Chapter Twelve

I do not know what has come over me.

Samuel considered Lady Florentina as she danced in the arms of Lord Barlow. It had been a little over a sennight since he had discovered himself at her mother’s townhouse, striding into the house as though he owned it and, thereafter, telling Lady Florentina the strange emotions which swirled through him as though, somehow, she would understand. He had spoken openly of his confusion and in doing so, had found that simply looking at her had brought him clarity. There had been shame within him—though he had been loath to admit it—and from that, a mortification that he had lost not only the company of Lord Crawley but also the company of Lord Allington. The troubling consideration of his character had made his heart thunder, his mind furiously working through how he viewed himself as opposed to the true person he presented to society and, indeed, to Lady Florentina and now, sometime after that, Samuel found his thoughts a good deal more settled.

Yes, he had been foolish in attempting to earn as much property and wealth as he could; not because the desire in itself had been in any way idiotic but rather in the way he had gone about it. To have such a lack of consideration for Lady Haddington and her daughters when he had first walked into the house was something he now found to be truly mortifying, wishing that he had reacted and behaved in an entirely different manner.

Though, as yet, he had no intention of giving up the house entirely. To do so would be to give up his betrothal to Lady Florentina for she would have no requirement then to marry him and Samuel was struggling to even think of such a situation. This last week, he had spent a good deal more time in her company and with every smile she offered him, every conversation they shared and every dance they stood up for together, Samuel felt himself becoming a little more pulled towards her. The thought of ending their betrothal was no longer something that brought him any joy though quite what he was feeling at present was not something he could understand and certainly could not express either.

“Your Grace! Good evening to you.”

Samuel’s thoughts were interrupted by none other than the incorrigible Lady Dinah, who Samuel thought in frustration, seemed determined to practically hang on his arm at every occasion they attended. “Lady Dinah, good evening.” He inclined his head. “I do hope that this evening is pleasing to you.”

She tilted her head. “I must ask you, Your Grace, when will you host an evening of some kind? I am sure that whatever it is you will throw will be the most exceptional evening of all!”

Samuel blinked in surprise. Even though Lady Dinah could often be bold in her manner and he was well aware of that, her questions and her frankness still astonished him. He drew himself up, looking away from her. “I am afraid, Lady Dinah, that I have no intention of throwing any sort of affair, as disappointing as that might be.”

“Oh?” Lady Dinah’s eyebrows lifted. “But the ton are speaking so highly of you of late, I am surprised that you would not think to host a decadent evening of a certain sort.”

This pricked up Samuel’s ears in an instant. “They are?” His whole body warmed. “How wonderful, I did not know such a thing!”

“Oh, yes!” Lady Dinah set a hand on his arm, gazing up at him. “I heard Lady Gosford and Lady Nightingale stating just how excellent a character you had and how highly those in the ton thought of you. I am sure there was conversation as regards what society might expect from you by way of entertainment but alas, if you do not feel able—”

Suddenly invigorated by her words, Samuel lifted himself up on his toes for just a moment, practically bouncing as he grinned. This was what he wanted from the ton , what he wanted for himself and now to hear that he had begun to achieve it… well, that was quite wonderful!

Though recall, you are only now realising that you ought not to be focusing on such a thing, said the quiet voice of his conscience, as Samuel’s smile faded a little. Have you not only just been thinking about all that you ought not to have done? Are you going to be so quick to return to it all?

“Your Grace?”

Samuel cleared his throat, forcing his smile to return. “Lady Dinah, how very kind of you to share such a thing with me. I shall consider hosting some event, of course, but—”

“How wonderful!” Lady Dinah squeezed his arm—which she had not as yet released—as her eyes twinkled up at him. “What shall it be? A ball? A soiree? A dinner party?”

“Wait a moment! Did I hear that you are going to host a ball?”

At the familiar voice, Samuel turned to see Lord Crawley’s eyebrows lifting so high, they were close to his hairline. “Lord Crawley.” Feeling a little panicked, he shook his head. “No, I have not had any real thought about such things. It is only—”

“The Duke is merely considering what sort of event he ought to host.” Yet again, Lady Dinah interrupted him and Samuel closed his eyes, shutting out the sight of Lord Crawley’s astonished face. “I think a ball would be the most exciting. All of the ton will be speaking of it! And you can show just how extravagant your wealth is also, of course.”

A deep longing grasped a hold of Samuel’s heart at this and, opening his eyes, he found himself nodding.

“You are throwing a ball?” Lord Crawley rolled his eyes. “Might it be because of some… announcement that you might wish to host such an event?”

At this, Samuel hesitated, surprised that he did not instantly reject the idea.

“Announcement?”

Hearing Lady Dinah, Samuel instantly scowled, recognising that for Lord Crawley to speak as he did in front of such company was an unwise thing to do. Besides that, his engagement to Lady Florentina was entirely his own and, given that his plan with Lord Allington had failed utterly, Lord Crawley did not need to have any further concerns.

Lady Dinah looked with interest from Samuel to Lord Crawley and back again as Samuel cleared his throat and looked away, hoping that his silence might betray his lack of desire to speak of such a thing.

Lady Dinah, however, was not to be put off. “That sounds intriguing! What sort of announcement might you be making, Your Grace?”

Frustrated all the more, Samuel did not answer her question, grasping Lord Crawley’s arm instead. “Do excuse us, Lady Dinah. There are some things I need to discuss with Lord Crawley.” Without hesitation, he hurried his friend away from the lady before turning on him, keeping his voice low as they stepped into the hallway. “Crawley, as concerned as you might be about Lady Florentina, might I request that you remain silent on such matters, given the present company? I am well aware of my responsibility, I can assure you. It is only taking me a little time to consider it.”

Lord Crawley’s eyebrows lifted. “Am I to understand, then, that you are now resigned to the fact that you are to marry Lady Florentina?”

Samuel opened his mouth and then closed it again as a heavy frown pulled across his forehead. He looked away, seeing Lady Dinah begin to wander through the crowd as he clenched his jaw tight as he considered his answer. Was he beginning to accept that he would soon have to wed? It was not something that he had delighted in, certainly, but now his thoughts were turning in a somewhat different direction.

“Dartmoor?”

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, Samuel looked back at his friend. “I have been doing a good deal of thinking of late, yes,” he said, shrugging as he tried to make out that his statement held very little consequence. “You may have noticed that I have been in company with Lady Florentina a good deal more of late.” There came not a single flicker of change in Lord Crawley’s expression and Samuel took this to mean that he had been aware of the change in Samuel’s behaviour. Samuel took in a breath. “Might I presume that you have said nothing to the lady about my previous intentions with Lord Allington?”

Instantly, a great and heavy shadow drew itself into Lord Crawley’s expression, his eyes narrowing, his jaw jutting forward. “How dare you ask me such a thing?”

“I…”

“Do not pretend that you have forgotten!” Lord Crawley gritted his teeth, turning his head away as his face flushed hot. “I heard your threat and it was more than clear—and shame on me, I could not bear to be separated from Lady Christina and thus, despite my better judgement, I have remained silent.”

Hearing this, Samuel’s entire body shook violently for a few moments as what felt like rivulets of shame and mortification washed over him. Closing his eyes tightly, he curled his hands tight, trying to control the shaking within him. Dropping his head, a groan escaped from his lips as he saw just how cruel he had been. This was his friend—though he might not be so any longer—but someone he had known for many a year, someone he respected and thought well of. Lord Crawley had always been excellent in his advice, though Samuel had usually disregarded it, and had, Samuel knew, put up with a good deal of nonsense and frustration given all that Samuel had chosen to do. How, then, could he have been so callous as to threaten to push Lady Christina away from such a gentleman? How could he have done such a thing? Was he truly as selfish and cruel as all that? Was that the sort of gentleman he wished to be?

“I am sorry.”

Opening his eyes, he looked directly back at Lord Crawley, taking in a deep breath before saying the very same thing again.

“I am sorry. Truly sorry. I ought never to have said such a thing to you, I ought never to have made such a threat. It was selfishness that spoke to you, my own personal determinations wanting to force your hand and, now that I see it, I feel nothing but shame.” Lifting his shoulders, he let them drop, seeing the slight narrowing of Lord Crawley’s eyes. “You do not have to believe me. Indeed, I see that you doubt me and I quite understand that. It is just as I said to Lady Florentina when I asked if we might improve our connection, I do not expect your trust. But if it means even the smallest thing, then I can assure you that I speak the truth.”

Lord Crawley’s brows knotted together.

“I ought never to have said such a thing,” Samuel finished, his heart heavy and weighted in his chest. “I can only apologise.”

All he received in return was a nod. Samuel, not certain what he ought to do or say next, remained silent, letting his gaze go to the walls of the hallway in which they were, taking in the paintings that hung there. There were many others walking back and forth between rooms, but none of their conversations held the slightest intrigue for Samuel. All he cared about was hearing what Lord Crawley would say.

“Did you truly ask Lady Florentina to improve your connection?”

Samuel nodded. “I did.”

“I will ask her.”

A slight lift of Samuel’s lips spoke of his wry understanding. “Then she will tell you that I asked her if we might become friends. As foolish as that might sound to you—for it did sound quite ridiculous to me also—that is what I asked her for. And she has, much to her credit, done that very thing. Whether she trusts me or not is yet to be seen, however.”

“Your Grace?”

Samuel’s heart jumped as Lady Florentina came into view, her eyebrows lifting slightly as she took in his companion. “Lady Florentina.”

“Lady Florentina, good evening.” Lord Crawley inclined his head. “I was in conversation with the Duke, as you can see, but if you require him then I can step back, of course.”

Lady Florentina smiled and Samuel’s own lips curved. “I thank you.” Her eyes turned to his, a softness there which made Samuel’s whole being warm suddenly. “The next dance is the waltz, Dartmoor.”

“Ah.” A grin spread right across Samuel’s face as he stepped away from Lord Crawley, suddenly more than eager to be in her company again, to have her close to him as they danced. “Finally, we shall have our waltz, Florentina.”

She accepted his arm with a smile, not so much as glancing at Lord Crawley. “Yes, it seems that we shall.”

With a nod to his former friend and silently wondering what Lord Crawley would be thinking of all of this, Samuel made his way back to the ballroom, arm in arm with his betrothed.

And suddenly, he could not think of a single reason why he ought to delay the announcement of their engagement any longer. Perhaps he ought to do as Lady Dinah had suggested and throw a ball… but in honour of his betrothed.