Chapter 6

Falkon

I lay with my sunbeam curled up next to me. I wasn't sure how long we had together, but I intended to make the most of it. The urge to claim her had been nearly overwhelming but knew that I had to stick to my vow. But gods, it was difficult. Just having her mouth on me had infused me with so much energy and life that I felt I could conquer the world. The nighttime bell rang in the distance, and she turned to me, looking sad. My stomach twisted. It was unbearable to see her anything other than blissfully happy.

"Our session is done now, Falkon."

"I know, sunbeam. But we will have more."

I hoped that was true, but I had no idea when my distraction would take place. When I might die. I looked at her. Golden hair draped around her face. She was worth any death. Even mine. She reluctantly got up and readjusted her clothing. I stretched my own downward dog, giving her a cheeky grin.

"Will you take me next time, Falkon? Properly?"

Her voice was almost shy. She twirled a long lock of hair around a finger as she gazed up at me hopefully. I sighed. I didn't want what we had to be tainted by lies. My deepest urge was to protect her. But perhaps in this case, lying would not be protection. It would just hurt her more in the long run.

"I cannot. For now."

"Oh. Are you worried you won't fit? I'm a bit worried about that."

I laughed.

"Oh no. Don't you worry, I would stretch you and it will take a bit of working, but I will fit. Fate made us for each other."

Her eyes widened and her mind obviously travelled off to imagining what I had just described for a moment before she refocused.

"So why then?"

"You know there is a shadow demon here?"

Her face screwed up slightly with confusion.

"Yes. He floats around. We can't keep a collar on him, but they have him under control somehow. He is very invested in his therapy with Ella by the sounds of it."

"I'm sure he is," I said with a smirk.

Lyla's face twitched as realisation dawned.

"Oh! Oh really? Sweet little Ella? And a shadow demon?"

"I do not know her to comment. But I know he can see the future."

Her face turned serious.

"Oh?"

She said it hesitantly, as though she didn't really want to hear any more.

"My future is uncertain. With regards to… well, living."

Her face crumpled, and I thought it might break me. I scooped her up against me, desperate to soothe her. My chest ached at her pain.

"When?"

"Soon, I think. But I intend to live. I'll fight the reaper himself if I need to, to stay with you."

Sobs erupted from my small mate. I could feel her heart breaking and it was taking mine with it.

"And that is why I cannot claim you. Because it would cement our bond. And you wouldn't be as free to move on and find love elsewhere. Afterwards."

She pushed away from me suddenly, her face contorted with anger.

"You don't get to decide that for me."

"My Sunbeam…."

"No! Absolutely not. We are mates. Do you understand what that means? Really understand?"

I paused. She was furious with me. I hadn't expected this at all. Before I could organise my thoughts into words, she continued raging. The full force of her personality was directed at me now. It was so intense I wanted to step back, and I hadn't stepped back from anyone in a confrontation. Ever.

"It means we are a team. We make decisions together. We work best together. I might have enjoyed certain dominating things in the heat of the moment, and I may well enjoy them again. But here, now in the cold light of day, with matters of the heart, we are equals."

"I see. I understand."

"Do you?"

I did, but anger didn't just turn off like a tap. I understood that too. There was no point trying to calm her down. It would be a disservice to her right to feel freely. The anger would ebb naturally in its own time.

"My primary drive is to protect you. To cherish you. To make you happy. I thought I was making the best decision to achieve those things. I… I just can't bear the thought of you living a life without love and companionship."

"And I can't bear the thought of never knowing what it feels like to be fully bonded with you. To always wonder what that would have been like. You are my fated mate. I only get one chance to feel that and it's with you. If you die…."

She choked up for a moment, and I let her take her time to regain her composure. It was hard not to scoop her up and soothe her again. But I could see she needed to say this.

"Then I'd rather have experienced that and lost it than never have felt it at all."

Her eyes met mine, and we lost ourselves in each other for a long moment.

"I understand and accept that, my dearest Sunbeam. I apologise."

She gave her body a wiggle, as though shaking off the last of her anger.

"Good. And what is your opinion on the matter after hearing mine?"

Her eyes still glistened with tears. It was like a physical blow. I felt like a wretch. I never wanted to cause her pain like this. But her ferocity just made me even more attracted to her.

"My opinion," I stepped towards her and moved to her ear to whisper in it.

"Is that I am going to fill you like you have never been filled up before. And then I will fuck you into oblivion, giving you so much pleasure that you don't know who you are, or which way is up anymore. The gods themselves will envy the love that we make."

She shivered and let out a tremulous breath. I moved away and met her eyes.

"But until then, you are just going to have to imagine it, Sunbeam."

Her mouth drifted open, but no words came out. Her eyes wandered down to my lips. I had accepted her argument, but that didn't mean I couldn't torture her a little bit before giving her what she wanted. I only hoped we got a next time before everything went to hell.