Chapter Nine

The next several days passed in a blur. Rushed wedding preparations took place all around Serena, but she was only vaguely aware of her presence in them. There was little time for shopkeepers to provide the services that would be needed for a wedding that was only days away. Thus, though Imogen did her best to get Serena the best that was available to them, nothing was as she had imagined it would be on the wedding day she had dreamed of since she was eight years old.

Through all the hasty errands and planning, Serena kept wondering what her father's reasoning behind forcing her into marriage so soon after her debut could be. She had been named diamond of the season, and the number of suitors interested in pursuing her had not been disappointing.

She hadn't even attended another event since her own ball, and she knew that her popularity would have only increased by the time the next party or dinner arrived. And she had even found a gentleman who had captured her interest. But her father had not so much as given her the chance to explain that to him.

And what of the Duke of Dalenwood? What motives could he possibly have for asking for the hand of a woman he clearly could barely tolerate? She was not an heiress in any respect. Julian was the rightful heir to her father's title, fortune, and legacy. Nor was the earl higher in social status than the duke was.

She was certain that his own fortune was greater even than her father's, despite the fact that the earl was among the wealthiest men in the ton, even above many dukes and marquess's. So, what would make the duke wish to marry her, even as an arrangement, out of all the women in the ton? And why so suddenly?

Imogen was a saint. Despite the difficulties in the planning and preparations, she managed to organize a wedding that was simple but elegant, befitting that of an earl's daughter. However, Serena's concerns and disappointment were compounded by the fact that nothing was as she had always hoped it would be. She would not even be able to have her wedding in a church, as she'd always wanted. There was already a wedding taking place on the day of her own, so Imogen had had to make arrangements for Serena to marry the Duke at her family's home.

"Sweet niece," Imogen said to her as they picked flowers from the Yardley Estate gardens. "I hate to see you so glum, especially just before your own wedding day."

Serena sighed, shaking her head.

"You know as well as I do that this is not a happy occasion for me," she said. "I am supposed to love the man I marry. But not only do I hardly know the Duke of Dalenwood, but he does not even seem to like me. None of it makes any sense, Aunt Imogen. I can't be anything but disappointed. And even a bit frightened."

Imogen embraced Serena, hugging her for a long moment before speaking again.

"I know this is a rather strange turn of events," she said. "But I believe that fate works in mysterious ways. Even if you do not see it now, there is every chance that you will end up happier than you ever dreamed possible. You must try to be positive, darling. You will never be anything but miserable if you don't try to find contentment."

Serena nodded, doubting every word her aunt said, for the very first time in her life. She understood that Imogen was merely trying to inject some semblance of joy into the occasion. In truth, Serena would have given anything just to be able to smile about her wedding day, if only once. But she could not stand the idea of becoming merely content with her situation. Not when she had dreamt of marrying for love and having a family with a husband who adored her just as she did him.

Two days before her wedding, the seamstress made a call to her family's home. There had, naturally, not been time to have a wedding dress tailored for her, and none of the shops had any premade that she liked that could be altered to fit her in enough time.

Thus, Imogen had given her the idea to alter the gown she had worn to her debut ball into a makeshift wedding dress. It was almost as heartbreaking as it was to marry the Duke- to have to destroy the dress from the best night of her life to make one she would wish to forget every single day for the rest of it.

With pieces of padding added to make the skirt a bit fuller and swatches of white silk to make the sleeves longer and the neckline higher, with pearl buttons added to accommodate the adjusted neckline and with lace ruffles sewn onto the new additions to the dress, the seamstress was making the final adjustments in a matter of hours. Imogen stared at her niece with tears welling in her eyes as the seamstress stepped back to allow Serena to see herself in the looking glass.

"Darling, it is absolutely beautiful," she said, her voice trembling. "Your mother truly would be incredibly proud of you."

Serena's lip trembled, but she tried to smile at her aunt as the seamstress began gathering her things.

"Thank you, Aunt," she said. Neither woman spoke as the absence of Caroline Yardley filled up the room. Serena had expected a certain bittersweet feeling to her wedding day, given that her mother would not be there to see her marry. However, now that her wedding was just one day away, there was far less sweet than bitter. In fact, if Serena found anything sweet, apart from refreshments served following the ceremony, she felt that it would be a miracle.

A knock on the door to her chambers interrupted the emotional silence in the room. The seamstress, who was already on her way out of the room, opened the door to reveal Julian standing on the other side. He had been away on business since the day before her father told her that she was to marry the duke.

She had never been happier to see Julian, and it was all she could do not to fly into his arms sobbing, like she did when she was a child and she fell down and scraped her knees. When their eyes met, he stared at her for a long moment before speaking.

"So, it's true," he said as he looked from her to Imogen.

Imogen gave Serena an encouraging look, which she barely acknowledged. Then, Serena looked back at her brother, nodding a head so heavy it was nearly impossible to hold up.

"Yes," she whispered.

Julian's chin bobbed as he opened and closed his mouth. Imogen gave the siblings a knowing smile, heading for the door.

"I will leave the two of you to discuss this news," she said, embracing Julian quickly and kissing him on the cheek before she left the room.

Serena waited until the door had closed behind her aunt, leaving them to a rare moment of solitude between the siblings. Then, she allowed her brother to take her in his arms and hold her as more tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Sister, how has this happened?" he asked. "You were so excited about this season, especially after having been named diamond."

Serena nodded, wiping furiously at the tears on her cheeks.

"I was, indeed," she said. "But Father took away any hopes I had of enjoying the season and finding a man I love."

Julian frowned.

"Why would Father make such a decision on your behalf?" he asked.

Serena shrugged, throwing up her hands in exasperation she had been holding in since her father announced her betrothal to the Duke.

"I do not know," she said. "He would tell me nothing of his decision or his reasons for it, no matter how much I pleaded with him."

Julian sighed, shaking his head.

"I wonder what could make him decide on such a drastic move," he said. "He never said anything to you about considering an arranged marriage?"

Serena shook her head but stopped mid motion.

"No," she said slowly. "But he was acting rather strange in the days leading up to my debut ball. And the morning of the party, he was distant, almost simultaneously disinterested and frightened. I wanted to mention it to Aunt Imogen, but she said he was probably just worried about something regarding work."

Julian listened intently, his brow furrowing.

"I recall you looking concerned after speaking with him," he said, chewing on his lip. "And now, I regret not doing something to help you figure out what he was thinking. Perhaps, if I had, this would not be happening to you right now."

Serena embraced her brother, shaking her head fiercely.

"No, Brother," she said. "You cannot blame yourself. Neither of us could have ever guessed that this what was plaguing Father. None of the blame is yours in this."

Julian snorted, but his expression was humorless.

"I could have tried to talk him out of making this mistake," he said. "Even if he did not tell me why he was doing it, I could have bought you some time to find a husband of your own."

Serena gave her brother a small smile. It was good to have Julian on her side about the whole arrangement. But she could not allow him to feel guilty about the situation.

To Serena's disappointment, their precious time together was interrupted by a knock on the door. Julian went to answer it to find the butler standing there.

"Lady Imogen requests your presence at dinner this evening," he said. "She had arranged for the Duke of Dalenwood and the Dowager Duchess of Dalenwood to join us in celebration of your upcoming wedding and they have just sent a note of acceptance. Lady Olivia and her family will be in attendance, as well."

Serena felt the floor tilt beneath her feet. Not only was Imogen not speaking to her father about the ludicrously rapid betrothal and pending wedding, but she was also proceeding as though it were an event that Serena wanted. She closed her eyes, leaning against Julian, who put his arm protectively around her waist.

"Thank you, Nathaniel," he said.

The butler bowed, giving Serena a sympathetic look before vanishing back down the hallway. She was happy to hear that she would get to see her dear friend. But under the circumstances, she would be better off locking herself in her room and never coming out.

"Oh, Julian," she said, turning and burying her face in her brother's shoulder once more. "I cannot do this. Surely, Father cannot make me do this."

Julian held her close, stroking her hair.

"I am so sorry, Sister," he said. "I would do anything to change this fate for you."

Serena looked at her brother. She knew he would lay down his life if it would spare her a moment of pain. But she also knew that there was never anything he could have done to change their father's mind.

"Thank you, Brother," she said, embracing him once more. "That you would be so eager to help me is solace enough. Some good will come of this. It must."

But it was clear that Julian did not believe her sudden optimism, any more than she did. Still, there was nothing she could do. Her wedding would take place the following day. And nothing would stop or change the unhappy future that faced her beyond the ceremony.

***

The first thing Serena noticed when she reached the dining room that evening was that the Duke was not present. The dowager duchess, however, was. And as her father formally introduced the two women, she noticed that the dowager looked through her, rather than at her, and that her polite smile did not reach her eyes.

"It is a pleasure to meet you," Serena said in as pleasant a voice as she could muster. It was not the dowager's fault that she had been dragged into such a position. And she did not think it prudent to upset the woman who would be her future mother-in-law.

"Likewise," the dowager said cooly, causing Serena to shiver. It was clear immediately from whence the duke got his coldness and detachment. And even when Olivia rose from her seat to embrace Serena, she did not feel welcomed, even in her own family's dining room.

"It will be all right, darling," Olivia whispered in her ear, holding onto Serena for an extra minute longer.

Serena shook her head, choking back fresh tears as she looked at the people gathered to celebrate her union to a man she did not love.

"No, Liv," she whispered back. "I do not think anything will ever be all right again."

Throughout the meal, Olivia and Julian did their best to cheer up Serena and keep the conversation around her lively and entertaining. Imogen kept the dowager engaged in polite conversation which did not extend beyond the depths of the latest fashion and upcoming ton events.

And yet, as everyone tried to pretend that the wedding the following day was the happiest occasion to ever occur in their two families, Serena couldn't help withdrawing into herself, unable to stop thinking about the future that was steadily being built for her. How could she and the duke create a life together when he seemed so unwilling to work with her? He couldn't even be bothered to show up to his own wedding celebration dinner. How could she ever expect him to show up for anything else in their marriage?

When the meal at last concluded, she remained in the grand hall just long enough to help her father and aunt bid farewell to their guests. As soon as they were gone, she hurried to her chambers, her heart heavy with dread and fear. Alone with her thoughts for the first time in days, she collapsed onto her bed, allowing her tears to flow freely. She mourned the dreams she had once held so dear, finding it surreal that she would be releasing her hopes for all of them the following day.

With a trembling breath, Serena pulled the blanket up under her chin, not bothering to summon Christine to help her undress for bed. It was energy she did not wish to muster, not when she would only toss and turn all night, anyway.

But one thing she could do was learn to face her future with grace and resilience, even as her heart ached for the love and compassion she needed so desperately. A future already set in stone could hardly be erased. What sense was there in praying for a change in something that was permanent?