CHAPTER 10

SUNRISE WAS BUT A PALE glow over the tops of the trees when Hannah hurried to the meeting place. She knew he had not left the house yet, for the horse he had used yesterday was still in the stables. Good. She hoped to make it to the folly before him. That way, she would have time to prepare for his arrival. She wore no drawers and had brought a little vial of massage oil in the pocket of her habit.

The sun was breaking through the horizon, painting the landscape in shades of pink, when she got to the folly and unlocked the door. Inside, she started the fire that was laid out in the fireplace. The space wasn't big, but it was comfortably furnished as a place to rest and relax. She had a bookcase full of her favorite books, a desk in which to write letters or poems if the mood struck her, a chaise by the window, and against the opposite wall, a daybed covered with a soft coverlet and piled with cushions. It was the perfect place for their intended activities.

She unstoppered the vial, rubbed some oil on her genitals and got into the daybed with her habit still on. Then, once under the covers, she hiked her skirts up to her knees, to give him better access. Perfect. Now all she had to do was wait for him to arrive. He would find her ready, and her industriousness in facilitating the act would please him. It would prove to him she was willing and had no qualms about this.

Now if only he would hurry and arrive already, she would be grateful. The waiting was more nerve-wracking than the preparation part, and she didn't want to have the opportunity to work herself into a tizzy. She didn't have to wait long, though. Within five minutes, she heard the hoofbeats of his horse approaching, and then a knock on the door.

"Come in," she answered, and soon his figure was filling the doorway.

He looked a bit surprised to find her already in the bed. His gaze roamed the room, taking in the furnishings and the fireplace before returning to her with a somewhat bemused expression.

"This is quite the cozy place you have here," he said, striding into the room after closing and locking the door behind him. He knelt by the fireplace and added another log to the fire.

"Yes, I designed it to be my little refuge. I always come here alone, to read or relax. To escape the duties of being a duchess for a bit."

He looked at her with affectionate approval. "Thank you for sharing your special place with me."

The way he said it made her think of another special place she planned to share with him soon, and her cheeks grew a little warm, either from embarrassment or excitement, she wasn't sure. She wished he would just hurry to come to bed and get on with it already.

"Are you going to come to bed now?" The words rushed out of her, and she bit her lip in embarrassment.

He looked at her with an inscrutable expression. "I get the impression you have everything planned. But I must confess, I'm at a loss as to how you wish me to proceed. I feel like an actor who walked in on a play and doesn't know his lines."

Her eyes skittered away at that, and she stammered, "I thought you would... That is, I thought you would know how to go about it. Haven't you...? Oh, drat. I don't know how to say it. You must know my meaning."

His eyebrows rose during her little speech, and a sudden burst of laughter escaped him. "I certainly have , Hannah. And I normally know how to proceed when making love to a woman. But I must confess your setup has me a little baffled. If I'm not mistaken, you are in bed, fully dressed and covered to your chin. The position doesn't strike me as inviting."

"Oh! But it is supposed to be. I have prepared myself to receive you. You will find me welcoming."

He came closer and sat on the edge of the bed. Still not touching her. "Please, pray tell me how you have prepared yourself to receive me, as you put it."

Her cheeks were burning now, so she sat up. Her mouth opened and closed, looking for words, but couldn't find anything in her vocabulary that could express what she wanted to say. "You are being extremely contrary, my lord. If you had been more... proactive, you might have found out by now."

He took one of her hands, which was fisted about the coverlet, and caressed it slowly. "Forgive me, sweetheart. I didn't mean to embarrass you. It is just that you seem so tense. You clutch that coverlet as if it were armor protecting you from certain death."

She made a conscious effort to unclench her hands and place them relaxed over her lap. "There, I'm not tense. Just a little nervous, but that will pass once we get on with the activities."

He brushed his thumb against her lips and leaned down to kiss her. So tender, so good... No. She turned her face after the briefest of kisses.

"There's no need to dilly dally. Truly. I am ready for the act."

"You keep saying you are ready, as if you expect me to just mount you and start rutting. But it doesn't work that way. Maybe I'm not ready."

"Oh." That was an unexpected development. And it presented a new challenge. "Do you need more time? Will you require my help? I didn't think... That is, you are a young man. I thought you would be ready without needing extra help."

He chuckled a little at that and shook his head. His eyes would be mocking if it weren't for the tenderness in them. "Oh, Hannah. Your innocence is endearing. I don't require more help than the regular man, but a little encouragement is always appreciated."

"I see."

What to do? Did she dare... touch him? What a ninny she was! Of course, she would have to touch him. She squared her shoulders and reached out a hand towards his crotch, but he caught it before it could reach its destination.

"Wait," he said with a lopsided smile. "Why don't you tell me exactly what you have in mind? And speak frankly, please. No shyness between us."

She looked down and started pleating the coverlet with her other hand. "I hoped to make the act as easy and fuss-free as possible. I didn't wear my drawers, so that nothing would be in the way. And I...applied oils to facilitate your passage. I thought it would please you that I had prepared. I thought it would make things more expedient."

Oh no. This didn't bode well. Now he was staring at her with a dumbfounded expression tinged with something darker she couldn't interpret. The silence stretched, making her uncomfortable, and she begged silently for him to say something.

When he spoke, his tone was tentative. "Why did you think that was necessary?"

"I told you...I wanted to make it as uncomplicated for you as possible. You are already doing me a big favor. I don't want to inconvenience you. And I wanted to show you I'm willing to do what's necessary," she prattled.

"Maybe I want it complicated. Maybe I want to inconvenience myself, as you so eloquently put it. Maybe I want to touch you and take my time stoking your desire. And trust me, darling, when I'm done with you, your oil won't be necessary. You will be dripping wet for me." Now his eyes flashed with thunderous emotions.

Her mouth gaped open in amazement while a wave of desire liquified her flesh. Oh yes, he could do that to her. It wouldn't even be difficult. He had the ability to arouse her with words alone. For a moment they stared at each other, and she knew he was aware of the desire shimmering in her. She wondered if he would act on it.

Instead, and to her disappointment, he stood up abruptly and started pacing the small space, as if the tension was affecting him, too. At last, he stopped by one of the windows, staring outside, his back to her.

"I know what the purpose of our coming together is. But that doesn't mean it has to be a mechanical affair, in which we only perform the necessary actions with no emotion or pleasure. Hell, I'm not even sure I could perform under those circumstances."

He turned to face her. "Tell me the truth. Why are you trying to strip the act of pleasure and closeness?"

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She could hardly tell him she was uncomfortable with this forbidden pleasure, or that she feared falling in love with him if she allowed a deeper involvement. What excuse could she give to appease him without giving herself away? She looked down, trying to think fast, and he mistook her gesture for shame.

"If you feel guilty about breaking your vows, and this is your way of atoning, please know that taking no pleasure in the act doesn't change the fact of what this is. We either accept the consequences and embrace it wholeheartedly, or not at all."

She latched on to the excuse. It wasn't even a lie. She did feel guilty about breaking her marriage vows, even if it was her own husband who had asked her to do so. But if she only did it out of duty, to provide him with the heir he needed, she could convince herself she was still a virtuous woman.

"I know you are right. But taking pleasure in the act seems even more wicked."

He came back and sat down next to her.

"I won't have it any other way."

"But—" He silenced her protest with a finger on her lips. It singed her. She wanted to open her mouth and lick it.

"No. Those are my terms. If you won't let yourself feel pleasure in my arms, I want nothing to do with this bargain."

"You can't renege! You already agreed."

"Oh? I don't remember signing any contracts."

Fury was good. It melted her embarrassment. She scrambled from the daybed, shaking her skirts as she stood to confront him. "You asked me to come here today. That is as good as agreeing. A gentleman wouldn't go back on his word."

"But this is not a gentlemanly transaction."

"You can't change the terms of the bargain," she gritted through clenched teeth.

"We are still negotiating the terms. And let me make it clear, Duchess, your pleasure is non-negotiable to me."

"But why?" It came out as something between a pleading whine and a frustrated growl.

"No woman has ever suffered my attentions in bed, and you won't be the first. As l told you before, I don't want a martyr. I want an equal partner, willing to give and receive pleasure."

"Is this about your male ego? You need to have women melting at your feet in order to stoke your vanity?"

He smiled a little. "Not women , Duchess. Only one woman will do. You."

"You are toying with me," she accused.

His twisted half smile was sinful. "I haven't even started toying with you. When I'm through, you will beg me for more."

Oh, he was wicked. "I don't want to be seduced."

"Why not? Do you dislike me? Is there something about my person that repels you?"

"It is not that, and you know it! We are talking in circles. You are not my husband. I shouldn't have feelings for you."

"No, I'm not your husband." His eyes pierced her with an emotion she couldn't decipher. "But if this mad scheme works, I'll be the father of your child."

She sucked in a breath. How could she have ever thought this could be simple? Maybe they were getting in over their heads. This plan would affect many people's lives for years to come. It would be her eternal burden. This was a bad idea.

He approached her. Taking her hand, he deposited a kiss on the back of it. Very proper. As if they were at a ball. "I will tell you what. We don't need to do anything right away, or ever, if you don't feel comfortable."

"But—" She tried to protest, but he interrupted her.

"No. Despite all your preparations, you are not ready. I want you to trust me. To feel comfortable with me. Comfortable enough to give all of yourself to me. Without reservations or fears. I will have all of you or nothing at all."

Looking into his eyes, she realized the finality of it. He was serious. He would have it his way or not at all.

"We need to spend time together doing everyday stuff. We need to talk and get to know each other better. In short, I need to woo you, Duchess." He gave her a devastatingly wicked smile full of promise and sensuality. "I'm quite looking forward to it."

Oh no. Her plan had backfired. This was a disaster. Now he intended to woo her. He wanted to make her fall for him. Maybe his pride demanded it. Of course. He wouldn't want to be made to feel as if he was a stud. To her horror, tears filled her eyes. She had to get out of here...

"I have to go. I'm sorry. Maybe this bargain was not a good idea. Forgive me for being foolish..." Her voice trailed off in a sob as she turned and darted towards the door.

He reached the door and planted a hand on it before she could escape. His large body caged her. Not touching, but she could feel the warmth emanating from him all along her back. She should have felt alarm. Yet all she felt was cherished, protected.

"No, sweetheart. You are not foolish." His breath tickled the hairs on her nape, sending shivers throughout her body. "I was the fool, for trying to rush things. Please forgive me."

His tender words on top of the desire he aroused with so little effort destroyed what was left of her self-control. "It's quite all right. Let me go, please." Her tone was that of a duchess, despite her tears.

"I haven't changed my mind about our bargain. I still desire you, and I will accept the duke's proposal," he whispered in her ear, ignoring her request. To her infinite shame, she leaned back against him, melting into his warmth. "I understand now that there's some wisdom in waiting a bit. It is my hope that we may come to know each other better. Develop a friendship of sorts. Shall we work on that?"

She was doomed. This was precisely the type of deeper connection she had to avoid in order to protect her heart. And yet she couldn't resist it. The earl's proposition appealed to something deeper in her. If she were wise, she would call off this entire scheme. She was going to pay dearly for this moment of weakness. But right now, while his body surrounded her, nothing else mattered.

She nodded her agreement.