Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty-Nine

B efore today, Robert hadn't put much thought into his wedding day, or how it might pan out. In all honesty, he'd simply expected to turn up at the church, say his vows, and then leave with his bride. It had never once crossed his mind that his wedding day would also involve endless speeches at the wedding breakfast, and then forcing a smile to his face while playing the happy groom at a lavish society ball which seemed to have no end.

It was two in the morning before he and Victoria were finally able to make their escape from Mowbray House, and into his waiting carriage. They had been husband and wife since eleven o'clock the previous day, but this was the first time since the wedding service that they had actually been alone.

Seated next to him on the hard leather seat, his new wife was silent. The distance between them, while a matter of inches, felt like a yawning chasm. He couldn't imagine how today had been for Victoria. How disappointing.

This is my fault. I should have paid her more attention over the past week.

But this sudden, unexpected wedding had caused him to make some hasty changes to his well laid out plans. He couldn't very well bring his wife into Tolley House while the kitchen and scullery were near full to the ceiling with stolen crates of spice.

Robert reached out and took a hold of Victoria's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You did well today. I don't know how you remembered all those people's names and titles."

She shifted in her seat and released her hand from his hold. "Practice. My mother made me learn the guest list. It was important to her that I be word perfect for everyone who was attending both the wedding and the ball."

He caught the truth in Victoria's words. For her. For the duchess. This had been her mother's wedding, her way to make a grand reentry to London society. Her daughter had merely been the conduit for such.

And it wasn't as if Victoria was marrying someone she loved. If she had, then at least she would have that to comfort her.

No, she has me.

"Have you managed to arrange more servants for Tolley House?" she asked.

Robert shook his head. He hadn't. And he didn't intend to do so, not until he could come up with an alternative place to hide his future stores of stolen spice. The cellar might be empty at the moment, but unless he could find a secure storage space, that wouldn't last.

"Not as yet. The usual daytime servant cohort will be here at nine each morning, then they will leave promptly at five. I can cook us supper each evening. If you like, we could continue with our cooking lessons. Move beyond omelets."

Her gentle sigh, or was that a sniff of tears, had him quickly glancing at her. Lord help him if he made her cry on their wedding night.

"I suppose I shall manage. It's now my role in life to make the best of this union."

This was killing him.

He had no qualms about being ruthless with the rogues at the East India, but when it came to his new wife, Robert was lost. Guilt oozed from his every pore.

I should have found another way to woo her.

An apology for having married her was ready on his lips, but he held it back. The last thing she needed to know on her wedding night was that her husband was sorry for making her his, for having stolen her future happiness. For not having given her the time to fall in love.

But I couldn't bear the thought of her belonging to another.

"It's been a long day, let's go home and get some sleep. We can talk in the morning."

"Yes of course."

He was trying to be kind. Victoria couldn't fault him for that, for acknowledging how hard she had worked today. The wedding and its later celebrations had been a success. She had been able to hand her mother the grand reentry into London society the duchess had craved so badly. Her duty as a daughter had been fulfilled.

Seated next to her husband in the carriage as it snaked its way through the quiet night streets, she pondered the next part of her life. She was now the Duchess of Saffron Walden. Her Grace, the Duchess of Saffron Walden. The words sounded so empty.

And I have no idea how he expects me to conduct myself.

Her new title sat heavy on her shoulders. She'd be expected to run a household. Take her place amongst the ton . Bear him an heir.

Victoria's thoughts turned to what lay ahead. Robert would want to do it tonight. She understood how it was supposed to happen, of what went where, but without a drop of romance she wasn't sure how pleasant the experience was going to be for her. A man might find his pleasure through the physical act, but while her head was such a mess, she couldn't imagine feeling anything.

When the carriage drew up out the front of Tolley House, Robert took a hold of her hand once more. He raised it to his lips and kissed her gloved hand. "We are home. Let's go inside."

The thought of what was about to happen had her suddenly blurting out. "I want some toast please. I haven't eaten."

He gave her a look, and her rising panic seemed to register with him. "Alright, toast it is."