Chapter Forty

CHAPTER FORTY

Later That Afternoon, The Duke of Grovemont’s Bedchamber

L ucian crumpled the blasted note in his fist. It had been left on the foot of his bed. He’d found it just now after returning from his club. Alongside the afternoon edition of The Times .

Both the note and the paper had been clear. Gemma wanted a divorce. She was leaving him.

His eyes narrowed to slits. She couldn’t do this. She’d signed a blasted contract. Didn’t she realize she was forfeiting their agreement?

He paced away from the bed and scrubbed a hand through his hair. Damn it. He shouldn’t have been so crass this morning. He should have stopped and thought about what he’d said to her. He knew he’d be setting back his own objective, but he’d been so angry and uncomfortable when she’d begun asking questions about his childhood. Any mention of his parents put him on edge. And, of course, his reaction had been to lash out at her, incorrect though it had been.

Now he wouldn’t have the opportunity to make things right. And, honestly, did he even deserve another chance?

She wasn’t entirely without fault either, of course. He’d thought they’d been getting closer these last several days. But the first sign of any trouble, and she’d left him. Disregarded their contract and taken off.

And here he’d been falling in love with her. Oh, what a fool he’d been to believe love was in his grasp. Gemma had left the moment she had a chance. And she hadn’t just left. Oh, no. She’d ruined his reputation first. The story in the paper had seen to that. In addition to making him a laughingstock, the scandal of a divorce would ruin his family’s name.

He’d first seen the story in the Times when he’d got home this afternoon, and his first inclination was to rip the bloody thing to shreds. Then he’d considered going to the paper’s offices and burning them down, or at least threatening the editors until he was given the name of the chap who’d printed the blasted story.

But it didn’t matter, Lucian had finally determined. Gemma would just find another way to humiliate him. She must have believed that giving the story to the papers would help her cause and convince him to allow her the divorce. Only she was sorely mistaken. She’d just started a war. A war that he fully intended to win. Now he would never grant her the divorce. Never.

When he first realized she’d gone, he’d considered tearing apart the town to look for her. But that wouldn’t do. That would just cause more of a scandal. Besides, no doubt she was at her brother’s house. Where else would she be? If Lucian had anything to say to her, he could find here there. And he would. He would find her and inform her that he intended to make her attempts at securing a divorce nearly impossible.

But first, he’d make her wait.

He stalked to the window and glared out onto the street below. He’d never been more aware of his struggle to quell his emotions. He wanted to shatter the bloody window with his fist. He wanted to howl at the top of his lungs. He wanted to —

A knock on the door startled him.

He blew out a deep breath. “Come in,” he called.

Mrs. Howard stepped into the room. “Your Grace, Anna came home quite upset.”

“Who is Anna?” Lucian barked.

“Her Grace’s maid. She was with her on her shopping expedition today. Anna said Her Grace made a stop at the milliner’s and went in alone. The coach was delayed in traffic, and when they came back around, Her Grace wasn’t there. They couldn’t find her. Anna’s quite worried.”

Lucian looked down at the crumpled note in his hand, stalked over to the fireplace, and tossed it inside. Bloody hell. It missed the flames and fell to the side untouched.

But what did he care? To hell with his wife and her deceptions. “Tell Anna not to worry,” he replied in a deceptively calm voice, carefully readjusting his mask of indifference. “Her Grace has gone to visit her brother.”

When Lucian heard the door close behind him, he assumed Mrs. Howard had left. But a slight noise caused him to turn, only to see the housekeeper still quietly standing there.

“I have something to tell you, Your Grace,” Mrs. Howard began.

Lucian scrubbed a hand through his hair again and bowed his head. “I don’t think I want to hear it.”

“You must,” the housekeeper insisted.

At Lucian’s nod, she took a deep breath. “I found Her Grace in the nursery yesterday.”

Lucian closed his eyes. Now he knew he didn’t want to hear this. He gave only a curt nod.

“Her Grace was worried about your future children.”

Lucian made a noise halfway between a growl and a pained groan.

“I know I shouldn’t have done it,” Mrs. Howard continued, “but she asked me questions about your childhood. And I answered them.”

Lucian kept his eyes closed. Damn. Damn. Damn. If it had been any other servant. Any of them but Mrs. Howard, they would be out on their ear right now. He opened his eyes. “What did you tell her?” he asked, his jaw clenched.

“I told her the truth, Your Grace.” There were tears in the older woman’s eyes. “I told her that your father wouldn’t allow you to be touched, and your Mother had to sneak in to hold you. I told her that you were alone until you went to school, and you were punished for showing emotion. I told her that His Grace was the type of man who only cared about appearances and who punished your mother by refusing to speak to her for days, sometimes weeks, at a time.”

Lucian’s teeth were clenched so tight his jaw ached. “You had no right.”

Mrs. Howard hung her head. “I know that, Your Grace. And if you wish to send me away without a reference, I will understand. But I must tell you that there was something I didn’t tell Her Grace. Something I’ve known since you were a baby. Something that makes all the difference.”

Damn it, if those weren’t tears stinging the backs of his eyes. But he’d die before he allowed them to fall. “What is it, Mrs. Howard?”

“That you are nothing like your father, Your Grace. He was a cold man who never showed love a day in his life. You are a man who is filled with love but was forced to hide it. And at the risk of saying even more than I should, I believe your wife is the woman who can finally allow you to share that love.”

Lucian’s throat worked. This was excruciating. What could he possibly say? “Mrs. Howard?—”

“Wait,” Mrs. Howard continued, holding up a hand. “I’m not finished. I told you a bit before, but I’ve had an entire year to get to know Her Grace and what I’ve learned, what all the servants here have learned, is that a more gracious, kind-hearted woman does not exist. She knows every servant by name. She asks after their children. She asks after their health. She knows when they are having a bad day and sends Cook with treats to make them feel better. The entire staff adores her, Your Grace. And it was clear to me soon after you left that you could love her too. You may not have meant to, but you chose the perfect bride. And at the continued risk of being sacked, with all due respect, I must say, I do not want to see you ruin your chance at true happiness. She will give you the love you’ve always longed for if you let her.”

Lucian slowly lifted his head. He blew out a long, painful breath and shook his head. “It’s not often that I’m at a loss for words.”

“That’s true,” Mrs. Howard acknowledged, the edge of her mouth tilting up in a smile.

Lucian lifted the corner of his mouth in a half-smile too. “You’re not sacked, Mrs. Howard.”

She nodded. “You must know I never would have shared such details with Gemma if I didn’t know for certain she would only use them to help you.”

“Gemma?” He crinkled his brow.

“She asked me to call her that a long time ago.” Mrs. Howard winked at him.

“That sounds like her.” He expelled his breath again and scrubbed both hands through his hair this time. “I suppose I’ll have a servants’ riot on my hands if I don’t convince her to stay with me.”

“I believe so, Your Grace.” Mrs. Howard walked over to him, reached up, and put a hand on Lucian’s shoulder. “I am certain she is in love with you. Even if she doesn’t know it yet.”

Her gave his long-time servant, his long-time friend , a wry smile. “And I’m fairly certain I’ve ruined things with her.” He shook his head sadly.

Mrs. Howard patted his shoulder. “Where there is love, there is always hope, Your Grace.”

Lucian nodded. Slowly. “Thank you for telling Gemma the truth, Mrs. Howard. I never would have been brave enough to do it myself.”

“Yes, you would.” She turned to leave.

“And please,” Lucian added, “if you’re going to call my wife Gemma, call me Lucian. At least when we’re alone.” He returned the housekeeper’s wink.

“Oh, I can’t do that, Your Grace.” Mrs. Howard shook her head forcefully. “Old habits, you know?”

“Seems we’ll both have to try something that makes us uncomfortable then,” Lucian replied.

Mrs. Howard smiled and nodded.

Lucian tipped back his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. He paced away from Mrs. Howard. It was all so obvious now. Now that Gemma was gone. He’d pushed her away. He’d been frightened when she’d asked about his childhood. He’d been looking for a fight, a reason to mistrust her. Because he hadn’t been able to believe, to accept , that she was as wonderful as she was. And that she could love him as deeply as he had begun to hope she could. But the most frightening part of all had been when he’d realized how deeply he’d begun to love her.

After all, if you push someone away with a stupid fight, they can’t prove you were right about them all along. You pushed away the chance at being hurt. And Gemma hadn’t been acting. Just as Mrs. Howard said, Gemma had merely been frightened for their unborn child. A child that even now might be growing inside of her. And how he hoped it was so. Of course, Gemma had been concerned. Any loving mother—and Gemma would be the most loving mother—would want an assurance that her child would be treated with love and kindness.

“I’m madly in love with her, you know,” Lucian admitted. As soon as the words were past his lips, it felt as if a hundred-stone weight had lifted from his shoulders.

“Oh, I know.” Mrs. Howard opened the door and glanced back at him. “And I also know that you need to find that woman and treat her as if she is more important than anything in this world for the rest of her days.”

Lucian hung his head. “She is. She truly is.”