Chapter 10

Stick to Your Guns

Nigel was irritated, and to add to his irritation, he was not entirely sure why he felt this way. As he danced with Jane, he tried to replay the evening in his mind.

No, it was not the fact that someone else claimed Lady Everett for a dance. His conversation with her had been tolerable but by no means captivating. You are looking for a wife of convenience; she doesn't need to be anything more than tolerable.

His conversations with Olivia played over in his head, her words seeming to bounce around his mind. What does it matter to you whom I pursue or don't pursue.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Jane asked, her voice kind.

Nigel shook his head and smiled, not wanting to let her see his irritation. "Oh nothing. I was just… Your friend seems to be getting on rather well with my cousin."

A tiny prickle of annoyance ran through him as he said it, and he had to force himself to stay present as he danced with Jane.

"Well, he seems like quite a nice man. And Olivia, um Lady Olivia, is rather a lovely person." Jane bit her lip. "Though I know there is no love lost between the two of you."

"I wish her no ill," Nigel murmured.

"I am sure you do not," Jane replied.

Once more the change of partners came, and Nigel found Olivia in his arms. The smell of lavender and honey washed over him, and he found his shoulders relaxing in spite of himself.

"So, have you discovered what it is that draws you to my cousin?" Nigel found himself asking. "Is it his dazzling personality?"

"Perhaps it is simply that he is kind to me and seems interested in me," Olivia replied. "He, at least, does not seem to think the idea of courtship between us is ludicrous."

"Then he has taken steps to court you?" Nigel felt a stab of something sharp and unpleasant in his chest, and he tried to keep the anger from his voice. "I suppose he has sent you a half dozen roses or some such thing.

"Not yet. No. I hope he does not send roses; pretty as they are, I do feel they are somewhat unoriginal." Nigel saw the portion of Olivia's face that was visible redden. "I did not mean to sound presumptuous… or ungrateful."

"You did not sound presumptuous. In truth, I am surprised he has not taken any such steps." Nigel shook his head. "Out of curiosity, what flowers do you enjoy?"

"Why? Are you planning on buying some for me?" Olivia teased. "Or are you simply gathering information for your cousin. Though I am not sure which would surprise me more."

"You are avoiding the question." What are you doing, Maxton? Stop this at once. Yet Nigel found he could not.

"Well, if you must know, I am not entirely sure that I am a flowers sort of woman." Olivia's cheeks reddened.

"What sort of woman are you?"

"I would just prefer a gift to be something that said something about both the giver and what they thought of the receiver." Olivia bit her lip. "It is more about the thought, I suppose, which is why I do not care for roses."

"I see the sense in that. It is nice to gift someone something that says you know them. Though how is one to do that without that knowledge?" Nigel's eyes twinkled. "I fear you may disappointed if you are expecting my cousin to have some hidden depths."

"I am sure there is more to him than I have seen. After all, your cousin is nice enough." Olivia shrugged.

"Such high praise." Nigel laughed. "Goodness, please stop; your praise of his virtues will have me quite overcome."

"Well, I do not know him well. Not yet. And unlike some people, I do not judge based on fleeting interactions." Olivia's reply was pointed.

Before Nigel could answer, they swapped partners once more, and he found himself dancing with Jane again. Jane looked up at him, and he was acutely aware of how much shorter than Olivia she was, forcing him to adjust his stance.

Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced at Olivia and Lord Briston. With some satisfaction, he observed that she was slightly taller than his cousin.

"What do women see in a man like that?" Nigel asked, glancing at the two dancing.

"Women? Or Lady Olivia?" Jane's voice was amused though there was a hint of another emotion that Nigel could not quite place.

"Well, I suppose Lady Olivia. It is rather surprising to see her with someone like that," Nigel admitted.

"Like what?"

"Like my cousin. He is hardly well… anything really. He is ‘nice enough'…" Nigel couldn't help but smile as he said the words, thinking of Olivia as he did so. What is wrong with me. "… but surely women want more than that?"

Jane pursed her lips in thought. "I think most women simply want to be with a man who makes them feel wanted. Who makes them feel seen. No one wants to be with someone who makes her feel as though he would rather be elsewhere."

Nigel looked at Jane, guilt washing over him. "Oh, Miss Jane. I am sorry. I did not —"

"It is quite all right, Your Grace. I did not mean to imply you had made me feel this way. Simply stating that perhaps what draws Olivia to your cousin is that he has simply expressed an interest in being around her." Jane smiled though Nigel saw a strange brittleness in the expression.

Before he could say anything further, they swapped partners for the final time. He felt the warmth of Olivia's hand in his and could not help but appreciate the way they seemed to fit together. Stop it.

"You do not approve of your cousin courting me." Olivia's voice was flat, but Nigel detected some hint of emotion he could not quite place.

"I never said that." Nigel shook his head.

"You did not need to. It is clear from your actions and words." Olivia pursed her lips.

Nigel thought for a moment, thinking about his conversation with Jane, and asked with genuine curiosity. "Do you need my approval?"

"Goodness, you do think rather a lot of yourself, don't you?" Olivia's tone was teasing rather than angry. "Do you expect all women to need your approval?"

"I expect no one to need my approval," Nigel countered. "Well, that is not entirely true — I should like to think that my approval is warranted in matters of my own estate. But not matters of the heart." Particularly someone else's.

"Well then, you shall be glad to know that I do not want nor do I need your approval." Olivia sighed. "Whether or not you approve of your cousin and my courtship, we cannot keep on like this."

"My cousin and yourself?" Nigel was confused.

"No, you and I." Olivia shook her head.

Nigel's heart sped up. "Keep on like what?"

"At one another's throats." Olivia looked at him as though he were being deliberately obtuse.

"I suppose we could try for a little cordiality. Especially if you insist on this ridiculous pursuit of my cousin." Nigel could not help himself as the barb escaped his lips.

Olivia's expression was hard to read beneath the mask, but the tone of her voice was quietly amused. "Is that your approximation of civility?"

Nigel laughed. "Very well. From this moment, I shall be… Well, I shall be more cordial to you."

"I should like that." Olivia smiled. "Perhaps we could even be friends. Whatever you think of me and your cousin, I would hope that you would wish us happiness."

"I…" Nigel opened his mouth, unsure what he was going to say.

His heart hammered in his chest, and he felt a mix of panic and sadness run through him. His hands started to shake. For a moment, the room around him seemed to spin. He almost lost his footing as the music stopped. He caught himself, carefully avoiding Olivia's eye.

He bowed low, alternately clenching and unclenching his fist. He could not afford for anyone to see him if the palsy was beginning to spread.

"Thank you, for the dance, My Lady." He turned and left, suddenly desperate to be as far from the ball as he could get.

As he walked onto the veranda, the cool night air washed over his face. His heart seemed to be tumbling around his chest. His hands were shaking as were his legs. Carefully, he sat down. It is the curse.

"What are you doing, Maxton." Nigel shook his head. "You are a doomed man. You need a wife of convenience, and Olivia… Lady Olivia…"

She would be far more than tolerable, but I could not do that to her. She does not deserve that. Sighing, he leaned against the balustrade, glancing up at the night sky. The sound of footsteps made him look up, and he saw his cousin walking towards him.

"Are you quite well, cousin?" Lord Briston's eyes were wide with concern. "You left rather abruptly. I was worried."

Nigel smiled, trying to hide his shaking hands. "It is nothing. I just… I wanted to take in some of the night air."

Lord Briston removed his mask and glanced at his cousin. "Is it?"

"I am not sure." Nigel bit his lip. "Did you… Have you spoken to…"

Lord Briston shook his head. "He is abroad, but as soon as he returns, I will speak with him. I am sure he will know of something that will help you."

"Thank you, cousin." Nigel gripped Lord Briston's arm and pulled himself to his feet. "I am sorry to have pulled you from the dance."

"It is of little matter. Some minor noble asked the lovely Lady Olivia to dance, and as no one else has really caught my eye, I thought I would come check on you." Lord Briston shrugged.

"You intend to pursue her then?" Nigel tried to keep his voice level and cool to convey an unaffectedness.

"Of course. She is a most delightful young woman. Utterly radiant." Lord Briston smiled.

"You think you are well suited then?" Nigel did not quite manage to keep the incredulity from his voice.

"Why would we not be?" Lord Briston bristled. "Just because you are a duke does not make you more worthy than me."

"I never said it did. Besides, I am not courting her." And I have no plans to. Nigel scowled and looked into the garden. "I was simply wondering if a match between you would be a good one."

"And I was asking why it wouldn't be. I have rather a lot to offer a young woman, you know."

"Of course, you do." Nigel felt the tiny, unpleasantness in him slip from his grasp, making his words overly sarcastic. "What woman could possibly resist your charms?"

"I'll have you know, plenty of women are drawn to me. I may not have your title, but I have other things."

"Women are not drawn to me solely for my title." Nigel shook his head.

"Of course, they aren't." Lord Briston's tone was mocking. "They're drawn to your good looks and wonderous personality."

"Well, at least women are drawn to me," Nigel shot back, irked.

"That's clearly why Lady Olivia is seeking you out. Oh wait, no, she isn't."

"Because she is so enthused by your company." Nigel towered over his cousin. "What exactly is it that you think you offer her that I could not?"

"A life. A long and full life with me." Lord Briston met Nigel's gaze, anger flaring wildly in his eyes before it faded.

Nigel felt as though he had been punched. All the air fled from him, and he slumped. "That was a low blow, cousin."

"But it is not untrue," Lord Briston murmured. "Though you are right. And well, we are looking for a cure, so perhaps there is some hope still."

Nigel tried to smile, but it felt more like a grimace. "Hope or no, you are right. I cannot offer Ol — Lady Olivia what you can. You should get to know her more."

"I should like that. I thought perhaps to call at Pembleton Manor tomorrow." Lord Briston looked thoughtful. "Although perhaps a bouquet of roses would be more appropriate."

Of course, his first thought would be roses. He only just stopped himself from smiling. "Why don't we invite them for a promenade? I find that the best conversations seem to happen when one is out and doing something."

"There is some truth in that cousin." Lord Briston nodded. "A promenade it is. Though I do not suppose a bouquet of roses would hurt. That is the sort of thing young ladies like, is it not?"

Nigel shook his head but found himself rather unwilling to educate his cousin on the ways of one particular young lady. Let him find out for himself. I can help them connect, but I will not play matchmaker.

As Nigel thought about the next day and the invitation he would send in the morning, he promised himself that he would not talk to Olivia any more than necessary. He would be cordial — he could see the sense in that — but he need not be overly so.

He would invite Olivia on a promenade, and Jane, and he would do his best to keep away from Olivia. I can do that. I do not need to spend any more time than I need with her.