34

Sixteen Years Old

"WAITING IT OUT ISN'T going well." I sigh, leaning back against the park bench Milo and I are seated on. There's a bag of kettle corn between us to share. The town's yearly autumn carnival is in full swing, but I don't feel like going through the motions or riding any of the rides.

Milo sips his soda and shrugs. "I never said it would happen fast. I said it would happen eventually."

I groan. "I need to get over him already. There's no use in waiting around for someone who's not here for me. He never texts me anymore, especially not when he's with her. We used to hang out at least a little bit. It's like I'm not even in their friend group now."

Milo glances at me through the curtain of brown hair that's fallen in his eyes. "Sounds like a terrible friend."

I see Moriah and Atlas across the park, in line for the Ferris wheel. His arm is around her, holding her close. She whispers something in his ear. He kisses her.

I look down. Milo sighs, standing up. "Come on."

"Where?"

"I'm done watching you mope over a guy who isn't going to give you the time of day. Yeah, I do think they'll break up. But seriously, he could at least invest a little time in his friendship with you."

Milo reaches for my hand, pulling me from the bench. I look up into his gray eyes. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to enjoy the carnival. It only comes once a year."

I'm not entirely convinced, but Milo is determined. He pays for us to sit at a booth and shoot water guns at targets. Then we move on to a rock-climbing area.

Bit by bit, my thoughts drift away from Atlas and his absence.

Milo pulls me towards the Ferris wheel, and I stop. The line has moved, but Atlas and Moriah are now getting a turn.

"He's over there," I say, jerking my chin to where they're climbing into a car, giggling.

"So what?" Milo smirks. "Your life doesn't have to revolve around him anymore. Let's ride the Ferris wheel and see our beautiful town."

I let Milo lead me to the wheel, his fingers intertwined with mine. I notice he hasn't let go when we reach the boarding area. But I don't say anything. My racing heart forbids me from asking him why. Because in this moment, it feels good to have someone nearby. Someone whose skin is pressed against mine.

Someone I can feel is real.

We're given a seat, and Milo lets my hand go. Instead, he rests his arm around my shoulders. This gesture isn't new to me—he's done it a few times before—but there's something different about it this time.

Something that leaves butterflies in my stomach.

The wheel begins its spin, slow and steady. I hate heights, but this isn't the worst feeling in the world. Milo pulls me closer and says, "I know you hate being high up, but I think the view is worth it."

I glance at him. The fading sunlight is making him glow golden.

I'm starting to think maybe I've ignored what I could've had by looking at what I thought I wanted.

When the wheel goes down, slow, I reach my hand up to where Milo's is resting on my shoulder and hold onto it. His fingers intertwine with mine as though we've done this a million times before. And when it's time to get off, it feels suddenly cold as we separate and step out onto the platform.

We head off towards the exit, pushing our way through the other passengers, and suddenly he takes my hand again and makes me face him. "Ophelia, there's something I need to tell you."

In his eyes, I see fear. Something that isn't usual for him. I notice his eyes trailing down to my lips, then back to my eyes. I smile softly. "There's something I need to do first," I say.

"What is—" I don't let him finish his sentence before I kiss him. It's quick, and I'm shaking when I pull away.

His eyes are confused and I'm wondering if I misread the situation, if I'm going to lose the only friend I have left.

But then he grabs me by the waist, one hand holding my chin, and kisses me again, this one full of wanting.

I wrap my arms around his neck, and it feels right. When we finally pull away, he smiles. "I was going to say I can't leave here without getting funnel cake… but this was better."

"We can still get funnel cake if you share."

He kisses me again, quickly, and then pulls me towards the food carts. "Let's go."

THE PARK ISN'T PARTICULARLY busy this time of the morning, despite it being summer. I sit on the bench, watching a couple of joggers pass by.

Atlas walks up, taking a seat next to me.

"We need to talk," he says.

I nod. "I agree."

He's hesitant to speak, but I can tell whatever he wants to say is bothering him. He rubs his hands on his jeans, a sign of nervousness.

"Atlas," I begin. "If you're scared to say it…"

He shakes his head. "I saw you kiss Milo last night at the festival."

That's what this is about? "Okay?"

"His reputation isn't great."

I roll my eyes. "I appreciate your concern, but I can take care of myself. He's really nice to me. And he's been there for me when you haven't." There. I've said it.

Atlas sighs. "I've messed up. You're my best friend and I've neglected you. And… Moriah told me you used to have a crush on me. You stopped talking to her because I chose her."

The accusations catch me off guard. Not only did Moriah tell him about my feelings—something that wasn't hers to share—but she lied about me. "Atlas… I never stopped talking to either of you. I've tried. But neither of you ever wants to hang out with me anymore. She stopped responding to my texts altogether. And you cancel plans anytime you actually make any with me. I never cut either of you off."

"I know I've canceled plans a lot lately. I feel terrible about that. But Moriah said—"

"Moriah says a lot of things that aren't true," I snap. "She's not honest and she isn't kind. At least not to me. I never stopped talking to her. She stopped talking to me first. I've sent so many unanswered texts. I stopped when I realized she was done trying to talk to me."

Atlas looks hesitant to believe me. I get up from the bench, looking at him. "And yes, Atlas. I did have a crush on you. Moriah knew that before she ever dated you. She chose to cross that line, and I still chose to be friends with both of you. I don't care about that now because I'm happy with Milo. But that's the kind of person Moriah is. Whether you want to believe me or not is up to you."

I don't stay long enough to find out if he does. I turn and leave, walking away from Atlas.

Leaving a piece of my heart cracked and broken.

I shake my head as hot tears burn my eyes. I have Milo. He came into my life with perfect timing.

Maybe he's all I need for now.

I expect Atlas to follow behind me. To stop me from walking away.

A part of me hopes he'll be behind me when I turn and look. But he's gone from the bench and I see him walking towards the parking lot, to his old truck.

This isn't over. I know it isn't over.