Chapter 15

Ignoring Jean's pout, Georgiana promised not to be long before she made her way out of her bedchamber and down the hall. It was a beautiful day, and no one could stop her now.

She hummed on her way to the side of the house, where she found the door to the courtyard. Already she'd sorted through a few broken frames and endured a few awkward visitors that morning. After tea, she'd wandered the house in the hopes of stumbling across her husband. But he was nowhere to be found, and the greenhouse was locked.

If I cannot amuse myself with him, then I must amuse myself alone.

This was something she could do very well. Even though she'd had plenty of days on her own, Georgiana found she needed some space to reconsider what had happened last night.

Owen had complimented her. It was almost like he didn't wish for her to hear the generous words, which bothered her. And he'd been rather ruffled upon her arrival. Had her costume been that garish? She hoped not, since everyone at the masquerade ball had said they loved it.

And I needed that. Since I was refused entry to my family home twice without seeing my sister, I needed something to lift my spirits.

The memory that she had so quickly tucked away came back, making her sniffle. She hastily wiped her face as she sat on her horse.

"Your Grace?"

Thomas, the youngest of the footmen, would be accompanying her today into town, since their groom was busy and he was the only other servant who could ride. She looked over to see him producing a handkerchief.

A dry laugh escaped her before she shook her head. "Thank you, but save that for a pretty miss. I have one myself."

"Is there…" He hesitated. "Is something wrong?"

"There seems to always be something wrong," she muttered before clearing her throat and answering him properly. "No, Thomas, all is well. Thank you. Are you ready?"

He nodded eagerly. "Yes, Your Grace."

"Wonderful. We might be gone for a few hours shopping. If there is time afterward, I'd like to stretch my legs in Hyde Park," she informed him. "You don't have any responsibilities for the afternoon, do you?"

Shaking his head, Thomas replied, "No, I can stay as long as you like."

While she would prefer to ride alone all day, Georgiana suppressed the urge to admit that. She nodded instead before steering them toward the street and away from the house.

Never had she been apart from her sister for so long. She thought of Emma daily. There had been one note from her so far, and nothing more. It bothered Georgiana. She just wanted to make sure that her sister was safe.

Father wouldn't be cruel. Not on purpose, at least. I cannot believe that. And yet I cannot see why he would keep me from my own childhood house. From my family.

While Rogers had apologetically told her at the front door, forcing her to stand on the front step like a guest, that her family was not at home, she didn't believe that one whit. Her father might not be home. But where would her sister be? Someone had to be with Emma. But who?

Sniffing, Georgiana pushed the questions away because she knew there were no answers. At least no answers that anyone would share with her.

The shopping today was meant to lighten her spirits and allow her to exercise. Georgiana needed the chance to get out of the house and reconsider everything.

She tilted her head back to soak in the sunlight. The warmth seeped into her skin, and she sighed, wishing for a moment that she could forget all her worries and pain.

It was impossible to tell what her husband thought of her. And it was impossible to tell what her father was doing to Emma. After building a life where she could still manage so much, Georgiana found her control slipping. This scared her more than she wished to admit.

Not that there appears to be anyone to listen.

They soon arrived at Bond Street, where Georgiana decided to find the perfect gift for her little sister. It only took her four shops to find it—a puzzle shaped like a flower and made of wood. It would be perfect for Emma.

Beyond, of course, the other three packages she had already ordered to be delivered to her family's London home.

"Finished, Your Grace?" Thomas asked politely when she rejoined him outside the shop. He stood with both horses beside him.

She offered a tight smile. Shopping usually made her more satisfied than it did now. "I suppose so."

Her eyes darted about the lane before settling on the dress shop. They always had fine ribbons. And had her sister received the new dress they had discussed during the winter? Emma was growing so quickly…

"Actually, one more stop. I won't be long."

"Yes, Your Grace."

Georgiana made her way into the dress shop, squeezing past a mother and her two daughters. It was crowded today. Though she preferred earlier hours, when it would be less busy, she resigned herself to this one last errand.

Seeing that the two shopkeepers were with other customers, however, it meant she needed to wait. They had both nodded and offered to help, since she was the highest-ranking woman under the roof, but she let them continue attend to the clients who came before her.

"Can you believe it?" she overheard as she moved toward the ribbons. Everyone chattered, and she did her best to ignore them. "A duchess in here at this hour."

"Mama, you must let me have this green ribbon."

"There isn't a chance in this world I would ever allow you out of the house with that lace. You must put it down at once, or else you'll embarrass me."

"Do you think she always dresses like that? That is not much of a riding habit. I suppose she carries a whip somewhere, too. One must for such a wild husband."

Georgiana had just reached the table of ribbons when she overheard the last murmur. The voice didn't sound familiar to her. But something about it caught her attention.

She felt her insides twist. Was anyone else wearing a riding habit in the shop, or was it just her? Women usually dressed in preparation for their activities. Shopping like this wasn't normal, but it wasn't that outlandish. Or so she hoped.

I'm not exactly a diamond of the first water, after all. Not even the Pearl or Emerald of the Season. I'm only me. No one ever notices me. At least, they didn't until I became a duchess.

"It's a garish color. What is it, ultramarine? Absurd for this time of year."

Dropping her gaze to her blue dress, Georgiana stiffened. No one else wore this shade right now but her. She dropped the ribbon she had been holding. The color was forgotten. There were more eyes on her now, and it made her skin crawl. She couldn't not notice them.

"I suppose it doesn't matter what she wears. That won't change her husband, will it? Oh, the cost of a title. I heard the Duke once survived in a cave through winter, eating nothing but ice and dirt. Horrid, don't you think? Hardly the mark of a gentleman."

Georgiana whirled around. She couldn't take it any longer. Heart pounding, she narrowed her eyes as she spotted the three whispering girls in the corner.

They were vaguely familiar to her. Two of them were wed, and one was not. She supposed they were around her age but couldn't be certain. It only mattered that these young women had never cared to befriend her when they could merely mock her.

"Your Grace?" The younger of the shopkeepers, Madame Beverley, called. "May I offer my assistance?

"Thank you, but I'm afraid not. What a crowded shop it is today," Georgiana found herself saying as she stared at the three girls. Then she sniffed. "It's usually so quaint, but I fear… a rat may have entered your premises. Perhaps three. The smell here is too much for me. I adore your shop and trust it will smell better when I return next time. Thank you, my dear. Have a lovely day."

Madame Beverley sputtered as she turned to go, stammering out a farewell.

There was a loud sniff nearby as well as a "Well, I never!" that Georgiana heard on her way out. That didn't stop her.

Thomas opened his mouth when she reached his side. He must have seen her upset expression because he quickly fell quiet while assisting her into the saddle. Georgiana felt the storm of feelings grow within her as she nudged her horse into motion.

The trouble with London was that she could not ride fast or hard anywhere. Steering them toward Hyde Park shortly before the fashionable hour, she hoped to have a short gallop there. A good, hard ride always helped her clear her mind.

But then a sight on the edge of the park and further down the lane caught her attention. Her heart stuttered. She stared.

It can't be… but I would recognize that skip anywhere.

She nudged her horse forward at once. When the street grew congested, she slid down from the saddle. Her footman appeared and took the reins.

There she was, little Emma, skipping down the lane. A robust woman in black followed close behind. A governess, Georgiana supposed. She gulped and pushed back the sudden rush of nerves before hastening down the street. Her eagerness got the better of her.

"Emma?" she called, even though she knew she was still several steps behind them. "Emma!"

Her sister paused in the street. Georgiana thought she was about to turn to her, but instead, the governess was steering her sister toward the family carriage, which she hadn't noticed. The two of them were about to climb in.

Georgiana hurried forward in an attempt to catch up to them before they left. It was a busy street, but they must have heard her.

"Emma!"

"Georgiana?"

When her sister turned and met her eyes, she stumbled as relief poured through her. Tears pricked her eyes, threatening to escape. Georgiana cared little for judging eyes as she picked up her dress just enough to hurry over.

Already she wanted to put out her arms so Emma could run into them. Georgiana would spin them in a circle, and they would laugh and cry and hug, and it would all be better for them. At least for a moment. She felt her heart pound, eager to hug her sister. She had made promises to Emma, and it was time she made good on them.

"Get in, young lady," the woman in black snapped.

"Wait!" Georgiana drew closer as Emma put one foot in the carriage. "Just a minute, please. I will only take a minute. Emma!"

"Georgiana!"

The woman turned to Georgiana then, shooting her such a dark look that she stopped in her tracks. She was frozen as the governess pushed her sister into the carriage and ordered their driver, Parkington, to take off.

Hesitating, the man tipped his hat to her and muttered something before following the governess's orders. This left Georgiana holding her skirts in one hand as she watched the carriage depart.

Emma was gone. She was there and then gone.

Though Georgiana watched desperately for the curtains of the carriage to move and reveal her sister, it never happened.

"Your Grace?"

"Mhm?"

She couldn't find words to describe the heavy weight in her chest. Part of her knew it was Thomas speaking to her, but she didn't care. She didn't care about anything except that Emma was gone.

She supposed it was for this reason that she hardly paid any attention on their journey home. If people noticed her or stared or laughed, she didn't notice. She didn't care. She just thought of Emma being taken away from her and the stabbing agony in her heart.

At last, she was back on her feet in the small stables at her home, but Georgiana couldn't make it out of the structure. If she went back to the house, it meant admitting defeat for good.

"Your Grace?" Thomas hesitated. "Shall I assist you inside?"

"No." She closed her eyes. "Please leave me, Thomas. I should like to be alone."

The cautious young man glanced around for a moment before nodding reluctantly. He backed out of the stables, finally leaving her alone.

Being on her own brought no relief and little strength. But it gave Georgiana the space she needed––the space she needed to cry. One tear escaped, and the others quickly followed. She leaned against the gate to her horse's stall before hiding her face in her hands.

They wouldn't do much to catch her tears, but she supposed she should try. It wouldn't be proper to make a mess.

Georgiana gasped for breath as she tugged at her pelisse, looking for a spare handkerchief. She sniffled just when a voice spoke up and made her pause.

"Would this help?"

Her tears made her vision blurry. Though she could tell it was Owen, she struggled to make out what was in his hand. She reached out a hand, and he put a soft cloth in it. His handkerchief.

Just what I need, my husband actually playing nice while I'm falling apart. It's not like he would even understand. He would probably just tell me to go away or redecorate another room or eat something. After all, he only cares to avoid me.

"Thank you," she managed to mutter, but she wasn't convinced the words were intelligible.

"My pleasure," he said all the same. "I was going to ride, but… it appears your outing was not what you hoped."

She turned away to carefully wipe her tears. "It was fine. I didn't leave this morning with… with high expectations."

That appeared to silence Owen. She focused on drying her tears and stopping the hiccups for so long that she thought he must have left, for the stables became too quiet. But when she turned back in his direction, she found him leaning against the wall nearby, his eyes downcast.

"I may not know much about family," Owen said slowly in a soft voice, "but I know what it is to feel hurt. Betrayed. It is not a pain I would wish upon anyone, especially you."

Dumbfounded, Georgiana didn't know how to react. She wrung the handkerchief in her hands as she looked up at him.

If only Owen would look her in the eye. Why didn't he? And would she survive if he did? She swallowed past the lump in her throat, wondering why he was being nice to her.

He must have felt her gaze on him, for he straightened. Though he looked up, he didn't quite meet her gaze. It seemed he was staring at her chin.

"You deserve better," he murmured. "That's all I wished to say."

"I deserve better?"

Again he looked down. "There isn't much I know about women either, I fear. Keep the handkerchief."

Then Owen walked away. While Georgiana had half expected the tightness in her chest to ease when he disappeared, it didn't. She still felt that hurt. That fear. She wiped one last tear as confusion added to the maelstrom of emotions within her.

Was Owen trying to be kind to me? I hardly understand what just happened.

She shook her head. It had been a long day, and she was ready for it to be over. Up to the house she walked.

After writing a quick apology to the hosts of the dinner party she was supposed to attend that evening, Georgiana climbed into her bed and stopped trying for the rest of the day.