Chapter 23

Chapter23

Sol

Idon’t bother to go back to the lake to collect my pants. There’s no one to witness this angry trip through the forest back to the keep. We’re alone, me and my quivering bride. I can taste her fear on my tongue, and it makes me crazed. My instincts are still in the driver’s seat, demanding I mark her, protect her, breed her.

I should have known that chasing Briar would mean I’d lose control. There wasn’t a single thought in my head except catching her, biting off that damn pendant, and then fucking her until she admitted she was mine in every way that matters.

Two out of three feels like a hollow victory.

I should speak, should find the words to put her at ease. I have none. I want to promise her that if she’d told me to stop, I wouldn’t have snapped off that pendant and tossed it away. I want to tell her that I wouldn’t have fucked her without that protection if she hadn’t run from me a second time.

I want to…but I’m not certain it’s the truth.

For the first time in a long time, I wish my parents were still alive to give me advice. They had me late in life and passed from this world together in peace a few years ago. After over forty years with them, I thought they’d taught me everything I’d need. I made my peace with missing them, but that’s a normal part of moving into adulthood.

We dragons don’t live forever, after all.

But I don’t know what this is. I hardly recognize myself right now. My arms shake around Briar, and as I stride away from the trees toward the keep, I’m not certain if it’s to deposit her in our bedroom and get some distance…or to lock us in together until she stops withholding herself from me.

No. Goddess, no.

She chose what we just did, for better or worse. She might hate me for it once the endorphins wear off completely, but she’s too fair to blame me when it took both of us to get there. At least, I think she is.

Then again, I’m hardly thinking clearly at the moment.

“Sol.”

“No.” I shake my head and shove through the front door. “Not yet.”

Briar curls tighter against my chest. “Okay.”

We don’t see a soul on the trip to our bedroom. It’s just as well; I’m not certain what I’d do with this current mood riding me. I hate this. I don’t lose control. I definitely don’t misstep because of impulsiveness. And I sure as fuck wouldn’t knowingly do something to put Briar in danger.

Even from me.

Except that isn’t the truth, is it? Even as my surface thoughts say one thing, there’s a deep part of me that’s satisfied with the outcome of today. That loves the blended scents of our fucking. That’s soothed by the sight of my teeth marks on Briar’s skin.

I step into our bedroom and kick the door shut. “You will allow me to bathe and heal you.”

“Okay.” She sounds meeker than she ever has, a tremor in her voice that makes me want to hiss in rage. Except I can’t because I’m the one who put it there.

I close my eyes and strive to sound more normal. I’m only partially successful. “You have nothing to fear from me.”

“I know.” The tremor is still there, but she sounds certain. “Truly, I do.”

That certainty eases me enough that I’m able to walk into the bathroom and set her down. I keep one hand on her waist, ready to catch her if her knees buckle, but she manages to keep her feet. The tub is tempting, but we’re both so covered in dirt that the shower is the better option. I turn on the water with one hand and then, as soon as it’s warm, wash her.

There are already bruises darkening her skin in a number of places, and several of my teeth marks are still bleeding. But, by the time I finish, she’s not shaking anymore. I wash quickly, hating the way my hands shake. It’s not worry. I’m barely holding back the need to be inside her again.

This is so wrong.

I turn off the water and wrap Briar in the fluffy towel she confessed to loving in her second week here. She starts to protest that she can walk, but the words die as I scoop her into my arms again. I lay Briar on the bed and push her thighs wide. She watches me with an unreadable expression as I reach for the healing balm. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Yes, I do.” I can’t stop myself from watching her face as I scoop up some of the balm and press it into her. She looks like she wants to keep her eyes open, but as I concentrate on coating the inside of her pussy with the balm, she lets her head fall back. Her lips part in pleasure.

It would be so easy to keep this up. I know how to make her feel good. When we’re fucking, she’s not thinking.

It’s the wrong thing to do.

Reluctantly, I finish applying the balm and ease my fingers out of her. Now’s the time to have a conversation, to talk through what just happened, but I can’t shake the fear that doing so means losing her. She’s already made her thoughts on pregnancy with me clear. I had no right to remove that pendant, and we both know it. Another pendant will ensure she doesn’t get pregnant from this encounter. But only if I hurry.

I shove to my feet. “Rest. I’ll be back.”

“Sol—”

I don’t remain to hear whatever she’s about to say. I might deserve whatever recriminations she sends my way, but at least if I replace her pendant, there’s a chance of seeing this through. Of making it right.

I charge down the stairs and practically rip off my study door. The sheer force startles me, and I concentrate on slowing down, on not upending my desk to find the scroll I use to communicate with Azazel.

There’s no reason to panic. I haven’t lost her. She’s right upstairs, and in a very short time, I’ll have made this right and we can go back to how we have been.

My writing is horrid, but I manage to scrawl out my request.

There was an incident. I need another pendant. Immediately.

I stare at the scroll, waiting for the reply. It never takes long. I’m still not certain if Azazel himself does it or if he has someone on staff in charge of this kind of communication. It doesn’t matter.

There is no response.

The seconds tick by into minutes. What the fuck is keeping him? I pick up the quill to write a second message when a shadow falls over my desk.

“What are you doing, Sol?”

I jump and then curse myself for jumping. Briar has taken the time to wrap herself up in the blanket she seems to favor the most when I’m not readily available to keep her warm. Is that a sign she doesn’t want me to come to her?

I’m spiraling. I don’t know if I’ve ever spiraled before. No matter what trials arose, there has always been a logical solution. Even with Anika, my disappointment and heartache never overrode my ability to think. Right now, I’m not thinking. I’m panicking. I have to fix this, and I don’t know how to. “Go back to bed.”

“No, I don’t think I will.” She hitches the blanket higher around her shoulders and sinks into the chair across from me. “What’s going on? Why are you acting so strange?”

“I’m not.”

Her brows draw together. “That’s the second time you’ve lied to me today.” Her hand goes to her bare neck. “This is about the pendant, isn’t it? Because you ripped it off.”

“I’m sorry,” I grind out. “I shouldn’t have.”

If anything, she frowns harder. “I’m sorry, were you the only person participating in what we did?”

Shame makes me hunch my shoulders. “That’s not the point.” I had never been more aware of the differences between us than when I stalked her through the forest. It felt like predator and prey, and I enjoyed it far too much. We weren’t equals. “Ripping off your pendant and then fucking you was taking the game too far.”

“You did what?”

We both startle as Azazel himself appears. He fills up the doorway, his horns curving up to scrape against the mantle as he steps into the room. His dark gaze takes us in, and his brows slam down. “Explain yourself.”

“I—”

“Not you, Briar.” He doesn’t look away from me. “I want the dragon to explain why he’s apologizing for an incident removing your birth control and then fucking you.”

Apologizing to Briar is one thing. Putting what just happened out there for Azazel to sit in judgment is something else altogether. “That’s between us.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, my boy.” He takes another step forward, looming over the desk. “My contract says otherwise.”

Alarm bells peal through my head. Surely he doesn’t mean to… I push slowly to my feet. “If I violated the contract, you would have been waiting here for me when we arrived back at the keep. You would have known before showing up that it happened.”

He narrows his eyes. “The contract might not have pinged what happened as harm, but what I just heard does.”

He’s right and I hate that he’s right. That doesn’t mean I’m about to bend on this. Not when the stakes are so high. “We’re fine. Leave.”

“Briar.” His tone is significantly softer when speaking to her than it is with me. “Did you consent to have Sol’s children?”

She pales, her skin turning almost green. “What? No. I mean…” Her voice goes raspy. “We haven’t talked about it since our initial conversation.”

Azazel’s dark eyes glimmer red. “And during that conversation, you told him you…”

She goes even greener. “That I didn’t want children during this contract.”

“Wait—” I’m not sure what argument I have, but in the end, it makes no difference.

His eyes flare crimson. “I don’t know how one qualifies harm in this territory, but in mine, the definition clearly applies.” He looks around. “I’ll return to iron out the details shortly.”

Briar looks between us. “Wait, that’s not what I meant.”

“Don’t try to protect him now.” He stalks to her, two quick steps. I register his intent and dive for them, but it’s too late. Azazel grasps Briar’s shoulder and they blip out of existence, teleporting away from me.

Forever.

“No!”