Chapter Twelve

When Serena awoke the next morning, her heart leapt into her throat as she bolted upright in bed. Nothing looked familiar to her for a moment, and she struggled to break free from the fog of sleep and recall where she was and why. As she lifted her hands to rub her eyes, the morning sunlight glinted on a simple gold band on the third finger of her left hand. She remembered, with a jolt, exactly where she was. And why.

She fell back onto the bed, covering her face with her hands. Her first day as Rowan's wife and duchess of Dalenwood, and she already felt as though she had lived a long, exhausting year in the roles. She wanted to hope that Rowan might try being a little bit warmer toward her now that they were bound to one another until death parted them.

However, he had never given her any indication that there was more to his personality than what he'd shown her. She knew that to hope for change now was futile and would only add to her rapidly mounting disappointment.

Reluctantly, Serena dragged herself out of bed and summoned Christine. Her lady's maid entered her new chambers a few minutes later, and in less than an hour she was dressed in a pale yellow, high-necked satin day dress and matching slippers and gloves. Christine pinned up her hair in a chignon style, using brand-new, diamond encrusted hairpins that made it look like Serena's blond hair glittered with large drops of water.

As she slowly made her way to join her new husband for breakfast in a dining room that was new to her, her mind raced with thoughts of the day ahead. She would need to be made familiar with Rowan's family mansion. She considered asking him when she might be able to explore or be guided around to learn her way around. But if he remained as reluctant about answering her questions as he had been the previous day, she'd be waiting for an answer to something so simple for the rest of her life. And with her uncertainty about her relationship with Rowan, she didn't know how far she could push to get answers from him before she created more distance between them, and more discomfort and unhappiness for herself. The weight of it all felt heavier than a water-bogged sea craft, and it threatened to overtake her composure.

With a deep breath, she entered the dining room, wearing a polite smile. Her expression trembled when she saw that the dowager duchess was seated alongside her son. Eleanor Davenport had not spoken a single word to her as of yet. And the tension that Serena could feel in the air the second she crossed the threshold of the dining room told her that that was not likely to change.

She took her seat across from her mother-in-law to the left of her new husband. Rowan gave her an almost imperceptible nod but did not speak a word to her. Serena immediately wished that she had decided to plead a megrim and remain in her chambers for the day.

"Serena, dear," the dowager said, breaking the silence so suddenly that Serena almost dropped the fork she had just picked up. "I had an idea that I would share with you, if you would allow me."

Serena stared at her mother-in-law, stunned that she was speaking to her. She glanced at Rowan, who looked just as surprised as she was, but offered her nothing in the way of a glance that was either reassuring or warning. Serena cleared her throat, taking a sip of her water to compose herself. When she trusted herself to speak, she did so.

"Of course, Your Grace," she said. "I would love to hear your idea."

The dowager smiled, looking relieved.

"Please, darling, call me Eleanor," she said. "I thought that perhaps we should host a ball in your honour, to formally introduce you to the ton as the new duchess of Dalenwood."

If Rowan hadn't been shocked before, the crash of his coffee cup to the ground indicated that he certainly was then. He leapt up as some of the hot liquid splashed onto his lap and he began rubbing it with his napkin. Once he was more composed, he sat back down, placing the napkin carefully over the stain on his knee.

"Mother," Rowan said as a maid cleaned up the spill and broken glass, and another brought him a new cup and filled it with coffee. "Serena should have time to settle in first. I believe that a ball would be rather overwhelming for her right now."

Serena looked at her new husband curiously. That was the first bit of concern he had shown for her or her feelings, however presumptuous it might be. She didn't know how she felt about having a ball to put herself on display as the new duchess. But as she locked eyes with Rowan, the intensity sent her heart aflutter. There was clearly emotion in his gaze, for the first time since she had met him. Why had he chosen that moment to let down his guard, if only a little bit?

She knew that as her husband, Rowan got the final say in anything she did. However, it was also the first time her mother-in-law had engaged her in conversation, and she didn't want to insult the dowager by rejecting her idea immediately. She braced herself for Rowan's insistence or ordering her to comply with his wishes as she smiled sweetly at the dowager.

"That does sound like a lovely idea, Eleanor," she said, looking at her mother-in-law once more. "I would love to discuss any details you might have considered later today."

The dowager beamed at her, and Serena saw how beautiful she once was. The expression took ten years off her face, and her blue eyes sparkled with delight.

"Wonderful, darling," she said. "We shall meet for tea after Rowan has given you a tour of the manor and the grounds."

Rowan looked up at the women, his jaw set.

"I have assigned the tour to the head housekeeper, Mrs. Jameson," he said. "I have pressing matters to attend to, and I shan't be able to conduct the tour myself."

Serena looked at her new husband, feeling disappointed at his announcement. She knew he was likely lying; that he did not wish to spend any time with her that was not completely necessary. But even if he was telling the truth, she would be missing a chance to try to get Rowan to open up to her.

With her being married to him, she supposed that he would need to open up a little so they could have a functioning, if loveless, marriage. But that would never happen if he intended to avoid every situation where they would be alone. Had she lost any chance of being alone with him again by pressing him with questions about why he had married her the day before?

Nevertheless, she simply gave him a small smile and a nod.

"Very well," she said, determined to prove to the dowager that she could stay composed and embrace her new role. "I am looking forward to the tour."

Rowan seemed surprised at her lack of arguing or protest. She simply returned her attention to the meal, forcing herself to eat even as the food grew cold. Shortly after, Rowan excused himself and left the table, and the dowager wasn't far behind. When they were gone, she herself fled the table in search of Mrs. Jameson.

A tall, wiry woman met her just outside the dining room a few minutes later. She gave Serena a tired smile, gesturing for Serena to follow.

"This way, Your Grace," she said. "I'm afraid the tour will be rather quick, as I must get back to give the other maids their assignments for the day."

Serena nodded and smiled graciously.

"I understand," she said. "I appreciate you taking the time to lead me around the mansion."

The housekeeper looked taken aback at Serena's kindness and understanding. Her second smile was a bit more genuine, reaching her light brown eyes as she curtseyed to Serena.

"Thank you, Your Grace," she said. "Let us get started."

The tour was, indeed, a very brief one. Mrs. Jameson named each room as she opened their respective doors, and Serena worked hard to commit them to memory. She saw the basement, which was comprised of a wine cellar and the quarters for the maids, footmen and housekeepers. Then, there was the dining room, the breakfast room, a billiard's room, a music room, Rowan's study, the kitchens, one parlor and drawing room and the ballroom, as well as the entrance hall and the library on the first floor. There were also more servant's quarters for the scullery maids and the kitchen staff.

Serena was in awe, allowing herself to be distracted for the moment by the mansion's magnificence. The library in particular caught her attention as she briefly surveyed the towering shelves and warmth she felt from the doorway, as though the room was beckoning her to enter and enjoy a book or two.

On the second floor there were guest bedrooms, a smaller, more sparsely filled library, which would no doubt be used as a schoolroom if the duke every had children, bedchambers for the dowager, Rowan and Serena, which included their own washrooms, and two sitting rooms. On the third, there was nothing but a large attic, filled with neatly stacked boxes. She tried to smile as Mrs. Jameson turned to face her.

"Are you ready to see the grounds now, Your Grace?" she asked.

Serena nodded. She thought that a walk through a garden might help soothe her nerves. She followed the housekeeper back downstairs and through the back hallways until they reached the servant's entrance to the mansion. As soon as they stepped out into the early afternoon sunlight, Serena's breath was caught in her throat. She stood staring at the sprawling grounds before her, momentarily forgetting everything except for the splendor.

The floral garden itself was surrounded by a white fence and divided into quadrants, split by cobblestone pathways, with smaller, packed dirt paths that allowed people to peruse each row of magnificent flower bushes and beds. The flowers the dowager and Rowan had chosen consisted of Alba and Gallica roses in white, red, yellow, pink and orange, tulips of various shades of purple and pink, as well as white ones, all color of carnations and hyacinths that matched the carnations.

The herb gardens, which were fenced in by foxgloves, were just to the left of the flower gardens, had sage, thyme, rosemary, garlic, parsley and mint, as well as lavender, the fragrance of which blended surprisingly well with the surrounding herbs. The vegetable garden, which was of the same size as the herb garden and positioned in a perfect line just behind it, contained potatoes, tomatoes, lettuce, leeks, celery and carrots. In the far left corner of the property, there was a vineyard, as well as small apple, cherry, plum and peach orchards. At the outskirts of the orchards was a small shack, which Mrs. Jameson explained to her was the gardener's living quarters.

"There is one gardener for all of this?" she asked, her breath stolen by the beauty and grandeur of it all.

The housekeeper laughed.

"Oh, heavens no," she said. "He and his wife, as well as a couple of men they hired, tend to the gardens. The stable manager sees to the stables, which are to the far right of the edge of the property, just before the tree line that leads to the forest, as well as the pond, which is adjacent to it, the meadow and wildflowers."

Serena nodded. Her own family's gardens had been lavish, but considerably smaller. She wandered down the paths, admiring the statues and fountains, the marble benches and the brilliant white gazebo in the center of the flower gardens as she walked.

"This is wonderful," she said, already envisioning herself spending many hours surrounded by such beauty. At least, she had finally found something to appreciate in a situation where there was nothing else that was anything but cold and intimidating.

Mrs. Jameson gave her a warm smile.

"I do hope you will be happy here, Your Grace," she said. "Your smile is radiant, and your kind eyes tell me that you will be a most excellent duchess."

Serena smiled warmly at the woman, patting her gently on the back. She didn't think she would ever truly be happy there. But there was no reason to say such morbid things to such a lovely woman.

"Thank you, Mrs. Jameson," she said.

***

Serena was just finishing freshening up and having Christine, who Rowan had allowed her to bring with her to Dalenwood Manor, help her into a deep blue evening gown to be dressed for dinner, when there was a knock on her chamber door. Christine went to answer it to find the dowager standing there. Serena gave her a warm smile.

"Please," she said, gesturing her mother-in-law to enter.

The dowager returned her smile but shook her head.

"I did not mean to disturb you while you were dressing," she said. "I only came to ask if you would like to join me for tea in a few minutes?"

Serena nodded.

"I would be delighted, Eleanor," she said.

The dowager dipped her head, giving Serena another kind smile.

"Do not rush," she said. "I just ordered the servants to prepare the tea and cakes. We will be in the drawing room whenever you're ready."

Serena nodded, beaming at Eleanor.

"Thank you," she said. "But I am almost dressed. I shall be right down."

The dowager nodded, stepping back and closing the door behind her. Christine's eyes lit up and she grinned at Serena.

"It appears as though you have already made quite an impression on Her Grace," she said.

Serena nodded.

"Yes," she said with a small smile. "I thought she hated me. But it seems I was mistaken."

Christine finished up with fastening Serena's dress and tidying up her hair.

"Seems that way," she said as she put a small tiara on Serena's head. "And what of your handsome husband?"

Serena bit her lip, shaking her head.

"He is not so easily impressed," she said. "In fact, I think he's become colder than before we were married."

Christine gave her a reassuring look.

"Give it time, Your Grace," she said. "The first days of marriage are strange for everyone, from what I understand. I am sure that comfort and contentment will come in time."

Serena sighed.

"I am not sure that's true," she said. "But it is what it is. And this is a lovely home. I am sure that I can find something that makes me happy here." Or less miserable, at the very least.

A few minutes later, Christine led Serena downstairs to the drawing room, where the dowager was, indeed, waiting for her. Serena smiled as she entered the room, taking a soft velvet chair across from her mother-in-law.

Eleanor gestured to the table, where fresh tea and pastries sat on trays between them.

"Help yourself, dear," she said.

Serena nodded, her mouth watering at the selection of cookies, and cakes before her.

"Thank you, Eleanor," she said.

As she filled a small plate with treats and a cup with steaming tea, Eleanor set aside her refreshments and looked at her.

"Thank you for joining me," she said. "While Rowan is out for the afternoon, I wanted to take a moment to apologise. My son's behaviour is abrasive, at best, and he pushes away those who want to care about him. He has lived as a recluse for so long that I fear he has forgotten social interaction."

Serena nodded.

"I understand, Your Grace," she said, even though there was a great deal she did not understand. "I do not hold a grudge against Rowan. I expect that things will be better in a few days."

The dowager's face clouded for a moment. She said nothing with her lips, but her eyes spoke volumes. She not only doubted that Serena would be right, but she was also certain that her daughter-in-law would be very wrong. And truthfully, so was Serena.

"Well, what plans should we begin making for the ball first?" she asked, changing the subject brightly.

Serena smiled, relieved to have avoided speaking too much about her concerns about her marriage to Rowan.

"This is my very first ball as a duchess, Eleanor," she said. "And my aunt Imogen planned any balls my father hosted at our townhouse. I'm afraid I know very little of such planning."

Eleanor beamed, looking at Serena with a fond gaze.

"Do not fret, darling," she said. "I will help and teach you every step of the way."

Serena blushed and nodded. It was strange, since she had believed the dowager had hated her just earlier that morning. But Eleanor was rapidly becoming like another mother figure to her. They discussed flowers and themes and decorations, as well as potential guests and shopping for new dresses, which they agreed to do later that week. The rest of the day passed with surprising quickness with the flurry of preparations and ideas. Yet despite the welcomed distraction, she wondered about the secretive inclinations of her husband. The dowager had not offered much in the way of an explanation for Rowan's strange persona, and Serena wondered if his own mother knew why he was so aloof.

There was one thing of which she was certain, however. There was a deeper truth beneath Eleanor's vague apology and Rowan's refusal to give answers to her questions. She needed to find the key to unlocking the mystery of her marriage and the man she was slowly learning to call her husband. And she needed to find some way to do it without pushing him completely away. Or driving herself mad.