Chapter 16

Staring down at the most uninspiring nachos the cafeteria had to offer, I pouted my bottom lip out, feeling as lost and broken as the tortilla chips in front of me, because not only had I not slept in the last two days, but I was completely and utterly confused about what I should do next.

Dash stopped responding to my texts, and it was kind of hard to tease the guy you were interested in when you were almost certain he’d blocked you.

It was my own fault. I got too cocky and showed my hand. I’d embarrassed myself and now he had no reason to chase me when he knew I was right there, waiting for him to come back to me.

My head was hurting, my brain was too confused to keep thinking about it, and what made it worse was that there was no one here to get advice from. I couldn’t keep hitting up Tiff with my every problem, she had more important things to worry about. All I could do was replay the memories of my one night with Dash together over and over again in my head. All the things he said, all the ways he made me feel special. It was all there, and if I put the pieces together in my brain, we fit, so why wasn’t the puzzle making any sense?

Picking at the nachos, I grunted when the wind picked up, sending a chill through my Covey Wildcat T-shirt. The temperature wasn’t too bad for November but sitting outside in voluntary exile sucked. I was hiding out. Avoiding the hockey team at all costs since I didn’t want to see Dash and start babbling like an incoherent giraffe.

No one was around, but my face was heating because merely thinking about all the things I did to impress Dash was embarrassing. It was my first semester at college, and I was chasing my high school crush hard instead of focusing on being a strong, independent woman. I should be enjoying myself and meeting new guys, making new friends, and learning how to live life on my own. Instead, I was hiding out and letting myself be shackled to a goaltender who seemed to not be that into me after all.

I bit down on a soggy chip harder than I should have, biting my tongue in the process and cursing at the pain it left behind.

Dash’s caring eyes came to mind, and I shook my head angrily because I wanted to stop thinking about him, but I couldn’t. Was I like those werewolves in Twilight ? Had having sex with a hockey player once made me imprint on him for the rest of my life? At least, I thought that was what happened in that movie. I was too distracted by all the abs to follow the plot closely enough. But either way, Dash seemed to be the only guy my silly heart wanted, and as much as I tried to entice him, it felt like he just wasn’t that interested.

Nothing more was ever going to happen between us, and I needed to accept that. We kissed and had sex, but it was all part of an agreement. One no one else would ever know about. I was Dash’s dirty little secret, and I needed to be okay with that.

My eyes were burning from the lack of sleep, and my stomach was churning from drinking too many caffeinated sodas. I checked my phone so often, that I received an alert asking if I was okay. I didn’t even know it did that.

Out of habit, I glanced at my phone again, disappointed that the only unread message was from Tiff, asking me about the weather. Nothing from Dash. It was never from Dash, and the only way my little heart was getting through this was to tell myself that he was busy with hockey, because the reality of him blocking me was more than I could handle .

I shoved a nacho in my mouth, letting the burst of spice numb my thoughts for all of two seconds since my head was so fuzzy from tiredness and the sheer number of thoughts running through it.

Dash was trouble. The hockey team was trouble. Even more so for me because my brother was on it. I needed to let them go. Hockey boys were poison, and the only antidote was to stay far, far away from their asses…even if they were the tightest ones I’d ever seen.

“Madison? What are you doing out here? It’s freezing.” I dropped the nacho chip and looked up. The sun was shining, so I had to squint to see Adam’s haloed head in the sunlight.

With his purple and white letterman jacket on, he had his hands in his pockets, clearly shivering from the cold.

“Adam?” I breathed out his name on a sigh because, was this a sign? I’d just affirmed that I needed to stay away from hockey boys, and out walked a football player. Not just any football player, one that looked like a literal angel with his blond hair and perfect features.

Shaking my head, I huffed out a breath because this was typical of me. Always jumping on my next boy crush to try to forget about the last guy who broke my heart. Although, if I was honest, the only one that really broke it was Dash. Henry was just something to pass the time, but Dash, well, I’d thought about Dash for years. I’d slept with him, and it was the best moment I’d ever experienced. Hell, I’d made up an entire life for us in my head, and the realization that it wasn’t going to happen was the thing hurting me the most.

“You’re wearing a Wildcat shirt?” He glared at the purple and white fabric with confusion.

I waved it off. “Yeah, I, uh, went to watch your game last week.”

“You did?”

“Yeah,” I drawled out, leaving out the fact that I was pretending to be sleeping with one of them.

“Should have told me. I could have gotten you some tickets.”

“Too late for that now,” I responded sarcastically. Not that he knew what I was referring to.

“Not gonna lie, you look a little down.”

“Pfft.” I pushed out a pout, trying to make my current situation funny to ease the tension. “That’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one. Did you know I haven’t washed my hair in two days?”

His brows creased, but he didn’t balk at the admission, which was surprising because most people did when I started rambling like this.

“Okay. Any particular reason why you’ve been ignoring your hygiene?”

“Dash and I broke up.” I could have told the truth, that I’d slept with Dash, and even though I was trying to win him over with my feminine wiles, it didn’t work, but that was too long-winded. The outcome was the same whichever way you looked at it, so why not say that we broke up? It was how I felt, anyway.

Adam drew in a sharp breath and winced like I wounded him. “I’m sorry. That sucks. I know you really liked him.”

Yeah, I did. “It’s life. Should have known hockey boys weren’t for me, I guess.”

“Probably didn’t help that he was your brother’s best friend, either.”

“Nope,” I popped out, glaring at him with annoyance. “I guess you were right.”

“I won’t gloat,” he said with such a straight face that I believed him. “Look, I’ve got to meet Aiden for lunch, but I don’t feel comfortable leaving you out here when it’s so cold. Do you want to come?”

Shaking my head, I pushed the nachos away from me and raised my hands. “Oh no, I couldn’t impose.” I also couldn’t just hop from one athletic team to another, could I?

“You wouldn’t be.” He tipped his chin toward my nachos. “We’re going to Covey’s Cantina. The Mexican food there is a lot better than what you’re eating now. Is that even considered real cheese?”

My nostrils flared as I glared down at my lunch and thought about it. “Probably not.”

“Then come on. It looks like you need some cheering up.”

He offered me his arm, and I stared at it for a few seconds. Hang out with a couple of guys talking football, or hang out here, wallowing in my own misery? Without another thought, I threaded my hand through his arm and let him help me up.

“Let’s go,” I said when I was fully standing. He nodded, leading me to the bar .

If anything, hanging out with them would be a good distraction from all the other stuff going on in my life. Maybe I’d even be able to stop thinking about Dash for a few minutes.

By the time we met Aiden and had food at Covey’s Cantina, I could admit that I was having fun. So much so that I had to wipe the tears from my eyes because I was laughing so hard. Turned out, football guys were pretty fun when you gave them a chance. That was when Adam wasn’t ragging on Aiden for having loud, hot tub sex, of course.

I was having fun, and for the first time in a long time, I hadn’t thought about Dash. Wait, did thinking about not thinking about Dash count as thinking about him? Because if it did, then I was lying to myself because I’d done that a lot. But at least I wasn’t in my room crying to Tiff, which was an improvement from last night. I was out; I was eating Mexican food, and I was laughing, which had to count for something.

“So, Madison. Are you joining us tonight?” Aiden asked, raising his brows mischievously. After hearing about all the pranks they’d been pulling on their next-door neighbors for the last hour, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what they were up to.

Adam leaned back and shunted Aiden on the shoulder. “No. She’s not.”

I might not have been sure if I wanted to go with them, but I didn’t want that choice taken away from me.

“Where are you guys going? I might want to come.” I sat up a little more confidently.

Aiden held his fisted hand over the table, and when I fist-bumped him, he said, “That’s my girl.”

“She’s not your girl,” Adam replied, flat-lipped and annoyed. “And when she finds out where we’re going, she’s not going to want to come.”

“ She can speak for herself,” I replied with sass, because the more time I spent with them, the more at ease I felt. Sure, I was confused about Dash, but these guys made me feel like things were easy. Like I hadn’t just potentially screwed up my brother’s friendship for a quick lay. “So, where are you guys going?”

“To the Crushers game.”

My smile dropped, and all that bravado disappeared. “Oh.”

Aiden looked over at me with curiosity. “What’s wrong? Thought your brother was on the team.”

My brother and his best friend, who also secretly took my virginity. Not complicated at all.

“Doesn’t mean she wants to watch him play every single game.”

I couldn’t help but give Adam an amused smile because it was nice how he was trying to make me sound less pathetic than I felt, but this conversation highlighted a huge issue for me. I would eventually have to go back and watch my brother play.

“Does this have something to do with the disgruntled goalie?” Aiden asked.

“I, uh.” Shit. Was it that obvious? “How did you know?”

Aiden’s lips curved. “Pretty clear if you look close enough.”

“Says the guy who’s told everyone Lyss is off-limits.”

My gaze was ping-ponging between the two football players as they spoke. “Wait, who’s Lyss?”

“Alyssa,” Aiden drawled out pointedly, “is the neighbor who keeps pulling pranks on us.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “Pretty sure the only reason this prank war started was because you wanted an excuse to rifle through her underwear drawer.”

“That’s just a perk of the job.”

“So, do you like her?”

He didn’t answer, but his pressed lips and clenched jaw did. “Never said that.”

He was holding back, just like Dash.

“Didn’t have to.”

“Hey, Madison. I heard that Lyss was getting cozy with one of the hockey players at The Draft. Maybe you could help me reintroduce them.” Adam had a glint in his eye, and he flicked his gaze to Aiden.

Tight-lipped, Aiden was doing his best to remain calm, but I could see the anger bubbling up in his jaw.

“Did you see who she was talking to, A?” Adam elbowed his friend but got no response. “Ah, you know what? I remember. His name is Scotty Hendricks. Do you know him?”

I smiled brightly. “Oh, yeah, I know him. He’s a great guy—”

“—that Alyssa will never know because she’s mine.” Aiden said the words so flatly and casually that if you weren’t looking at his face, you’d think he was joking. He wasn’t, and an icy chill ran through my blood just seeing how protective he was of her.

It was kind of sexy, if I was being honest, and something about it reminded me of Dash. I just wished Dash would act like that with me. The only time he acted nearly as possessive was at the football game.

Suddenly, an idea popped into my head, and I looked between Adam and Aiden with a brighter smile than before.

Dash ignored all my flirting with the hockey team because he knew I wasn’t being serious with them. But when I flirted with these guys at The Draft, he was completely different. He was feral and riled up to the hilt. Even just mentioning that I was attending the football game ticked him off enough to escort me, even if the outcome ended up being a shit-show.

Tonight would be different though, because this time, I’d actually be with the football players again. Would he be just as wild if he saw me with them? On his turf. It was just too tempting to not find out.

Oh, it was a delicious kind of torture that I was planning on putting my reluctant beau through, and I had to bite my bottom lip just to stop myself from smiling too hard.

“I want to go to the game.” Adam looked at me with surprise. “What? I want to watch my brother.” And see Dash’s reaction when I show up with you guys , but I kept that tidbit to myself.

“You sure?” Adam looked at me with unease.

“Yup. I’ve got to go and watch my brother again sometime. At least you guys can make me feel better about being there. Let’s do this,” I said confidently because this was going to be even more fun than The Draft.

“Go Crushers!” I hollered and clapped, feeling, for the first time in my life, a little out of place. My shoulders knocked against the football players on either side of me while my brother skated around the rink for his warm-up. If I wanted to make an impression with the hockey team tonight, I certainly did that.

Cade did nothing to hide his snarl when he saw me walking in with the two athletes. I couldn’t help but smile because if I could so easily convince my brother that I was dating one of these guys, I could only imagine the kinds of thoughts that would run through Dash’s mind.

“Hey!” I hollered when some fabric landed on my head, messing up my hair. Grumbling in annoyance, I pulled it off only to realize it was my brother’s practice jersey.

“Madison.” Cade’s voice took me by surprise, and when I saw him glaring at me from the board, he pointed to his jersey. “Put that on right now.”

I laughed off his annoyance and flitted my hand. “Why would I do that?”

He flicked his gaze at Aiden and then to Adam. “They know why. You’re a Bright. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.”

Then he just glared. Really. He glared at them for just standing next to me. Over-protective asshole.

Adam scoffed, and Aiden mumbled, “Challenge accepted,” before Cade skated off, scowling at the guys as he did it. It was official. My brother needed to get a life.

“You’re not accepting any challenge,” Adam said, and I was lucky I was short enough that they could have an argument over my head that I didn’t need to participate in. I stopped listening the minute the grumpy goaltender entered the ice because all my focus was on him.

Skating to the side, Dash hadn’t noticed me yet, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I held my brother’s jersey to my stomach, hoping that no one could hear the incessantly loud grumblings coming from it. I wasn’t hungry. I was nervous as hell because I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel if this didn’t work. It was my last attempt at getting Dash, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to accept that.

When Dash dropped to the ice and started stretching his legs, all those nerves in my stomach started to subside because I remembered what it was like to be under him when he did that move. Oh, how I dreamed about being that ice and to feel him pushing into me again. When we had sex, he was gentle, but I could tell by the way he spoke that he liked some things dirty, and I wanted to experience more.

Cade banged against the glass, making me jump, but I shouldn’t have been surprised. He’d been stopping to wave at me every two minutes and point at his jersey because I still hadn’t bothered to put it on. He’d never been this persistent before, so again, I could only put it down to him trying to intimidate the guys on either side of me.

I waved back at him dismissively, hoping he’d stop soon because it was getting mildly embarrassing. I was nineteen, for crying out loud. If I wanted to sleep with these guys, it was my choice. Not my overprotective brother who would rather I become a nun because he doesn’t like to see me cry.

“Jersey on.”

I gave him a placating smile as I watched him skate away. Lucky for me, he skated around Dash, who was still stretching. My core clenched as I watched him like some kind of voyeur on the internet. I swallowed, wondering if Cade’s jersey would stop anyone from seeing me sweating because I was feeling hot and bothered by Dash’s display. As I pulled the jersey over my head, I closed my eyes, hoping that little interlude would stop all the naughty thoughts running through my mind. But when I poked my head out and saw Dash now talking to Scotty, I realized it didn’t matter what position Dash was in, I’d never be able to look at him again without thinking about what it felt like to have him inside me.

“Are you sure you’re okay with being here?” Adam asked, glancing down at my fidgeting hands. To him, I looked nervous because I was worried about seeing my apparent ex-boyfriend, but in reality, I was nervous about what Dash would do when he saw me. He was broody at the best of times, but would this throw him over the edge?

“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Adam raised a brow and then glanced over at the rink. “Because your secret boyfriend that you had an argument with is on the ice, doing some mildly erotic stretches.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” I played it cool, pretending I hadn’t been watching him. I subtly glanced over again, surprised that he went back to those stretches. I thought he’d finished.

“Made you look,” Adam teased, elbowing me in the ribs.

Rolling my eyes, I pushed his shoulder, but he was so solid I ended up pushing myself into Aiden, who lifted his drink up and out of the way, careful not to spill any on me.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, gaining my footing.

Aiden brought his drink down, taking a sip as he raised a brow at me. “ Trying to make your little goaltender jealous again?”

“He’s not little. He’s six foot six.”

“He can join the club. We’re all six foot six here.”

Adam groaned and rolled his eyes. Leaning over the front of me, he said, “Shall I get the tape measure out? We can check.”

“No need. I’m not as precious as you, Mr. Five Foot Eleven.”

“I’m six feet.”

“That one inch is really important to you, isn’t it, Adam? Guess when you don’t have many, you’ve got to cherish the few inches that you do have.”

Grunting, I asked, “Is this really how guys talk to each other?”

“Yes,” they said simultaneously.

I rolled my eyes and sat down because these guys were making the hockey team look like intellectuals, and I was tired of listening to their macho babble.

Thankfully, the music quieted down and the game started, which meant I could have a little time to myself. Dash’s helmet was down now, and he was focused on the game, so getting his attention would be hard. Should I even try? Distracting a player wasn’t normally my style, but if that was the only way I was going to get him to notice me, then what else could I do?

Following the crowd, I took my seat and leaned into Adam. He looked down with interest.

I cleared my throat before adjusting my jersey. “If I, uh, wanted to make a certain someone jealous, would you be able to help me?”

Adam narrowed his eyes, looking uncertain. “But they’re playing—”

“I’ll do it,” Aiden said cheerfully from my other side, and when I turned to him, he was grinning eagerly. “Might tick off your annoying brother, too.”

“It’s your funeral,” Adam mumbled, sinking into his seat while he took a sip of his drink.

What was Adam so scared of? He acted like it was wrong of me to poke the proverbial bear. As though Dash would do something crazy, but what was the worst that could happen? He was on the ice, and we were out here. It wasn’t like he was going to break through the plexiglass to get to me. He couldn’t without making a scene and outing us to my brother, breaking the pinkie promise.

No. He was going to have to watch and see how it felt when he thought I’d apparently moved on from him.

Licking my lips, I relaxed into my seat and smiled because it wasn’t going to be long until Dash noticed me here.