21. John

CHAPTER 21

JOHN

What the fuck was I going to do with him? He drove me goddamn crazy, and I wanted to fuck some sense into him. Tie him to the bed and rail his ass until he got it through his fucking head that he was not alone in all of this.

I'd never walked away from a fight before, but I needed a minute to get my head on straight. For the life of me, I couldn't understand why he'd ever think he was alone in this.

But as I ran my hands through my hair and paced outside the condo, the answer became pretty clear. Brent had to experience unconditional love and trust to know what they felt like. He needed to know what it was like to have someone who got you, warts and all, and wanted both the light and dark side that came with the good and the bad. He needed to know that person was me because his fucking parents had all but destroyed that for him.

Standing out here while he was dealing with all that inside was not conveying the message I was sending. So as I turned to go back inside, I came face to face with him and Daredevil on the stairs.

Daredevil glanced over at his friend. "Didn't have to go far to find him."

Brent shoved him in the shoulder. "Go find your own husband."

"Oh I will, but right now I have to take care of this," he said, raising the bag. "Phantom can get started on processing it for prints and all that high-tech stuff he does."

"Good," I replied. "I've got him."

Dare clapped me on the shoulder as I stood toe to toe and eye to eye with Brent. "Good man. And congratulations I guess. You've got your work cut out for you keeping this one in line."

Brent shot him the bird, making Dare laugh.

"We'll be in touch. Keep your cell handy."

We stood in silence, just taking inventory of each other. I wanted to reach out and shake him, but at the same time, I wanted to feel him in my arms more. I wanted to protect him from all the horrible things that could hurt him. I just wanted him.

Reaching out, I pulled him to my chest. I deeply inhaled the scent of his body wash and cologne, giving me a temporary sense of peace. I knew this shit was far from over, but transferring my warmth and love to him this way was what I needed. And he'd just have to deal with it.

But the way he was holding on to me gave me hope things might be okay.

I ran my right hand over the back of his head and clutched him to me. "I'm sorry for how I handled things, but I'm still mad as hell at you," I whispered into his hair.

He chuckled, just like I thought he would. "I know, John. But you need to understand, I couldn't put my team in danger. They have people counting on them."

I pulled back enough to glare at him. "And you don't? I'm not sorry I busted your balls for hiding that shit, and I am highly distressed that you felt like you had to lie to me about it."

"I didn't exactly lie about anything! I just chose not to share some information about how the door got knicked up. I'm trained to keep things confidential."

"Not from me!" I was gonna lose my shit here in the foyer, and I sure didn't need the neighbors calling the cops. Although that might get his attention at how serious this was.

"I fucking love you, you idiot. I'm aware that you have very little experience with unconditional love, but all I want from you is a chance to make this work. I can see and feel the way you feel about me every time I touch you, but goddamn it Brent, if someone were to hurt you because you didn't tell me…"

I balled my fist and brought it to my mouth. Looking away, I had to get myself together before I went full Nicholas Sparks on his ass. He didn't get it. But there was something else he might get.

I ran my fingers over his shoulder where his skeleton frog tattoo sat. I had one myself in memory of the teammates we'd lost.

"You and I have been in dangerous situations where we didn't know if we'd come back home. It's part of the job. And we know what it feels like to lose a teammate. But I've never experienced the fear of losing someone I love the way I love you."

Brent cupped my face, but let me finish.

"This situation is not just about you," I said. "This is also about me. It's about all of us, but especially us as a couple. You cannot continue to push me away and expect me not to fight back, because I will do whatever it takes to prove myself to you."

He hugged me tightly and kissed the side of my face before pulling away. "I hear what you're saying, and I understand I probably should have let them know. But that fierce protector in you is also in me. If I could have taken that blast for Nate, I would have."

I curled my lips in and let out a heavy sigh. While I understood where he was coming from, this was a completely different situation.

"John," he said, cupping me around the neck. "I'm trying really hard not to fall in love with you. But I'm failing miserably."

Lowering my forehead to his, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax for a minute. "Good to know."

"And John, I'll try not to shut you out, but it's gonna take me some time. Not because I don't want to trust you, but because I need to learn how again."

I took his face in my hands and peered into his eyes. He showed me his sincerity and passion, and I could see my love reflected back at me. "I love you, and I need you to get used to hearing that."

The look that came over his face alerted me that our serious conversation was over. "Are you one of those lovey-dovey people, John?"

I groaned and pulled him off the step. "Shut up. And yes, I am. So get the fuck used to it."

"I can definitely get used to fucking."

I ran my hand over my face and tried to hide my smile. "God, why do I like you so much?"

He laughed like a lunatic. "You don't like me, John. You love me."

"You're an asshole," I said, tugging him toward the exterior door to the building.

"Where are we going?"

"GQ asked me to check on the training facility, and we need to go now before things blow up."

Brent stopped and looked at me. "What about the sauce?"

Fuck. He was right. "I'll go put the meat away while you get the car. I'll be right back."

"Okay," he said, turning for the parking lot.

Right as I reached the door to enter the building, my worst nightmare came to life before my eyes. Shots fired out, and I turned to see a car speeding down the street.

And Brent was on the ground in a pool of blood.