Chapter 18

"Mercy! Show mercy!"

Jane sprung from her bed in shock. She recognized that voice.

She jumped out of bed and raced to his room without a second thought. But when she found herself in front of the door, she paused, her heart racing. She knocked, but there was no answer. His cries had quietened down.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she slowly turned the doorknob, the creaking sound echoing through the quiet hall.

Only when she stepped inside and moved closer to where he lay, did she find him sweating and crying in his sleep. Her heart dropped, and she rushed over to him.

She woke him up gently, "Your Grace… It's alright, Your Grace. You are having a nightmare. Wake up, you're fine. Open your eyes, please."

His eyes were startled as he began coming out of the nightmare at last. "What... where... what happened?" His voice trembled with confusion.

"You were having a bad dream. You're safe now, you're at home."

His eyes darted around the room, clearly still caught in the remnants of the nightmare. "I thought... I thought..." He stuttered, trying to make sense of his surroundings.

Jane placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, "It's over now. Just take a deep breath and relax." She rubbed her fingertips on his skin gently.

"It's alright, Colin. You're safe," She whispered, her voice filled with reassurance. Yet, he seemed to struggle to calm down, the remnants of his panic still lingering. She held him close, allowing him to rest his head on her chest.

"Just breathe, Colin. You're alright, it's all fine," She cooed softly, her words echoing a soothing melody in the night's quiet.

At last, he seemed to calmed down, the tension in his body easing as he began to recognize his familiar surroundings. "Thank you, Jane…" He whispered gratefully focusing on her presence.

Uttering her name appeared to dump the reality of the situation on him and his eyes fluttered open suddenly, shock stretched across his features. His body tensed up again, and with a sudden jolt, he sprang up off her chest, his movements frantic.

He turned from her and cleared his throat as he quickly attempted to compose himself.

"Your Grace…"

"I'm sorry for waking you, duchess. I'm quite alright now, you may take your leave," He uttered, his tone clearly formed to mask any form of vulnerability. As he resumed his seat on the bed, Jane watched as he erected a barrier, his expression stoic, shutting her out.

"You don't have to be alone tonight," She spoke softly, her words filled with warmth and sympathy. Sitting beside him on the bed, she gently added, "Let me keep you company, Your Grace, I-"

"I want to be left alone for the night. Could you please leave now?" His words cut through the air before she could finish. "I appreciate the concern, duchess. But I need my space."

Despite his cold demeanor, she remained rooted in her place. She did not know what horrors troubled this man, but the way he'd clung to her just a few moments ago made it clear he did not truly wish to be alone.

Instead of retreating, she moved closer to him on the bed.

"I am not leaving, Your Grace. I will be staying here. No matter what you say or do, I will not let you shut me out."

She didn't break eye contact because she could tell by the look in his eyes that he genuinely needed her.

"Jane, I wouldn't want to be rude, so don't make me," he said, his threat subtle yet glaring.

"What kind of a wife would I be if I left you at a moment when I knew you needed me?" She drew closer.

"An obedient one," he replied, whereas in his tone, there was a hint of amusement at her defiance.

"Have I ever been the obedient type?" she teased.

Colin scoffed, shocked with himself.

"I want to be of help to you."

He stared at her and said nothing.

"I will not let you be alone, you cannot expect such of me after what I have just seen," she repeated.

"You don't listen, duchess," he declared. "Why is that?"

"Because I am your wife, Colin!" she replied with no hesitation, her loud tone surmounting his. "You chose me as I did you, and heavens know, you surely did not pick me for my malleability! So I would advise you to accept your fate and sit back down!"

Colin's jaw titled slightly, "I beg your pardon?"

Yet, Jane did not acknowledge his words, pushing on with no hesitation, "No matter whatever circumstances led us to this moment, I will be your support. No matter how hard it gets, I'll stand by you through thick and thin, as I promised! That is my duty!"

Her tone turned pleading. "Do not push me away, I will not let you."

As she finished, her chest heaving and gaze locked on his eyes, a silence settled over them, echoes of the argument bouncing about.

Colin could not pull his eyes from the angry, beautiful woman before him.

He pondered on her words for a brief moment. Colin knew that she was right— that he needed her but his pride was in his way.

It took everything in him before he was finally able to summon the courage to accept defeat. To actually admit that for the first time in his life, he needed someone.

"You're right."

Shocked, Jane's eyes widened.

"Pardon?"

"Don't make me repeat myself," he said softly, watching as a grin flashed across her face. "I owe you an apology."

She stood there, waiting to hear him say those words even though she was still a bit surprised by his acceptance of defeat.

"I understand what you're trying to do, I really do." He sighed. "It's just…I am not used to this— letting people in."

"I know," she said with a calm, soothing voice, "But I am not ‘people', Colin. I am your wife."

"You're right."

The weight of his confession hung in the air as he continued in a subdued tone, his eyes unable to leave hers.

"Can you stay with me, does the offer still stand?" At last, his plea revealed the depth of his emotions, his chest feeling lighter almost instantly.

"Of course, husband," she replied, staring into his eyes. "I am not leaving your side."

He felt a wind of relief wash over his face at the sound of her reassuring words.

Colin's internal struggle intensified as he now wrestled with the forbidden allure of his wife's presence.

The smile, love and affection so evident in her eyes seemed to beckon to him towards her. Colin cared deeply for her and she did not deserve the coldness he'd shown her earlier. Regardless, she still innocently offered him comfort.

She looked so beautiful and her alluring form caught his eyes but he knew this wasn't the time to get distracted by her physique.

"Tell me about your nightmare."

Colin's expression shifted, a veil of pain descending over his features as he revisited the harrowing images from his dream.

"I fear it is far too gruesome details for a lady to hear," He hesitated, his voice tinged with reluctance.

"Then we shall call it a good thing you said it yourself; I'm nothing like a normal lady."

Her teasing banter cut through his somber mood, prompting a soft chuckle to escape him as he shook his head in disbelief.

He let silence fill the room, feeling her heavy gaze of anticipation on him.

"I lay to sleep and found myself back on the battlefield, the acrid scent of gunpowder filling the air, the sound of cannons thundering in the distance."

His voice quivered slightly as he began to recount the haunting details of the wartime nightmare to Jane.

"Men lay fallen around me, their cries of pain echoing in my ears, unmoving bodies beneath my feet." His voice cracked with emotion as he described the chaos and devastation that surrounded him, painting a vivid picture of the horrors he had witnessed.

As he continued his harrowing tale, his hands trembled imperceptibly, the memories of loss and suffering threatening to engulf him once more, "I saw faces of comrades long gone, their accusing eyes haunting me in the darkness."

His voice wavered "They held unto me… Judging me… Questioning how I got out. Questioning why I got to live while they lost their lives so brutally…"

Jane placed a hand on his. In the midst of the recounting, her gentle touch and soothing presence acted as a lifeline, pulling him back from the brink of his nightmare.

"You're safe. It's all over. And it is not your fault, Colin. None of all that happened is." The warmth of her hand on his arm grounded him in the present, a stark contrast to the harrowing visions that had gripped him moments before.

He gave her a sad smile, and placed a hand over hers. His voice, typically steady and strong, now carried a heavy burden of pain and anguish as he spoke.

"Most of my soldiers, they bear the same scars as me, Jane. The nightmares, they haunt us long after the battles end. Sometimes, I feel like I'm trapped in a never-ending dream, reliving the horrors of war even in waking moments."

"I'm so sorry for everything you've endured, Colin. I know it might be of little help, but I want you to know that I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

Slowly, he brought her hand to his lips, his tone grateful as he breathed words across her skin.

"Thank you, Jane." The words felt strange on his lips. "I…" He hesitated, "I would like if we could continue to converse till slumber takes us once more. The longer I stay up, the less I…"

She placed a gentle hand over his as he trailed off. With a warm smile, she nodded. "I do not mind. Converse we shall, Your Grace. Till dawn, if needed."