Chapter Twenty-Three

E ffie sat in the carriage, deliberately thinking only of Shadowcrest. Of getting out on the land. Riding Juno again. Wearing her breeches and being comfortable. Not having to smile at people she did not care to know and talk about inane things that meant nothing to her. She stroked Daffy, who sat sleeping in her lap. Oh, to be a cat and have no worries.

Her only regret was leaving town without saying goodbye to Lady Ada. The one thing Effie had wanted out of a Season was to make friends beyond her family, and Lady Ada had become a close one in a short amount of time. Unfortunately, there was no way for Effie to pursue her friendship with Lady Ada because of her brother.

She wondered if she should write to her friend and tell her anything about what had occurred between Effie and Waterbury. No, that would be unfair to Lady Ada. Effie would never want her friend to pick sides and choose her against her brother. Family was too important.

She would write to Lady Ada, though, and simply tell her the truth. At least, part of the truth. That she had missed Shadowcrest and the country terribly. That it was the reason she had left the Season behind so abruptly, in order to come home. Perhaps the two could continue their friendship through a correspondence. If Lady Ada wed Lord Ashmore, which Effie believed would be the outcome at the end of this Season, she might even receive an invitation to go and visit her friend in her new home. Effie would certainly do so.

As long as the Duke of Waterbury would not be a guest at the same time.

"A penny for your thoughts," Aunt Matty said, breaking the silence between them which had existed since they left London an hour earlier.

She had been grateful that her aunt had not tried to converse with her and draw things out of her which she didn't wish to talk about. Aunt Matty was good about that, always with a willing ear to listen to Effie's problems yet shrewd enough to know when talk was not wanted. Effie loved her aunt very much and reached for the older woman's hand, squeezing it.

"Actually, I was thinking of my friendship with Lady Ada and how that came to an abrupt end with my departure from town. I am hoping that we can continue it by corresponding with one another."

"Will you ever tell her the true reason you left town and the Season behind?"

"No. she loves her brother a great deal, just as I love James." She snorted. "Even if he tried to run my life, along with all my brothers-in-law."

Aunt Matty squeezed Effie's fingers gently. "Do not be too harsh in judging them, Effie. They all love you a great deal. I think they saw how much Waterbury cared for you, and that you also had an affection for him. They were merely trying to help nudge things along."

"They were trying to manage my life," she said, new waves of anger rolling within her. "If I wanted to wed the duke, I would have. Not that he had asked me. Nor had he even told me he loved me."

She grew quiet, wondering whether the hurt inside her would ever go away or if it would be her constant companion from now on.

"Do you have feelings for him?" Aunt Matty asked gently.

Tears formed in her eyes, and Effie nodded, not wishing to lie to her aunt. "I love him. At least, I think I do. Or did. I may have fallen in love with someone who does not even exist. A man who was following a set of rules which would make me find him appealing."

"What were some of these guidelines which your family suggested he follow?"

She thought a moment. "Things such as giving me compliments which were not meaningless. Talking with me about topics which I was interested in and truly listening to me without being distracted. Asking me my advice on issues. Taking me somewhere I wished to go that no one had ever offered to bring me. In general, simply being thoughtful and engaged and present in conversations with me."

"And was His Grace that way?" her aunt prodded.

"Yes, very much so. Only because he was told to do so."

Aunt Matty clucked her tongue. "If Waterbury were a shallow man, he could not have followed those guidelines for long. Perhaps for one conversation, but I know you spoke with him a good many times. A man cannot be false to himself—or others—for an extended amount of time, Effie. I think you were seeing the true duke. Or should I say the man behind the title?"

She reflected on how Waterbury had shared with her about his past and his family. How lonely he had been at school and how unhappy he was, despite excelling in academics and sports. She pictured him at tea with her family. How well he got along with everyone. How interested he seemed and how at ease he was.

As if he had found the family he had always yearned for.

Her throat tightened as a few tears escaped. Effie brushed them away.

"Perhaps the duke was that man, and these guidelines simply reminded him what was best about him," she admitted.

"Then if you think you made a hasty retreat to the country, it is not too late. We could always turn the carriage around."

More than anything, Effie longed to do that very thing, but it did not solve the dilemma that overshadowed everything else. Waterbury would always be a duke. Marrying him would turn her into a duchess. That was the last thing she wanted for herself.

"No, Aunt. I still wish to return home. I was bored silly by all the events I had to attend. I had thought I would be able to see my sisters and cousins, along with their families, but all I did was waste my time with shallow people. I missed Shadowcrest. I missed the country. Town life—and being a duchess—are not for me."

"Very well," Aunt Matty said. "This is your decision today. It might even be the same one tomorrow. One thing maturity brings to our lives, Effie, is that we understand compromise. How to be flexible. If you change your mind at any point, I can accompany you to town again so that you might finish out the Season. You may not wish to do that. You might instead make a fresh start next Season. Or the next. The important thing is the choice is—and always has been—yours."

"I have learned just how different my family is from others in Polite Society. I do realize I am unique in that I am being given the ability to choose my own future. Mama and the captain have never pressed me to wed, nor has James. He has assured me that Shadowcrest can be my home as long as I wish."

They rode the rest of the way in silence, reaching home in a little over two hours. Since her trip had been so sudden, no messenger had been deployed, so their arrival was a surprise. Both Mr. and Miss Forrester greeted them, and footmen carried up the single trunk she had brought with her. Effie had left most of her new gowns behind, not needing ball gowns in the country. She set Daffy on the ground, and the cat scrambled off, ready to explore and see if anything had changed since they had left Kent.

The first thing she did was to go to her bedchamber and change into a shirt and breeches, slipping into her sturdy boots, before making her way downstairs to Caleb's office. She stood at his open door, seeing her cousin deep in thought as he scribbled in a ledger. How she loved him and all that he had taught her about estate management. Perhaps one day, she might even become the steward at Crestridge, Mama's country place which had been awarded to her when she became a widow. It was only about ten miles from Shadowcrest, a small estate, one which Caleb also managed since it did not take much of his time. It would be a dream to take over Caleb's responsibilities at Crestridge, and she would still be able to visit Shadowcrest often. Once she settled in here at Shadowcrest, she might see if she could go and spend a week or so at Crestridge, learning as much as she could about it. The thought excited her.

And would keep her mind off Waterbury.

Caleb must have sensed her presence because he glanced up, his surprise evident.

"Effie!" he cried, coming to his feet and hurrying to embrace her. "I suppose you are done with the Season?"

"You do not know the half of it, Caleb. Most of it was pure torture. You meet dozens of people whom you have no interest in getting to know. You discuss things which have no value or importance and try to avoid listening to gossip about people you have never heard of."

He laughed. "It does sound awful."

"Not all of it was," she told him. "The dancing was fun. You know I have always enjoyed attending the assemblies in Crestview. And I did make a wonderful friend. Lady Ada Ware. She was a delight to be around. As for the others, I will not miss any of them. What I did miss was Shadowcrest. And working with you."

"I am always happy to have your assistance, Effie. It is good to have you home."

"Do you think I have what it takes? That I might be able to run an estate someday on my own? I do not mean one as large as Shadowcrest, but I was thinking about Mama's country property. That way, you would not have to divide your attention."

Her cousin beamed at her. "Effie, you could run England if you put your mind to it. I am not teasing you in the slightest when I say so. You are intelligent. Capable. Wise beyond your years. Nurturing. Any estate would be fortunate to have you helming it."

"Unfortunately, I doubt anyone outside our family would hire a woman to do so. For now, I will simply continue to shadow you, helping in any way I can, Caleb."

"What are your plans today?" he asked.

"I want to claim Juno and ride the estate. Riding in Rotten Row is a poor substitute for galloping across fields in the country. I need to get a feel again for the land. I will report to you tomorrow."

He pressed a kiss against her brow. "I am sorry the Season did not work out for you, Effie, but I am glad you have returned home."

She made her way to the stables, asking for Juno to be saddled for her. Effie allowed the groom to toss her into the saddle, feeling like her old self in her breeches, riding astride. She giggled, wondering what the members of the ton would say about her if they saw her now. The gossips would have a field day.

Trotting from the yard, she was soon galloping across a meadow. Though her heart was still heavy when thinking about the duke, Effie knew the power of Shadowcrest would heal her emotional wounds.

Eventually.

*

Malcolm arrived at Shadowcrest, thinking it a most impressive estate. He knocked at the door and was greeted by an older servant.

"I am His Grace, the Duke of Waterbury," he announced. "I have come from London to see Lady Effie. Is it possible for my team to be watered and fed?"

"I am Forrester, Your Grace. Have your driver go 'round to the stables, and your horses will be cared for. Tell him to report to the kitchens, and Cook will see he is fed."

"Thank you, Forrester," he said, going to his coachman and giving him instructions.

Then Malcolm returned to the waiting butler, who ushered him into the house, saying, "Lady Effie is out on the estate, Your Grace. You are welcome to wait in the drawing room, but it may be a while. Lady Mathilda is in residence. I can let her know you are here."

He wanted to immediately ride out to search for Effie, but he didn't think it would hurt to visit with her aunt first. She might be able to give him insight into the situation and Effie's current mood.

"Yes, thank you, Forrester. I would like to speak with Lady Mathilda if she is available."

The butler escorted Malcolm to the drawing room, a large room which was tastefully furnished and yet had a feeling of home about it, much as Seaton's drawing room in town did. He wandered about it aimlessly.

Then he felt something brush against his leg and saw it was Effie's cat, Daffy.

Bending, he fisted his hand as he had seen her do, and the cat rubbed its cheek against his knuckles. Malcolm ran his fingers along the cat's back. Immediately, Daffy began to purr.

If it could only be so easy with Effie.

Five minutes later, Lady Mathilda entered. He went to her, taking her hand and kissing it.

"Thank you for agreeing to see me, my lady."

Her sparkling Strong eyes gleamed with a bit of mischief. "Thank you for coming after our Effie, Your Grace."

"Have I made a wasted trip? Or do you believe I have a chance with Effie?"

"She and I spoke on the way here. Effie was definitely upset about these silly rules the men in her family tried to get you to follow. I pointed out to her, however, that it had to be in your nature to behave as you did because no one could follow those rules if they were not true to his character. You would not have been that attentive to her if you were not interested in her. You would not have given her sincere, genuine compliments if you did not believe them."

Lady Mathilda shook her head. "She does have feelings for you, Waterbury. Deep ones. But what stands in the way even more than that ridiculous guidebook is the fact that you are a duke."

He frowned. "I cannot shed my title for her. It is a part of me."

"Effie does not feel worthy to be your duchess, Your Grace. That much I got out of her. She is a country girl, through and through, and does not favor the eyes of Polite Society upon her as she tries to be something she is not."

Surprise filled him, because Malcolm believed Effie had all the confidence in the world. "She might believe she is not capable of holding the title of duchess, but she could not be more wrong," he said earnestly.

"Then find her. Tell her what is in your heart. And let her know she is the only woman who can be your duchess. A Duchess of Waterbury who will shine brightly amongst those in the ton ."

"Thank you, Aunt Matty," he said, calling her by the name all the Strongs did. "You have given me hope when before I had none. I intend to ride out and find her now. Wish me luck."

"You do not need me to do so, Your Grace." She smiled at him. "Men such as yourself? They make their own luck."

Malcolm went to the stables and spoke to the head groom, who agreed to loan him a mount. He made certain to ask the name of this horse, learning it was called Zeus and was the Duke of Seaton's personal horse.

"Do you know where Lady Effie rode to?" he asked hopefully.

Another groom spoke up. "I saddled Juno for her myself not five minutes ago, Your Grace." He pointed. "She went that way."

"Thank you. Thank you all."

With that, Malcolm urged Zeus on, riding out to find the woman he loved.