held up a hand. “Don’t answer yet,” he said. “Don’t answer right away. Please. Take a moment and think about what you truly wanted. If you tell me that you wanted to stop the kiss, and you simply didn’t know how…if you can honestly say that to me, I will beg your pardon and leave you in peace forever. It was certainly never my intention to bring you to any sort of grief. And if that’s what I’ve done, I owe you my most sincere apologies.”

How tempting it was to simply answer yes—to tell him that she had despised the kiss and had wanted nothing to do with it, that she had regretted it every moment since. He would leave her in peace if she managed to say those words. Edwina believed that wholeheartedly. This man was a scoundrel and a rake, but he was not dishonest. He had never been that.

But she couldn’t force herself to say the words. She couldn’t be dishonest, either. She wanted him to know the truth, she realized. She wanted to tell him how wonderful the kiss had been, how much she had enjoyed it…how much she wanted to experience it again.

She couldn’t speak…and yet, he seemed to hear all the words she couldn’t say.

“You did like it,” he murmured. “I knew you did.”

Edwina felt as if she had just run across the grounds. She couldn’t seem to catch her breath, and she felt positively imprisoned by his gaze.

“I never said…” she managed.

“You didn’t say anything. And you didn’t need to. You don’t need to. I won’t make you say it.” He lifted his hand and slowly ran his fingers across her cheek, and she felt the sensation through her whole body. “You’re so unusual, Lady Edwina. So bold—you seem as if you can say anything without trouble. And then something like this happens, and the words won’t leave your lips. You can’t bring yourself to say it. I’ll say it for you. You enjoyed that kiss.”

He was right. He was so right.

“Perhaps you’d like another.”

It was as if he could see into her very soul. She was filled with longing, and it terrified her.

He trailed his fingers down her arm and took her hand. His gaze dropped from her eyes to her lips. Edwina felt positively faint with longing.

“Lady Edwina? Are you in here?”

Lord Kentrow .

The Duke dropped her hand and stepped back quickly. “We must go.”

She felt dizzy at the sudden shift. The kiss that hadn’t happened seemed to linger in the air between them. “I…”

“Go and change out of those things,” he said gruffly, “before you’re seen. You don’t want anyone to see you in a wet gown.”

You saw me in it .

The look on his face was nearly angry, and it occurred to her to wonder whether he was speaking out of jealousy. Perhaps that was why he wanted her to hurry away so quickly—he didn’t want anyone else to see her. Maybe that was more the point than a fear that she shouldn’t want to be seen.

Nevertheless, she turned and hurried up the stairs to change. Her mind was too full of thoughts of that kiss to allow her to remain—she knew that she needed to get away. She wouldn’t be able to keep her head on straight in front of anybody else. She was simply too distraught.

It wasn’t until she was up in her room, away from the Duke and the heat of the moment, that she realized she was chilled in her soaked garments. Being with her had left her so warm that she simply hadn’t noticed it.