Chapter Ten

“Lord Crawley.”

Samuel moved to stand beside his old friend, aware of the immediate curl of Lord Crawley’s lip. The gentleman did not turn towards him, did not even make a single sound in response to Samuel’s greeting, leaving him to try again.

“You have been speaking with Lady Florentina a great deal these last two weeks,” he said, trying his best to keep any tone of accusation out of his voice. “And you have barely said a word to me.”

At this, Lord Crawley finally glanced at him. “You do recall what I said to you, do you not? That I find your behavior despicable, your inconsideration and selfishness utterly repulsive?”

Samuel’s skin prickled. “You did not say those words exactly.”

“But to that effect.”

Having no other choice but to nod, Samuel did so.

“Then it should not come as any surprise to you that I have not been in conversation with you,” Lord Crawley continued, a little darkly. “Why are you here, Dartmoor?”

Samuel hesitated, unsure of what he wanted to say. He had come to speak with Lord Crawley, hoping to make it clear that he expected his friend to say nothing to Lady Florentina about his current scheme. But now, seeing the anger on his estranged friend's face, Samuel felt a growing uncertainty.

“You are to come to ask me why I am in company with Lady Florentina, Lady Christina and Lady Haddington, yes?” Lord Crawley rolled his eyes as Samuel started in surprise, betraying himself as he did so. “I do not think that you have any right to ask me any such thing, Dartmoor. We are no longer on such terms, and I am not accountable to you.”

“But I do hope that our former closeness will have a lingering loyalty all the same,” Samuel answered, speaking slowly as he thought about what he wanted to say. “And by that I mean—”

“Lady Florentina is highly suspicious of me and thus far, has not permitted me to say a single word to her in private,” Lord Crawley interrupted, his expression darkening all the more. “Though do not think that I will remain silent should she grant me permission. What you are doing to her is deeply unfair and I have every intention of telling her of your actions, should she give me a chance to speak.”

A knot of fear tied itself in Samuel’s stomach. “You cannot.”

“But I can,” came the answer, Lord Crawley’s face tight with clear anger. “I know that you think you can do as you please, that your only thought is for yourself, but I will not simply stand by and watch you bring pain and sorrow to a young lady who has already given up her future and her happiness for the sake of others.” He threw up his hands. “Do you not see the difference between you both, Dartmoor? You think that you are somehow lost by being attached to her, that you are a fool for your betrothal, but you do not realise just how much you have in that lady’s company! She is selfless, kind-hearted, generous and loving—all the things that you are not—and her character shines out nothing but beauty. You possess none of those qualities, and instead of recognising the precious gift you have in her, you intend to shatter it into a thousand pieces and then trample it into the dirt. You will ruin her utterly, and no doubt, you will take pleasure in it because you will be free once more.”

Samuel swallowed tightly, wishing he could find some way to refute all that had been said. Deep down, he knew that Lady Florentina was precisely as Lord Crawley had stated and yet, his heart did not want to admit it. If he did, then Samuel feared what might follow thereafter for a hint of that had already struck his heart… and he did not much like it.

“So yes, be assured that I will say what I can whenever I can,” Lord Crawley finished, turning his head away. “Once she trusts me, then I will speak though I can only pray it will come sooner rather than later.”

A streak of anger rushed through Samuel. “If you do so, then I will break Lady Christina away from you.”

Lord Crawley’s eyebrow shot up just as a heavy weight of conscience poured into Samuel’s soul, telling him to stop speaking before he could make such a terrible threat in its entirety. “I beg your pardon?”

“I—I know that you have an interest in Lady Christina. I have seen it,” Samuel continued, though he then closed his eyes, dragging in air. Could he really say this? Could he really threaten someone he considered a friend still?

“Your Grace, I must speak with you.”

Samuel’s eyes shot open as Lord Allington caught his arm. “Allington, now is not a time for conversation. Lord Crawley and I were just— ”

“I do not think that I can do as you have asked.” Ignoring him, Lord Allington threw up both hands, beginning to pace in between Samuel and Lord Crawley, the latter of whom had gone very quiet indeed, his face a little paler than before. “I understand that you have every desire for Lady Florentina to choose to step away from you and that I was only ever meant to play a part but, truth be told, I find that my heart has other intentions.”

Swallowing hard, Samuel’s eyes rounded as he stared at Lord Allington, trying to make sense of what his friend was saying.

And then, Lord Crawley let out a bark of laughter. “Good gracious, Lord Allington! Are you stating that you are truly interested in Lady Florentina?”

Lord Allington groaned, throwing back his head before, after another few moments, nodding. “It is quite dreadful. I do not know what to say nor what to do but what I am certain of is that I cannot injure her.”

“But… but you must!” Samuel exclaimed, desperation beginning to course through him. “I must have her fully convinced that you are eager to court her, that your intentions are towards matrimony!”

With a steadiness in his gaze that Samuel had not expected, Lord Allington lifted both hands outwards, a heaviness now in his expression. “That might well be the truth, Dartmoor. I had not expected it but the more time I have spent in Lady Florentina’s company, the more I have come to realise just how much of a treasure she is.”

“Then why do you not offer to marry her?” Lord Crawley tilted his head, though there was a look in his eyes that Samuel did not much like, as though somehow he knew what difficulty his question would present. “It would steal her from the Duke, which is what he wants.”

Lord Allington shook his head, a wretchedness in his face now. “Would that I could! Alas, I am all too aware that should I offer to do such a thing, should I give her my heart and plead with her to marry me, she would then be torn between her clear desire to step back from you, Your Grace, and her loyalty to her family.”

Letting out a long, weary sigh, he looked again at Samuel. “Recall that I am all too aware of what hold you have on her. If the betrothal ends, as you hope, then the marriage cannot continue and the house you have taken from Lord Haddington will continue to be yours. And she, in seeing this and in taking on your foolish offer, will take the house back from you on the day of her marriage and let it again return to her family, so they might be safe and happy and secure for the rest of their days.”

Putting one hand to his heart, Lord Allington’s eyes narrowed. “I have a great respect for the lady, more than I have had for any other in my company. She is willing to give of herself, to sacrifice her own happiness for the sake of others. And I have been a fool, willing to injure her most grievously in order to assist a friend… well, I shall do that no longer. Painful though it is, I must step back and leave her to your care, Your Grace. For she is your betrothed, and I shall make no attempt to steal her from you, even though my heart longs to do so.”

With this, and with another sorrowful sigh breaking from his lips, Lord Allington turned away and left Samuel and Lord Crawley to stand together. Samuel did not know what to say or even what to think, utterly nonplussed at all that had just been revealed to him.

Then, Lord Crawley chuckled. “It appears as though I have no need to speak to Lady Florentina after all,” he told Samuel, a brightness in his voice that Samuel instantly despised. “Lord Allington too has seen just what a gift Lady Florentina is and that, I believe, ought to give you much to consider.”

“I shall not consider it,” Samuel muttered, though Lord Crawley, with a roll of his eyes, immediately stepped away and left Samuel alone.

Then, without warning, a sudden loneliness took over. Samuel watched as Lord Crawley made his way to Lord Allington and, with a slap on the gentleman’s shoulder, quickly fell into conversation with him. Slowly, Samuel began to realise that not one but two gentlemen had now stepped away from him, no longer considering him a friend but instead rejecting him utterly. That was not what he had desired, not what he had wanted for himself and his standing within society and yet, that was what he was being left with. The threat he had made to Lord Crawley echoed back in his mind and Samuel winced, dropping his head and rubbing one hand over his forehead.

Did I truly utter such words?

His eyes closed tightly.

And would I have done such a thing?

For the very first time, Samuel saw a reflection of himself as though he were looking into a looking glass though, this time, it was the realization of how others saw him rather than how he saw himself. There was not a warm smile on his lips but rather a cold, calculating one. There was no gentleness in his eyes but instead, a hard glint. Over and over, Samuel told himself that he would never have truly broken Lord Crawley away from Lady Christina, that he had only used it as a threat so he might get what he wanted. But even that now made shame bucket down upon him, tearing at his soul.

Your only thought is for yourself.

“But there is nothing wrong with that,” Samuel said aloud, trying to convince himself that it was so. “It is quite understandable, is it not?”

And yet, as the music played, the laughter and the smiles dancing around him, Samuel felt nothing but regret seep into his heart. Without warning, he strode through the crowd, suddenly desperate to be free of them, needing to be entirely alone. Feeling every eye upon him, he rushed through the door that led to the hallway and then outside, into the cool evening air.

And yet, despite the space and the freedom, it still felt as though everything was still closing in.