Chapter 2
Audrey woke to the bright sunshine of a spring morning. For a moment, disoriented, she forgot where she was. She wasn't in her home at Rowton Castle, or the Bell Inn. Then she remembered she was staying in a guest room, at the home of Jude Lightholder, Duke of Clairville.
The child—the little girl, Sasha. Sadness flooded her body when she remembered the child's mother as she lay dying in the rain-washed street.
Audrey Looked across at the little truckle bed placed next to hers, where the little girl was fast asleep. Let her sleep, thought Audrey, so many changes and adaptations to cope with in her tiny life.
I must remember I'm Laetitia, or Lettie Banks, and no longer Lady Audrey Rowe,she told herself.
Even the very thought of her name made her shudder, as she remembered her brother, Lord Cheshire, and his scheming plan to marry her to the Duke of Batton. So far so good. She had escaped from Rowton Castle with the aid of her cousin, Rupert, and hoped never to set eyes on her brother again.
She closed her eyes for a second, remembering the gothic towers and battlements of Rowton, the rose garden her mother had tended before her tragic death in the carriage accident which had robbed her of both parents.
Oh, Mama, if you were still alive, I would not be faced with earning my living as a governess. You and Papa married for love, and you would never have made me marry for financial gain. I just have to get on with it and make my way in the world. If that poor child can cope with losing her mother at the age of four, then I can cope with leaving home and being a governess.
A gentle knock at the door, followed by a head peeping round it. It was Rosie, the housemaid, to check if she was awake. Rosie, who had eight brothers and sisters, said she was not worried about catching anything, as she was pretty much immune to most illnesses after caring for her siblings for so many years.
Rosie mouthed the word "tea" across the room, and Audrey nodded back. Sasha was beginning to stir anyway, so Audrey gestured for Rosie to enter the room.
"Don't worry, she's waking up now," Audrey said quietly.
"That's good, miss, I'll get the fire made up. It's a sunny day, but chilly out there. There was a frost this morning. Mrs. Driscoll suggested you take breakfast with her in her parlor. His Grace is already in his library looking at his accounts."
Rosie smiled at Audrey. "You have an hour or two before the whirlwind arrives."
"I'm sorry, a whirlwind? It seems such a sunny morning," queried Audrey, as she looked out of the window.
Rosie burst into a fit of the giggles, her dark curls escaping from her mob cap as her head bobbed up and down. "The whirlwind is Nurse Walters," she explained. "Nurse Walters was the duke's nurse when he was a boy. We all call her Nurse, and she has been with the family for many years. She supported His Grace's mother, the dowager duchess, and his two older sisters, through all their confinements."
Rosie coaxed the fire into a flame adding sticks and more wood, and almost immediately Audrey could feel its warmth.
"I can say Nurse is a whirlwind as she is also my Aunt Agnes. The dowager duchess, his mother, may think she rules the household at Clairville Hall, but it is, in fact, Nurse, who is in charge."
"And she's coming here?" asked Audrey, holding her hands out to feel the warmth of the fire. There was a definite chill in the air, despite the bright sunshine.
"Yes, indeed, miss. His Grace sent to Clairville Hall for Nurse late last night. It's not too far from Hertfordshire, so she will arrive sometime this morning."
Audrey's thoughts wandered away to her own nanny, Mrs. Flinders, at Rowton Castle. With a pang, she remembered those long-ago nursery days with her brother Ethan. He'd been such a sweet, attentive older brother, and she often wondered how his personality could have changed so dramatically in such a short time. She no longer recognized him; he was like another person.
Enough of sadness and regret, time to move on in this new reality,she thought. Mama would think this was funny, she was always telling me to give myself a good talking to when I was cross or miserable. I suspect I shall be giving myself a few lectures on how to behave in my new life.
"Sorry, Rosie. I was far away and not listening," Audrey said.
"You did look a long way away, miss. I suggested that I take Miss Sasha for her bath and get her dressed and ready. I don't know if Mrs. Driscoll told you but I've eight brothers and sisters, and what with Mam always so ill, I pretty much brought them up. Little Miss Sasha will be fine with me."
"Let's give her a little while after she wakes. If all is well, then that seems a good plan, Rosie. Thank you."
At that moment Sasha sat up in bed and looked at Audrey, her large blue eyes wide, and golden ringlets bouncing around her head.
"Good morning, my dear," said Audrey gently. "Can you remember? We are here at the Duke of Clairville's house. You met him last night and liked him."
The child nodded. She looked so serious for such a small person. She hesitated and then found her voice. "Has Mama gone?" she asked in a quiet voice. "I had hoped it was a bad dream."
"I'm so sorry, Sasha. Your Mama was very poorly, and no one could make her better."
Sasha looked at Audrey intently. "I was ill, and Mama gave me chicken broth, and looked worried. She wanted to send for a doctor, but we didn't have any money,"
"You were ill first?' asked Audrey.
"Yes," Sasha said, nodding. "I had a sore throat and felt very dizzy and strange."
So, the child had been ill first. That was reassuring, as it meant that she had immunity and would not fall ill again.
"I miss Mama," Sasha said quietly, tears spilling down her cheeks.
Audrey reached out her arms and the child jumped up onto the bed, ready for a hug. "I know, my dear. You will miss your Mama very much."
Sasha sniffed and buried her head in the folds of Audrey's nightgown.
"Was it just you and Mama at the inn?" Audrey asked her gently.
"Yes, we left our house and went in the carriage, and then on a boat on the sea. I didn't see Papa or Grand-mère again after that. Or my dog Bepé. We had to leave him too."
"You came over the sea with Mama?"
She nodded in agreement, "Oui, bien s?r."
Audrey needed to remember to tell the duke this information. It seemed finding Sasha's family overseas, most probably in France, was going to be difficult.
"And your name… Do you remember your name?"
"Mama called me Sasha, after my Grand-mère. She was from another country. My Mama was a lady, a great lady," she added with pride. "She had beautiful dresses and people came to dance at our house. I love to dance." She paused, looking up at Audrey. "Do you dance, Miss—?" Sasha paused, unsure.
"Miss Lettie," she prompted. "And indeed, I do, and we shall dance here," promised Audrey. "Now, you are going to go with Rosie. You'll like Rosie, and she'll give you a bath and then some breakfast. I'll be with Mrs. Driscoll if you need me."
The little girl seemed happy to go with Rosie, and Audrey waved as they left the room.
***
Mrs. Diana Driscoll was busy setting out teapot and crockery on a little walnut table when Audrey arrived at the housekeeper's parlor.
Small and cozy, the parlor had restful green walls, and a watercolor of a grand house surrounded by parkland. Through the window, Mrs. Driscoll had a view of the garden and a cherry tree in full blossom.
"Welcome my dear. I thought we could take our breakfast in here, by the fire, where it is cozy and warm. Despite the sad circumstances, it is a pleasure for me to talk with a lady of my own station in the house. It can, as I'm sure you know, be quite isolating being neither a servant nor a member of the family." Mrs. Driscoll smiled warmly at Audrey, "And I hope when we are together, not in company, you will feel able to call me Diana."
Audrey's heart melted at the kindness of this woman, whom she had only just met the day before. Her back and shoulders eased into the soft chair near the fire, listening to the sound of Mrs. Driscoll pouring the tea.
The fragrance of the yellow China tea drifted across the room. She looked up to meet the smile of Mrs. Driscoll and knew in an instant this was a good person who put others before herself with no hidden agendas.
"I thought you would be hungry. So, I've asked Cook to send us kidneys, chops, and sausages. You need to keep your strength up my dear, I can see that the little girl is going to be a handful."
"I suspect you are right, Mrs. Driscoll," agreed Audrey, "and I'm very hungry, famished in fact. I'll be glad to eat anything at all."
"Diana, remember," said Mrs. Driscoll as she handed Audrey a cup of warm tea which Audrey held close, finding the warmth comforting. The scent of the tea reminded her of the blend her mama had always preferred.
"Tell me, and let me know if I am prying," enquired Mrs. Driscoll, "what county are you from, and what skills do you have? His Grace said you were on your way to take up a position as governess when this unfortunate incident happened?"
"Indeed, I am, or rather was, travelling to Harrogate to be governess to a little boy. My home county is Bedfordshire, which is where I grew up and lived until last week."
"A beautiful county and not too far from town. And your accomplishments? As a governess, what do you enjoy teaching, Miss Banks?"
"Oh please, call me Letitia or Lettie. I teach the usual range of accomplishments."
What do I teach?she thought frantically, her mind totally blank in that moment.
Thinking quickly, Audrey regained her composure and said, "I enjoy art and literature, but my passion is music. I play the pianoforte, or by preference the spinet. I know it is somewhat old-fashioned nowadays, but I love the sound. I began to learn the harp last year, though I do not consider myself proficient yet."
"We have a spinet and a pianoforte in this house. In fact, the spinet is in the room next door. We don't have a harp, though there are several at Clairville Hall," Mrs. Driscoll told Audrey. "Do you sing? I used to love to sing."
"I do. I'm not a high soprano, but I enjoy singing very much."
"I suspect we will need you to play and sing in the evenings while we are confined and quarantined here." Mrs. Driscoll smiled. She looked thoughtful. "I doubt you will need to start any formal lessons with little Miss Sasha. She only lost her mother yesterday and is going to need love and support, not arithmetic and geography."
"I'll be happy to help her adjust as best I can as long as I'm here," agreed Audrey.
"If you need help sending a letter to your employer in Harrogate then please ask. We can easily post a letter for you, to explain why you haven't arrived yet."
"Thank you, that's very kind. I'll write a letter to explain. I'll admit it has been worrying me a little."
They ate in a companionable silence, and true to her word, Mrs. Driscoll presented her with a plate piled high with kidneys, ham, eggs, and sausages.
"This is quite a treat," she told Mrs. Driscoll. "I have to admit the food at the Bell Inn was meager."
"I'm afraid that place does not have a good reputation, we always avoid it when traveling. I cannot believe how abominably the landlord treated you and that poor child."
"He was scared for his own health, perhaps," commented Audrey, giving the landlord some benefit of the doubt. "I would certainly never go there again. Which reminds me, I must go and see how Sasha is doing. Pray, excuse me, Diana."
"Of course, Lettie," said Mrs. Driscoll, before pausing, and listening intently to a noise in the hallway. "Ah, I think you might be delayed a few minutes. I suspect Nurse Walters has arrived."
Within seconds, the door opened to show a formidable-looking woman of late middle age.
I don't think I ever want to disagree with her about anything, thought Audrey as she took in the new arrival.
"Mrs. Driscoll," came the assertive voice of Nurse Walters.
"Nurse Walters," responded Mrs. Driscoll in an equally confident tone. She stood to greet Nurse Walters, before asking if she would care to take breakfast or a cup of tea. Nurse Walters shook her head at both suggestions and peered at Audrey.
"Nurse Walters, let me introduce you to Miss Laetitia Banks," said Mrs. Driscoll.
"You're the young woman who helped with the child at the inn?" queried Nurse Walters, straight to the point.
"Yes ma'am," responded Audrey.
"Just call me Nurse," barked Nurse Walters, although not unkindly. "Where is this poor wee child? And where is His Grace?"
Mrs. Driscoll explained what had happened and where everyone was. "The doctor is due within the hour," she added.
Nurse Walters turned to Audrey again. "You are a governess?" she enquired.
"Indeed, ma'am. I'm sorry, I mean Nurse," Audrey responded nervously. "It is my first position as a governess. I was travelling to Harrogate and was staying at the same inn as the child when the terrible incident happened."
"Well, I'm not sure if we need a governess, but learning may prove to be a distraction to the poor child." Nurse Walters was nothing if not direct. "All my charges are clever and enjoy book learning," she added with pride.
"I'm sure they are, Nurse," Audrey commented while thinking to herself, I doubt anyone would dare disagree. "I shall, of course, take my lead from you."
"I'm glad to hear that miss, erm... Miss Banks." And with that, her attention moved from Audrey to what she obviously regarded as more important things.
"Very well. Cookies and milk. The child will need cookies and milk," specified Nurse Walters. "I'll check over the house and make any changes. It has been good to catch up Mrs. Driscoll." Nurse Walters stood, nodded at Audrey with a curt, "Miss Banks." And the whirlwind left the room.
Remembering what it was like to be orphaned at a relatively young age, Audrey knew that the person who had helped her most during the first dark months of grief was her own nanny, Mrs. Flinders. She was also acutely aware that she would be leaving in a few days to take up her position in Harrogate, and it would be Nurse Walters who could give Sasha stability until her family was located.
Audrey stood by as Nurse Walters soon settled into sorting linens and arranging furniture upstairs. Mrs. Driscoll just let Nurse Walters do as she wanted, and it was obvious to Audrey that this came from Mrs. Driscoll's long experience, and knowledge, that there was no other way.
***
Toward the end of the morning, the duke arrived with Dr. Carstairs. The physician handed his tall hat and bag to Mrs. Driscoll and turned his gaze to the duke and Audrey.
"So, you have both been in contact with a woman who died of the putrid sore throat?" were the first words he spoke, to which the duke nodded.
"There is also Barton my coachman, and Jake the footman," he added.
Audrey looked across at the duke, remembering there was something she needed to tell him and the doctor. "I've found out today that the little girl was ill first, and her mother must have caught the illness from her. Which I think means the child has immunity."
"Indeed, it does," agreed Dr. Carstairs. "Now, I shall examine you all, including the child, just to be safe."
Before he could say anything further, there was a commotion in the hallway and Nurse Walters entered the room.
It seemed Dr. Carstairs was prepared and knew what to expect. He immediately smiled at Nurse Walters. "Ah, Nurse Walters, I presume," he said.
"Doctor, I have come from His Grace's estate at Clairville Hall to take charge of this situation. The child is currently upstairs with Rosie," Nurse Walters informed him, asserting her authority.
"Well, Nurse Walters, as soon as I have finished here, you can show me upstairs to the child," Dr. Carstairs said, giving her a little bow.
"You can use the parlor to examine everyone," suggested Mrs. Driscoll. "It's just along the corridor."
Having examined all three of them as well as Barton and Jake, Dr. Carstairs accepted a glass of fine Madeira wine from Mrs. Driscoll before addressing the duke and Nurse Walters.
"At this time, no one is showing any signs of the illness," he shared. "That is very positive. However, it would be best to stay in quarantine until there is no chance of anyone catching this. The poor child's mother died of this illness, and I believe it is the putrid sore throat, which is also sometimes called diphtheria."
A wave of relief went through the room as they learned that the doctor had seen no sign of the illness spreading.
Over the next couple of days, the little group settled into a routine as the sense of relief persisted with no one showing any signs of illness. Barton and Jake spent their time in the stables, and the duke was able to ride in the early morning without any possibility of infecting anyone, as no one came into contact with him.
Nurse Walters set up her systems in the house and, in combination with Mrs. Driscoll, everything ran like clockwork. Nurse Walters chose to eat her meals with Sasha and Rosie in what she had designated as the nursery.
Every day, Mrs. Driscoll arranged for what she called "a proper meal" to be served in the small dining room near her parlor. After the dinner, Mrs. Driscoll would leave Audrey and the duke, while she went to check on the wider household.
After talking with Nurse Walters, Audrey had realized she could spend at least two sessions each day playing and teaching Sasha. Preparing for these had proved difficult as the house seemed devoid of toys.
On the second day, after Mrs. Driscoll had left them, Audrey asked the duke if he knew of any children's games or activities anywhere in the house. She wanted Sasha to feel relaxed and distracted from the loss of her mother. To play and laugh, even for a short time, while grieving from the sadness of loss, was an important part of childhood.
"No," he replied thoughtfully. "My younger sisters, Jane, and Grace are both fifteen now and long past play. Two of my other four sisters have children, and they never visit the townhouse. Though they often come to visit me at Clairville Hall, my country estate."
"You have six sisters!" Audrey couldn't help commenting. "Are you the only boy?"
"Indeed, Miss Banks. I'm the only male heir. My father died suddenly when I was fourteen, or I suspect they would have kept trying for another boy."
"And your sisters? How old are they?"
"Now that's a difficult question," he laughed, "there being so many of them. Now, let me see. The two youngest, Jane and Grace are twins and keep Mama busy. They are fifteen as I mentioned. Then there is Elspeth, who is seventeen, and Beatrice, who is twenty. Beatrice has had one season in town and this year Elspeth will join her. They are both endowed with independent wealth and do not need to find rich husbands, so they can enjoy that merry whirl of balls and recitals without pressure to make a match."
"That is always an advantage in life," whispered Audrey. "To have a choice in who one marries is so important."
"Well, neither Elspeth nor Beatrice shows any signs of marrying. However, my two older sisters, Alice, and Mary, are married and both with children. Alice is twenty-five, and is now Lady Taunton with two children, both boys this time, and Mary, who married last spring, has just had a little baby girl. I have a new niece, and were it not for this business here, I would have been making her acquaintance today."
"That's quite a family," said Audrey. "You sound very close to your sisters."
"I am now I'm old enough to be the duke and they have to take notice of me," he joked. Suddenly, he jumped up. "Aha, I have a thought, possibly in the boot room," he said as he left the room.
Audrey looked around in confusion, unsure what he was referring to. However, in a few minutes, he returned carrying a wooden box of toys which his sisters had left many years ago. He took out a ball, some wooden peg dolls, and a set of spinning tops.
"I knew we must have some toys somewhere. Here you are," he said triumphantly, handing the worn wooden box to Audrey.
Audrey put the box down on the table, and the duke took a spinning top and placed it in her hand, taking one himself and setting it going across the smooth table.
"I always wanted to do this," he said, "but Mama would never let us use the tops on the table. I guess that now I'm the duke, it is my choice if I dent or scratch the furniture." The duke started another top spinning across the polished surface.
"I think I always won this game when playing with my sisters, Alice and Mary," he said, spinning the top again. "It really is just a case of remembering the technique."
"I've played this game since I was a child," countered Audrey. "Watch out."
They started to compete to see whose top could spin for the longest time. Audrey couldn't help it, the tension of the last two days drained away and she began to giggle, unable to stop herself.
The duke became more competitive—a consequence, thought Audrey, of his having grown up with six sisters, and focused on the game, pushing his spinning top further, after Audrey showed unusual skill to beat him in a round. She caught him looking across at her with eyes bright as she giggled spinning the next top, and he appeared to be unusually relaxed.
As he moved a spinning top, The duke's hand accidentally brushed against Audrey's. Audrey felt that frisson of excited interest and attachment. For a moment, The duke's gaze caught hers, and she became aware of a powerful intensity of desire.
The gaze grew strong, the force of attraction compelling her not to look away. Then, suddenly, it was as if a switch had tripped. It was the duke who looked away, abruptly tossing the spinning tops into the box.
Audrey wondered what memories of his past had caused such a change. His Grace would be an asset to any house party, she thought. He obviously had a side of his personality which enjoyed humor and playfulness.
As they settled back in seats by the fire, she reflected how the sparkle in his eyes, as he appeared determined to win the spinning top game, had enhanced his features. The duke, with his deep, dark eyes and tousled cinnamon brown hair, was classically handsome.
I hope there will be other opportunities to spend time together. I enjoy his company, she realized, more than that of other men.
As they sat by the fire, after the spinning tops had been put away, the duke turned to Audrey.
"Miss Banks, I have a matter of pressing importance I need to ask you," he began, choosing his words carefully. "Would you consider—dash it, I'm not sure how to put this…"
Audrey looked at him in surprise, unsure of what might come next.
"Would you be willing, Miss Banks, to stay here, and help us look after Sasha? You could either stay for a short time as a guest or as her governess. Please don't leave us and go to Harrogate, you are needed here. I'll make sure you get glowing references when you leave, even if that is only for a short time."
She knew the family in Harrogate was a large household, with many staff and resources. The little boy there would have lots of support, and the family could easily locate another governess. The deciding factor was that the little boy had not even met her yet, whereas Sasha had not only met her but had begun to cling to her emotionally after her mother's death. The empathy for the little, most likely orphaned, girl was strong.
There was also her brother to think of. He would be looking for her, and if Rupert believed she was in Harrogate, with no knowledge of where she was, then it would make it much more difficult for him to find her. It would be difficult to think of them worrying about her, not knowing what had happened, but she could write to them soon, without revealing her location.
At a subconscious level, there was also a pull to stay close to this charismatic Duke of Clairville.
"I believe I shall accept," she replied after just a moment's consideration. "I believe little Sasha needs me."
She noticed the expression of relief on his face, his mood brightening instantly.
She smiled mischievously at him. "Of course, now that Nurse Walters is in charge, I might not be needed in the same way, so you may need to reconsider your offer!"
He laughed. "Of course, we all know who really rules the household. My Mama may think she is mistress of Clairville, but every decision which concerns a family member is approved by Nurse." He paused. "I believe she liked you though."
"I think it is too early to say she ‘likes me,' Your Grace. I think tolerates, or has not taken a dislike to me, would be more appropriate."
Laughing together in a comfortable, easy way, her new employer responded, "I believe you are right, Miss Banks. How astute."
Then, quite spontaneously, he reached forward and took her hand in his.
Audrey lifted her head and their eyes met, their gaze fused together, and again she felt a connection to the duke. She felt the firm pressure of his hand covering hers and his thumb gently circling across her palm in a gentle, rhythmic pattern. She forced herself to take a breath. The room had suddenly become very warm and she wanted to open a window.
It was a huge effort to keep the expression on her face calm and composed and not give in and explore the powerful emotional response to this man. All her body wanted to do was move into his arms and find a safe harbor in his embrace.
Her whole body screamed out to be closer, to be enfolded in that close contact, with its frisson of something exciting, a rhythmic, forceful passion. Realizing the danger, Audrey stiffened and moved to pull her hand away from his.
The duke moved his hand away, but not before he'd gently patted her hand.
"Very well then, that's settled," he said quietly. "I do apologize for taking your hand, Miss Banks. I have several sisters and I'm used to female camaraderie. It was perhaps too forward of me." He smiled, and Audrey wondered if she had imagined that moment of close connection.
The duke had moved on to talk about payment and Audrey had to bring her thoughts back to the reality of the situation and make herself concentrate. What was she to be paid in Harrogate? Would £100 per annum suffice?
"Of course, I may not be here very long," she said, having fully regained her composure. "Indeed, I hope that will be the case, as it would mean Sasha was re-united with her family."
"I've already contacted my solicitor to put enquiries regarding her family in motion."
"I'm glad to hear it," Audrey said, pausing as she remembered Sasha's story of her travels. "I was about to tell you that the evidence for Sasha being French has strengthened," and she proceeded to tell him of the child's memory of a voyage.
"It sounds like she is from a family of some means then, with a large house, entertaining, balls and such. It does appear as though she has arrived in this country from France, but she speaks English very well, so there may be family here," the duke said thoughtfully.
"That's what she remembers, and she loves to dance and see the fine ladies."
He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking. "The turmoil in that country has been catastrophic and even if the main months of terror appear to have ended, there is still instability and danger with regular outbreaks of violence," he finally said.
"Let us be hopeful there is a trail to lead to her family," replied Audrey. "There is precious little in her mother's possessions to guide us, other than a slim volume of poetry, in English, which I suspect may have been written by the child's mother."
Aware of Mrs. Driscoll returning behind her, Audrey knew there could be no return to that moment of physical and emotional closeness between them.
"Miss Banks has agreed to stay," she heard the duke telling Mrs. Driscoll, who sounded delighted at the news.
"Little Sasha needs her," Mrs. Driscoll agreed.
As the physical sensations settled, Audrey felt a blaze of joy that she could stay here at Cambourne Place a little longer. She had found what almost felt like a friendship with the duke, and Mrs. Driscoll. She breathed a sigh of relief that she would remain close to Sasha and His Grace, and while there, she could continue to hide her identity.
Though why I am thinking these thoughts, I can't imagine,she admonished herself. You have no business enjoying his company.
Yet she knew that if her brother had told her she was to marry The Duke of Clairville, she would have considered it carefully!
"Speaking of disappearing relatives, it occurred to me that you might need to inform family and friends of your whereabouts?" Audrey realized the duke was speaking to her.
Mrs. Driscoll picked up the thread. "I was wondering the same thing. Events moved so quickly you will not have had chance…"
"Please, that is very kind of you to think of it, but I will write to my family and explain." Audrey reassured them.
She'd paid her cousin Rupert handsomely for his help in her escape and his discretion about her whereabouts.
I don't think he will keep my secret very long. He might mean well, but the pull of the gambling table is strong,Audreythought to herself. But Rupert doesn't know where I am, so perhaps I may be safe.