Chapter 11

"Ah, Colin! My dear friend, do come in." Mark laughed as he turned his head to face him. "You know when I was told that your carriage had pulled over in my compound, I did not believe it at first." He rose to his feet with a warm smile. "Welcome, my friend."

They embraced one another for a moment.

The Earl of Ashborne had been Colin's dear friend for as long as he could remember. He had lost contact with Mark while at war, but it was no matter as they had been quick to rekindle their friendship upon his return. The Earl would have been at his wedding, had he not been away on business.

This was the first time he was taking up his friend's offer to visit him whenever. Even without reaching out first. He wondered if his arrival would be frowned upon

Draping his coat over a fine wooden chair, Colin reclined on the sofa with a deep sigh. Tension rolled off him, dampening the warmth of the room. This was also the first time he had visited his friend ever since his new title as the Duke of Montford.

"So, how are things at Montford Estate? Most importantly, I must inquire of your new bride. How are things with her?" Mark asked, his voice tinged with concern. "Leave us," he declared with a careless wave and his servants all left, including Colin's.

Colin sighed deeply, feeling a strange mix of despair and concern. "I must confess, I think this marriage was a mistake."

Mark remained calm, his gaze on Colin. "Whatever do you mean? Are your nieces proving too difficult for your wife to handle?"

"What wife? She's a child!" Colin sputtered, his face heating up with embarrassment and frustration. "I should have known better. She has no bloody idea on how to take care of children, manage a household or how to respect a husband. She speaks back to me and doesn't listen to whatever I ask of her." He sighed, trying to control his frustrations so he would not whine too much.

With a calmer voice, he continued.

"The kids have shown signs of warming up to her…

"Okay, that's a good thing. Is it not?" Mark asked. "I mean if your nieces, being who they are, in fact, willing to warm up to your new wife, then I don't see the problem."

Colin massaged his eyeballs.

"Jane and I… we're like night and day, like the sun and the moon, like different ends of a spectrum. She's headstrong, unyielding, independent and…." He trailed off, frustration evident in his voice and furrowed brows.

Mark chuckled lightly, the sound doing little to lift Colin's spirit. "Interesting. It is a transformation most unexpected, from adversaries to the warmest of companions.

"Mark, I did not come here for you to make a mockery of this dire situation. If this marriage doesn't work out, I shall have to give the children to Prudence to take care of, which would lead me to break their trust." Colin lamented; his face etched in a frown.

Mark raised an eyebrow, "I must say, I have never seen you so openly annoyed. You have always appeared composed, reserved and calm, it made me wonder if you were human at times. This woman must be so special, seeing as she has managed to make you rattled."

"You know," Colin began. "I thought I was going mad when I tried to find the right match for myself. I required one who would be able to take care of the home, teach my nieces how to act accordingly, and be a pliant wife. It was a simple request, yet I couldn't find one person to fit into those requirements." He paused and continued. "But when I saw her in that garden, I knew I had to convince her to be my bride. I was enamored by her confidence and how much of a spitfire she was."

Shaking his head, he added, "I should have known she'd be a thorn in my flesh. She's so adventurous, it's unsettling. She wishes to seek the world beyond and explore, having free rein to do anything. I've tried to make her see reason; I've tried to make her understand how the wife of the duke is expected to behave. But, no. It is apparent that she doesn't seem to want to heed to my words of advice," the words burst out of him in a frustrated manner.

Colin's gaze flickered to the fireplace, entranced with the crackles it made.

"This isn't just about your marriage, is it?" Mark asked, concern coloring his eyes.

Colin let out a sigh. "No. It's about everything," he began. "My brother's death, his children, my new title, the estate, reminders of the war…I just feel like I'm constantly fighting a battle that I shall lose."

"Do you know why you are finding it difficult to handle your nieces?" Mark cast a serious look at him as he sat in silence.

"It's because you treat them like soldiers, expecting them to carry out your orders with no hesitation or questions!" Mark pointed out, his voice firm but not unkind.

"It's funny...Jane said the same thing," he confessed, a faint grin tugging at a corner of his lips.

"Then she's smarter than you give her credit for," Mark declared. "The way you react to your nieces is why they never listen to you. I suggest you give Jane a chance and do away with any sort of prejudice you might have towards her. Who knows, she might end up being great with the children. Begin on a fresh slate, try to be friends with her."

Colin scoffed, "Friends?" he spat out the word with a bitter tone. "You cannot possibly expect me to form a friendship with someone who has child-like tendencies which are worse than my nieces. It's ludicrous!" Colin wasn't cut out for friendships. He was too honest. Brutally honest to be exact.

He had no problem putting people in their place, if necessary. Perhaps it had to do with him being a captain. Either way, Colin didn't have many friends and the friends he did have were either dead, out of the country or living in solitude, like Mark.

"Yes, friends," Mark affirmed, his voice stern. "I understand that you were once a soldier and you have your way of doing things, in the most brutish manner, of course. But dear friend, that is definitely not the way to go about it."

"How would you know what to do? You are without a wife nor a child." Colin interjected, a challenging glint in his eyes.

"I might not have a wife nor children, but you forget that I am an uncle myself and my nieces and nephews all adore me." Mark stated with a smug grin on his face.

Colin grunted in response, taking a sip of the chamomile tea before him. Mark was once again on his no liquor journey, although it doesn't usually last long.

In a somber tone, Mark advised him. "You want to keep your nieces on their best behavior? You want them to be properly behaved and attuned to society? Work hand in hand with Jane and see how everything pans out. Your nieces require a female's presence in their mind and Jane can serve as their mother figure. You need to get rid of your crude ways of getting things done. Don't be standoffish to your nieces, you're their uncle for goodness's sake. You don't have to be rigid in all of your endeavors, it can be unappealing at times and completely unnecessary."

There was a moment of silence as Colin mulled over Mark's words. He made a lot of sense, albeit how difficult his words were to swallow. Colin knew he needed to tone down just how hard he'd been on the girls. His brother's face flashed in front of him, a subtle reminder of the constant burden he carried. He loved his brother, but he couldn't help but feel a slight tinge of resentment and bitterness towards him. Why didn't he fight harder to be a responsible father to his children? Why didn't he fight harder to keep the title he had fought for all his life? Why did he have to take the easy way out by dying and leaving everything in his hands?

"Sometimes, I wonder why my brother chose to pass on to the other side rather than be with his girls," he said to Mark. "I am not caught up for this position, Mark. I was trained to be a soldier not a duke. That was my brother's calling, he had all the teachings and trainings and our grandmother's advice." Colin massaged his eyeballs tiredly. "You know, there was once a time when I was jealous of Algernon." He scoffed at the ridiculousness of it.

"Why was that, if I might ask?"

Colin sighed.

"I used to feel like I didn't matter, like he was the favorite child and I always felt neglected. I was young then and I went as far as refusing to speak with him throughout that period." Colin laughed lightly as memories of those good old days came flooding his mind. "Algernon, being the compassionate brother that he was, did not deter in reaching out, nor did he relent." Colin rubbed his palm over his mouth. "Algernon loved the duties of a duke; why then did he give it all up just because he lost his wife?" He looked at Mark as if expecting him to give an answer.

"Love is the most powerful emotion, my friend- which also makes it the most dangerous," came the reply.

"I do not want this life," Colin blurted out. "Never did. You know me, Mark, my dream has always been to live up in the mountains and explore the entire country." He sighed. "Now, I can't do any of that because my dreams have all been shattered to pieces."

"Will you heed my advice?" Mark asked.

Although Colin didn't reply, his expression made it palpable that he was paying attention.

"This is your reality now, Colin. So, instead of complaining about it, you should embrace it and move on. You have a wife now with two little girls to cater for. Your life might have changed, it might not have turned out the way that you planned it- but my friend, such is life. It happens to the best of us and the best way to live and survive these changes that life does to us and our plans is to accept it. Accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can," Mark concluded.

Colin was quiet, his mind thinking about a million things at the same time but one thing was certain; Mark was right. This was his reality now and he had to accept it.

The clock suddenly chimed, signaling how late the night had become. Colin got to his feet., "Thank you, Mark. I shall have to take my leave. It was great seeing you again my friend, let's not do this again."

Mark chuckled deeply, clasping his hand in Colin's. "The pleasure is all mine."

The door made a creaking sound as Colin quietly opened it only standing at the doorstep, checking up on his nieces. They were already asleep, limbs tangled against each other, loud snores filling the air. It was surely a sight. A wry smile formed on Colin's lips, as he shook his head amusingly and shut the door.

"I need a drink," he murmured. He made his way to his room desperate for the bitter taste of whiskey. His footsteps came to a sudden halt- in front of his room. His friend's words came echoing in his mind, try to be friends with her. He could almost feel Mark's disapproving gaze on him as he sauntered past the room.

My apologies, Mark, not tonight.

A few hours later, after downing a whole bottle of whiskey, Colin staggered to the sofa in the library where he was least likely to be found. Immediately he laid there, he succumbed to sleep. However, memories from the past hit him like a ton of bricks. Memories of his late brother, images of his lifeless body, echoes of gunshots during the war, screams of the soldiers… they all flooded his mind like a torrential downpour of rain.

He shook his head, desperate to free himself from the shackles of the past that clung to the corners of his consciousness. "No, no. Stop!" he mumbled, a sheen of sweat covering his forehead. His legs thrashed violently, while his arms stuck right beside him, almost like he was afraid to wield them. He could feel the metallic taste of blood on his lips from his first kill, he could feel the heat at the camp. He could feel everything.

"Wake up! Colin, wake up!" An urgent voice called out his name.

Who's that? What is happening? Why can't I wake up?

The voice persisted, trying to lull him out of the deep hole he dug for himself.

Suddenly, he felt a soft hand, gently caressing his hair, as the voice, tinged with concern continued too quietly.

"I need you to wake up now, Your Grace. You are frightening me."

With a loud gasp, he suddenly sprung awake, breathing heavily. His unsettled gaze fell on the one person he wouldn't have guessed in his wildest dreams – Jane. And she was staring at him with a puzzled look in her eyes.

"What in God's name happened to you?" She whispered hauntingly.