Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

“ S he was lovely, wasn’t she?” Allan’s grandmother asked him.

They stood on the front lawn watching as the Baroness and Miss Catherine rode away in their carriage. Allan could feel nothing but happiness at their departure, but he didn’t wish to offend or to speak ill of the young lady now that she was gone.

“She was well-mannered enough,” Allan said. It was the best compliment he felt able to offer.

“You didn’t like her,” his grandmother surmised.

“She was perfectly fine as houseguests go.”

“Yes, but in terms of your search for a duchess. That’s what I’m asking.”

“She is not my duchess. No.”

His grandmother sighed. “I don’t think you can continue to be so particular, Allan. You’re setting yourself up for all sorts of trouble.”

“What trouble could I possibly be setting myself up for, Grandmother?”

“It’s not always going to be as easy for you to find a young lady to marry as it is right now,” she warned him. “At present, you’re considered one of the most eligible gentlemen in the ton. Any young lady would love to marry you, and any mother would love to see her daughter on your arm.”

“I hardly think that’s true.” His thoughts were with Lady Edwina, of course. “I’m sure there are plenty of ladies who would have no interest in me at all.”

“Even if that’s the case, there are just as many who would. But that isn’t my point,” his grandmother said. “My point is that the longer you delay, the more difficult this will be. Perhaps you don’t notice the difficulty right now, but you will. In a few years’ time, all the best-looking young ladies of your age will be married off. Why, I’m sure Miss Catherine has other suitors waiting in the wings. She’s a beauty. No doubt she came to you first because you’re the Duke of Harbeck, but now that you’ve shown her no interest, she’s likely to be married to someone else very quickly.”

“That suits me fine,” Allan said. “I hope she does marry quickly since I have no interest in her and no desire to see her alone and unhappy. It would perhaps be the best thing for everyone involved if she finds a husband without delay.”

“To have that attitude about one young lady is all well and good, but you seem to have it about every young lady you meet.”

“Grandmother, I will find a wife in my own time when I encounter someone who lives up to my standards. I certainly won’t settle before that,” he told her. “And if you meddle in my affairs again, I won’t hesitate to let the affected parties know exactly what you’re doing. I allowed the Baroness and Miss Catherine to stay for the weekend because I had no desire to embarrass you, but it’s not something I intend to tolerate in the future, and you should be aware of that.”

“Oh, Allan. You’re always so stubborn.”

“I simply know my own mind,” Allan said. “I have known for a long time what I’m searching for in a wife. Miss Catherine is frivolous, and her wit is no match for mine. We would soon tire of one another. It would not be an ideal match, nor would she make the sort of impression on the ton I require from my duchess. I need someone on my arm who I can be proud of—someone who reflects well on this household and this family. That’s what my father would have wanted.”

The thought of his father filled him with grief as it always did. At times, it felt as though the only remedy for that grief was the thought of the lady he would marry. When he had her on his arm, he would know that he had fulfilled his parents’ desires.

And that was the reason she needed to be perfect. That was why he could accept nothing less. All these years, since his parents had died, he had done his best to present a charming face to the public and to ensure that everyone saw him as the worthy successor to his father. The lady he married would share that role. They would face society as duke and duchess together, and they would reflect on Allan’s parents, who were no longer here to present their own legacy.

It was an intense burden, but it was one he took very seriously, and he could only marry a lady who took it just as seriously as he did.

“Your father was also my son,” his grandmother reminded him. “I knew him well. I know what he would have wanted.”

“And am I wrong?”

“You’re both right and wrong,” his grandmother informed him. “Your father would have wanted an admirable duchess, it’s true. But more even than that, he would have desired your happiness. He wouldn’t have wanted to see you resign yourself to spending your life alone.”

“I’m hardly resigned to that fate, Grandmother.”

“He also wouldn’t have wanted to see you miss out on a chance to be happy because you delayed things in search of perfection. Perfection does not exist, Allan. You will never find it, no matter how far and wide you search. You must find a way to accept happiness in the form it comes to you.”

Allan shook his head. “This matter is closed for discussion,” he told her. “I know you care for me, Grandmother. You’ve always done so, ever since Mother and Father died. I know you want what’s best. But you must abandon the idea that what’s best for me is accepting a quick marriage to whatever young lady crosses my path.”

“Now, you know perfectly well that that was not what I suggested,” his grandmother told him firmly. “I have never indicated that I thought you ought to settle for someone unworthy. I merely think that you need to correct your idea of what a worthy lady is.”

“I will make this decision in my own time,” Allan told her. “You’ve overstepped, Grandmother. The fact that you would try to make an arrangement on my behalf?—”

“Allan, I never tried to make an arrangement. I merely invited the young lady to spend some time with you.”

“And I indulged you. I will not be so indulgent again,” he warned. “Do not do this—not ever again, Grandmother. I promise you, you shall regret it if you try.”

She shook her head. “After all I’ve done for you,” she said, “raising you since you were a child. You can’t admit that perhaps I might know best when it comes to matters of the heart?”

“An engagement is much more than a matter of the heart. I must find the ideal Duchess of Harbeck. That is my duty . And I fear that duty may be something you understand very little about, Grandmother. Kindly stay out of my affairs from now on.”

He turned and went into the house, leaving his grandmother to watch him go.

He saw her next at dinner that night, and she seemed much chastened. Allan was glad of it. Maybe his words had had the desired impact, and she would think twice before meddling in his affairs again.

She cleared her throat. “An invitation arrived,” she said.

“What? When?”

“About an hour ago.”

“You should have told me straightaway.”

“Don’t be so cross about everything, Allan. You know perfectly well that I’ve only ever meant to help you. I’m sorry I overstepped with Miss Catherine, but surely, we can move on from that now. You’re not going to remain angry with me.”

No, he wasn’t. He did know that she cared for him, and though his irritation with her wasn’t exactly behind him, he was ready to accept that she knew she had gone wrong. “All right,” he said. “What’s this invitation, then?”

“The Duke and Duchess of Loxburgh are having a party, and we’re to attend.”

Allan frowned. “They didn’t have a party last season.”

“I suppose they’ve decided to establish a new tradition. Such a thing is hardly unusual.”

“Perhaps. Or maybe they’re only doing this because of Lady Edwina and their desire to see her married.”

His grandmother laughed. “A whole party to find a husband for the unattainable spinster. One can hardly say that the young lady doesn’t know how to draw attention to herself!”

“As she should,” Allan said. “Or rather—she should if what she wants is to find herself a husband, but we all know that she wants nothing of the kind, so I can’t imagine what she thinks she’s doing.”

“You know as well as I that Lady Edwina was considered a diamond in her debut season,” Allan’s grandmother said. “She had no need to go to these lengths to get attention. If attention was what she wanted, she had it at the time. No, you mark my words, these are the machinations of her family. They haven’t given up on finding her a suitable match. You can hardly blame them after the sister did so well for herself. That marriage to His Grace, the Duke of Loxburgh, was quite the coup for the Duchess.”

“Oh, I daresay Seth was as happy with his lot as his bride was,” Allan observed. “But it’s a rare marriage in which both parties consider themselves equally advantaged. If it was always that way, the season wouldn’t be the game of chess that it is.”

“You have that right,” his grandmother agreed. “Even if you’ve understood nothing else I’ve tried to tell you?—”

“Grandmother, enough.”

She held up a hand in surrender. “The point is that you clearly do understand one thing—the season is a game. Finding the perfect match is a game. You must be willing to play that game. Perhaps at this house party, you will finally claim your prize.”

“Perhaps,” Allan said quietly, though he didn’t share her confidence. “I don’t know that there will be any ladies there apart from those I’ve already met, and if I’m not to meet anybody new…”

“Your duchess may well be someone you’ve already met,” his grandmother said. “Perhaps someone you haven’t taken a proper look at just yet—but once you do, you will realize she’s the right one for you.”

“It seems unlikely to me.”

“Lady Edwina will be there, of course.”

Allan hummed noncommittally. He hadn’t told his grandmother that he and Lady Edwina had agreed not to see one another again. He wouldn’t tell her now, either, though the truth was that he questioned how Lady Edwina would respond to the sight of him if he showed his face at this party. She wouldn’t wish to socialize with him, to be sure, but perhaps she would like it best if he refrained from attending at all.

Well, and what of that? She could decline to see him, but she couldn’t have him removed from society at large. Seth was one of his best friends, and Allan had every right to attend a party. It was the kind of thing he would have done without a second thought before all this business with Lady Edwina, and he could think of no reason why that ought to stop now.

He nodded to his grandmother. “Very well,” he said. “You and I will attend this party—when is it to be held?”

“In two weeks’ time.”

“Good, then—we’ll have plenty of time to prepare ourselves for that.”

“And Allan, all I ask is that you do not close your mind to the possibility of finding the new duchess at this party,” his grandmother said. “One never knows where love may be found.”

“It’s not love I seek. You know that.”

“And yet love may be what you find. You mustn’t close your mind to that possibility either.”

“You may rest assured that my mind will never be closed,” he told his grandmother. “You may not believe it, but I want this business of choosing a duchess settled every bit as much as you do, and I look forward to finding the most appropriate young lady.”

“Good,” his grandmother said. “And I suppose I’ll just have to trust that you’ll have the good sense not to pass her up when you inevitably do find her.”

She gave Allan a significant look, as if there was something in particular she was trying to convey, though Allan couldn’t imagine what it might be.

Was it possible he had made his feelings for Lady Edwina more apparent than he had intended? Or could it be that his grandmother had simply seen through his defenses? Surely not. He had always been careful to hold her at arm’s length, and nobody knew about that stolen kiss.

It didn’t matter. He would be keeping his distance from Lady Edwina from this moment on, and so whatever his grandmother might think she knew, it would have no effect whatsoever. The story of Allan and Lady Edwina had reached its end.