Chapter Sixteen

Madison

T he instant Callum’s lips touched mine, a fierce battle erupted as my mind went to war with my body.

Every ounce of logic and emotion I possessed screamed at me to push him back, to tear away from the heat of his kiss as it teetered on the edge of deepening into something more.

My body, on the other hand, fought tooth and nail, bending my spine backward, pushing my chest up into him as my lips tingled from the warmth and electricity pouring over me.

Strong but soft fingers cupped my cheek and then the back of my head, holding me there, taking control of the situation as my body went berserk, begging for more, begging for the moment to last into eternity.

Blood pounded in my head as my heart raced, finding its way between my legs almost immediately.

It was far too quick. Too fast. I wasn’t ready.

Ready? I’m not interested! He kidnapped me. I should hate him!

So, why wasn’t I pulling away? Why were my nipples growing hard and my face flushing with heat as our heads moved together, locking lips freshly again? There was no stiffness, no reservation, as my mouth opened, lips parting to allow his tongue to caress mine.

I wanted him. Right then and there. So badly did my body scream out to him. I started to lie back on the roof floor, eager to give it all up to him.

Either Callum didn’t understand, or he was restraining himself because his fingers gripped my head more tightly, holding me upright—but still pressed against him for an eternity of seconds, each one seared into my brain forever.

I should’ve been the one to end it. To recover my sanity and push him away or slap him for his audacity, but that wasn’t how it went. I wasn’t the one to stop it.

Callum was. He pulled back, locking eyes with me. Something passed between us at that moment. An acknowledgment of the things that lurked beneath the surface between us. Desires that were unspoken and unable to be acted upon.

What made little sense to me was why he was the one to stop.

The answer lurked in the depths of his eyes, the darkness I could only barely glimpse a shadow of yet knew was there. As he turned away to inspect the alley below, I saw part of it. The internalized anger and near-loathing that he thought he hid away from the world.

It was already berating him for what he’d done.

For my part, I bent over, one hand resting on the tiled roof of the stone building, breathing deeply to recover myself. The process took longer than I was proud to admit. Callum had truly gotten under my skin and shown me things I didn’t want to know about myself. About what I wanted.

My mind flashed back to what Laura had told me in the palace halls days before.

If I’ve learned one thing about dragons, it’s that things work differently with them. Especially when it comes to women and love and mating.

Love. Mating.

I scoffed at the concept. Loving Callum? Nonsense. He was hot and dreamy, and the way he’d simply taken that kiss from me was kind of hot in a bad-boy sort of way. But I didn’t love him. I couldn’t love him.

He was too broken.

I was too broken. What even was love?

“We’re clear,” Callum whispered. “But we shouldn’t stay. He could be anywhere nearby.”

“What was that?” I asked, finally finding my voice.

“What was what?”

I pointed at him, then to myself, and back again. “ That .”

“It was a kiss.”

I longed to smack him but settled instead for a hard glare. “I know that , wise-ass. I’ve been kissed before. I meant, why did you do that?”

Callum shrugged. “I needed you to be quiet until Cleye moved on.”

“Cleye. Your ex-brother-in-law. Who you refused to just talk to. Instead, you had to run and hide from him. Then you kissed me because apparently that was preferential to just dealing with him.”

A smile spread across his face, turning it from solemn to boyishly charming. I did my best to shove down the flutter in my stomach.

“Surprisingly, yes, it was,” he admitted.

I gaped. “Surprisingly? You thought I would be a bad kisser?”

He shook his head. “I just figured I would get slapped for it. I didn’t expect you to respond.”

“I did not respond,” I said. “I was frozen in shock. Those are two separate things.”

Callum’s smile grew broader. “You kissed me back. I know it. You know it. Keep denying it if you want, but you had just as much fun as I did. Now, grab on.”

I shook my head, backing away. “I think I’m done being near you for the future. I’m not grabbing onto anything.”

“Not how I intended for that to come across. What I meant was, let me put a hand around your waist so I can fly us out of here and back to the palace. It’s the easiest and fastest.”

The frown couldn’t be stopped.

“What?” Callum asked. “I’m not fully shifting for you to climb on my back. Not here. Come on. It’s perfectly fine.”

“Just go down there and see what he wants,” I said.

“See what he wants?” The big dragon shook his head, hair tossing around. “Madison, it’s not like this is something new. I’ve spent two years ‘seeing what he wants,’ and every time, it’s the same thing. It turns to angry ranting and blaming me for the death of his sister. Every. Time.”

“I see.”

I must not have sounded convinced.

“Do you?” he pressed, taking a step closer. “Because I’ve spent every day these past two years blaming myself as well. Living with the guilt. What I don’t need is someone else yelling at me for it as well. I’m perfectly capable of doing so myself.”

He tried to come across as sarcastic, but it failed. I saw through him. Saw the hurt he tried to hide from the world. A pain that had been eating him from the inside. It had to be incredibly tough, putting on the face every time, a face that said he was “okay” and not hurting.

Dragons weren’t supposed to mourn death, I’d learned. They weren’t supposed to hold on to the memories of those who had passed. So, every day, Callum had to lie to the people around them. Lie to himself.

He was holding it all back, and that knowledge made me want to help him even more. To be there when he discovered who had murdered this woman. To help him find justice for her and, hopefully, some peace once it was all done.

“Let’s go to the palace,” I said softly, stepping up to him. “I trust you.”

“You … okay,” he said, sounding quite confused.

As his arm snaked around my waist, I wrapped my arms around his chest, holding on tight as we leaped into the sky, higher this time than before. The only thing between me and death was his arm.

It was nothing like the short trip on dragonback we’d taken to get to the city.

“You going to be okay?” he asked as I clung to him for dear life, willing myself not to look down and not to scream.

I flew helicopters for a living. Being in the air was nothing new. I was not afraid of heights, and I was a soldier.

So, I nodded wildly as the wind whipped my hair around into a tangled mess, extremely thankful I didn’t have the necessary control over my lungs to tell him I may have peed a drop or two. Some things were best kept to myself. Including the number of drops.

Because it wasn’t just two.