Chapter 4

Chapter Four

“ W hat do you mean, he left?” Hannah exclaimed in shock when her father told her why the Duke was not joining them to break his fast the following morning.

“Exactly as I said,” Lord Ramsbury responded simply as he bit into a piece of cake, the crumbs falling down his front. “He left with the rising sun. But do not take it as a bad sign,” he assured her. “He made sure to seek me out before leaving.”

“Is that right?” she muttered bitterly, feeling her stomach sink.

“Yes, yes,” he said. “He wanted to assure me that the wedding is still on and his reasons for leaving have to do with the arrangements that need to be made.”

“Arrangements?”

“Breaking off his engagement to your cousin, of course. Not to mention the need to apply for a special license to marry you. But do not worry yourself with that.” He flicked his wrist. “He assured me that he will take care of it, and then he shall call on you when the wheels are in motion.”

“That is… that is…”

“Good to hear!” Lord Ramsbury said merrily, looking pleased with himself.

“Yes.” Hannah slumped into her chair, staring blankly ahead, not at all sure that ‘good to hear’ was how she would have described this development. Not that she could think of anything better to say.

She did not get much sleep at all the previous night. But that should not have come as a surprise. What surprised her were the reasons why.

When she returned to her room, she did what she could to feel angry, for that felt like the most reasonable response. The way the Duke had tricked her, played with her, purposefully humiliated her for no other reason than to see if he could. She hadn’t had a chance to form an opinion about the man just yet, but by the time she crawled into bed, she decided that she did not like him very much at all.

What was more, the terms of this marriage only angered her further. It wasn’t enough that she was being forced into this marriage, but it was to be a marriage with a man who wanted nothing to do with her! He did not want to kiss her. He did not want to fulfill his husbandly duties. By the sounds of things, he barely wanted to see her once they were pronounced man and wife!

A marriage was all he wished for, the perception of one, so that he could then go about his day, caring not that he was all but ruining her life.

But then she started to drift off to sleep and her thoughts shifted, her mind wandering to that near kiss, the way her heart had thumped in her chest, the excitement she had felt when she thought he was going to take her. Not to mention what happened just before he kicked her out of his room, when he pressed her against his door, completely dominating her as he bore down on her and said in no uncertain terms that if he wished it, he could do with her as he pleased.

And how much she wished he might do just that…

She tossed and turned and threw back her bedsheets for she felt too warm. And while she might have dared to feel some sense of excitement, as the man who was giving her these thoughts was to be her husband, he had already told her that they would not lie together in any capacity. Not so much as a kiss! So, why feel anything other than fury? Which was exactly what consumed Hannah the following morning.

“Personally, I was rather pleased with his eagerness,” her father continued as he took another bite of his cake. “With how rushed everything has been, the very fact that he is acting so quickly bodes well. I suspect that the two of you shall be married long before the end of the Season.”

“Lovely…”

“And I must say, Hannah.” Finally, he looked at her. “I am nothing but impressed with your decorum. When I think of how your sisters behaved when they were set to wed, well…” He chuckled. “Let me just say, you are proving yourself to be far and away more mature than they were. It is not even close.”

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling as if lost in a memory.

As for Hannah? She forced a smile, not at all sure how she should be feeling about any of this. Pleased that her father was so happy with her? Furious that the Duke had left without a word? Annoyed that she was being treated like a pawn on a chessboard, for if her father was paying her any attention, then he would see that she was not handling this nearly as well as he liked to think.

This marriage was happening, and Hannah realized now that there was nothing that she could do to change that. But that was no longer the problem.

Although she had long since convinced herself that she did not wish to marry as many young women did, she was also forced to admit that the idea of a happy marriage to a man whom she loved might not have been such a bad thing. Her sisters were perfectly happy and in love with their husbands, happy to tell her how wonderful the experience was, as if it was a thing to be coveted and sought and, indeed, worshipped. And now that Hannah knew she would never have this… well, it left her feeling somewhat empty inside.

Last night, when the Duke had told her the specifics of this arrangement, she had struggled to decide how exactly she felt about it. Happy that she did not have to pretend to love a man whom she did not know? Or devastated that he wanted nothing to do with her?

The Duke was a man she did not know at all. The Duke was a man she might never get to know. A marriage of convenience was what she was now trapped in—a marriage of coldness and separation and loneliness. Worse still, she would remember the way he had treated her, teasing her and bearing down on her as if he meant to take her right then and there, only to pull away and remind her that he never would.

Hannah had no choice but to admit that she was attracted to the Duke. After a sleepless night, the word ‘attracted’ fell painfully short. But what was the point of this desire if it would go unfulfilled? What was the point of being married to a man she wanted if he did not want her in return?

What he wanted was to pretend that she was not his wife. What he wanted was to treat her as a stranger in his house. Fine. If that was the case, then that was exactly what he would get. Hannah might never be happy, but she also refused to let him control her.

A marriage of personal freedom was how she decided to think of this arrangement. A marriage that was not a marriage at all. A marriage that she would pretend did not exist, living her life now as she had always done—any way that she chose.

“You!” her aunt cried suddenly as she strode into the room. “I see you are still here!”

“Good morning, Teresa,” Lord Ramsbury groaned.

“I thought you might have shown some sense of decorum and left before I woke up this morning. It is the least you could have done.”

“And as I explained yesterday, I did nothing wrong!”

“Oh, nothing wrong!” Teresa huffed. “Is that how you see it?”

“Aunt Teresa,” Hannah interjected, “is Selina awake? I would very much like to see her.”

“She is not in her room,” Teresa said without looking at her. “I believe she had gone for a ride. Likely, she will not be back for some time.”

“Oh…” Hannah’s stomach twisted with guilt.

The marriage was one thing, but knowing now how much she had hurt her cousin… she supposed it was just one more tragedy to add to her life.

She wished desperately to apologize for what had happened. That was assuming that her cousin ever spoke to her again.

Married to a man she did not know. Hated by her cousin for stealing him. Alone in this world because nobody seemed to care.

Life, Hannah knew, was about to get infinitely worse for her. Likely, it would continue to do so, long after she and the Duke were pronounced man and wife.

How had it come to this?