CHAPTER 46

HANNAH HAD BECOME A light sleeper ever since she had her baby. It was as if some motherly instinct remained attuned to her son's needs. But even if she had been sound asleep, it would have been impossible to miss the great thud that had reverberated through the silent house. She had woken up with a start, her heart racing with fear that only increased as she ran to the nursery and heard the additional noises, the crashes, the wails of her son.

She had feared the baby's crib had overturned. Had prayed for her son to be well. For the noises to have another source. But she had not been prepared for the sight that met her when she entered the nursery.

Gabriel. Standing bloodied in the middle of the darkened room. He looked like an angel of vengeance and death. What was he doing here? How had he entered the house? Why was he bloodied?

So many unanswered questions assaulted her all at once. But there was no time for questioning. Running to her baby, she lifted him from the crib and cradled his soft body in her arms. As if sensing safety, her son's cries quieted.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the nurse and other servants pouring in after her. Bringing more light to illuminate a scene right out of a nightmare. There was a bloodied body crumpled on the floor. Her gaze recoiled from the sight, but she forced herself to look. Blackwell, a knife protruding from his chest, his sightless eyes eerily open.

Her gaze snapped back to Gabriel's. He still had not moved. Had not said a word to either explain or justify the mayhem. He looked... resigned. But there was nothing but tenderness and love in his gaze as it rested upon her and their child. Despite the violence that still vibrated in this room, she felt safe just for having him here.

"What happened?" she panted, gingerly stepping closer to him.

"Blackwell broke into the house. He intended to... hurt the baby. So I killed him."

She shuddered. As much for the chilling words as for the calm, almost dispassionate manner in which he delivered them. Blackwell had tried to kill her baby? And if it were not for Gabriel, he would have succeeded. The realization sent a chill of terror down her spine, and she hugged her child closer. Did Gabriel follow him into the room? How come he was here? Her mind was swirling with confusion, while her heart raced with panic. She reached out to touch Gabriel, to seek reassurance in his warmth, but he stepped back, out of her reach.

"Don't touch me. I'm bloodied."

"Come with me," she invited, turning around and striding out of this room filled with death and horror.

A small group of servants had congregated at the door, all staring at the scene with varying degrees of dread and curiosity. She met the baby's nurse, but she didn't surrender her child. She was not sure she would be able to let him out of her arms in the foreseeable future. There was fear and apology in the woman's eyes.

"Your Grace. I'm so sorry I wasn't here. My little one is teething and a bit fussy. I went down to the kitchens to get a piece of hard biscuit the cook makes for her to nibble—"

"It's quite all right, Maggie."

She faintly heard Gabriel tell one of the footmen to go fetch the constable and have the body covered with a sheet, but not to move it.

She walked on, needing to be as far away from the horrific scene. Gabriel followed her.

"Let's retire to my sitting room. We will have privacy to talk there. I'll order a bath to be readied, and I'm sure we can find a fresh shirt for you."

"That won't be necessary—"

"Please," she begged. "Let me do this for you."

She didn't know how he had come to be in the nursery, how he had known that Blackwell would seek to harm the baby, how he had even entered the house. But she knew he had saved their baby tonight. The least she could do for him was to see to his needs.

He studied her for a couple of heartbeats, his gaze inscrutable. "I only meant they don't need to find clean clothes for me. If you send someone to the folly, I have a change of clothes there."

She looked at him again. He had surprised her yet again. "In my folly? But why?"

He sighed. "It's a long story, Hannah."

They had reached her sitting room, and she ushered him inside. After giving the orders to go fetch his clothing and prepare a bath, she closed the door behind them. The baby had fallen asleep in her arms, happily sucking his own fingers. She sat but did not set the baby down. She needed the reassurance of his warm body against hers. Of the soft, pliant weight in her arms.

"Have a seat, please. Tell me."

He did as she bade him, but a few moments passed before he spoke. "I've been living in your folly for the past month."

"What? You've been here, so close to us, all this time? And you never told me?"

"I knew you didn't want me here. I wanted to respect your wishes and go away. But I couldn't. I felt our child was in danger, and I needed to stay near in order to protect him. To protect you both. My fears proved right tonight."

"I see..." Shock and disbelief washed over her, rendering her speechless. All these days and nights when she had missed him so much, it was an actual ache in her chest. He had been right here. "But wait, how did you get into the house? How did you know Blackwell had broken in? Nobody saw him get in. Not even the guards."

"I didn't know he had broken into the house, either. My guess is he did it the same way I've been doing it. Through the secret tunnels. I've been sneaking into the nursery every night for the past month. After you put the baby to bed and the nurse goes to sleep, I sit with him and keep him company throughout the night, until the nurse comes back for him in the morning. Then I go back to the folly and sleep a few hours."

"Good heavens, Gabriel! Why didn't you tell me? You've been sneaking in, living in those conditions—"

"I was quite comfortable, actually. I've fared far worse in some campaigns I waged in India."

"But still..."

At that moment a maid came in to announce a bath and a bedchamber had been prepared for Lord Brentworth, interrupting their conversation.

"If you'll excuse me. I would like to wash off this blood."

Gabriel stood and left without another word. Without trying to kiss her, without touching his son. She knew he was doing it because of the blood. But it felt like a rejection. Something in his gaze had extinguished.

For over a year now, he had been a constant source of warmth, comfort, and passion. Every time she had needed him, he had been there. His love, his strength, everything he was, he had put at her feet. Now it felt as if he was retreating, and she couldn't stand it.

She had taken his love and devotion for granted. When he had asked her to marry him, to legalize their love, to bring it out of the shadows, she had sent him away. Told him to wait. She had been a coward, and her cowardice had nearly cost them everything.

Hannah looked down at her son, peacefully sleeping in her arms, and broke down in uncontrollable sobs. She had almost lost her baby tonight. If it hadn't been for Gabriel, if he had listened to her and gone away, their beloved son would have died.

How could he ever forgive her for being so stupid when she could never forgive herself?