Chapter 10

CHAPTER10

Everything looked the same.

Larkin didn’t understand how, not when his mother was dead and everything had turned into living misery. Once he’d left Jade, the sorrow had overwhelmed him, and he’d spent the entire journey home feeling as though his heart would break. It was because of his mother, he told himself, but he kept thinking of Jade, too.

How would Jade feel when he discovered Larkin had left him?

It was almost enough to make him turn back at times. His mother was dead; his brother could handle the kingdom, couldn’t he?

But people were maligning Elric’s name, and Larkin had to warn him. It simply wasn’t possible to turn his back on his people. He would forever remember his time with Jade, but it had to come to an end. There was no place for the dragon in his future…

He wept, sometimes, burying his face in his hands as the horse trodded along, oblivious to his inner turmoil. This shouldn’t have been so difficult. Jade had held him captive. Jade had ruined him for anyone else. Larkin had never been this interested in anyone before, male or female. It had never seemed worth the scandal or the trouble to risk sleeping with anyone and… and… degrading himself like that.

Nothing he’d done with Jade felt degrading though.

Larkin reached up, touching one of the jade earrings he wore, and his tears came faster, harder. The horse swiveled her head, slowing down, and Larkin patted her neck. “It’s all right,” he lied to her. It had to be fine. He had to get himself together. If even the horse he’d purchased could tell he was miserable, it would be that much more obvious.

By the time he reached the city gates, he was… numb. Not calm, not feeling better, but simply lacking the ability to feel anything. It was good, wasn’t it? He needed to look dignified.

“Prince Larkin!” one of the guards gasped.

Larkin recognized her, though he couldn’t for the life of him remember her name. “Greetings,” he said flatly. He winced at his own tone, forcing a little bit of regal flair into it as he went on, “Please send word to my brother, Prince Elric, that I have returned.”

She nodded to him, hesitating a moment like she wanted to say something, but thinking better of it. She started calling out orders to the men and women nearby, and Larkin watched as one of them galloped off on a horse in the direction of the palace.

“Would you like me to arrange for a carriage to return you home?” she asked.

Larkin was exhausted from the ride back from Vanea, and it would give him more time to gather himself. But at the same time… “No,” he said, shaking his head. “I’ll ride.”

“Very well, my prince,” she said, bowing to him.

He clucked his tongue at his mare, guiding her gently back to the main road, and began the ride to the palace.

He didn’t want to arrive.

He didn’t want to be there.

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, but he wiped them away. He wasn’t going to cry again. He couldn’t. He had to look dignified and in control.

After what seemed an eternity, he approached the palace. The guards were on high alert, but they were obviously expecting him. They brought him a mounting block, and he dismounted.

The first thing he noticed was that Elric wasn’t there to greet him. He frowned, a little disturbed by that. Shouldn’t his brother have been right there, ready to welcome him home?

Small doubts started to nag at him, but he did his best to ignore them. He didn’t want to think about these things, especially not with the pain of having just left Jade behind.

“Greetings, Prince Larkin,” one of Elric’s personal men-at-arms said, bowing to him. “His Highness, Prince Elric, awaits your presence. He would urgently like to speak to you, and he excuses the dust of your travel.”

Larkin would rather have bathed before seeing his brother, but at the same time, there was so much they needed to talk about.

He inclined his head to the man. “Lead on, then.”

The man-at-arms turned, leading him inside and to Elric’s personal rooms. He knocked politely, waiting for a call to enter before opening the door. He ushered Larkin inside, closing the door behind him, and Larkin took a deep breath before turning to face his brother.

Elric grabbed Larkin by the shoulders. “Is it really you? I… I had lost hope.” When Larkin nodded, Elric pulled him into a deep embrace. “I’m so glad to see you. You have no idea. First you, then Mother…”

So the news about Mother’s death was true. Larkin stepped away from Elric so he could see his brother more clearly.

“Please, tell me what happened while I was away. How did… How did Mother…?”

Elric sighed deeply. “I wish I knew. We found her dead in her own bed one morning. I suspect one of our enemies might have had something to do with it, but I have no proof. There was no trace of poison on her lips, and she looked peaceful. All I can do is carry on in her place and show whoever did it that I—we—will not be cowed.”

Larkin blinked back his tears. It was difficult, so difficult, not to break down. He’d loved his mother dearly, and they’d always shared a unique bond that it felt like nothing could get in the way of. And now she was gone, truly gone, and all of his hopes that it had been nothing but a rumor were gone.

“When… When is your coronation?” he asked, feeling a little dizzy. He was still clinging to the idea that their mother wasn’t gone, but he knew it was foolish.

He wished Jade was there, so much it positively ached, and he didn’t know how to handle all of the sorrow all at once. Maybe he shouldn’t have returned…

“In ten days. I wanted to do it right away, just to strengthen my position against our enemies, but unfortunately these things take time to plan, and I also needed to invite all our allies so they may witness it.” Elric’s demeanor changed as he spoke, losing the softness and changing to the hardened ruler. Larkin had seen glimpses of him like this in the past, and his heart had always ached for Elric.

This was why Elric was the crown prince, and not Larkin. He didn’t think he could put aside his own hurts so easily for the sake of the kingdom.

“Let me know how I can support you,” Larkin said to Elric. “I want everything to go well for you. I want… I want our kingdom to keep thriving.”

Elric smiled at him. “Thank you. But you must be exhausted yourself. Come, sit down, I want to know where you’ve been. Did you slay the wyvern?” Elric sat down on his large armchair, the one Larkin thought of as his brother’s “throne” in his private chambers.

Larkin’s own smile was strained in return. He couldn’t help but remember Jade’s insistence that his brother had had something to do with his rape, with the attack on his life, with the fact that he’d almost died… “Yes,” he lied. “It was no easy feat, but there are no wyverns in the mountains anymore.”

Maybe that was a bold statement, but he felt a little entitled to that.

Elric nodded. “Good, good. Those beasts are a plague on our lands. After my coronation, perhaps you can instruct our guard on how you did it, so they might slay any such creatures themselves. The kingdom will be better off without any of those large lizards stealing our livestock.”

Larkin nodded solemnly. Seeing his brother, hearing him, made it so much harder to believe Jade’s words. They were family, after all, and family didn’t betray each other that way. “I would be honored,” he promised. He wanted so badly to ask if Elric knew wyverns nested together, but that would show he’d learned something—and he didn’t want his brother to figure out how. He might have had to leave Jade behind, but that didn’t mean he wanted Jade to come to harm.

“I’m glad. Speaking of the coronation, though, I’ve invited a number of our allies, and I think quite a few of them are bringing their daughters. I’m intending to propose a marriage with King Eobard’s daughter, which will get us the alliance we need in the east. And we can find a bride for you, as well. Princess Carina, maybe, to get her brother to stop insinuating things…” Elric went on, detailing who else would be attending, what alliances they needed to be looking for.

Larkin was barely paying attention.

The words stopped registering when Elric mentioned a marriage. He didn’t want to get married. He knew it was his duty, and that was partially why he’d returned, but he still felt like he was betraying Jade. The earrings he wore were a sign of commitment—or they would’ve been, if he hadn’t immediately left. Jade had been so sure they’d spend a lifetime together, but Larkin had left him.

He should’ve been grieving his mother’s death, but that didn’t feel real yet. All he could do was mourn the loss of Jade in his life.

“Larkin? Are you even listening to me?” Elric sounded annoyed, and Larkin realized he must’ve been asked a question or something to betray his distraction.

He couldn’t help the guilty look from crossing his face. “I’m sorry, brother,” he said. “I was thinking.”

Elric sighed. “You must be tired. Go rest. But you can’t continue as you have in the past, ignoring the realities of rule. With Mother gone, we need to use every advantage we can get. Our situation here is stable for now, but we can’t rely on that forever. We need to ensure we have allies, and that any attempt at betrayal can be dealt with swiftly.”

Larkin blinked owlishly at him, confused. “Attempt at betrayal?” he asked. “What attempts at betrayal have there been? Have there been many?” How long had he been gone? It just didn’t sound right. No one had ever really attempted treason, though that had been under their mother’s reign.

“Larkin! I just told you that I’m not sure about the circumstances of Mother’s death. And when you’re in power, there is always somebody who covets that power.” Elric stood up from his throne to loom over Larkin. “This is why it’s good that I was born first. You’d have handed the keys to our kingdom over to the first person who asked.”

“I would not have!” Larkin protested. But he’d have found people to help him because he’d have needed them. He didn’t see anything wrong with delegating power to people who knew what they were doing when he so obviously didn’t, but that was something he kept to himself. As it was, he’d been tempted to abandon the duties he had been born for because of Jade.

He reached up to touch one of his earrings, tears blurring his vision until he got himself back under control.

Elric was made for ruling, though. He’d been born for it, trained for it, prepared for it, and now he’d take control of the kingdom. Larkin would do his duty because he’d returned to do just that. He’d abandoned Jade for his duty, and his duty meant being willing to do anything his brother asked.

He squirmed, uncomfortable with how Elric stood over him. It made him feel very small.

“Well, thinking wasn’t ever your strong suit,” Elric said with a small smile that made Larkin feel even worse. “I’ll handle everything. You just do what I tell you to. Now go rest—and take a bath. You stink of the road.” He patted Larkin’s shoulder affectionately.

Larkin slumped a little, but he nodded. He felt guilty and strange, and he wished Elric wouldn’t tease him quite like that. Maybe he was just being too sensitive.

But Jade had treated him like a treasure.

He missed Jade more than ever as he left his brother’s chambers to head for his own.