Chapter 20

“So, when do you plan on telling Cade that you’ve been sleeping with his best friend?”

“Tiff,” I whispered sharply down the phone, looking around campus as if anyone else was actually interested in this conversation. “Haven’t you been listening for the last thirty minutes?”

“I have, but honestly, I don’t have time for games these days. I’m either changing a diaper or dealing with a tantrum, so you need to get to the point.”

“Fine. We haven’t told Cade because we aren’t official yet.”

“But he took your V-card like a month ago?”

“Yes.”

“And you fooled around in a janitor’s closet a couple of days ago.”

“The equipment closet if you want to be nitpicky about it.”

“And he claims he wants to take you out again just to make sure you’re feeling each other? It sounds like you’ve felt a lot of each other already.”

We may have been on the phone, but I could hear my cousin’s disbelief loud and clear. I wasn’t expecting her to roll around on the floor and start dancing over the news about Dash and me, but I was expecting a lot more than this. Tiff couldn’t hide the bitterness, not that she tried very hard. She had guy issues—that much was for sure—but that sometimes clouded her judgment.

I wanted to say just that, but Ella shrieked so loudly that I had to pull the phone away from my ear. “Be right back,” Tiff said, and I rounded the corner, heading to the library while I waited for her.

“Okay,” she breathed out. “I’m here.”

“Um, who possessed Ella this morning? She’s normally a sweet little princess. I’ve never heard her shriek like that.”

Tiff sighed, and I could only imagine how she looked right now. Her hair was probably a mess, and I had no doubt that she hadn’t slept in days. My once fun-loving and vibrant cousin had been drained like a used battery because of her one-year-old, which made me feel awful for sharing my drama. Yes, finally getting my biggest crush to notice me was huge, but in the grand scheme of things, it didn’t really matter, and paled in comparison to her issues. But Tiff was always willing to listen because she said it made her feel like we were back in high school, and her life hadn’t changed as much.

“I have no idea. She’s just constantly shrieking. I’ve tried everything. The doctor says she’s probably teething, but it’s been months and there are no teeth coming in. How is that even possible?”

“I’m sorry. I know less about babies than I do football, and that’s nothing, so I think you’re asking the wrong person.” It sucked. I wanted to help her through this just like she’d been helping me, but I didn’t know how. Not when I was across the country and couldn’t just offer to take over for her at any point.

“Yeah,” she exhaled. “I’ll figure it out. I always do.”

“I’ll keep praying for you, cuz.”

“Thanks.” I felt shitty flaunting the fact that I was going to our dream school while she was stuck in Indiana attending a community college because her cousin from her dad’s side offered to pay for her accommodation.

I cringed when I heard another shriek but waited patiently for Tiff to calm her daughter again. I was the lucky one in all of this. I didn’t have to deal with sleepless nights and tantrum-filled days. Not to mention the shit her baby daddy was putting her through.

With my phone in one hand and a couple of books in the other, I continued walking to the library, patiently waiting for Tiff.

“Okay, I’m back again,” she said, sounding somewhat relieved.

“All good?”

“Yup, Baby Shark is back on. Now, tell me before Ella has another meltdown. If you’re not in a relationship with Dash, are you fudge bunnies or something?”

“Fudge bunnies?” I questioned but then shook my head, remembering the child in the room and that she meant fuck buddies. “No. Definitely not fudge bunnies.” Although I wouldn’t say no to another orgasm.

“You sure? Because what you’ve described sounds really casual, and you’re the least casual person I know. You pretty much saved yourself for him, and now you’re happy to just sit back and have spontaneous sex until he deems you worthy enough to tell your brother?”

“He’s my brother’s best friend. He wants to make sure that we’re in it for the long haul before he tells Cade and potentially screws up their relationship.”

“Don’t you think that by not telling him, you’re guaranteeing that outcome?”

I contemplated that for a minute.

“Look, I’m not trying to yuck your yum. I just want to remind you what happened last time Cade found out you were fooling around with his teammate in high school. What was that guy’s name again? Dirtbag Von Trash?”

“Henry, and that situation doesn’t count. Things were completely different. You know, I saw him the other day. He transferred here and apologized. Two years too late, but I think it helped.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Who knows, we could end up friends.”

“So, you’re just casual Maddie now? Guys can walk all over you, take what they want, and you don’t mind?”

“The two situations bear no resemblance. ”

“You sure? Because from here, they sound almost identical. Secret relationship. Brother’s teammate. I’m not trying to put a damper on things; I’m just being realistic.”

“I know. I get it, and that’s why I need you in my life. You’re my reality check, but Dash isn’t Henry.”

Tiff was quiet for a second. “Look, Mads, I get it. You like him, and you want to see the best in your situation, but I’m just offering my opinion as a casual observer. It sounds like you’ve agreed to be secret fudge bunnies, and I’m worried he’s going to drop you the minute you’ve had your fun, and you push to tell Cade. He’ll dump you, and he knows you won’t say anything because you’ll be too embarrassed to admit you made the same mistake.”

“No. That’s not what’s going to happen.”

I hated that was a potential scenario for us. I wasn’t the type of girl who had a fuck buddy. Yes, I liked to flirt, but that was because it was non-committal and fun. This thing with Dash wasn’t non-committal. In fact, it was probably the biggest commitment I was willing to make. He was a serious guy, and if things didn’t work out, I’d still have to see him because he would always be around Cade. That was why I was so desperate for him to see me kissing him in the equipment room for what it was. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t want him for the long-haul.

Slowing, I waited for the automatic library doors to open and strolled in. “We’re more than that,” I said, noticing a few heads turning, so I dropped my gaze to the floor and kept my mouth shut.

“You can tell me that all you want, but I think it’s Dash you’ve got to convince. If you really want to be with him for the long haul, then I’d suggest getting out of whatever situationship you’re in now because it might become the norm.”

Situationship?

I sighed because she had a point. I knew it when Dash suggested we try things out before telling Cade, but I went with it because I always assumed it was going to lead to a relationship. Dash hadn’t given me any reason to question his narrative, but the more I thought about it, and how na?ve I was last time, the more concerned I became.

A guy cleared his throat so loudly, he startled me. Standing right in front of me was Ralph Higgins, the head librarian, glaring at me like I stole his puppy. With his brow raised, he tipped his chin to my phone, and that was when I knew I was in trouble. Clearly, I was being too loud.

Swallowing, I said, “Umm, you know what, Tiff? I’ve got to go.”

“But wait, we aren’t done with this—”

I hung up before she could finish and flashed Ralph a flirty smile to try to stop his pressed lips and scowling brows.

“No cell phones in the library,” he said, unimpressed.

“Oh, yes. I’m so sorry about that. I only came in to return these.” I raised the books as though they were a good excuse to talk, but Ralph’s face remained the same. “I’m sorry. I’ll, uh, make sure I don’t do it again.” With folded arms, he narrowed his eyes as he turned away and muttered something inaudible.

“Sor-ry,” I sassed under my breath, knowing that he couldn’t hear me but feeling like a badass, anyway.

While returning the books, Dash’s name flashed on my phone, and I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to see what he had sent me.

Quickly, I pushed my books through the return slot, and looked for somewhere private. There was a little nook by the working desks, so I decided to quickly check my messages there.

Big Man: I’m back on campus in ten minutes. Where are you?

I bit my bottom lip, refraining from squealing because that would no doubt get me in trouble with Ralph again, but I couldn’t help but be a little excited. It wasn’t just the fact that Dash wanted to see me. It was that I was the first person he wanted to see when he got back from his three-day trip. Little old me.

Grinning, I pointed my phone to the stack of shelves and took a zoomed-in picture of one of the books. It was blurry and perfect, so I attached it to a message.

Madison: Can you guess?

Big Man: Don’t toy with me, woman.

Madison: But I like toying with you .

Big Man: I’m five minutes away now. If you don’t tell me where you are, I’ll be forced to go to the gym with the guys instead.

Madison: And stretch with your foam roller?

Big Man: There will be some foam roller stretching, yes.

Madison: *sigh* What’s a girl got to do to be treated like that?

Big Man: Tell me where you are, otherwise, you’ll never find out.

Madison: That’s a good point. I’m in the library.

Big Man: Perfect. Go to the third floor and meet me in the Ancient

History aisle. I’ve just arrived on campus, so I’ll see you soon.

Madison: *thumbs-up emoji* Can’t wait.

Dropping my phone into my purse, I made my way up the stairs, looking for the Ancient History aisle, which took me forever because it was in an obscure corner that had barely any lights. How the hell did he even know about this place?

With my finger on the books, I paced up and down the aisle in an attempt to calm my nerves. Unfortunately, it didn’t work. I was still anxious, and that nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach wouldn’t go away. Maybe it was just because I hadn’t seen Dash in a few days, and I wasn’t exactly dressed to entice him. Or maybe it was something worse.

The conversation with Tiff came to mind. Fudge bunnies. Was that it? Was I worried about the potential of just being a little fun to Dash? I tipped on my toes, and my heart started racing at just the thought of it. Yes. I guessed I was. Because Tiff was right, something felt off, and I wasn’t sure if it was the fact that we hadn’t told my brother about us yet or if it was something else.

“Madison.” I nearly melted in my shoes because Dash’s deep voice made me feel like every bone in my body had turned to liquid.

“Dash?” I spun on my heels only to come face-to-face with the guy I’d been crushing on for as long as I could remember.

Tall and still brooding, he was wearing a long-sleeved, white T-shirt with gray sweatpants. I swallowed down my thoughts because he looked good enough to eat. I hesitated walking over to him because we were in public.

Dash seemed to notice my hesitancy and swallowed the distance between us so quickly that I instinctively took a few steps back, hitting the wall. Grinning, he used his strong arms to cage me in.

“You seem to like this position, don’t you, Big Man?”

Hungry and dark. Okay, I could now confirm that look wasn’t because he wanted to kill me. He definitely wanted to eat me…again.

Funny. I’d been around him since high school, but this was the first time I’d seen him look at me like he wanted to throw me over his shoulder, take me to his dorm, and strip me of every earthly belonging. Something I’d happily oblige to if my brother didn’t live two doors down. Although, come to think of it, that didn’t stop me before.

As I took a breath in, my breasts rubbed against his chest, and his face was inches away from mine. Neither one of us wanted to speak, and as we stood mere inches apart, all I could feel was this hot tension building between us. The library was quiet, but I couldn’t relish in it because my heart was rioting in my chest.

For the first time, the thrill of the chase wasn’t there. It was just us. Alone together with no one trying to find us.

Twisting my head to the side, I was in awe at just how many books surrounded us. “How did you know about this place?” I raised my hand and winced. “No wait. I probably don’t want to know the answer to that.”

He chuckled and I felt that deep in my soul. “I’ve never been here before. It’s just a few of the hockey guys have told me it’s a good place to bring girls if you want a little privacy.”

This was a hockey make-out spot. My stomach wretched, and I pushed Dash away. “Please. Please. Please don’t tell me this is where Cade brings girls?”

“No.” It was a short answer, but enough to make me relax. “Cade prefers to hang out…” He shook his head. “Never mind.”

I wasn’t about to push him, because frankly, I didn’t want to know.

“It was Brooks. The guy has a thing for book nerds.”

I couldn’t help but think about Tiff’s words on my current situationship. Dash asked me to meet him in a make-out spot. It was a great place for privacy, but was it because he only viewed me as a short-term hookup? As fudge bunny material?

Was he pushing off the idea of telling Cade because he didn’t actually want to date me but use me? Was I falling into the same trap I did with Henry? Why was it that when he looked at me with his deep, intense eyes, I almost didn’t care?

Dash stepped closer, resting his palm on my cheek, and I took in a sharp breath, melting at the touch.

All the wayward thoughts left my mind because something else took over. Something much more carnal.

He leaned in, and I closed my eyes, waiting for his lips to meet mine. Only, that didn’t happen. His breath fanned across my face, and my chest was heaving, but he just stood there, taking me in. I tipped my chin, trying to tempt him, but he didn’t move.

Was he waiting for me?

Sighing, Dash took a step back.

No. Wait. That wasn’t what I wanted.

Without thinking, I grabbed his shirt and pulled him right back in, kissing him hard.

Magic. Was it supposed to feel like magic when you kissed a guy? My body was tingling all over, and that only intensified when Dash’s hands dropped to my waist, pressing into my skin.

As our kiss deepened, his fingers gripped me tighter, and he made sure to swallow my every gasp and sigh. Even though I was in jeans, when he pushed his hips into mine, I could feel his hardness rubbing my center, teasing me. Dash dragged one of his hands down to the back of my knee and lifted my leg, letting it rest around his hip so he could grind into me like he was fucking me.

His body moved against mine at an unrelenting pace. Wave after wave of pleasure followed each and every thrust, and I was almost certain I was going to embarrass myself like the first time we did this and come from the friction alone. It was sad and somewhat pathetic, but as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I was addicted to his touch. I didn’t think anything would feel as good as this.

Dash’s lips dragged down my chin, and he kissed my jawline, trailing more kisses down my neck as he made his way to my collarbone. Closing my eyes, I threw my head back in pleasure because it was definitely going to happen again. I was going to climax on nothing but Dash’s touch.

“Ahem. ”

Dash stopped moving when he heard the soft voice, and I slowly dropped my leg from his hip, feeling the mood dampen.

Busted.

“Not again,” Dash grumbled, and he looked over his shoulder at the woman interrupting us. I appreciated that he was careful to keep me hidden, but the minute she took a few steps closer, and I saw the flaming red hair, I burrowed into Dash’s chest.

“If you’re going to do that in here, could you at least book a study room? They don’t have windows or books that people might want to read.” Her nose was tipped up and her offer might have been sarcastic, but I’d make a note of it since that was a good idea for the future.

“Wait. Madison? Is that you?”

My shoulders slumped as Dash’s eyes widened. Standing on my tiptoes, I popped my head over his shoulder and waved.

“Oh, hey, Aster.” I played dumb, skirting around Dash as I dusted off my jeans, hoping that my hair was still in the presentable half updo that I put it in before Dash got here. “Sorry about that,” I said as I wiped my bottom lip, almost certain I had lipstick smeared across my face. “It’s my fault. I got a little overexcited because I haven’t seen Dash in a few days, so when he came to pick me up, I couldn’t resist.”

With flat lips, she looked at us blankly, clearly unimpressed. “Doesn’t mean you have the right to ruin the books behind you. Some of them are over one hundred years old, you know?”

“If they’re that precious, why are they out here?” I winced at Dash’s question, wondering why he would consider prolonging this torture and poking the proverbial bear. Aster stood up straighter and shook her head in annoyance. Judging by Dash’s face, he realized his mistake.

“You want the library to put all their books under lock and key so your make-out sessions don’t get interrupted?”

“No. You’re right. I’m sorry,” I said, just to get this over with. “We won’t do it again. Promise.”

“Good.” Aster narrowed her eyes, still watching us as she slowly walked away. When the clicking of her heels was only a distant echo, I looked at Dash and bit my lip, suppressing a giggle because it felt like we were back in high school. When I couldn’t hold it back and started laughing, he did too.

“You know she doesn’t even work here?” I said lightly, pointing my thumb in the direction she came.

“She doesn’t?”

“Nope. She’s just always here because she’s a tutor.”

“How do you know her?”

“I live with her.”

“What? Is she a new roommate? I thought you had a single dorm.” Interesting that he’d been thinking of my setup.

“I do. She lives opposite.”

“Is she that pleasant in the dorms?”

I waved him off. “She’s not that bad. As long as you have your music turned off after ten, you wouldn’t even notice her there. She’s barely around because she and her roommate Marissa don’t get along.”

Dash bent his knees and kissed me quickly before leaving a lingering kiss behind my ear and resting his forehead against mine. Chuckling lightly, he looked at me as his fingers toyed with the belt loop of my jeans.

“You know, I just wanted to come see you after being away for a few days. I didn’t mean to maul you in the library.”

“Maul away, Big Man. I’m all yours.” I opened my arms out, making my chest push out, grazing his. Dash let out a low grumble before brushing his nose across mine.

“Don’t tempt me, Madison. I swear I’m going to have issues walking out of here if you’re not careful.”

I took a sharp breath. “Because of your boner?”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not flashing you in the library.”

I pouted my bottom lip out. “Why not?”

“Because I like my scholarship,” he grumbled before looking up at me with a glint in his eyes. “And you’ll most likely see it later.”

Fudge bunny alert.

As I looked at Dash, Tiff’s words echoed through my mind, and I knew I should have probably talked to him about it instead of kissing him like he was my only oxygen. I couldn’t help it, though. The feeling I got with Dash was different. With Henry, I was riddled with anxiety, pushing him to try to get a reaction. I knew Dash better than Henry, and in my mind the situations were completely different. I could trust Dash. I knew it.

“Come to my dorm,” I said breathlessly and without thinking, because I didn’t want our time together to end.

“Your dorm?”

“Yeah. It’s the middle of the day. No one’s around. Let’s hang out.” I sunk my teeth into his bottom lip, playing with the fabric of his shirt. He let out an uneasy sigh because he knew the innuendo behind it. I couldn’t help myself. Now that I had him, I wanted to feel him all over again.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” His eyes dragged down my body, and I tried not to take his hesitancy personally. “I’ve got a game in a few hours.” Ah, yes. How could I forget? I had Cade’s hockey schedule plastered on my wall.

“Fine. Then come back to mine for a few more minutes. I just want to spend some time with you. Alone.”

Still uncertain, I pushed up on my tiptoes and kissed the light stubble across his chin. His muscles relaxed. Then I kissed the corner of his mouth, moving away when he tried to make it a full-on kiss. Gripping my hands on his shoulders, I pulled him down so I could whisper in his ear. “Pretty please?”

“How the hell am I supposed to say no to that?”

“You’re not. That’s the point.”

“Fine.” I grinned, and he pointed at me in warning. “But I can’t stay long.”

I raised my hands and nodded. “Sure.”

Dash held out his large hand, and I eagerly accepted it. I wasn’t sure why, but that move made me feel like there was something a little more ‘official’ about our relationship. He was going to walk out of the library hand in hand with me. Anyone could see us. This was a huge move.

Leading me across the floor, it took two of my steps to keep up with his, but he slowed the minute I heard voices. That was when he dropped my hand and adjusted the bill of his Covey U baseball cap.

With his gaze planted firmly on the floor, he walked ahead of me and out of the building.

Okay then.

I’d clearly read that situation wrong .

Once outside, it took Dash a few of his large strides to realize I was lagging behind him, and although I didn’t want to pout in public, this little game between us didn’t feel fun right now. I wanted to shout from the rooftops that Dash and I were together, but we still weren’t there yet, and I was starting to wonder if he was using the concern over my intentions as a convenient excuse.

“You coming?” he asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets, throwing me a small smile. If I blinked, I would have missed it. I didn’t have the heart to throw a scene in public, so I shuffled forward, leaving a comfortable distance between us, but making sure I didn’t touch him. His elbow brushed against my arm as he side-stepped a little closer to me, but I stepped away, keeping my gaze to the floor. This wasn’t how I wanted Dash, and I was starting to feel like the same dirty little secret Henry was trying to keep.

“You know, I really feel like we should be waiting until tomorrow, after our date, before I go to your dorm,” he whispered as we walked through the quad.

I looked at him from the corner of my eye and answered with a small, placid smile. His lips twitched in return and my heart fluttered. Just like the night he took my virginity, that electric energy was flying between us even though we weren’t touching.

This had to be real. I refused to believe otherwise.