Chapter Six

CHAPTER SIX

W hat happened? What happened ?

Gemma wasn’t entirely certain because Mama hustled her upstairs to her bedchamber without saying a word. Gemma had only caught a glimpse of the concern on Meredith’s face, the anger on Griffin’s face, the disappointment on Mary’s face, and the helpless frustration on Lady Costner’s face, before Mama whisked Gemma out the back door of the study toward the servants’ staircase. And thank God for the servants’ staircase because Gemma was not forced to face the curious gazes of all the partygoers who were huddled in the corridor outside the study.

She and Mama seemed to have made a silent pact to remain quiet until they reached Gemma’s bedchamber. But the moment the door closed, Gemma turned to her mother, her breathing still coming in short, painful gasps. “Please. Please. Please,” she begged. “Tell me that did not mean what I fear it meant.”

Mama stepped toward her and wrapped her in a fierce hug. She didn’t let go for several long moments. It served to calm Gemma’s nerves a bit.

Mama was so lovely with her dark hair shot with gray, her long, graceful limbs, and her high cheekbones. So pretty and so calm and comforting. She was everything Gemma hoped she’d be one day. But that day was not today. Today Gemma was a gangly, impatient mess who may have just ruined the life of a man she barely knew.

“First, breathe,” Mama said when she finally pulled back, clutching Gemma’s shoulders and meeting her gaze.

Gemma nodded and tried to concentrate. Breathe in. Breathe out. Her lungs hurt, but she wasn’t quite as panicked as before.

“Now, let’s take a seat.” Mama grasped her hand and pulled her along beside her to the edge of Gemma’s bed covered in its yellow-flowered coverlet. Daisies. Gemma’s favorites. The happiest of flowers.

Gemma took a seat, but her leg bobbed up and down frantically beneath her skirts. “Tell me, Mama. Tell me the truth,” she begged.

“Of course, I shall tell you the truth, Gem. Haven’t I always? But first, I believe you owe me an explanation. What exactly happened in the study tonight?”

Yes. Of course. She did owe Mama an explanation. Gemma took another deep breath and gave her mother a very brief explanation of her interactions with Mary and what had happened with Grovemont.

“It was all extremely innocent,” Gemma finished. “We can explain it to Griffin, can’t we, Mama? Can’t we?” Her voice sounded utterly desperate. She searched her mother’s face for some small indication of agreement.

Mama’s shoulders lifted, and she expelled a long breath. “Griffin is not the problem, Gem, darling.”

Oh, God. Gemma’s lungs stopped working again. She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her middle. Clutching at her sides, she stared unseeing at the rug-covered floor.

“Lady Cranberry, Lady Steffland, and half the ballroom heard the interaction between your brother and Grovemont. Gemma, dear, you know you cannot be alone with a gentleman. I taught you that.” Mama’s voice wasn’t accusatory. It was more sad, tinged with the hint of disappointment. Which made tears well in Gemma’s eyes.

A sound that was half-cry, half-groan escaped her throat. “I know, Mama. I know. And I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Well, I was thinking, but I was thinking of the wallflowers, not myself and—” She dropped her head into her hands. “Oh, I can tell myself all I like that I’d just been trying to save the other wallflowers, but I could have waited for Grovemont to leave the study. I could have waited. But I didn’t. I was too impatient. How many times have you told me not to be impatient?”

Mama patted her back, and Gemma looked up and met her mother’s gaze with eyes still filled with tears.

Mama leaned down and gave her another tight hug. “It’s all right, dear. It’s going to be all right.”

“But it’s not all right, is it? When Grovemont said he’d do right by me, he meant…” Oh, she still couldn’t bear to say the words. She choked on them.

Mama nodded slowly and squeezed Gemma’s shoulder. “Let me be clear. I told you it will be all right. And it will be…one day. I’m not at all certain tomorrow will be that day. But Grovemont is a good man. He’s Griffin’s friend. And you are strong. You are a Southbury. You will be all right.”

A strangled cry escaped Gemma’s throat, and she frantically shook her head. “I didn’t want this. I don’t want this. I wanted to blossom . I thought I’d have at least another year to blossom . And now…a man who cannot possibly want me shall be forced to marry me.” The tears streaked down her cheeks, hot and hopeless. “Oh, Mama. I wanted to marry for love. And Grovemont, he cannot?—”

Mama squeezed her hand reassuringly. “We cannot presume to know what Grovemont wants, dear.”

But Mama was only saying that to make her feel better. Gemma had seen the look on Grovemont’s face when he left. And it hadn’t been pleasure at the thought of his upcoming nuptials. That was certain.

Only now was not the time to feel sorry for herself. It was Griffin’s night. Griffin and Meredith’s.

“Go, downstairs, Mama. Please. Go down and make certain I haven’t ruined Griffin and Meredith’s wedding ball. I couldn’t live with myself if I thought I had done that in addition to my other sins.”

Mama nodded and stood. “I’ll just pop down to see if everything’s all right. I want to ensure Griffin and Meredith retire soon. But I’ll be back up to check on you, dear.” She smoothed a hand over Gemma’s unruly hair. The dark curls never stayed pinned into place, no matter how diligently her maid tried to subdue them.

Gemma watched her mother go. As soon as the door closed, Gemma dropped to her knees beside the bed and threaded her fingers together in a tight weave. First, she said a prayer that Griffin’s wedding ball had not been ruined because of her misdeeds. Then she prayed as long and hard as she’d ever prayed for anything that a miracle would happen and somehow, someway, the Duke of Grovemont would not be forced to marry her.

Gemma stayed on her knees until they ached, and when she finally climbed into bed, she wrapped her arms around herself and tried to calm the rattled breathing that had returned in full force. Because Gemma had an awful sense of impending doom that what she’d done tonight was entirely irrevocable and unfixable.

And the worst part was, she deserved it. But Grovemont certainly didn’t .