Chapter 27

Chapter 27

One Month Later

The inquest could not come quickly enough.

Lydia longed to return to her home in the countryside and reunite with her daughters. She felt their absence more and more keenly every day. Yet, there would still be some time left in London that they would need to remain. The primary reason, of course, would be that she needed to ensure that a certain bastard was going to rot away in jail for the rest of his life for his crimes.

Despite all of her best efforts, she had scarcely seen hide nor hair of Weston in the last couple of weeks. There was still far too much that was unsaid between them. Far too many things that they needed to reconcile and there had not been a single opportunity.

If she had had her way, she would have had her way with him right there in that hallway before they had been interrupted. She would have done so again in the carriage on her ride home, but instead, they had been parted.

It was with decent cause, she supposed.

Kitty and William had officially announced their engagement.

Father was more or less pleased, in the way that he was never truly pleased with anything. It mattered not to him that William was a Baronet, but that their courtship had been so unorthodox. Then, paired with Kitty’s advanced age and fact that William was all but outright refusing a dowry, father was finding the smallest things to become offended by.

Kitty and Lydia had been planning their official engagement soiree for weeks. It was not as if she was not happy for her sister. Kitty deserved everything in the world and then some. There was nobody that would be more supportive of their sister than Lydia was being.

Yet, she ached for the duke. She longed to have him nearer to her and he was going to be in attendance this evening. Which would be the opportunity to be closer with him again that she had been searching for. That night of Cassian’s arrest they had reached an agreement.

Neither one of them was particularly pleased with it, but it was necessary. Lydia was still only a handful of months into her mourning period. It was too much of a risk for them to be seen together and as her lust for him was nearly impossible to contain… they had to keep their distance.

The ballroom of their father’s home was decorated perfectly. The air scented with floral notes and a lemony tang from the refreshments. Kitty herself was in a pale-yellow gown, looking breathtakingly beautiful. William, constantly at her side, could hardly take his eyes off his soon to be bride.

Members of the ton meandered through the hall, some dancing and others loitering with conversation that Lydia simply could not seem to force herself to engage in. It had been too long since she had seen him, and her skin felt too tight over her bones. He should have arrived by then, and Lydia kept searching the room over and over for Weston. While simultaneously avoiding her father, of course.

Frustrated, she finally made her way back over to Kitty and William.

“You seem rather on edge, sister.” Kitty hummed into the brim of her goblet. “I cannot imagine why that might be.”

“Hush.” Lydia said, unable to keep a grin from her lips. “You are supposed to be only focusing on yourself and your happiness tonight. It is a celebration of your love.”

Kitty rolled her eyes. “I am perfectly capable of attending to my own happiness as well as yours.”

Yet, even as the wine colored her cheeks pink, Kitty kept glancing over at her betrothed. There was an almost hungry gleam in Kitty’s eye that she simply could not deny. She was only jealous in that she could not act on her own hunger. William kept glancing down at his fiancé’s arm on his, flicking his eyes up to Kitty between each guest that came up to them in order to give them well wishes.

“Besides, with how flighty you look searching for the duke, I cannot help but be distracted.” Kitty hummed again, smirking to herself. It seemed that since she was now engaged, she was becoming quite the bold creature.

“I am not flighty.”

“I do not see why the pair of you have been separate from one another. I know that you like to pretend that nothing happened, but I know what I saw. And that, my dear sister, was passion.” Kitty teased with a wink. “Honestly, the moment that we are wed I do not think that I shall be able to keep my hands from my husband. I do not know how you can kiss somebody like that and not act on it.”

Lydia hissed at her sister to hush. “You cannot just say things like that!”

“Nobody is going to overhear me, do not worry.”

“That is not the point!”

“Then why do you keep from him? Hm?”

“It is… complicated. I am still in mourning. I am a widow. People will get the wrong impression. Among other reasons.” Lydia sighed.

“What other reasons?”

How was she to tell her sister that one of the reasons that she was keeping her distance from the duke was to ensure that there was no scandal attached to their name? Kitty and William’s engagement would have been tainted by the fact that she was ending her mourning period so quickly.

“I still have quite some time before my year of mourning is up, Kitty.” Lydia sighed, hoping that the answer would suffice. “My reputation—and by extension your own —would be called into question. Why would I do that? You know I care for you above all else.”

Lydia said it as gently as possible. Though, the love that welled in her sister’s eyes was almost too much.

Kitty reached for her, slipping her hand from William’s arm and grasping her hand tightly. “You have to put yourself first at some point, sister. Your feelings for His Grace must be very deep indeed.”

She would, but only after all of the rest of those that she loved and cared for so deeply were properly taken care of. There was nothing wrong with that. Even if she did crave Weston’s hands upon her to the point that her skin ached.

“Whatever my feelings might or might not be is irrelevant, Kitty. I did love my husband, in my own way, and I would not insult his memory by remarrying too quickly.”

Kitty gasped. “Marriage?!”

Lydia’s face flamed. “That is not… I mean…”

Kitty giggled and leaned forward, her nose rubbing against her sisters as she laughed. The wine was clearly going to her sister’s head. She had not made such an affectionate gesture like that since they were children.

“Oh, what happy news. I would be so thrilled! The duke seems like such a lovely man.”

“As does William.”

“I am still so shocked that he has chosen me. I told him everything, you know, before the duke had left for London. After all of the blackmailing business came to light, I felt that it was only right. I was so certain that he would turn his back to me, that the threat of scandal in such a sensitive society would be enough to send him running.”

Kitty said with a smile, glancing over her shoulder at William as if she could not bear the thought of being parted from him for too long. “He accepted me, all of it, and then informed me that he was going to ask our father for my hand in marriage.”

“Truly, I cannot have wished for anything better for you.” Lydia smiled.

“The earl would have wished for your happiness. He was a strange man, but he was affectionate in his way. He would have wished for you to fill your days with happiness, he always did. The fact that you could be blessed with a love match? You know he would have never stood in your way. He was your friend, that much was obvious.”

She had a point. Their relationship had always been friendly, and their marital duties were low on the priority burner between the two of them. But it had been successful for them. It had been enough. Lydia could have remained married to him for the rest of her days and would not have regretted it—if it were not for those memories with the duke all of those years ago.

There was no point in lamenting over what might have been, should she have made different life choices, or where she and the duke might have been now. But she could do something about the way that her future was going to turn out.

“You should not wait. I care not what society might or might not say. There is no point of depriving yourself of happiness for their sake. What has the ton ever done for you?” Kitty said.

Even those words alone would have been considered scandalous. But she had a point.

One way or another, no matter how it ended, Lydia was going to find Weston that night.