Chapter 10

Sebastian felt his heart racing as he stalked the grand corridors of his home, setting a firm pace as if he were trying to outrun his beating heart. Behind, he heard the scampered footsteps of Virtue as she struggled to keep up, and where he knew he should have slowed and checked that she was nearby and had not lost him, he was so nervous with what he was about to do, a part of him almost hoped she did.

He had spent the entire morning secretly watching his wife. That was what had kept him so busy. Yearning to speak to her, not sure what he should say or how to say it, it had taken him all day to come up with this idea, and then a further hour or so to put it into action.

How much simpler things would be if he could find it within himself to dislike her. If she were just another uninspiring, insipid lady of the ton, perhaps he could manage his feelings more easily. But no, he had spent a restless night replaying their every interaction, wincing at his own harshness, yet feeling a surge of warmth every time he recalled her hopeful smile and that spirited look in her eyes.

And then there were his less-than-honorable thoughts... Beyond her captivating face lay a figure that ensnared his senses completely—the curves of her body haunted him, from her hips to her flushed skin and heaving breasts. Despite her delicate frame, there was an undeniable allure in her curves, more than enough for him to grab and hold on to and ravish… if she would so let him. Although after last night, he couldn't imagine that she would.

It was only one night, he reminded himself—a single moment of misstep. Plenty of time to redirect and prove to her, and himself for that matter, that he was more than he appeared.

"Oh, I heard from your maid you wished for an import of some exotic Spanish tea. Just to remind you, if you ever need anything during your stay here at Greystone, all you need do is ask," he spoke over his shoulder as he walked, his voice deep and resonant, rolling behind him down the corridor in a gentle rumble. It was only after he spoke the words into the air that he realized how they might be construed. He cringed inwardly, hoping she hadn't heard him. It was going to take him a while to realize the depth and finality of this marriage.

"What was that?" Virtue's voice, slightly breathless from trying to keep pace, floated up to him.

He glanced over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of her passing beneath the glow of a hanging lantern. The soft light bathed her porcelain skin in a sensual dark orange hue. "If you ever need anything, just ask," he corrected.

"Oh." She smiled. "Thank you. I will."

"I worry you might grow bored here." He picked up his pace as she tried to fall in beside him. It wasn't on purpose, but she was walking on his right, and he hated the idea of her speaking to his masked side.

"I am sure I can find ways to entertain myself."

"You were in the gardens earlier," he said without thinking.

"That is right..." There was an edge to her voice, almost amusement. "Did you happen to see me?"

"N—no," he stammered, keeping his eyes dead ahead. "I mean, yes. I mean, in passing." He cursed under his breath, for he had been watching her in the gardens all morning, uncertain now whether she had noticed him lurking. "A dreary sight—the gardens, I mean."

"I noticed," she giggled in reply. "The gardens, I mean."

Sebastian swallowed as he caught the double meaning. Or what he thought to be one. She had caught him watching her. And from the sounds of it, she didn't seem to mind...

"I—"

"It is this way." He cut her off and turned a corner, not trusting himself to say anything further.

He guided Virtue into a grand room that resembled a small hall more than a mere chamber. It soared nearly three stories high with balconies that encircled each level, reminiscent of a theater. The room lay shrouded in darkness, the heavy curtains drawn tight, sealing off any intrusion of light. Only the shadows of towering structures remained visible. It had been months since he last entered this space, and it showed. He swept toward the center of the room, his ears attuned to the hesitant footsteps of Virtue still following behind him.

"What is this place? Where are we? Should… should I be here?" she asked nervously as she glanced around the dimly lit expanse.

Sebastian's brows furrowed at that. "This…" his voice reverberated richly against the walls and the high ceiling of the hall, "this is your home now. And you are free to go anywhere, anytime you please." He began to stride across the room toward the massive curtains that draped from ceiling to floor. "But if I am correct in my assumption of you, I suspect this particular place will soon become your favorite." He reached the curtains but, before drawing them, turned around to look at his wife.

She stood nervously in the middle of the room. Too dark to make out her features, though she was clearly unsure, perhaps even a little afraid. The realization stung Sebastian, for it spoke to how she viewed him—that she might worry when the two were alone. For all his nerves and perceived awkwardness, she still viewed him as an unpredictable monster who might snap at any moment. Thus far into their marriage, he had shown her little else after all. He hoped that, with time, he might begin to mend her trust.

"I have been informed that you enjoy reading as a pastime," he began, watching her closely.

"I do."

"Well, if that is indeed the case, then you have quite the task ahead of you," he hinted, a playful note entering his voice.

"What do you..." She looked around, squinting through the darkness as if starting to understand where she was. "What do you mean?"

Sebastian allowed himself a small, knowing smile before he finally threw back the heavy drapes. Instantly, light flooded the room, bathing it in a cascade of brilliant sunlight. Virtue instinctively raised a hand to shield her eyes, a small gasp escaping her lips as she adjusted to the change. Slowly, her hand lowered, and she began to take in her surroundings. The entire time, Sebastian watched her, delighting in the way her initial shock transformed into awe, how her mouth hung open, how her brow creased as if she could not believe what she was seeing, and most importantly, how that pretty smile blossomed upon her lips.

"This is..." She spun around, her gaze sweeping across the now-revealed contents of the chamber. "This is impossible."

"You like it, I take?"

"Like it?" She turned back to face him, her eyes alight with excitement, and that smile—he had thought his heart had raced before, but the sight of her joy sent it hammering against his chest like never before. "I love it!"

The chamber was a library. Except, not just any library. A great library, for the size and breadth of it dictated such a name. Nearly three stories tall, walls made entirely of bookshelves stacked with hundreds, if not thousands of volumes, the sheer enormity of tomes available were such that Sebastian imagined one could spend a lifetime perusing its contents and not even scratch the surface of what was available. He could see too that Virtue recognized and appreciated this fact.

"How...?" She barely managed the word, her voice a whisper of wonder.

"When you scarcely venture beyond these walls, it is quite valuable to pick up a hobby to fill the hours," Sebastian said simply, struggling to keep his own expression composed.

She looked at him, frowning at the comment, half-smiling also. "Fill the hours, you say? That is an understatement, I think."

"Many of these volumes belonged to my great ancestors, once long ago," he continued to explain. "I have added a great number to the collection myself, but the vast majority were here long before I was born. Needless to say, I haven't nearly made a dent in them yet."

"I cannot imagine you could, even with our combined efforts," she giggled. A thought seemed to strike her just then, as her face lit up once more. "Oh! Do you happen to have Pamela by Samuel Richardson?"

"Indeed, it is a cornerstone of my personal collection," Sebastian replied with a nod.

Her interest piqued, Virtue suddenly added, "And Clarissa? I have longed to read it, but Lord Holmf—Papa could never seem to find a copy."

"That too, along with the elusive Sir Charles Grandison—which many once believed had been lost with time," Sebastian said, his smile widening.

Sebastian continued to watch her, noting the hesitation, her desire to dash to the nearest shelf and lift a book from its perch. All the while she looked every which way, fidgeting with her hands, unable to keep herself from smiling, and perhaps for the first time since hearing of this marriage, beginning to understand that it might not be the nightmare she must have assumed... or so he hoped. It was rather manipulative, he knew, to attempt to win her affections by giving her all that she might ever need, but, to put it quite frankly, he could not care less. It would take him a longer way than showing anything of his true self and horrifying her beyond belief, so this… this was the perfect substitute.

"Go on," Sebastian said gently. "What is mine is now yours. I would feel offended if you felt the need to ask permission."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "And who claimed I intended to?"

"I just thought—"

"I only jest," she beamed, and he returned it. "And thank you, Sebastian. This is..." She held her hands out. "This is more than I could have ever dreamed."

For a moment, the two stood there silently, grinning at one another. Virtue, clearly ecstatic with the gift he had given her. And Sebastian, thrilled with the response, for it went above and beyond the countless scenarios that played over and over in his head before he finally settled on bringing her here. But the moment stretched on, Virtue's smile remaining, Sebastian's confidence dwindling under its radiance. Despite his best efforts, his eyes wandered southwards, to her body—he caught his breath as he did so.

She was dressed in a simple half-dress; a muslin gown paired with a Spencer jacket. Only, the gown was cut daringly low, offering a glimpse of her décolletage, while the jacket, tailored to hug her curves, accentuated her form provocatively. It pushed up her breasts in a manner that seemed almost intentional, drawing the eye and stirring his imagination. Sebastian found it incredibly difficult to maintain his composure, each moment around her increasing the struggle to keep his hands to himself and his eyes from staring…

"I'll leave you then," he stammered as he forced his head down and stormed across the room. "I am glad you like it."

He was nearly at the door, his fists clenched, eager to escape the room before he lost control, when her voice halted him. "Wait!"

Sebastian froze but did not dare turn around. "Yes?" he responded, his voice strained.

"Will you be..." She hesitated. "Will you be joining me for supper?"

He was glad that he had his back to her, for he did not want her to see the smile that spread across his face such that his mask became loose, and he was forced to reach up and hold it in place. It had worked, he realized. His plan, for all his worry, had truly worked.

He coughed. "Yes," he managed to say, back still turned toward her. "That would be acceptable." And then, not allowing her a chance to follow up, he made a swift exit, his steps quick as he rounded the corner into the corridor.

Once out of sight, Sebastian pressed his back against the cool wall, his chest heaving as he took in deep, steadying breaths. A mix of hope and fear coursed through him—hope because it felt as though they were turning a new leaf in their relationship, opening possibilities he hadn't dared to imagine. And fear, for he knew himself too well. If he joined her for supper tonight, there would be no room to hide, no opportunities to evade the intense, intimate presence of his wife.

It would be him and her alone. No distractions. Just conversation and thus infinite chances for things to go awry. And knowing himself the way he did, this version that she had seen today was not the true Sebastian. Like the mask he wore, there was another side of him, one he feared to show her, one he knew he could only keep hidden for so much longer.

Tonight's dinner would be pivotal. It would either cement their marriage and futures or put an abrupt end to them ever becoming anything more than two names on a signed sheet.

And there would be no in-between.