22. Red Is for the Adventurous

Revelry was held in the middle of the woods, in a renovated abbey. It was an interesting use for the derelict structure, Rahn had to admit. One of Carrow's first orders upon seizing control of the kingdom had been to close the monasteries in favor of a new structure of faith, united under the Reliquary. Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of buildings had been abandoned in a rush, only to be looted or burned. He often wondered how long the order would last before the people rose to reclaim their old ways. Fear was only a powerful motivator in the short term.

Pieter walked ahead of Rahn and Aesylt. Two of his personal guards pulled up the rear. There were others stationed throughout the forest, but wherever they were, they were apt at discretion.

Rahn and Aesylt had departed Wulfsgate under discreet cover, wearing servants' clothing and masks. Before they'd left the carriage, Pieter's men had confirmed no one had followed them. They were there to evaluate the safety throughout the evening and act quickly if anything changed.

Most importantly, Rahn and Aesylt had to be back before Hal realized they weren't in the tower at bedtime and alerted Rustan.

An elegant, graceful series of notes poured from the well-illuminated building. As they drew nearer, Rahn saw the string musicians playing under a tent just outside the doors.

"Welcome to Revelry, Lord Dereham." A rouge-cheeked man in a crimson robe held a silver tray with three goblets. "And your two beautiful initiates."

Pieter took one, downed it, and handed it back. "Salutations, Proctor. Let me introduce Ella and Gerald. They're visiting from the Easterlands and have long been pondering membership in their own local Revelry. I thought I'd show them what they've been missing."

"Oh, indeed!" Proctor waggled his brows, then turned his scrutiny on Rahn and Aesylt. "Ooh, you know how to choose them, don't you? Mind your jealousy tonight, my lord. You may not want to see either of them in the laps of others."

"It's my voracious hope they both enjoy as many laps as they can handle."

The two men laughed. Rahn glanced at Aesylt, to see how she was managing, but she didn't seem half as nervous as he was. She was staring intensely at the door, her expression obscured by her gold filigree mask. Since she'd mentioned her intention to attend the secret orgy, she'd said almost nothing else about it, other than a simple good when Rahn had finally told her—because what choice did he have?—he would join her. Even after he'd given her the confirmation, the distance between them only seemed to widen. She'd conjured excuses to beg off of the research. Had hardly looked him in the eye at all.

There was no chance in the heavens he would let her walk into a den of libidinous tigers alone.

"Ah, well, it's quite biting tonight, isn't it? Come, come." Proctor raised a jeweled hand as he turned and headed for the double doors.

When Pieter looked back, his face was lit by the row of torches, which flickered over his features in a way that made him angelic, then demonic. "No one here will recognize you. Stick to the names you were given, wear your masks, and you can indulge to your heart's content." He grinned and followed Proctor.

On a whim, Rahn slipped his hand into Aesylt's. She offered no resistance, but neither did she seem to even notice.

They mounted some stairs, and Proctor gestured toward a small alcove to the left of the doors. Pieter stepped in behind him, and Rahn and Aesylt followed.

"Have you explained the rules to our Ella and Gerald?" Proctor asked. "Even so, we're duty bound to impart them before anyone enters. Before we go a moment further, I must ask. Ella, Gerald, are you both of sound mind and enthusiastic harmony this evening?"

"Yes," Aesylt said briskly.

"I suppose—yes," Rahn said, watching her.

"Splendid. Just splendid." Proctor turned toward a table, wiggling his fingers, and pivoted back to show he was holding three strings, each a different color. Green, yellow, and red. "There are three rules at Revelry. Have fun, mind your tongue when you leave, and respect the colors when you're here. You will each choose a color to wear tonight on your wrists. The color will signal to all others here what you have come in search of. It will inform the nature of your visit and your enjoyment thereof. It does not, however, supersede consent, and you may change your color and your mind at any time. Just be aware, however, that should you choose to wear a red string tonight, checking for consent is not a requirement of the partners who may proposition you. If you change your mind, you must remove your bracelet to signal your consent has been withdrawn. Simply saying no is often part of the game for our red bracelets and would not be enough to show you were no longer interested."

Rahn frowned, sighing deeply. "Right. So. The colors. They mean?—"

"I shall explain them now." Proctor flicked the green string. "Green is the color of searching. Most who come to Revelry for their first time choose it because they don't know what to expect once they step foot inside our menagerie of pleasure." He laughed to himself. "Green is the color of watchers. Curiosity. As a green bracelet, you may partake in any of the main room festivities—food, drink, conversation. And you may wander to the edges of that room for something a little more colorful. However, you are not to leave the main room, what we often call the green room, unless you switch your bracelet to yellow or red, as the side rooms are for the seeking revelers."

Pieter leaned in. "Green is no fun. No one really means to choose it."

Green it is, Rahn thought.

Proctor rolled his eyes. "Do not listen to our good lord here. Choice is the only thing that brings us here, no?" He flicked the yellow string. "Yellow is the color of interest. Wearing yellow tells others you are open for most activities, but they must still obtain consent before engaging. There are no limits to what you can take part in if you wear yellow, or to what rooms you may enter, and you may set your own boundaries prior to any encounter. Yellow is the most common color of our revelers, for there is no risk and infinite reward."

"Yellow allows for multiple partners?" Aesylt asked, her first words of the evening.

"Of course, dear."

"Hmm." Her hand slipped from Rahn's.

"I assume we don't even need to ask about red then," Rahn said with a nervous chuckle.

"I want to know about red," Aesylt stated.

"Red," Proctor said, grinning, "is for the adventurous. Red is everything yellow is, but more. Wearing red signals to others you want to be taken—liberally. Taken everywhere. Taken without being asked! You may be walking down the hall, and a man comes up behind you, bends you over a chair, and does as he pleases. Red tells him you're open to it. Nay, inviting it. Red says, ignore what I say and do as you please." He eyed the string with a strange look. "Unless you remove the bracelet, that is. That tells your partners to cease immediately. And should they decide they're disinclined to do so, we have guards stationed all throughout the abbey to monitor compliance. Also, as Lord Dereham has likely already explained to you, you will enter Revelry without your clothing but with a silk robe you can choose to wear, or not. When you're wearing the robe, it's quite a simple thing to hide your wrist, and if your string is not visible, others are forbidden from bothering you. Many use this tactic for temporary breaks in their evening interludes." He sighed, smiling. "So you see, it really is quite safe."

Rahn's internal gale was building to a squall. Lord Dereham had explained none of it.

Pieter held out his wrist. "You know my preference, Proctor."

Pleased, Proctor reached for a red string from the table and secured it around his wrist. "I predict another satisfying evening for you, my lord. Some of your favorites are already inside."

"Music to my ears." Pieter adjusted the string on his wrist and turned toward Rahn and Aesylt. "And the two of you?"

"Green," Rahn said at the same time Aesylt said, "Red."

Rahn turned all the way to face her. "No." He looked back at Proctor, then Pieter. "No, she's not wearing red. That's ludicrous. She'd never done anything like this before. Surely there are rules around a person's first time."

"No such rules, actually," Proctor said amiably.

"It's not your choice, Gerald," Aesylt said and held out her wrist.

Pieter lifted his brows. "She's right, Gerald. Only she can decide the experience ahead of her. Are you sure green is your choice? You won't be able to follow her when she ventures beyond the main room... and let's be blunt, she wouldn't be wearing red if she was only interested in the main room, would she?"

"Ella," Rahn pleaded, but Aesylt stared determinedly ahead as Proctor tied the string. "Fine, yellow then. Gods."

"Gods?" Proctor scrunched his face. "What are you, a Ravenwood, Gerald? We've had one or two here before, pretending to be one of us."

"He's just an odd man who says odd things," Pieter explained, with a light look of warning. "Yellow then?"

Rahn internalized his building anxiety and nodded. He barely stood still as Proctor tied the string. It was loose enough to be removed quickly but secure enough for the type of activities occurring right that moment inside the doors. He swallowed with a sweeping look up the stone wall, at the cloudy windows that revealed nothing from the outside. But there were enough whoops and cries and moans to show there was no shortage of pleasures for the eager and willing.

He was neither.

Aesylt was, inexplicably, both.

Worst of all, the whole thing, the road they'd taken to get there—all of it—was on him. He'd told Aesylt that she held all the power, but that hadn't always been true. He was the one in a position of authority. There was an expression he'd learned from the dowager Queen Godivah, perhaps the only piece of actual wisdom the insufferable woman had ever doled out: When you resolve to take something out of a box, be sure you know how it got there in the first place, or you'll never know precisely how to get it back in.

He'd opened a box without realizing Aesylt was the only one who could close it.

Rahn had no idea how he was going to protect someone who had no interest in being saved, but he had to try.

He muttered a thank-you to Proctor and followed the men into the changing area.

Aesylt clutchedthe pink robe at her chest and waist as she moved down the long aisle of what had once been a place of worship. The benches had been removed, and there were tables there instead, filled with people laughing and drinking and eating. Although most were in robes with their wrists covered, she spotted strings of mostly green, a few yellows. The reds must go straight to the good stuff.

The thought sent a chill tearing through her. She'd made her choice with a clear mind, and as much as she wanted to share the experience with Rahn, she was frustrated with the way he'd been acting, like she needed strict supervision. She was weary of his push and pull of being her superior, her lover, and her friend, but never at the same time, a role dictated entirely by his own whims and moods. It would have been better if he hadn't come at all.

In fact, she wished she'd not told him.

It's not only for the science, what I intend to take part in tonight, she'd written in her notes, with full plans of scribbling the words out later, or even burning them. It's so I can replace these experiences for his and mine, and my heart can move on. The more men I've known, the less potent he becomes, until this is all just a distant memory of two scholars working on an assignment together.

Their lovemaking two nights ago—she could think of it as nothing else, for what else explained his gentle kisses, his complete abandonment of the most sacred rule of all?—had been the final fall of the hammer for her. She had overcome her own denial about the potent feelings between them, but he never would. Rahn would never open up, never meet her where she deserved. Of all the gifts he'd given her, it by far the most bittersweet, but also the most important.

I wish you could see yourself as I do.

Aesylt had plenty of desires, and she understood them better because of him. She wasn't afraid of them or what they said about her. Her only real fear was being forced to deny herself.

Revelry was made for someone like her, and if Rahn Tindahl couldn't see that, couldn't respect that, then it was his burden to carry.

She sensed she was being watched and glanced to the left corner of the room, where two attractive men were looking her way. One wore a robe, the other had his draped over an arm. Both were displaying their red strings openly.

With a shaky breath, she nodded and lifted her wrist, unsure if it was the right way to send the message—wondering if she was a fool for sending one at all. The heavy, pitched song from the string musicians drove her nerves to a higher ledge as she awaited their reaction.

They exchanged looks, grinning, and nodded back.

It was on.

Whatever that meant.

"I'll fetch us drinks," Pieter said and disappeared into the crowd.

"Ae—Ella,"Rahn said the moment Pieter was gone. He reached for her shoulders, but she ripped away with an affronted scowl.

"Let us get one thing quite clear... Gerald." She took a step back. The ferocity in her eyes was startling. "I came here for the full experience. I was not coerced. I have nothing to prove. This will of course benefit our research immensely, but the truth is..." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Rahn, I want this. I want to taste the world of the forbidden, as freely as men do and without shame. If that bothers you, then you can leave. You should leave. Because I do not need you nor want you to intervene on my behalf. I don't even..." Aesylt's expression softened into distress. "I wish you hadn't come."

Her confession left him reeling. She'd said none of that when she'd told him about Pieter's proposal, so either she'd lied about her intention then or she was lying tonight. Once more, he faced the cost of all he'd allowed to happen. All he'd enthusiastically participated in with her. Everything had spun from his control so fast, he didn't know how to bring it all back together.

"Left you speechless again, did I?" Aesylt's eyes glossed, her lip turning up at the corner. She seemed equally on the verge of bursting into tears as flying into a rage.

"I would never want you to feel shame for who you are or what you want," Rahn said, painfully mindful he was losing her, word by word, and whatever he said next would either solidify that or buy him a little more time. "I worry only for your safety."

"Is that all you worry for? My safety?" She blinked slowly. "Hvala, Ota."

"We don't know any of these men, Ae–Ella!"

Her mouth turned in a cheeky grin. "That's the whole appeal, isn't it? I never have to see any of them again."

Rahn tugged one hand down his face and squeezed his chin. "I feel as though I've missed something critical in our interactions that would explain your behavior." He pulled his face into a tight wince. The moment his admission was out, he knew it had been the wrong one.

"My..." Aesylt laughed, her mouth wide in astonishment. "And there it is, aye? I'm still just a disciple to you, fresh-faced about the world, despairing of a knight to protect me from all things dark and dangerous. Even the other night was nothing more than—" All humor in her expression dissolved. "You don't know me at all, and I see now... You never wanted to, did you? Not if it meant seeing me for who I really am."

She loosed the robe from her hands. It opened, revealing the inner arcs of her breasts, her pubic mound. One sleeve, she pushed up, then the other. She lifted her red-stringed wrist with a bold, challenging look.

Mine. The thought came on so fast, so sudden, it was dizzying.

"You don't have to do this," he pleaded weakly, aware the moment was already lost, that she was already lost, to him. Everything he said was only making it worse, but he couldn't stop. "You have nothing to prove to anyone."

"And again, you aren't listening to me." She shook her head in disappointment, dragging her gaze over him. "I can't... I'm done. I came here to enjoy myself, not be lectured or be made to feel my judgment is impaired."

Rahn crossed both of his hands over his racing heart. Every second pulled her further away from him, from the magic they'd made in the tower. What had taken over a year to build was disassembling right before his eyes. "I promise you, that was not my intention."

"Then prove it," she said, "and leave me to experience the evening my way."

He drew upon all his self-control to watch her move away.

Walking awayfrom Rahn was unspeakably difficult, no matter how nonchalant she'd appeared in the final moments of their charged confrontation. Her heart had been his from the moment he'd walked into Fanghelm, but his had never been hers, and only more senseless pain lay ahead if she stayed the course she was on. Knowing when to leave and when to stay was a lesson Drazhan had taught her. He'd seen that guiding his people was impossible until he'd experienced his own journey of growth. He'd forsaken his comforts and his relationship with his sister for something bigger than himself.

She wasn't just leaving Rahn; she was leaving a version of herself behind as well.

Her past slipped away with each confident step, like a moth molting into a butterfly. Thinking of herself in that way gave her courage and conviction, and she lifted her head higher, pinching her shoulders back.

The men she'd exchanged nods with were no longer in the corner, but she had a feeling she knew where to find them.

Aesylt felt Rahn watching her.

She passed under the archways without looking back.

Rahn acceptedthe drink from Pieter without even looking at it to see what it was, downed it, and shoved the cup back into the man's hands. "From the very first, you have had your eyes on her. You planned this."

"Why did you come, eh? You're clearly miserable." Pieter clapped him on the shoulder and sipped his own drink slowly. "You're wrong anyway. I have no interest in her, at least not sexually." He grinned into another sip. "I prefer my women more... mature." He swallowed. "And sometimes I prefer them not to be women at all."

"Then what is your intention with her?" Rahn divided his frenzied attention between Pieter and the arch under which Aesylt had disappeared. She might not want him around, but he wasn't leaving without her. "What do you get out of all this ‘helpfulness'?"

"The satisfaction of aiding a friend?"

"Horseshit."

Pieter's mouth arched in amusement. "You're far more interesting when you're less reserved... Gerald. Another drink?"

Rahn clenched his hands into fists at his sides when they lost feeling. I'm not losing it, not here. "If anything happens to her tonight, I won't bother going to Drazhan. I'll kill you myself. And then I'll walk myself into the lawman's office, confess what I've done and why, so the appropriate legacy is the one that follows you into the afterlife, not whatever fairytale your family wants to spin to cover who you really are." He snorted in disgust. "Stay away from her, or you'll see a side of me you would not have thought possible."

"The night is hers to enjoy as she pleases. I have my own ahead of me." Pieter raised his glass, unruffled by the threats.

"Fuck you, Pieter," Rahn spat and charged toward the arch.

Aesylt had been visitinganother world her whole life, but the one beyond the wispy curtains was another universe altogether.

The carpeted passageway stretched on forever. Along the west side were a series of doorless rooms, within which people moaned and laughed in delight. The string musicians could scarcely be heard anymore, their song having lost the competition with the symphony of unabashed debauchery rippling down the long hall.

The hall was full of revelers, even more than the main room. Most had already disrobed, displaying a mix of yellow and red strings. She saw a man with another man's cock in one hand, and with the other, he was gesturing wildly toward the woman he was conversing with. Nearby, two women were trading off giving oral pleasure to a satisfied-looking older gentleman.

A sensuous, feminine voice purred in her ear, "You should take that off, love," but when Aesylt turned to see who had said it, no one was there. Another someone placed a drink in her hand with a broad grin and moved on. Aesylt eyed the cup in suspicion, but she was there for the full experience, so she tossed it back and handed the empty glass to the next server she saw.

Incense made the air hazy, but the scent was one she'd not experienced before, warm and oaky and disorienting.

Her gaze traveled to each open room as she passed. They were all accoutred with luxurious cushions, settees, and refreshment carts. But it wasn't the furnishings that kept her eyes from wandering back to the safety of the hall. Twists of sweaty limbs, moving in perfect rhythm together. Women slithering against women, and men penetrating while being penetrated. Their moans wrapped in the sweetness of pure abandonment.

"I dare not assume your color, but how I would love to enjoy you in the darning room."

Aesylt turned and saw a tall, robeless, masked man holding a drink as he grinned at her. His wrist was adorned with a red string. "The darning room?"

"First time, love?"

She felt her first shame of the evening when she nodded.

"Ah, and your host failed to explain things to you. Tsk, tsk." The man draped an arm over her shoulder and gestured around with his drink. "Every one of these rooms has a theme. That one nearest us is the magi room, reserved for those who enjoy adding a little magic to their play. This one here is called the domestic staircase, because it's where highborns and servants come to switch roles. The highborns are whipped and dominated by the servants, and the servants are lavished with pleasure beyond their imagining. Ah, and that one there is the accounting room. Men and women there charge for their services, and they are all too eager to part with their money. And this one..." He trailed off. "It's more fun to explore on your own. The darning room, though, you asked. In there, I would dress you in a thick, ungainly woolen garment. To earn your body, I would need to unravel you thread by thread, until there was nothing left but my unslakable lust for you."

"Oh, that... That all sounds intriguing," Aesylt said, trying not to let her eyes wander downward. "I'm flattered by your offer, but I'm still trying to decide how I want to spend the evening." Unsure why, she lifted her wrist to show him she was red. She felt a stab of pride, like it was proof she wasn't afraid. "But I'm here to do more than learn."

The man's eyes widened approvingly as his head tilted. "A first timer and going all in? I'm impressed. And a little afraid for you." He threw his head back with a deep laugh. "Do be careful, love. It's so very rare to have someone who is both new and willing to do anything anyone wants. The wrong man or woman hears about you, you'll be in for quite the night."

Aesylt curled her mouth defiantly. "Maybe that's what I'm here for."

"Then off goes the robe, love." He flicked his fingers. When she hesitated, he laughed again. "You've already denied me once. I won't suddenly change my mind when your bracelet is showing."

Reluctantly, Aesylt peeled the robe away. A nude attendant tried to take it from her, but she wasn't ready to part with it. It was her breakfrom all of it, as Proctor had explained, and without knowing how the night would go, she couldn't guess how often she'd need a moment to herself.

"You are a vision, love." The man licked his lips. "But I am a man of my word. May your evening provide infinite rewards. Find me again at the first snow." He sashayed off.

Aesylt had never felt so exposed. The need to be robed again was almost stronger than her determination.

Men and woman alike eyed her like prey, a feeling both unsettling and seductive. She'd never been the woman who commanded a room. Never had needed to be. Yet something about her was enough to stop conversations as she glided slowly down the hall, wearing a level of confidence she had yet to earn.

Right as she was looking in on a room that seemed to be filled with only the color yellow, powerful hands gripped and tugged her hips from behind. She gasped, trying to turn, but the man's hold was like iron.

"Wait," she croaked, but he marched her to a settee against the wall and bent her forward over the arm, then smashed her face into a cushion still warm from when someone had sat there.

Rahn kept findingher and losing her.

For such an apparently secret society, it seemed like half of Wulfsgate was in attendance. He could tell a lot about people by the way they stood, how they held themselves, and there were enough naked highborns in the hall for a proper scandal.

He spotted her talking to a tall, naked man and pushed through a crowd to get closer. But by the time he was free of the tangle, she was alone again and continuing down the hall.

Without her robe on.

His pulse hastened as he moved faster, determined not to lose her this time. He was smashing into so much flesh, he no longer bothered to apologize. Before... Years ago, Revelry would have lighted every one of his unusual sexual appetites, but his blood and bones were ice, his mind consumed with a single purpose.

Protect her.

Rahn gasped when a man grabbed hold of Aesylt from behind and dragged her. Rahn led with his elbow, pushing and shoving until he ran smack into a nude woman dangling two drinks.

"I suppose this one's for you, seeing as you clearly need it!" she teased, shoving some bubbly concoction under his nose. He tried to get past her, but she matched his side steps like it was a game.

"I need to?—"

She nudged the glass to his face, clinking it against his teeth. He shoved it away, right as he saw something that made every nerve in his body stand on end and the ice in his blood turn to fire.

This is happening. This is really happening. This will really, actually happen unless I rip off my bracelet.

But this is what I want, and it's why I've come here.

The man's hand shifted to the small of her back, holding her in place. His cock slapped her ass a few times before he lined it up against her.

Who are you? she wanted to ask but wouldn't. What was happening in that sordid moment was the entire point. Why she'd come. Her notes would be magnificent, and her heart would mend, but she had to relax.

Aesylt crushed out a gulp when the stranger penetrated her. Her hands slid down to the cushion and wrapped beneath the sides, bracing her through every vigorous thrust, her robe pressed between her body and the cushion. He grunted different variations of yes and so good, but they sounded absurd. None of her interludes with the scholar had prepared her for it, because the two things were nothing alike at all. That had been intimacy. Being taken by a stranger was carnal. Empty.

"You want me to fill this cunt, girl?" He moaned.

She tried to answer, but her voice creaked.

The man gave one final, forceful shove, and it was done. His warmth spread through her, sending her heart into palpitations, but she was risking nothing. She was already late, already in trouble. If she couldn't get ahold of her vedhma's tea soon, she'd be in an entire world of it.

The man patted her back like she'd done well, helped her stand, and disappeared like a thief in the night. She glanced around, worried what others were thinking about her brash affair that had been over as quickly as it had begun, but everyone had their own explorations to occupy them.

I just laid with another man. A man I'll never know or meet again. A man incapable of breaking my heart.

And I want more.

"Up for some illusions tonight, beautiful?" She was still reeling from the encounter with the man whose face she'd never even seen the whole of, and she didn't at first realize the man speaking to her was one of the two who had nodded at her in the green room.

Rahn rolledhis tense hands over the arm of the settee where that man had... had...

White-hot rage seared the back of his eyes. How savage had handled her... like she meant nothing... like she was merely a hole for him to exploit. Like she wasn't a talented, clever, beautiful creature deserving of everything.

I don't care what she says.

I don't care if she hates me for it.

I'm getting her out of here before this place swallows her whole.

The room was linedwith plush cushions of violet, cerulean, and gold. The walls, too, were painted in these colors, art with no pattern. One of the men slid his hands along her shoulders and cleared her hair from her neck to kiss it. The other grabbed her chin and lifted her mouth to his. She moaned at the dual sensations of the men behind her and in front of her.

"You can call me A, and he's B. When the light goes out, you'll know me by the scar on my chest," the redhead, A, said. She finally got a good look at them both—the other had hair as dark as night—and realized they were brothers. "And you are, beautiful?"

"Ella," she said, her eyes on their cocks, both of them hard. Two more ways to forget. "But you can call me whatever you want."

The men exchanged lustful glances. "Put this on," A said and handed her a blindfold.

Aesylt turned the silk cloth over in her hand. "Will you be wearing one?"

A grinned. "No, beautiful. We need to see you."

"All of you," B replied.

Aesylt didn't want the men to think she was hesitating from lack of interest, so she removed her mask and tied the blindfold as best she could. One of the men came up behind her and tightened it, but he pulled her hair aside so it wouldn't get caught.

"Comfortable enough?" A asked.

"More importantly, can you see?" B laughed.

"Yes, it's comfortable enough. And no." She smiled and waved her hands in front of her eyes. "Not a thing."

"This is your first time at Revelry," B said. "Hopefully not your last, Ella, so we'll go easy on you. This time."

"This time," A stated, and they both laughed.

They were being kind and considerate, two things she hadn't expected after the crude way the other man had fucked her on the couch and left without a word.

But kind and considerate wouldn't obliterate the pain.

"Actually," she said, tilting her head back. "I'd prefer you didn't."

Rahn searched every room.He was chased out of two and yelled at by revelers in three others. He mumbled hollow apologies as he looked behind couches and turned over cushions, dodging swats and objections. He reached for anything he could find, anything to erase the image of Aesylt being manhandled by that degenerate.

He was as much looking for that cretin as Aesylt.

Rahn couldn't catch his breath. Every one was too short, too strained. He wheezed, dark spots teasing his vision.

He closed his eyes and reminded himself what was at stake if he couldn't pull himself together.

Aesylt was ledto a pile of cushions that seemed higher than the others, with A holding one hand, B the other. They gently laid her back, spreading her legs as she was nestled into place. Being blindfolded was so disorienting that when a tongue lathed the center of her, she realized she was only surprised because she'd been expecting something else.

"You taste like another man, Ella." A sounded almost reproving. "We'll remedy that."

Despite the nip in the air, she wasn't cold, because the warm hands of the men were tracing every inch of her. A caressed her thighs as he licked at her. B ran his hands down her arms... her torso.

She cried out when she was close, but A's laugh rumbled against her core.

"Not yet, beautiful."

The air shifted. Both men had stepped away, but she could still hear them.

A hand at her ankle signaled the return of one of them. He lifted her leg high in the air, almost pulling her off the cushion, and slid his cock in slowly. His groan lasted the length of his thrust.

Something strange and delicious washed over her, like she was being carried to another realm. A wave of euphoria ripped through her, and she cried out in delight.

"Feels incredible, doesn't it?" B, close to her face. Flesh slapped her mouth. His cock. She flitted her tongue out to catch it, riding the delirious high that had come seemingly from nowhere.

"You feel it too?" She panted, shifting back against the cushions with every thrust from A.

"We slather it on our cocks to heighten the experience for all of us." He parted her lips with his head and silenced her when he slid himself down her tongue, toward her throat. "We don't know what it's called, so don't ask—ah, Guardians... Your mouth is so fucking warm. I might fill it until you choke, beautiful."

Aesylt reached above her head to grip the base of B's cock as he worked her mouth. The push and pull of each man's desire had the rough fabric of the pillows burning her sensitive skin, but she craved more blissful release. More pain. Anything to heighten the experience, to drag her further from the past few weeks.

Rahn's face jumped into her thoughts. Her chest caved, her breath catching. Tears sprang so suddenly to her eyes, she could hardly make sense of them. No, I don't want to feel like this. I don't want him. No one should ever want someone who cares more for their own illusions than the person they love.

"You want more, Ella?" A asked between thrusts. "Just nod, beautiful. Your mouth is going to stay full for a while."

Aesylt nodded profusely, hoping neither of them had spotted the tears trickling beneath her blindfold.

Two stunning women appeared,one on each side of him. Rahn smiled curtly, amazed they couldn't read the tension in his body language screaming for everyone to just get away, and said, "Excuse me, ladies, I'm in a hurry. I'm looking for someone."

One of them pulled up his robe and nodded. "Kaya, he's yellow. I told you."

"No, I told you that there's no way this sweet hunk of man would ever be depraved enough to wear red."

"That is not what you said at all!"

"Ladies—" Rahn breathed deep and hard when they kept bickering. "Please excuse me?—"

"Well, yellow, red, he must be open to some adventure," the first one said, laughing. "Or he would have stayed in the green room."

Rahn stumbled away in exasperation and faced them directly. "Please. I'm looking for a woman, about twenty. Long, pale hair. She isn't... isn't wearing her robe. She was going this way."

"Red or yellow?"

He swallowed. "Red."

The ladies looked at each other and laughed again. "Oh," the second one said, "you poor dear. She your wife? I almost regret to tell you that there's no doubt in my mind she's being properly fucked in one of these rooms."

"She's not my wife," he stated, threading his words through gritted teeth. "But I believe she's in danger."

"Here? At Revelry?"

They laughed harder.

"Danger from a good, hard ride," the other cajoled.

Rahn spun away from them and continued down the hall.

A finished,taking some of his spend with him when he pulled away. He spread her wide and moaned at whatever he saw. Aesylt could only guess. She could see nothing beyond the barest hint of light at the center of her blindfold.

He crawled atop the cushions until he was closer to her head and parted her mouth to make room for his cock. It was soft and salty, and she understood he was looking for her to restore it to life. She reached up to grab his ass, tugging him farther in and sucking him as far as her throat would allow, and the sound he made told her she was doing well.

When she paused for breath, he removed himself, and there was more confusion of activity. She was lifted gently at the waist, shifted, and placed in the lap of who she assumed was B. With one hand on her face, the other between both of their legs, he slid inside her and said, low and rough, "Ride."

The word alone was enough, but the surreal nature of the evening, the bizarre high she couldn't explain, turned her pace into a frenzied series of movements that had B asking her to slow down and be ‘one with the moment.' But he was bigger than A, bigger than—no, don't say his name, don't even think it—and the pain broke through in short, stinging waves that made her unexpectedly erupt into an orgasm that came from deep within her.

"Fuck yes," B moaned, slapping her ass to urge her on. "A, get over here."

A wasn't far. She'd felt him nearby, watching. He slid his hand down her back and between the crack of her ass, then dipped even lower as he slid his finger inside of her, running alongside B's cock. She couldn't figure out what he was doing until he withdrew his wet finger and slid it into her ass.

Aesylt lifted from the shock of it. She had never... Well, she hadn't even been touched there.

"You don't like that?" A asked, withdrawing.

"I don't know if I like it," Aesylt replied, slowing her stride so her nerve endings could catch up. "I've never done it before."

"We usually start with a finger. Work our way up," A explained. "Sometimes women say they can feel both of us touching."

"Oh," she said, breathless, feeling B swell inside her as he drew close to a finish. A was working up to fucking her... back there. At the same time, she was riding B. Imagining it drove her wild again, but something was nagging at her. It was just beyond the reach of her thoughts, swimming yet disconnected and floating away from each other.

Twelve rooms he'd checked,but it was the thirteenth where he found her.

If the entire night hadn't been so dreamlike, he'd have been rooted in place at the sight of Aesylt riding one man while another had a finger inside her ass. But with only the slightest relief, he realized he'd actually been expecting worse, after some of the scenes he'd barged in on.

"Oy! Get your own room!" the man under Aesylt cried.

She hadn't seen him because she was blindfolded.

Rahn moved in farther. Both men stared at him in disbelief, wondering if he was stupid, arrogant, or both, but they could wonder until dawn for all he cared. He was there to get Aesylt out.

"You hard of hearing, pretty boy?"

Rahn cleared his throat. Aesylt had stopped moving but was still hinged over the man's lap. He couldn't explain why it cut so deep. Why it hurt the way it did, like something immense was sitting on his chest and wouldn't relent. "Ella. Do you want me to leave?"

Aesylt's back straightened. Her head darted his way, her mouth parted in alarm. "Ra—Gerald?"

"I've been looking for you, Ella."

"Who is this? Your husband?" one of the men asked with a dry laugh.

"Just a friend," she said. Her pale throat moved with a swallow. "What are you doing here, Gerald?"

"I came to take you home."

"I'm not going home."

"Come on, B, let's get him out of here."

Rahn took another decisive step inside. "No. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to Ella."

"Ella, tell this yellow bracelet how things are," one of the men said, his tone testy.

"I want... this, Gerald," Aesylt said carefully. She adjusted on the man's lap, her bare back twisting, like she was embarrassed. "I'm not doing anything I didn't ask for."

"We can talk about this at home?—"

"No," she said. "No. You can go, but I'm staying."

He started toward her, and the man who'd been playing with her ass stepped between them.

"It's all right," she said, and the man relented. "I'll handle this."

Rahn crouched beside her. He couldn't look at the man beneath her... at what they were doing. He couldn't even fathom her giving and receiving pleasure with someone else. He had no right to feel so angry about any of it—no right to feel anything at all about what she did with her own body.

His hand came up to cup her face. "I don't believe you really want this. I know you."

A single tear rolled down from a gap in her blindfold. "If you knew me..." She didn't finish.

"If I knew you, what?" he asked.

"I'm not doing this with you right now. If you want to stay, then... then enjoy yourself, as I am."

Rahn's voice broke. "How?"

Aesylt turned in the direction the other man was standing. "Can he join?"

"Ahh..." The man scoffed, snorting in annoyance. "I don't know. B?"

"She has three holes, doesn't she?"

Fresh wrath exploded from his every pore to hear them speak of her like that. "Ella..."

"I want to try something new tonight," she said, lowering her chin and tilting her head. "But I would prefer it be with someone I trust."

Rahn shook his head, despite her inability to see. "What do you want to try that we haven't already?"

Aesylt glanced behind herself. He suddenly understood.

"You want that?"

She nodded. "I want that, and I'll have it. But if you stay, you could... be the one. The first."

Taking a woman that way had always been a desire of his, but whenever he thought of broaching the subject with Aesylt, the timing always felt wrong. He loved the way she invited his pain, so it wasn't that. Truly, he didn't understand his reticence at all.

And she wanted him to do it while another man was inside of her.

"I can't," he said and kissed her cheek, brushing his thumb along the same spot. "I'm sorry."

Why,why had she asked him to stay? The whole intent of the evening had been to drive him away from her thoughts, to replace every brush of his hand—every thrust of his affection—so whatever power he held over her would be neutered forever.

But she wanted it. Wanted it badly. Wanted him to be the one behind her, keeping her safe while she lived out a dark fantasy she might not get to experience again.

And he'd refused.

"Stay and play or leave," A barked. "You're killing the mood."

B grabbed her hips and urged her back into motion. Aesylt lifted and did as he asked, but nothing was the same anymore. The spell had been broken, and all she felt was lost, her thoughts spiraling down a dark corridor.

"Come home with me."

"Close," B groaned.

"Ella. Look at me," Rahn pleaded.

Dizziness punched her in the face. She rolled off B. Her hand clawed at her face, ripping at the blindfold, and the assault of light left her nauseated. The room spun, and it seemed no matter where she landed her hands or her knees, she was crawling into nothing... nowhere.

"Ella?" Rahn went to her.

"I don't feel so—" She gripped the seams of two cushions for support and vomited.

"Whatdid you give her?" Rahn demanded. He gathered her hair at the nape of her neck.

"Nothing that would do this," A said. "It just heightens the experience. That's all."

"It wasn't..." Aesylt hurled again. It wasn't the serum. I don't know what this is. It's the stench. It's the... I don't know what's wrong with me.

"She's done here," Rahn said. He slowly stood. "Ella and I are here as guests of Pieter Dereham. If that doesn't cool your blood, there are swords in the rack by the entrance."

"The... fuck..." B whistled. "We're not here to force anyone to do anything! She came here on her own. Ella's free to leave if it's what she wants."

"Got what you wanted, did you?" Rahn retorted.

"Rahn..." Aesylt vomited through fresh tears. For years she'd been too broken to cry, and twice now she'd done it in as many days. It's finally happening. I'm breaking into a million pieces.

"What did she say?" A asked, confused.

"I have you, Squish," Rahn whispered, closing her in an embrace from behind. "Don't think about anything else. It's just you and me now."

"Come on, let's go, B."

She didn't begin to fully sob until both of the men had left.

"I don't know what's wrong. I wanted this, but now I feel so..." Aesylt went limp when he shoved her robe back through her arms. "You should have stayed away."

"You should know by now I'd never leave you alone in a place like this," he said and lifted her into his arms as he stood.

"Rahn—"

"Tell me about the stars, Aesylt."

"What?" Her tears stained his robe, but his words brought her momentarily to life. That night in the tree came swimming back to her... the way he'd climbed for her, risked everything for her.

"Just press your face to my chest, close your eyes, and tell me about the stars, Squish."

Rahn wasaware of the concerned and curious eyes following them down the red-carpeted hall as he carried a weeping Aesylt, but he was singularly focused on getting her the bloody hell out of there. They could think whatever they damn well pleased.

When he stepped into the green room with her, relief crept in. They were close. He would find the guards and get her safely into the wagon, and they could put the night behind them.

His gaze locked onto the door, but Pieter stepped in front of him.

"Whoa. Did something happen to her?" He was either a better actor than Rahn was aware of, or his concern was genuine.

But Rahn didn't care about that either. "We're leaving. Move."

"Is she all right?"

"A bit late to be asking that," Rahn muttered and shoved past, marching through a thick silence that followed him all the way to the welcome rush of fresh air.

Aesylt blinked languid and slow,like the world as it passed by at half the pace it should be while she bounced in Rahn's muscular arms.

Rahn. Adrahn. Her scholar. She'd been running away from him all night, only to land right back where she'd started.

Tell me about the stars, Aesylt.

The trees bowed and bent, consumed by flames. But no, that wasn't right. They weren't on fire. The flickering was from the bonfires, and the bonfires were in the?—

Aesylt blacked out.

Rahn had been gently smoothingthe sponge against Aesylt's tender flesh for the past hour. She'd woken intermittently, long enough to mumble gibberish before succumbing back to her heavy slumber.

She slept against his chest in the bath. The whole night seemed like a fever dream. Nothing else explained the gentle peace he felt listening to her inhalations and exhalations as the snow fell in soft flakes outside the window. It was a jarring departure from the fear and anger that had carried him down the long hall.

The bathwater had gone cold long ago, but the fire was keeping him warm enough.

He closed his eyes and kissed the top of her head, lost for what to do about any of it.

Reluctantly, he broke the spell and lifted her from the tub. She stirred in his arms but didn't wake, not even when he dried her and slid her nightgown over her clean body, or when he laid her in the bed.

"Are you... Are you mad at me?" Her soft voice drifted from the bed. Her eyes struggled to open.

"Mad? Squish..." Rahn sighed, burying his face into his hands. "No. No, I'm not mad. You've done nothing wrong."

"If you're not mad, you're... You're something."

"Confused," he said after a soft pause. He sighed. "Worried. They drugged you, and you vomited, and?—"

"They didn't drug me, and that's not... It's not why I vomited."

He shook his head. "Then why?"

"You don't think I was coerced, do you?"

"Why did you vomit, Aesylt?"

"Because I wasn't coerced."

"If you were, those men would be dead, and I would be in jail."

She drew the blanket tight to her neck. "I don't regret it, so if you're waiting for me to say I am?—"

"I wasn't?—"

"But I never, ever want to do that again." Her eyes welled with more tears.

Rahn tried to breathe deep, but it came short. "Why?"

She rolled her head to face away. "I thought I could be the kind of person who could enjoy a casual encounter and still be me. I thought maybe..." She shook her head tightly. "And you... Did you have your own... fun... tonight?"

"No." Rahn cleared his throat and smoothed some lumps from her blanket to keep his hands busy.

"Why not?"

"I didn't go there for that."

A distressed frown knit her eyebrows together. "When I asked you to stay and participate with those men, you said no."

Rahn jumped to answer but realized he needed to think first. "I wanted to share it with you, Aesylt, just not... not in that environment. Not with those men."

Aesylt considered all of that for a while. Their silence turned from careful to comfortable, and he was priming himself for the inevitable retreat to his own bed when she finally had something to say.

"Scholar, I... I think we've done enough. In the coitus curricula, I mean. I think we've done all we can for it, and it's..." She rolled her lips inward, sucking in through her nose. "I think I'm done."

Rahn squeezed her leg through the blanket, fervently nodding through a powerful impulse to cry. "I agree, Squish. We've done more than enough. No one would dare say otherwise."