Chapter Thirty-Six

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

Four Days Later

“ I am going to visit my brother and sister-in-law today,” Gemma announced at the breakfast table.

This morning, she hadn’t slunk away from bed. In fact, just as she had the last three mornings, she’d stayed. Lucian had woken up and begun kissing her neck and, well, that’s why they’d been late to breakfast.

It had become his favorite part of the day, their morning lovemaking. At night, they drove each other wild and couldn’t get enough of each other fast enough. But in the mornings, he slowly slid atop her and then into her. He rocked his hips while staring deeply into her eyes. No matter when they did it, they both ended up satisfied, but there was something about the intimacy of their morning lovemaking that made it special to him.

This was the first morning she’d mentioned visiting her family.

“May I come with you?” Lucian asked. He’d long ago discarded the paper after only glancing at the headlines. Trentham’s words echoed in his head. “Pay attention to your wife,” the marquess had said. That’s exactly what Lucian intended to do. In and out of bed.

At first, Gemma had seemed surprised that he’d begun asking her questions at breakfast. But now that they’d been carrying on long conversations for three days in a row, it seemed like second nature. As if they’d never not shared breakfast together. And Lucian found that he truly enjoyed her company.

Gemma’s brows shot up. “You want to…come with me…to see my family?” Surprise sounded in her voice.

“Yes. I’d very much like to.” They’d spent a great deal of time together over the last few days, talking and laughing. They’d gone on another ride in the park. They’d gone shopping on Bond Street where Gemma had ordered a new hat from the milliner. They’d enjoyed each other’s company, or at least Lucian thought so. But he could tell that even after moments where they shared stories from their childhoods and laughed with each other while enjoying their favorite sweets at Gunter’s, Gemma continued to eye him with caution. He didn’t blame her, of course. She’d told him she couldn’t be herself around him. He suspected she was the most herself around her family, and he’d been looking for an excuse to see her with them. This was the perfect opportunity. Of course, he asked her if he could come with her. He hadn’t told her he would come.

Gemma pushed bits of potato around her plate with her fork for a few moments. “All right,” she finally allowed.

“Thank you,” Lucian replied, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief. “Oh, and before we go, I have a surprise for you.”

Not half an hour later, while Lucian was helping Gemma up into the coach, a movement under the seat caught her eye. She looked again to see a ball of brown fluffy curls just before the furball hurtled itself at her. She fell into the velvet-covered seat with a wiggling puppy grasped in her arms.

“What’s this?” she cried, absolutely delighted.

A smile spread across Lucian’s face. “What? I thought you’d know Oliver when you met him,” he said with a wink, settling into the seat across from her.

“Oh, Oliver!” Gemma grasped the squirming pup under his top legs and held him up in front of her. He didn’t look like any dog she’d ever seen before. He was a mess of both curls and long hair that fell into his eyes. He was tiny, no bigger than her foot. “Of course, I recognize you, you darling boy.” She clutched him to her chest possessively, which made Lucian throw back his head and laugh.

“What sort of dog is he? Not a spaniel?” she asked, supporting the puppy with a hand under his bum, the other clutching the barrel of his little puffed out chest.

“No. I found him in Covent Garden. They were selling him as a rat dog. I think he may have a bit of terrier in him. I told the seller my only requirements were a dog that was small and cute and happy.”

First? “ You went to Covent Garden to buy this dog for me?”

“Of course,” he replied as Oliver jumped out of Gemma’s arms and bounced over to Lucian’s lap. He caught the pup and laughed. “How else was I to know which dog was Oliver?”

An unexpected tightness expanded in Gemma’s chest. She couldn’t quite picture Lucian, in his expensive clothing. strolling about Covent Garden with the vendors and sellers hawking their wares. It was loud and crowded and dirty, a place servants were sent to purchase things. Not a place a duke would normally be found. Especially not a duke as concerned with his reputation as Lucian was. But apparently he’d gone there…for her. For Oliver.

“I believe he’s a mixed breed,” Lucian continued, further surprising her.

Second? “A mixed breed?” she echoed. “ You purchased a mixed breed.”

Lucian cuddled the puppy to his chest and patted him on the head. “I don’t want Oliver here to have any expectations placed upon him. He is a companion. His job is to be joyful. And to make you joyful, my lady.”

Their eyes met and the sincerity in Lucian’s gaze made Gemma glance away. He was being more and more unexpected with each passing day. She never would have thought he would put down the newspaper to talk to her each morning, or ask her what she wanted for dinner, or want to accompany her to visit her family. Now, he’d done the least expected thing of all. He’d given her a puppy without a care to its breeding. Most noblemen were quite particular about their dogs. They bought and sold from certain bloodlines the same way they did with horseflesh. But Lucian had purchased a mixed breed dog from Covent Garden with no greater order than to ensure it was small and cute and happy. That seemed to be completely unlike the uptight man she thought him to be. In fact, it was more difficult each day to recall that man.

“Do you think your mother and brother will approve?” Lucian asked as Oliver bounded back over to Gemma’s lap.

“I don’t know,” she replied, grinning and cuddling the squiggly puppy once again. “But we’re about to find out.”

Two hours later, Lucian sat in Southbury’s drawing room next to his wife. Southbury, his mother, and Meredith were all there too, and much of the afternoon’s conversation had centered on the newest addition to the family. Oliver Cromwell Helios Banks, Gemma had named him.

“He’s clearly got a bit of the Greek God in him and he’s full of sunshine, so Helios seems the most fitting,” she’d said when she’d picked the name.

Southbury had rolled his eyes. Meredith had declared it quite a fitting name indeed. But Lucian had just watched Gemma with pride bursting inside him. Her mind worked in such an interesting way. She looked on the bright side of everything, he realized after having spent as much time in her company as he had the last few days. The mistrustful way she’d treated him was truly not her normal style. It made him feel guilty for ever causing her to feel that way. For ever causing her to doubt his sincerity.

He’d been right about one thing. She was clearly never happier than in the company of her family. In fact, ever since he’d arrived here today, Lucian had been staring at them all in wonder. They laughed and jested and talked to each other as if they all were the best of friends.

But they were family. A very different family than the one Lucian had, to be sure. He’d quickly learned that Gemma’s family had scores of secret sayings and jests that only they understood. But instead of making Lucian feel like an outsider, to the contrary, Gemma’s mother and sister-in-law had explained every reference to him, and now he found himself longing to be part of such a close and fun-loving group.

His own family had been nothing like this. They’d barely spoken, let alone spent hours in each other’s company laughing. Lucian finally understood how alone Gemma must had felt when she’d first come to his house. It had been a tomb compared to Southbury’s rowdy, cheerful drawing room. But with Gemma there now, it was no longer a tomb. It was a place filled with smiles and laughter and pleasure and joy. The thought made his throat tight.

Lucian stared at his wife in awe. His arm curved around her back as they sat side-by-side on a settee with each other. He was so intent on watching her profile that he barely noticed when the talk turned to an event the family had attended.

“You should have seen Cecily at the Wiltshires’ ball last night, Gemma,” Meredith said. “She looked radiant.”

“Oh, I’m sure she did,” Gemma said, her own face radiant with a wide smile. She was petting Oliver, who was asleep next to her thigh, tiny snores emitting from his fluffy little head. “She’s had her eye on Lord Albion this Season.”

“Ooh, I think I saw her dancing with Lord Albion,” Meredith replied, nodding.

“Is Lord Albion good enough for our Cecily?” the dowager asked, stirring another lump of sugar into her tea.

Lucian wistfully shook his head. This family cared about its friends the same way it would care about a member of their own. Lucian was further surprised when the dowager set down her teacup, leaned across her seat to Gemma, and smoothed a lock of dark hair behind her ear. Then the dowager cupped her daughter’s cheek. The look of pure happiness on the dowager’s face was a revelation to Lucian. His own mother had loved him. He knew she had. But she’d never smoothed his hair or cupped his cheek. His father hadn’t allowed it. And by the time father had died, well, they’d been set in their ways. Stoic to the end, he’d merely squeezed his mother’s hand when she lay on her death bed.

An ache gathered in his chest. One that was quickly and thankfully dispelled by Meredith changing the subject and the dowager drawing her hand away from Gemma’s cheek.

“Lord Pembroke asked after you,” Meredith said, directing her remark to Gemma.

Lucian shifted in his seat, his arm reflexively pulling his wife closer. He would have to have a talk with Pembroke if that fool didn’t stop showing his wife undue attention.

“Is Pembroke a sore subject?” Southbury asked, his astute gaze not missing Lucian’s protective embrace.

“Pembroke is only a friend,” Gemma said, glancing up at Lucian and giving him an exasperated look as she shook her head at him.

Lucian cleared his throat but said nothing. Mainly because the only thing he had to say was that he would have given Pembroke a piece of his mind last night had they opted to go to the Wiltshires’ ball. Instead, when Lucian had arrived at Gemma’s bedchamber to fetch her for the ball, he’d taken one look at her revealing ruby-red gown, and they’d begun kissing and had never made it out of the bedchamber last night. Not, perhaps, subject matter to share with Gemma’s family, however.

“Well.” Meredith stood and quickly launched herself into her husband’s lap. She wrapped her arms around Southbury’s neck and kissed him thoroughly on the mouth. “I know Griffin wouldn’t like it if Pembroke had looked at me the way I’ve seen him look at you, Gemma.”

“He’d better not look at her that way again,” Lucian growled, suddenly wishing Gemma would stand and plop herself into his lap with the same carefree ease he’d just seen her sister-in-law exhibit. And to be kissed on the lips by one’s wife in the middle of the day in front of company? He could imagine both of his parents rolling in their graves at the prospect. But for the first time in his life, Lucian wanted something different. He wanted this ease. He wanted this comfort. Dare he admit…he wanted this love ?

The unexpected thought nearly knocked the breath from his chest. But when he glanced over at his beautiful wife, who was happily smiling down at her new puppy, he knew it was true. He wanted Gemma’s love. And he would stop at nothing to earn it.

Another hour later, when the coach door shut behind them as they left Southbury’s house, Gemma had another bright smile on her face and an alert puppy in her arms. Lucian sat beside her this time, their thighs touching.

“Meredith looks good,” Gemma said. “You’d never know she’s to have a baby in the winter.”

“Is she?” Lucian’s brows shot up.

“Oh, yes. In February. Didn’t you see how solicitous Mama was being? She is beside herself with happiness.”

Beside herself with happiness ? Lucian considered his own mother. He couldn’t imagine ever describing her as “beside herself with happiness.” He’d been raised to believe that duke’s families were special, different. They must carefully control their reactions, their feelings. No one could see anything other than the careful facade they erected. And yet…Southbury was a duke. He hadn’t been raised to the position, to be certain. His older brother had been killed in a horse race while Southbury had been gone to the Continent with the Army. But they’d all been raised in the same home. It stood to reason that all three of the Southbury children were given the same instruction. Gemma had already proved herself to be quite without compunction when it came to showing emotion. Which could only mean one thing… Lucian’s father hadn’t been telling the truth when he’d told Lucian that to show no emotion was the responsibility of a duke.

“What did you think of my family?” Gemma asked as she settled Oliver onto her lap for the ride home.

“I thought they were all quite wonderful. They’re all so warm and loving.” Unlike my family .

“Well, of course, they are.” Her smile brightened the coach.

Lucian cleared his throat. “I’m… It’s different from how I was raised.”

Gemma’s brow immediately furrowed. “Your family didn’t laugh?”

My family didn’t speak . Lucian nodded tersely. Why did he have a lump in his throat? Why did he suddenly feel sorry for the boy he’d been? “Not often.”

“That’s sad,” Gemma replied. She reached up and gingerly laid a hand on his cheek.

Lucian swallowed hard. “I didn’t know any different.”

Gemma bit her lip. “I’ve always had the impression that you are very concerned about your family’s reputation.”

“I am.”

“Because of your father?” she asked quietly.

Lucian nodded. “My father pounded it into my head that a family’s name and a man’s reputation are all that he has at the end of the day. He was quite clear that they both should be guarded at all costs.”

She tugged at the ribbons hanging from her bonnet. “At the cost of your relationships?”

He narrowed his eyes on her. “Pardon?”

She shrugged. “You have always seemed as if you care more about what people think in public than how people behave—how they treat each other—behind closed doors.”

Lucian rubbed his jaw as he contemplated her astute words. “A more perfect description of my father I’m certain I’ll never hear.”

“Your father?” she prodded. “But not you?”

Lucian blinked. He hadn’t ever questioned why he’d always been so preoccupied with his family’s reputation. It had simply been drilled into his head since birth. A man protects his family. A family is nothing without their name. A duke’s name is his reputation. It was the duty of a ducal family to be preoccupied by how they were perceived by others.

Or so he’d thought.

Lucian found Gemma’s hand beside his thigh. He twined his fingers through hers and lifted them to kiss the back of her hand. In addition to being gorgeous, his wife was also funny, clever, and wise. But the best part of Gemma was her warmth. It shined from her skin and made him want to bask in its glow. To be away from her was to be left in the cold. Ever since they’d married, he’d been trying to get her to fit into his mold. Now he realized that hers was so much better. “If I did want to be like my father, I don’t anymore,” he breathed.

She eyed him carefully, biting her lower lip. “May I be honest with you?”

“Please do.” He held his breath.

“Every time you say things like that, I want to believe you, but I can’t help but think you’re only saying it because you want something from me.”

This time, Lucian reached out and cupped her cheek. He rubbed his thumb softly against her jawline and pressed his forehead to hers, meeting her eyes. “I do want something from you, Gemma. I want you . I want you to come to me willingly and give our marriage a chance.”