Chapter 4

CHAPTER4

“Well… that went unexpectedly,” Leo heard his mother say, the moment they saw their guests’ carriage ride away into the distance. They were still standing in the doorway, neither of them bothered by the crisp night air that quivered around them.

“If I told you of my plan, I know you would try to dissuade me,” he admitted, not turning to look at her but rather focusing on some invisible spot in the distance only he could see.

“You knew well,” she confirmed, sounding not as bitter and disappointed as he expected her to. “I simply expected you to marry out of love, not out of spite.”

“What makes you say that?” he asked, although he knew that his mother was shrewder than she let on. She could see things others could not, and therefore, her understanding of a certain situation went far beyond what she was merely told.

“You want to merge your two businesses,” she continued, “but I didn’t think that you would sacrifice your own happiness to do so.”

“I don’t think I am sacrificing my happiness,” he corrected her. “On the contrary, I believe I am on that very same path, only perhaps not in the manner I originally thought I would go.”

“You really want to marry this young lady?” she asked directly, this time staring him straight in the eyes.

To be honest, he did not know. The thought titillated him, mostly because she had been unattainable until this very evening. He believed that the very confirmation that she was to become his wife would be enough to rid him of this silly desire for her, but in fact, it did exactly the opposite. Instead of satiating this need to make her his, if in no other way than in name only, he found himself yearning to see her again and reestablish his dominance over her and this situation. She delighted him even more now that he was so close to making her his.

“I think she is a lovely young lady,” he tried to avoid answering, but his mother would not have it.

“That wasn’t my question,” she reminded him.

He sighed. “If you are asking whether I am in love with her, then the answer is no. I do not even know her.”

That was true… up until a certain point. He didn’t think he was in love with her. He was… in lust. Was that even a term? Perhaps it was, perhaps not. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that ever since the night he first laid his eyes on her, he wasn’t able to get her out of his mind. No other woman’s arms or body managed to erase the memory of that night, and he doubted it would ever happen. But he was most certainly not in love. Absolutely not.

“A good marriage isn’t based on love but rather on respect and understanding,” she pointed out. “I also wasn’t in love with your father. I grew to love him over the course of time, but I can assure you that there was always mutual understanding and respect, from the moment we became husband and wife.”

“That is what I want to have as well,” he said. This much wasn’t a lie. He truly did want that.

“I fear that might not be possible with this young lady,” she expressed her doubt in a reasonable manner. “She is the daughter of a man who hates your father, and who possibly, perhaps even probably, hates you as well. You can rest assured that this hatred has infected his entire family, his daughter included. Do you truly believe that she would be able to respect you and understand you as a true wife should?”

Leo hadn’t really thought that far ahead. He was still thinking about that first wedding night and whether or not something would happen. Their future life together seemed too far away to consider just yet.

“I am hoping that she will see I am not my father,” he said, surprising even himself with these words as if they came from somewhere deep inside of him, from a place he didn’t even knew existed. “I am hoping that she will see me for the man that I am, a man who would keep her safe and protected and who would do anything for his family.”

Apparently, even his mother was just as surprised as he was. They exchanged a meaningful gaze, and after a few moments of pure silence, they smiled at each other.

“If that is what you have decided, you know I will support you no matter what,” she said lovingly.

He took her hand in his and squeezed it, appreciating every word, every glance, and every embrace. She was the only family he had left, and he knew that he needed to cherish her because she would not be around forever. Even though it had been already a year, he still missed his father terribly. A part of him still expected to see his father seated at the leather chair in his study, bent over his favorite book. He hoped and expected, and yet, reality always came to him like a thunderstorm, reminding him of what he had lost. Now, he was more appreciative of what he had, and he planned on staying on that path of appreciation.

“Let’s hope that I didn’t make a grave mistake,” he said, half-joking.

She smiled back. “You will know that only when it is far too late to change anything, my dear.”

Half-joking and half-serious, they returned to the house together, hand in hand. Things were going according to plan, and Leo hoped they would remain like that.

* * *

Jane was combing her hair that same night before bedtime, fully aware of the fact that she would not be able to sleep. Her heart was racing inside her chest like a horse at Ascot’s, only this would be a race she wouldn’t win. No matter what choice she made, she would never get out of this as a winner.

Her long, blonde hair cascaded down her shoulders, silky smooth as the brush went through it effortlessly. This was something her mother used to do when she was a little girl. It was a little ritual that belonged only to them, during which they shared some secrets only women should know. Little by little, this ritual came to a halt although Jane could not explain to herself why. She didn’t question it either and simply let it go.

Just as she was about to put her brush down, there was a soft knock on the door. At first, she wondered if that was her father, coming to discuss what happened. She was in no mood for such discussions right now, but she could not barricade herself off from the rest of the world, even from the rest of her family.

“Yes?” she called out, glancing at the door which opened, only to reveal the worried face of her mother.

“May I come in?” she asked, cautiously.

“Of course,” Jane nodded, not in a particular mood for chatting, but she could not deny her mother.

Her mother approached her, smiling proudly. “I remember when I used to comb your hair.”

“I remember that, too,” Jane smiled back.

“May I?” her mother asked, her voice trembling.

Jane nodded, watching as her mother took the brush into her hand and sat behind her. Slowly, the brush went through Jane’s hair while she closed her eyes and allowed the memories of her childhood to flood her. They spent a few moments like that, in perfect silence, both of them remembering the good old days, when her mother suddenly spoke.

“I came to see if you were all right,” she admitted.

Jane’s eyes fluttered open. “Under the circumstances…”

“Yes,” her mother nodded. “Under the circumstances.”

“I’ve been better,” she confessed.

Her mother sighed. She was obviously feeling guilty. Jane could sense that.

“You know that your father and I wouldn’t ask this of you unless the situation was dire?” her mother asked, her voice down to an embarrassed whisper.

“I know the situation we are in,” Jane nodded. “I understand. I have a right not to like it… but I understand.”

This was all Jane could say. Not only did she not like the situation, but she downright loathed it, and she was adamant to do something about it. But she could not count on the support of her mother and father. She would need to do it on her own. Her initial plan was to speak with the Duke, alone. The thought was shocking, a lady and a gentleman speaking like that, but that was her only chance. If she managed to convince him not to marry her but to allow the merger to happen, that would be perfect. Everyone would get exactly what they wanted. All she needed to do was convince him that the two of them marrying was a preposterous idea. How hard could that be?

“You are such a wonderful daughter,” her mother said as if she sensed that her daughter was up to something and wished to make her feel guilty about it. But Jane was determined to get out of this arranged marriage at any cost.

Jane smiled at her mother, feeling her hand on her shoulder. She felt that the two of them had somehow drifted apart although the bond between a mother and a daughter could never be broken. Only… theirs somehow was. She didn’t know if her father’s hot temper had anything to do with it, but her mother was constantly busy making excuses for Jane’s father, claiming that his anger issues were the result of stress, of other people, of situations, but never of him. He was never to blame, and Jane could not understand that.

Her mother put down the comb, got up, and placed a soft kiss on her daughter’s forehead. Jane smiled back.

“Good night, darling,” her mother said softly. “Don’t worry. Everything will be all right.”

“I know,” Jane agreed, watching as her mother tiptoed out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Jane believed her mother. Of course, things would be all right because she would make sure that they were so. She would do everything in her power to stop this marriage from happening. Tomorrow, she would speak with the Duke, and she would use all her womanly powers of conviction to make him realize that their marriage would be a terrible, dreadful mistake. He was bound to agree. She would not leave his home until he did.

With those thoughts swarming inside her mind, she tried to fall asleep. She didn’t know when sleep finally graced her with its presence, but eventually, she fell into deep slumber. She dreamed of her future where she was married to someone she loved, to someone who loved her back, to someone who knew that they belonged together. It was a dream she didn’t want to wake up from.