Chapter 15

CHAPTER15

Leo did not wish to be so grumpy, but he could not help it. The way Jane smiled at Seth… he felt such an onslaught of jealousy, he was almost unable to control it. It did not matter one bit that he kept reminding himself that Seth was his friend; he would never try anything with Jane. But Leo knew who Seth was. He knew that his friend did not have a very complimentary opinion of women in general, so Leo could not imagine that Jane would like him, even the slightest bit. He simply could not understand it.

They rode back in silence until she dared to ask the first question.

“Did something happen at the ball?” she asked innocently as the carriage rocked them gently while they sat opposite each other.

He frowned as if she had pulled him out of a reverie he had been lost in up until a moment ago. “You seemed to be having a lot of fun with Seth.” He purposely ignored her question, steering the conversation exactly in the direction where he didn’t want it to go, but he couldn’t help it.

“Your friend, Seth?” she asked, perplexed with his insinuations.

“Yes,” Leo nodded, still with that frown that curled his eyebrows. “You don’t know him as well as I do.”

“I don’t understand what that has to do with anything,” she replied, even more confused with this conversation. A part of him was regretting that he mentioned anything, but knowing himself, he wouldn’t be able to remain quiet anyway.

“He has a peculiar way he sees women,” he tried to explain as vaguely as possible although he knew that Jane was shrewd enough to understand immediately. She was well versed in reading between the lines. “You shouldn’t be on such friendly terms with him.”

Dammit, he thought to himself. He must appear now to be jealous, and he was not. He most certainly was not.

…or was he?

Dammit. That one single word was enough to explain the torment he was in, unable to let the storm out of himself. He couldn’t allow Jane to see him in such a state. He needed to calm himself down.

“We just danced one dance,” she reminded him.

“Yes, but you were talking the entire time,” he said like a petulant child. That was how he felt, too.

Her next reaction surprised him. She chuckled. It was such genuine laughter that he could not help himself but relish in it. It was like music to his ears.

“Of course, we were talking,” she shrugged as the onslaught of laughter died down. “It would be rude not to.”

“You and I didn’t talk,” he reminded her, that petulant child still in charge of all his words and actions.

We didn’t talk because I was too focused on your eyes and lips and how I wished we were all alone in the entire world. Fortunately, he managed to bite his lip before those words revealed exactly how he felt.

“I enjoyed our dance more,” she suddenly said, catching him off guard. “You dance much more skillfully.”

“Thank you,” he said, trying not to give too much weight to those words. “But I wasn’t looking to be complimented. I am merely trying to warn you not to be… too friendly with Seth.”

She tilted her head a little, pondering his words. He could tell that her lips were curved into a slight smile although she was trying to keep it subdued. Instantly, he wondered if she thought he was jealous.

No, no, no. He shook his head quickly to himself. That was the last thing he wanted her to think. Whether or not it was the truth was irrelevant. It was for him to know. Not for her.

“I am merely endeavoring to keep your reputation safe,” he quickly added. “I am a man and socializing with someone like Seth does little to my reputation. But you are a lady. A married lady.”

“Married to you,” she said as if he had forgotten who her husband was, as if he could ever forget that.

“Yes, married to me,” he cleared his throat. “In a marriage of convenience.” He had no idea why he added this. It was merely to dissuade her from thinking that he was jealous. Perhaps if he reminded her that this was merely an arrangement, she would understand that he was only trying to keep her safe as he promised. It was his gentlemanly duty, after all. Nothing more to it.

That all sounded perfectly plausible in his mind. It made so much sense, he almost believed it. Almost.

“If this is a marriage of convenience,” she pointed out, sounding incredibly amused, “then why are you acting the part of a jealous husband?”

“I most certainly am not!” he exclaimed, pulling away and backing up into the wall behind him. But there was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide from the truth of her words. He could deny it as much as he wanted, but the heart knew the truth. He only hoped that the darkness around them would eat it up, making her unable to see it.

She chuckled again. Once again, that devastatingly charming sound of her voice that made him melt right in front of her.

“I have to say,” she told him, still with that mischievous gleam in her eyes. “You are playing the part of a husband in love to perfection.”

He sighed with relief. She must think that they were still pretending.

“I am serious about Seth,” he said gravely. “But yes… everything else is as we agreed.”

It was better to keep it as vague as possible for his own sake.

“Don’t worry,” she assured him. “I won’t see him without you. Why would I?”

He tried to banish the tidal wave of relief that washed over him, but it was impossible not to notice it, not to get lost in it. He wanted her to himself. Only to himself. And he could not admit it to anyone but himself. It was torture.

With her seated so close to him he could smell the fragrance of her skin, the perfume she dabbed right behind her earlobes… it was driving him mad. Seeing her in Seth’s arms, swirling on the dance floor, there was so much more than mere gentlemanly duty to protect her and her reputation. So much more.

There was something about her that seemed much older than she really was, as if they were of equal age in experience with people, with hiding their emotions in front of other people and withdrawing to themselves. He knew that it was not obligation or duty he felt for her.

“Besides,” she said, sounding pleased, “I think we managed to convince everyone at the ball that we are absolutely, madly, and hopelessly in love with each other. We were gazing at each other so lovingly, with such devotion. I swear, I never thought you to be such a good actor.”

He swallowed heavily. “Neither did I.”

Was that a warning? Was she trying to pry behind the screens, to see what was happening?

“Now, we can go back to the way things were,” she said matter-of-factly. “Back to our agreement that we would both lead separate lives.”

“No!” This admonition was torn from his chest before he could even be aware of it.

“No?” she frowned. “Why not?”

“I mean,” he cleared his throat, “it is better to play the part some more. In public, I mean. We need to attend more balls. At least, until the brewery business picks up.”

“I see,” she said pensively. “We should do what we did just now?”

“At the ball?” he asked then replied himself. “Yes. That was perfect.”

“And at home, we go back to our arrangement?” she asked as if she didn’t know.

No. No, a million times no.

That was actually what he wanted to say, but he didn’t. “Yes,” he said instead. “Our marital arrangement is as it always was.”

“We are just an obligation to each other,” she said in a way that he wasn’t certain if she was asking a question or telling him a fact.

She was so far from it, but if he told her that, he would do unspeakable damage. Yet, she looked at him in a way that almost demanded of him to prove her wrong. Was it the drinks? Was it the way they held each other’s hand? Was it the way they gazed at each other so lovingly that not only did they convince others, but they also convinced themselves?

He could not control himself any longer. He reached for her swiftly as if his life depended on it, settling his hands on her thin waist, then he pulled her across and made her land right in his lap. The hot skin underneath all those layers of clothes burned into the palms of his hands, but he refused to let go of her. He couldn’t. Not now that he had her exactly where he wanted her, exactly where she belonged.

“You are not just an obligation to me,” he managed to whisper as convincingly as he could, realizing that he had never uttered a more serious statement in his life. He had never been so possessive about anyone before, any woman he had or wanted to have. She had bewitched him completely, without even intending to.

She dared not move. She just stared at him, but that was enough to awaken every bit of desire in him. His manhood stirred, the result of her nearness, the realization that his hands were on her, and she was so close he could kiss her at any given moment. He waited. The moment was perfect, and he did want to—

But before he could think of anything else, she slammed her lips against his, doing exactly what he had been fighting against for so long. The kiss was soft; there was no tongue in it. It was her first kiss; he was certain of that. The thought of him being the first man to ever taste her aroused him even more.

She offered her lips to him in a way that made him lose himself completely. He had been waiting for so long for this moment; he had already imagined how it ought to be done. To the devil with all that propriety. She did not want to be kissed properly. She wanted to be kissed the way he wanted to kiss her. Thoroughly, desperately, madly.

So, that was how he kissed her. The innocence of her kiss only made him for ravenous for her. He dug his fingers into her waist, pulling her closer to him. He wanted to claim her, to possess her entirely, not only on paper and in name.

The more he kissed her, the more he dug his tongue between her lips, the more receptive she had become. She raked her fingers through hair, slanting her head, so their lips would fit better together. He tried to be gentle, but control was difficult to obtain when his desire was so great. When he sucked on her lower lip, she moaned softly against his lips. His manhood went crazy in his pants.

Her lack of experience was measured against her enthusiasm, and the two were equally matched. She wanted this kiss as much as he did. He wanted to pluck all the hair pins from her hair, to take her here, to feel the soft warmth of her inside as he slid into her, but he knew he couldn’t.

Slowly, he regained control of himself, of his actions, of his kiss. He became more gentle, and she reciprocated. But before he could continue kissing her more and more softly, relishing her hands on his neck, the carriage stopped. She instantly pulled away, her lips slightly swollen from the kissing.

“We’re home,” he heard her say. It made him smile.

“We are,” he replied. “It’s late.”