Chapter 17

Chapter 17

A fortnight later

Time passed in a blur. Speeding forward more quickly than he could properly process. The afternoons that they spent as a group on the lawns, or enjoying the gardens with Lydia and her girls felt almost as if he were becoming part of their small family. Watching Lydia with her children was something that Weston found himself quickly becoming addicted to.

Motherhood seemed to come so naturally to her. It certainly had not come that simply to his own mother. Perhaps should he be blessed enough for Lydia to grant him an heir, he would have time to right those wrongs of his childhood for his own son. Sometimes, it nearly felt as if there were too many emotions all at once.

If anything, he was starting to feel like they were living a dual life. Weston had been forced to step into the earl’s position for the day and search for a suitable steward. Or re-train the current one for a whole host of new duties and all of the complications that came with that. Then at night, they were having to deal with constant inquiries that Cassian sent to the house, making demands.

The threat of exposure was keeping his stomach tied in knots.

But the girls were smiling again. They were running and playing, they had resumed all of their studies. Sometimes, on a random Thursday… Lydia would wear a gown in any color other than black. Even if it was only within the privacy of their own home.

Originally, when he had come to their home, he had thought that he was only going to be there for a month or so. He had figured that he would have already been finished with all of the difficult parts so that he could escort William to the season. Though, his dear friend had not mentioned such things since their residence here.

When one’s life changes too quickly, one rarely sees the pieces moving until they have settled.

Weston was comfortable there, in a wholly different way than he was at home. Would he be able to go back into his previous life? Cassian’s attempts at the inheritance that should only be meant for Lydia and her girls were far from over. It was a dangerous thing to even fathom letting his guard down to set the estate up to run without him, even if it was to fall back into Lydia’s hands because he still felt that the other shoe could drop at absolutely any moment.

How could he grow any closer to Lydia or even try to act on his desires without overstepping his bounds? Since the library, he was choosing to take every moment that he could with Lydia, but those were falling few and far between with how much time they were spending as a unit.

There was a burning need inside of him to tell her the truth… but he was afraid of what might happen if she did not take the news well. How could she? How would anyone react to being threatened in such a way? Lydia was stubborn and strong as it was, but there were plenty of ways this could blow up in all of their faces.

Weston could lose her forever.

If Cassian were to win, if he were given the earldom, she would have to leave everything behind. If there was anything that Weston was positive about it was that this home and the estate meant everything to her.

He would not allow it to be removed from her, not even by himself. He wanted more than anything to figure things out without having to trouble her. He felt responsible for his cousin. This entitlement was a trait that Cassian had possessed from birth, and Weston needed to silence it.

The only reason that Weston was even considering keeping Cassian appeased with regard to Kitty’s alleged background, was to keep scandal from their names. They both had their rights to their own secrets.

Lydia presently sat at the desk, her spine uncomfortably straight as she worked through yet another one of her late husband’s ledgers. There had been a small supply of them that, apparently, he had kept locked away in his private bedroom, a place that she did not often go. It should not be such good news for Weston that she was not often intimate with her husband… but it was.

He had offered to be helpful, but she had almost shooed him out of the office when he had attempted to take one of the books out of her hands. She had not looked up in at least half an hour which had left Weston plenty of time to sit and admire her concentration and focus.

Tendrils of hair had come loose from the pins, as she kept using the heel of her palm to wipe the light sheen of sweat from her brow. It was warm in the office, and she said that opening the window would only tempt her to dally the day away outside.

There were a great many things that he could think about doing to her that would greatly ease the tension of her work. Things he would be only too happy and willing to do.

But if she took the news poorly, he might not be ever allowed to touch her again.

Lydia huffed and slammed the ledger closed. The pressed both of her palms into her eyes and shook her head. “This is a whole travel log that he never even spoke to me about! It appears to be good things, trade deals in the Islands but those accounts were never transferred back to England! It is going to be such a headache in moving the funds.”

“Perhaps that is for the best.” Weston answered ominously. His remark strange enough that Lydia looked up at him quizzically.

“Why do you say that?”

“I have something to tell you that you are not going to like.” Weston sighed, fiddling with a piece of lint on the sleeve of his shirt. Anything but to look at the disappointment she was going to have in just a moment.

“I apologize in advance for not informing you sooner, I have been looking for any loophole or way out of this situation but as more money seems to be heading to the estate, it would be best to delay such transactions for as long as possible.”

“But why? Your Grace, you are frightening me.” Lydia whispered, all thoughts of her work gone.

“I wish to be nothing but honest with you, and I have not been.” Weston hesitated, now that he had started speaking it was becoming more difficult to continue forming words. “Was there a scandal with your sister around the time that you were married?”

From the way that Lydia’s face paled, he knew that it was the truth.

“Why would you ask me that?”

“Whatever happened, clearly has been out of public memory for long enough that I do not remember it, nor does William. I do not know if that will soothe you or not, but whatever it was… it appears that our annoying flea Cassian does remember it. He says that he has proof and is willing to expose her if he is not given the earldom in its totality,” Weston finished. Every nerve felt like a frayed wire. He could not breathe, not until she answered him.

“So… the imposter is what, blackmailing you? Us?” Lydia asked, her eyes narrowing to slits. Weston watched the way her fists tightened until her knuckles were white, and then she quickly tucked them under the desk to rest on her lap.

“Yes.”

“For how long?”

“Since the day in town.”

Lydia’s nostrils flared, and she took another handful of moments to compose herself before speaking again. “It is true, about Kitty. Through no fault of her own. She did not invite nor welcome any advances, but she was caught with a man, and I helped her through it. I would do it again, I certainly do not regret my actions.”

“It does not seem that there is anything to be ashamed of.”

“Kitty would be absolutely mortified if she knew that you knew.”

“I would never say a word.”

“Does William know?” Lydia asked, her voice suddenly much more alarmed.

“Only that there was a scandal, I did not think—”

“Good. My sister would not wish for him to know. She has grown so very fond of him…” Lydia said as she spun her chair around. Was it because she could not stomach the sight of him? Lord, he hoped that was not the case.