Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

L ouisa woke up the next morning feeling a toxic mix of anger and frustration swirling in her chest, where elation had been in the moments she was cocooned in her husband’s warm embrace until he had jolted her cruelly back to reality.

She thought that the moment when she got injured was the most painful experience of her life, but it seemed the events of the previous night were jousting for that position.

Percival was so cruel to tease her body and spirit to the heights of ecstasy and then plunge her back into despair before she could catch her breath. She had cried herself to sleep, swearing to completely ignore him, but the moment she opened her eyes, she was hit by a fresh wave of despair and anger. A dull ache bloomed in her chest, and she rubbed the spot above her heart in the hope of relieving it.

A part of her, the part that was already half in love with Percival, argued that he might have a good reason for rejecting her, especially when it seemed that a lack of attraction was not the cause. She guessed that his reason was tied to the scars hidden beneath the surface, the ones he refused to talk about. That lovesick part of her urged her to be patient.

The other part of her, which was more logical and had a better sense of self-preservation, argued that she had waited and cajoled him enough. It was now time to take charge of her life and or ignore the capricious nature of her husband if she intended to keep a firm grasp on her sanity.

Remembering the embarrassment and frustration she had felt the previous night following his rejection, she was tempted to remain upstairs and take her breakfast in her room in the hope of avoiding him and the feelings of shame and despair that would surely overtake her if she ate in his presence. But she was no coward.

If she had been, she would not have survived the wagging tongues of the ton and the poisonous words that some of them spewed under the guise of consoling her. If she had survived such a dark time in her life, then she believed that she was equipped to handle whatever curveball life threw at her. Besides, she was not the one at fault here.

She only wanted the intimacy that was her right by marriage. The fact that he decided to hold back and deny her that pleasure was his fault, and his reasons were best known only to him, since he had refused to share them with her after several attempts on her part.

The lovesick part of her argued that she had signed up for this when she agreed to a marriage of convenience, but that argument was weakened by the fact that she had requested companionship, and sexual congress was another type of companionship—at least for married couples.

Besides, if he wanted to keep their relationship that chaste, he shouldn’t have been that handsome, shooting her heated glances from beneath his impossibly thick lashes.

How was a lady supposed to resist such potent masculine appeal, especially when it was so obviously one-sided? Now that she had experienced the pleasure his touch could wring out of her, she wondered how she was going to return to their earlier passionless rapport without longing for another taste of the bliss she could find in his arms.

That thought almost solidified her plan to continue hiding in her room, but she was not going to give him the opportunity to gloat, because if there was a chance that he realized he could hurt her that deeply, there would be nothing stopping him from doing it in the future.

Climbing out of bed, she tugged on the bell pull, and in no time Anne arrived to help with her morning ablutions.

“Good morning, Your Grace,” the maid greeted with a bright smile, her face glowing with so much happiness that Louisa felt some of her melancholy fade away.

“Good morning, Anne. I hope you had a good night’s rest?” Louisa asked offhandedly, plastering a smile on her face.

But it must have been unconvincing because Anne’s smile dropped, and she furrowed her brow.

“I had a good rest, Your Grace. But I do not think you had a good night,” Anne ventured, her voice ringing with concern.

“Why would you think that, Anne?” Louisa asked, patting her face self-consciously.

“For one, your eyes are rather red-rimmed and swollen,” Anne began, coming closer to examine her face. “Have you been crying, Your Grace?” she asked, her eyes widening in alarm.

Louisa could not fault the maid for her reaction. After dressing and styling her to perfection the previous night, Anne would have expected to see a happy and contented mistress come morning. Instead, she had to deal with a bedraggled one, who looked like she had been dragged through the fires of hell and had cried her eyes out all night long.

Forcing a smile, Louisa sought to distract her. “It’s nothing that a bowl of cold water and a bit of powder won’t fix. I would prefer to have my bath drawn immediately, since I am joining the Duke for breakfast. I trust that Lawrence can arrange for that with his brother. Could you please inform them?” she asked in a rush.

She could see the questions in her maid’s eyes, but something in her expression must have convinced her of the futility of pressing the issue.

“Certainly, Your Grace,” Anne said with a deep curtsy, before leaving to carry out her orders.

While Louisa liked Anne and was fast becoming friends with her, she was not quite ready to delve into the subject of her marriage with her. After all, the maid was still a stranger, and Louisa hardly had her loyalty.

Her marriage was fragile enough—more fodder for the gossip mills would no doubt tear it apart. Besides, no matter what happened, Percival was the head of the household, and she would not do or say anything that could diminish his authority in the servants’ eyes.

She suspected that Anne felt hurt by the curt way she had avoided her question, and the maid would most likely go complain to her beau about how upset she was. Louisa just hoped that they would wrap up their lovers’ conversation fast enough and promptly deliver the buckets of water so that she could have the steaming bath she ached for.

Fortunately, Anne returned shortly after, with the strapping young men hot on her heels, hauling buckets of steaming hot water. While they seemed to be fit and capable with their bulging muscles and intimidating heights, they would also need help when Louisa started redecorating the manor. She made a mental note to hire more servants in order to lighten their workload.

When the tub was filled, she quickly lowered herself into the water, enjoying the relaxing warmth. She felt her anger towards her husband ebb and fade away long enough for her to dress up and head down to the breakfast room.

But her anger seemed to increase tenfold when she walked to the breakfast table. Percival was already there, sipping from his teacup and tearing bread into small pieces before popping them in his mouth.

It was so annoying to see him so unruffled and delicious in his shirtsleeves, his unruly hair falling over his eyes and softening the sharp lines of his face.

She must have made a sound because he looked up from the newspaper, his eyes flashing with some feral emotion as he looked at her from head to toe, his gaze leaving a trail of heat in its wake.

The fact that he could so easily arouse her with just a glance infuriated her. While he looked as refreshed as always, she felt terrible after spending most of the night weeping.

It was not fair.

“Good morning, wife. I trust you had a good night’s rest?” he asked.

“I did. Thank you,” she lied.

He peered into her face, his eyes narrowing in doubt. The state of her face might have given him a hint that she was not being completely honest. He opened his mouth, then promptly closed it, probably deciding to keep whatever comments he had intended to make to himself.

“I have decided, dear husband, that you do not have to pay attention to me and share meals with me. You are free to return to your daily activities without having to endure a dreary meal with me,” she said, a fake smile playing on her lips.

She had thought that her husband would be pleased by the news, seeing as he was doing his best to avoid her. But instead of relief, she watched as a frown of disapproval crossed his face, followed by something akin to anger. She ignored him, picking at the breakfast spread before her to fill her plate even though she had no appetite.

“I would like to visit Isabella. It has been ages since I last saw her,” she added in a rush, peering at her plate and twirling her fork in her food, studiously avoiding his gaze.

No reason to explain that by ages, she meant the previous month. She would do anything to escape the tension building between them, so thick that she could slice through it with a knife.

“Thank you for the meal, Your Grace,” she said, standing up to leave the room, even though she had barely taken a bite of her food.

She doubted she would have been able to eat with her stomach tied in knots.

As she walked away from the breakfast table, she felt the heat of his gaze on her till she disappeared down the hall.

When she got back to her chambers, she found Anne tidying the room and replacing the bedding. The maid helped her change into an indigo walking dress with a matching cape that was lined with fur.

Louisa then went downstairs to find that the carriage was already ready and waiting for her. She guessed she had Percival to thank for that. This was one of the little ways he stole her heart every day. It was particularly annoying that he insisted on holding on to his heart even though he had full possession of hers.

The footman helped her into the carriage, and in no time she was off to visit Isabella at her estate where she lived with her doting husband. It was only a few miles away from Colborne House, but she understood that the pressures of parenthood made Isabella and Duncan unable to visit her since she moved in there.

A part of her was happy to have a respite from their overprotective tendencies, but the part of her that was lonely missed her sister and longed for the familiar sound of her chatter.

Louisa was pulled out of her reverie when she felt the vehicle slow down. When she drew back the curtain, she found that they had arrived at her destination.

Fangsdale Manor looked simple, almost noble in appearance. Although Duncan was a rich man by all standards, he had a preference for a humble and simple lifestyle, just like her sister, who was also his wife.

Stepping out of the carriage, Louisa walked up the short flight of stairs that led to the massive front door. She knocked a few times, and the door was opened by the kindly butler, Felix, who smiled in welcome.

“Your Grace,” he greeted with a deep bow, smiling broadly. “It is a pleasure to see you.”

“The pleasure is mine, Felix. Please tell me that my sister is inside.”

Before the butler could open his mouth to respond, the sound of an annoyed infant wailing his outrage tore through the hall.

“That would be the young master,” Felix said with a rueful smile. “Her Grace is with him. The blue room, I believe.”

“Thank you, Felix.” Louisa gave him a grateful smile as she handed him her coat and then headed in the direction of the blue room.

Sure enough, when she got to the room in question, the door was ajar, and she could see Isabella sitting with her son on her lap, making cooing sounds as she tried to distract him.

The picture brought a smile to Louisa’s lips. Her nephew might be little, but she could already tell he would grow into a hellion. She wished her sister luck when the time came.

She pushed the door open wider, causing her twin sister to look up in surprise. Her tired face split into a bright smile.

“Lou,” Isabella greeted. “It is so great to see you!”

She stood up and balanced her son on her hip while she pulled Louisa into a sideways hug with her free hand. When she released her sister, Isabella stared into her face, a frown creasing her brow.

“You do not look well,” she stated bluntly.

“What a way to greet your sister, Isa,” Louisa drawled, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. She went to sit on the sofa. “I could say the same about you. You look even worse than I do.”

“I have a valid reason for that. Little Georgie is teething, and as you can imagine, it causes him a lot of pain. He was up all night, which means he kept us all awake,” Louisa countered, rubbing her hand down her face wearily while stifling a yawn.

“That must be quite difficult,” Louisa noted sympathetically, taking the baby from her sister’s arms when he flashed her a toothless grin. She cradled him against her chest, inhaling his soothing baby smell.

Seeing how adorable Georgie was, it was no mystery that his parents were willing to forego sleep in order to keep him happy and comfortable. But then he was probably one of the luckiest babies in the English ton because he had parents who loved him unconditionally and wanted to care for their children themselves, even though they could afford to leave such hard work to the nursemaids.

Most couples in the ton were content to wait for their children to start walking before getting involved in their lives.

“What is your excuse, then?” Isabella asked, snapping her back to the present.

“I am well, Isa. There is nothing to worry about.”

“I would wager my entire wardrobe that you are not well. You wouldn’t be here, visiting me in the middle of your honeymoon, with dark circles under your eyes so big that it’s a miracle they are not weighing them down.”

It was no use lying to Isabella. Not when she was the most sensitive member of the family. That trait, in combination with their unique bond as twins, meant that she could sniff out any lie before it even left Louisa’s mouth.

“I had a fitful night if you must know,” Louisa admitted reluctantly.

A mischievous smile spread across her sister’s tired face. “It seems that your husband kept you awake all night. If that is the reason behind those bags under your eyes, then it is quite acceptable. Perhaps Georgie will have a cousin very soon,” she said, giggling conspiratorially.

Louisa could feel her face turn red in embarrassment, but Isabella seemed to enjoying her discomfort because she laughed even louder.

“I do not think Georgie will have a cousin anytime soon,” Louisa replied dryly.

That statement immediately brought her sister’s laughter to a halt.

“Why?” Isabella asked, nonplussed. Her mouth dropped open in realization a moment later. “Do not tell me that you haven’t consummated your marriage.”

Louisa opened her mouth to answer but then was interrupted by the sound of the door opening and the nursemaid coming in to take the sleeping Georgie from her arms.

Isabella waited for the nursemaid to leave before standing up and shutting the door firmly. Then, she walked back to the sofa and sat beside Louisa. “Have you not consummated your marriage yet?” she asked in a hushed voice, concern etched on her face.

“Not exactly…” Louisa started, her face reddening with embarrassment. “He pleasured me, but we did not do the final deed. I am still a maiden. Perhaps he did not find me attractive enough to bed me.”

Isabella burst into laughter, laughing long enough that Louisa’s annoyance flared.

“Percival is attracted to you all right,” she said after her laughter finally died down. “The man was devouring you with his eyes on your wedding day. I was almost afraid he was going to ravish you right there on the altar when you kissed him. Your husband desires you a lot , trust me on that.”

“Then why does he avoid me and my bed?” Louisa blurted out in frustration.

“Well, because he is a man, and men do have a reputation for being idiots sometimes.”

“So how do I get him to come to my bed? The man is driving me crazy. One minute he is so kind, seducing me with his care and gallantry, and the next minute he is pushing me away. I came here to speak to you, see if I can get some advice, since you are married.”

“Well,” Isabella began, placing a contemplative finger on her chin. “I think the best way to solve this is to give him a taste of his own medicine. Ignore him while making sure to dress in a very enticing way.”

“And what if we just keep ignoring each other forever? I do not wish to drive him away.”

“That is where your attire comes into play. You are going to seduce your husband. Appeal to the primal, possessive part of him. Men sometimes do not realize how much they want something until it comes to their notice that other men find that thing attractive. It is in their very blood. Jealousy can be a motivating factor, sometimes,” she explained, a mischievous smile playing on her lips.

Somehow, Louisa suspected that Isabella had used this trick on her husband.

“I do not think I will succeed in using such tactics to seduce him,” Louisa sighed, avoiding her sister’s gaze as her cheeks burned with embarrassment. “My husband is a very confident man. I am more likely to embarrass myself, and he would laugh himself to tears. I would rather concentrate on the changes that need to be made at the manor. That will be a sufficient distraction until he deems it fit to visit my bedchamber.’’

“Whatever you say, Lou. Whatever you say,” Isabella drawled with a knowing smile.

Louisa immediately looked away in embarrassment. She knew what that smile meant. She might just be the one to visit his bedchamber and seduce him, after all. She just hoped it never came to that. She would die of mortification.

“How is your husband?” she asked, in an attempt to change the topic.

“He is getting a much-needed rest. He didn’t sleep a wink last night because of Georgie’s wailing. I was about to go to sleep myself before you arrived.”

“Do not let me keep you from your sleep. You need all the rest you can get,” Louisa said, standing up. “I am so grateful you took the time to listen to me complain about my woes.”

“Nonsense,” Isabella scoffed, pulling her into a hug. “You are my sister. I would do anything for you.” Releasing her, she took her hands in her own and gave them a gentle squeeze. “Do have a safe trip back and keep in touch. I promise to visit you soon.”

“Perhaps we might see each other soon. Are you attending the Ritkins’ ball this weekend?”

“Yes, I believe I am”

“Excellent!” Louisa beamed. “We’ll see each other then. Please extend my regards to your husband.”

“Of course,” Isabella said, leading her to the front door.

She hugged her once again and stood at the door while Louisa boarded the carriage, and she waved at the carriage when it pulled out of the driveway.

Louisa already missed her sister’s company. At least she would see her in two days. She now had something to look forward to as she faced the long, dreary days ahead.

When Louisa arrived back at the manor, Tobias opened the door with a bright smile on his face.

“Good day, Your Grace. I hope you had a good visit.”

“It was splendid, Tobias.” Then, unable to resist, she asked, ‘‘Is the Duke inside?”

“Yes. In his study, Your Grace.”

“All right,” she said blandly, handing him her coat and then hurrying up the stairs to her room.

She just wanted to be sure where Percival was, so she could avoid him as much as she could. Nothing more, nothing less.

She undressed with Anne’s help and soon went back to the drawing room wearing one of her new day dresses, which clung to her upper body, accentuating her large breasts. The bodice was a little daring, but that was the state of the clothes that made up her wedding trousseau.

Once she stepped into the hall, she found Mrs. Owens, and together they curated a list of urgent repairs. She agreed that carpenters would be needed to fix most of the ceiling and the collapsing staircase. The same was true for the blacksmith because so much of the cookware was rusted, affecting the productiveness of the cook.

The cook barely complained, but then Mrs. Owens was quite perceptive and had seen how hard the woman struggled to make good meals for them. She had made a mental note of what was needed.

After over an hour of wandering around the house and writing down what was needed, they decided that the carpenters’ and blacksmith’s services were the most pressing of all.

“Thank you for your insight, Mrs. Owens. It was truly helpful,” Louisa said when they concluded their tour.

“I should be the one to thank you. I am so excited to give this manor a new look and bring it back to its glory days. It was magnificent, back in the day. I cannot wait to see that again.”

“I truly hope we will be successful. I will show the list to my husband. We will have the labourers working here tomorrow morning if everything goes as planned.”

“Thank you, Your Grace,” Mrs. Owens said, bouncing on her heels in excitement, her face wreathed in smiles. Her infectious joy brought a smile to Louisa’s lips.

With how excited the housekeeper was, one might think it was her family home. But then the servants here were more or less like family to Percival, even though the dratted man did not know nor acknowledge it.

Now that she had the list, Louisa had to speak with him to secure the funding she needed. She might have sworn off seeing him, but this was a very urgent matter that affected the entire household. She was willing to swallow her shame and embarrassment to get the work done.

Marching to his study, she could hear hushed voices. She knocked once, then twice, before she pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Percival looked up, his eyes flashing when they landed on her. That look, in combination with the glasses that perched on the tip of his nose and the hair that fell over his eyes, made desire coil deep in her belly, discomfiting her.

He was poring over some ledgers with his butler, but when he saw her, he stood up.

“Good day, wife. I trust you had a great visit with your sister?”

“Yes, I did,” she replied, coming to stand in front of his desk. She handed him the list. “The manor has been quite dreary of late. I believe we will do well with a bit of colour. Besides, I think it prudent that we begin the repairs for the safety of everyone in this manor.”

Percival’s pupils dilated with heat, and she would wager that he was remembering what it felt like the previous night when he gave in to the temptation and ravished her.

She felt an answering warmth bloom in her core, her eyes fixed on his full lips as she remembered the pleasure they had wrung out of her. With conscious effort, she tore her gaze away, staring at a point above his shoulder.

“I trust that my uncle has paid my dowry. We must use it to fix the manor. Please take a look at the list—I’d appreciate your insight on the matter.”

With that, she stepped away from the desk and turned to face the bookshelves that lined the room. Louisa would have never claimed that her husband was the reading type, but the shelves here were full of books ranging from topics like History, Science, Arts, Plays, and Poetry.

Suddenly, Percival’s study became more interesting. She would not mind spending time here if it meant she could get access to the books.

Distantly, she could hear Percival giving Tobias instructions about the estate. The sound of the door opening and closing told her that the butler had gone to carry out his master’s orders.

“They are arranged in alphabetical order. My brother had a very unique system. I would prefer to have them arranged by genre—it would be easier that way, in my opinion,” he said from beside her, the heat of his breath making goosebumps spread across her neck.

“Then why didn’t you arrange them according to genre, as you would have preferred?” she asked quietly.

There was a pause, long enough that Louisa thought he wouldn’t answer.

“It appeases my sense of order,” he replied. “So, there is no need to change it.”

Louisa suspected that there were other reasons behind his reluctance to make more changes, but she decided not to pry.

“I’m borrowing this one,” she said, taking out a book of Byron’s poems. “I promise to return it where it exactly was.”

With that, she walked away from him and the conflicting emotions he evoked within her.