13

Fourteen Years Old

LUNCH HAS BECOME MY least favorite time of the day. It wasn't so bad when I knew I'd have time with Atlas, time to talk about classes and ask him for advice since he's been through freshman year before.

I didn't mind Moriah, either. She seems nice, and we bonded over the fact that we are both new to this school. She also loves reading. Even though we don't read the same books, there is still an understanding between readers, a connection based on that shared pleasure.

But now, lunch has become the Moriah and Atlas show. They sit next to each other, giggling and talking about things that happened in their classes.

Sometimes it feels like I'm invisible, even when I'm right in front of them.

I take a sip of my water and glance around the room. Everyone else looks like they have someone to talk to. Friendships have been forged already.

I'm left here, a third wheel to what appears to be something developing between Moriah and Atlas.

My heart clenches at the thought of it. Atlas and I have been friends for such a long time that the mild crush I have on him seems silly. I know it will lead to nothing. We're best friends and that is how it should be.

But every time Moriah touches his arm or his shoulder, or bites her bottom lip while listening to him talk, I want to flip the table. I want to stand up and demand they stop doing this in front of me.

It would be easier if I could hate Moriah, but she's too nice to hate. She's never been rude to me. Even when Atlas isn't around and it's just the two of us. She's exactly what I would've hoped for in a female best friend.

Yet she's stealing my best friend, my crush, right in front of my eyes.

There are only ten more minutes of lunch, but I can't take it anymore. I need to breathe.

I rise from the table, taking my tray over to the trash can and dumping my half-eaten lunch. I make my way to the nearest bathroom, hoping to hide in a stall so I can let out my tears.

My breath is shaky when I walk in, but there are other people in the bathroom, meaning I can't cry in peace.

I hate it here.

I walk over to one of the sinks and splash my face with water.

"You okay?" one of the girls I recognize from class asks me.

I nod. "Yeah, just feeling a little overheated."

Eventually I'm alone in the bathroom, but I only have two more minutes before the bell rings. I might as well get my stuff from my locker and get to class early.

Just as I finish drying my face, Moriah enters the bathroom.

"Ophelia, I've been looking for you. Have my texts not come through?"

I plaster a fake smile on and say, "Sorry, I guess my phone is on silent. I didn't realize. I'm about to head to class."

"I know something is wrong. You don't usually leave lunch without saying anything."

I clear my throat, willing the tears and the sobs to stay away. "I'm just tired."

"I know there's more to it. You looked sad at lunch."

So she was paying attention, but not enough to include me in their conversation. "Oh, it's nothing."

"I realized that I didn't talk much to you and neither did Atlas. Were you feeling left out? I'm sorry."

Why is she so perceptive? I feel the tears threatening again but I bite them back. I just want to get out of this bathroom, away from everyone. "No, no, you guys have a lot in common. It's all good."

"You'd tell me if I was overstepping in your friendship, right?" she asks, her eyes scanning mine.

She makes it impossible to hate her with how kind she is. Yet there's something nagging at me not to trust her.

"Of course. How would you be overstepping? We're all friends."

"Well, you've known Atlas for a long time. I would assume that maybe there's a little… more than friendship between you. And I realized that maybe I am overstepping."

I cannot have this conversation with her. I refuse to. "Atlas and I are strictly friends. The three of us are friends."

The bell rings, and I am grateful for my excuse to leave. "I need to get to class, but I appreciate you checking on me. I'm okay. Really." I brush past her and hurry down the hall.

I know she doesn't believe me, but I will not reveal how I feel about Atlas to someone I don't know well enough. She's nice right now, but there's something else I don't quite understand lurking beneath the surface.

Trusting people isn't something I'm good at. Not with how my life has been. But trusting Moriah feels like a huge mistake I'm not willing to make.